You're browsing the archives of Triangle and Robert.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Triangle and Robert #1441 Where was I? / In a large buried structure of the Fourth Race. / Right, and that's where I found... this. Gentlemen. / What? / Behold! / Normally I'd just play along with that reference, but let's respect Triangle's feelings.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1441
Triangle and Robert #1442 RECAPULON READY - State events to recap. / It works. Ask it something. / Okay... uh... Recapulon, what happened on last week's All Our Vertices? / Trapezium discovered that Polly was lying about Charles's pregnancy. Todd used the talisman to raise Concave Heptagon's evil twin as a zombie. An explosion shut down the airport, but Lois kept the pretzel factory running. --- CONTINUE ---
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1442
Triangle and Robert #1443 Error, bound exception in text buffer. Error, bound exception in text buffer. Error. / Cancel all. / RECAPULON READY - State events to recap. / It does that when it's done recapping. I think I messed something up when I converted it to our modern dialect. / Even so, that must have been quite a feat of linguistic geometry. / What are you implying? / I wasn't implying anything, I was complimenting you. Is there something to imply?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1443
Triangle and Robert #1444 Maybe that came out rude. I'm not thinking straight. This machine... can it recap non-fiction as well? / That's why I figured you'd want to try it out, as a matter of fact. Maybe all this stuff with the Cartoonist and the pudding and the who-knows-what'll make sense in mechanical hindsight. / Indeed. Recapulon: Recap my status as the Chosen One. / Error, no work found: "My Status As the Chosen One". Alternate title, or cancel. / It needs a title. / Recapulon! Recap... Triangle and Robert!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1444
Triangle and Robert #1445 It can't recap the whole strip! / Why not? / It'd take hours! Weeks, by comic time! / We don't have to pay attention to it all, just the plot parts. / Cube, cancel the recap. / No. Let Recapulon speak. / Are you insane... er? / No, I'm lazy and a long recap means less work writing. Also, there are a few events that need clarifying or possibly subtle revisions. / Revisions. History is doomed.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1445
 
Triangle and Robert #1446 Triangle and Robert began in a nondescript whiteness, which would turn out to be an apartment or something like that. They were confused and unaware of even the most basic aspects of polygon life, as was the Cartoonist who created them. They asked for and received mouths, for which they had no need, and food. Robert revealed that he was allergic to chocolate. / Being in a comic strip, they resolved to seek adventure, and set out to find a library in which they could research comic-strip adventure techniques. Upon leaving their home, they met their neighbor Cube, who came across as somewhat befuddled. He gave them bad directions to the library. Following them, the two got lost and split up. / While Triangle followed a mysterious woman speaking vaguely of his destiny, Robert found the library and the tome "Madcap Hijinks for Idiots". A pentagon accused him (not without cause) of reading too loudly and he was banned from the library. Unable to understand the directions given him by a passing tetrahedron, he wandered.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1446
Triangle and Robert #1447 While Robert stood at a crossroads in thought, Triangle attempted to converse with the mysterious messenger of destiny. She wasn't authorized to tell him anything, but did lead him to a mystic site where the birth of the universe would be revealed to him, except that it wasn't. / The Cartoonist was unable to draw it and asked her to summarize. Taking mild offense, she left, stranding Triangle somewhere vague. (It is likely that he was in some part of the Zone of No Pudding.) The messenger was later let go from her temp job. / Back on Earth (for human readers, it may be best to think of it as "Earth-Puddic" to distinguish it from the various other earths a human comic reader encounters), Robert made a decision at the crossroads. Rather than follow the "Pudding Factory" or "Haunted House" sign, he mangled them to create a "Haunted Pudding Factory" sign which he then followed.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1447
Triangle and Robert #1448 Robert encountered the puddingy-ghosty being Orpuddex, who identified himself as the Guardian of the Pudding Factory of the Dead and tried to be scary. To avert his wrath, Robert asked about the monster's identity, and Orpuddex told his backstory (as he understood it at the time). / Orpuddex told of the Beforings, universe-creating beings. He explained that the universe in which Robert now stood was a particularly minor universe of their creation, a universe created of pudding. Orpuddex was created to watch over the universe in its infancy. / Orpuddex became hesitant at this point, uncertain whether to speak of his shame. Meanwhile, the Cartoonist sent Triangle to a painfully idiotic Oz parody for no apparent reason. Triangle refused to participate and the parody, though not before getting in a couple more punchlines.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1448
Triangle and Robert #1449 Orpuddex told Robert of his shame: the pudding grew lumpy. These lumps became the stars and planets. Orpuddex believed that if he had stirred the universe better life would never have formed. He also made reference to a Chosen One who would come to face him without fear. / Robert identified Triangle from Orpuddex's discussion of the Chosen One, and Orpuddex attempted to eat Robert's memories so that word would not reach Triangle. Robert ran away and entered a door to the Zone of No Pudding, where he was reunited with Triangle. / Agreeing not to ask the Cartoonist for help in escaping, they exchanged notes to pass the time. Triangle did not mention the demeaning Oz parody at first, but when they got hungry enough he produced the obligatory magical shoes, which took them first to Kansas (or a parody thereof) and then home.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1449
Triangle and Robert #1450 Upon returning home from their first adventure, Triangle and Robert were greeting by Cube, who had baked snacks. The snacks were unpleasant in odor but otherwise satisfying. The two protagonists then decided to seek a source of income so that they could purchase wallpaper, as thier home lacked a background. / Robert formulated a plan to rustle sheep while Triangle had a brief, angsty, and utterly fruitless conversation with the Cartoonist. They then traveled to Scotland to execute Robert's plan. In Scotland, the two encountered Orpuddex, who demanded that Triangle do battle with him. Triangle refused and the pair fled while Orpuddex was giving redundant exposition. / The Cartoonist found no sheep clip-art, and so the outward form of polygonal sheep came to be a black rectangle marked "INSERT SHEEP". No one was satisfied with this, least of all the sheep. Robert's rustling plan involved hotwiring. Neither the sheep nor Triangle found this satisfactory, and Triangle encouraged the sheep to flee.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1450
 
Triangle and Robert #1451 After the flock of sheep which they had been attempting to rustle fled, Triangle and Robert left Scotland. One sheep, to which Robert had applied a great deal of electricity, underwent a transformation. This sheep, who would come to call itself the Cornersheep, decided it was a supervillain, in large part due to anger at being drawn badly. / The Cornersheep devised a plan for world domination hinging on the economic control of artificial flavors and established a hideout in a suitable location (which would prove to be all too near the home of the protagonists). Meanwhile, Triangle and Robert went to an employment agency. / At ABLCDR Employment, they were counseled by a pentagon suspiciously congruent to the one from the library. The job lead he provided did not pan out, but nearby the two came across the Locust Garden, an allegedly Chinese restaurant with many job openings, some ominous. They were hired almost instantly as waitstaff and made the best they could of horrible food. Orpuddex suddenly arrived.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1451
Triangle and Robert #1452 Triangle refused to do battle against Orpuddex, and Orpuddex anticlimactically settled for order lo mein. The Cartoonist inserted a couple jokes referencing the British television series "The Prisoner" for some reason. Triangle and Robert noticed that the restaurant used startling quantities of MSG and other questionable ingredients. / The Cornersheep attacked the restaurant with a small squad of combat-trained sheep. and unsuccessfully attempted to steal the restaurant's supply of MSG. A battle ensued in which the Cornersheep turn many restaurant patrons into punctuation marks with a raygun and escaped. The Cartoonist utterly failed to draw this battle. / To protect their jobs and advance the plot, Triangle and Robert acquired heavy weaponry on credit and tracked the Cornersheep to his lair, an abandoned sweater factory. In order to gain the element of surprise, they dispatched the perimeter guards then left to get Thai food. The Cornersheep waited in vain for them to arrive to use his mysterious weapon, the Ovinoculatron.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1452
Triangle and Robert #1453 As the Cornersheep waited, his blood pressure rose. T&R took their time eating lunch and eventually returned to the warehouse to find the Cornersheep lying on his back motionless. They presumed him dead of a heart attack and left, not bothering to check his pulse or anything since that would be bad for the plot. / The restaurant crisis solved, Triangle and Robert decided to go into business for themselves, and a few months later Triangle and Robert Wacky Scheme Consultants was in business. Cube hired them to dispose of a mysterious cursed relic by throwing it into a volcano, giving no information but offering an unspecified large amout of money. Triangle and Robert took the relic to nearby Mount Scary. / The two came across Orpuddex who recognized the relic and greatly desired it. For no really good reason they allowed Orpuddex to accompany them on their climb. The Cartoonist briefly referenced Gollum. Approximately halfway up the mountain, Orpuddex stole the relic. No one was surprised. Orpuddex brought the relic to a crude altar, made all the cruder by the Cartoonist's ineptitude.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1453
Triangle and Robert #1454 The Cartoonist drew a sign marked "Altar of the Fourth Race" to help Triangle and Robert find their way to where Orpuddex was attempting to summon an interdimensional demon named Garktor. Orpuddex was missing a key, if silly, component for the summoning and left to seek it. / Triangle and Robert arrived at the altar and recovered the relic while Orpuddex and the Cartoonist engaged in a pointless duel of wills, then came the first Character Profile strips. T&R were upset at having to descend the mountain to fill out the profiles. Triangle became further upset when Robert mentioned noticing a chairlift. They were then upset when they reached the top and saw no crater. / Rather than draw the crater so everyone could get on with the plot, the Cartoonist instead drew Prozac the Bear, a singing childlike giant pharmaceutical. Triangle's degree of upset reached violent levels and he broke Prozac. Triangle and Robert talked the Cartoonist out of creating a "character" consisting of an inanimate bar of soap, and he drew the crater, into which they threw the relic.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1454
Triangle and Robert #1455 The crater turned out not to have any lava, but by this point Triangle was past caring. Robert conceeded that Orpuddex was unlikely to pose any threat with the relic and they returned from Mount Scary, reporting the adventure to Cube as a success. Upon hearing the name Orpuddex, Cube screamed that the Time of the Oval was at hand and ran off. / Triangle and Robert decided not to worry about Cube's unusual behavior for the time being. Soon they were on an adventure convincing the Senate to sign a client's fish. Triangle was convinced that Robert's scheme was absurd rather than wacky, and the strip went on a tangent concerning where to draw the line between the two. / Robert eventually conceded that the scheme was in fact absurd. This did not dissuade him. Proceeding according to Robert's plan, Triangle and Robert attempted to jetpack to the Capitol. Neither knew how to steer. Triangle incorrectly concluded that it would be safe to turn off his jetpack and fall to the not-drawn and thus presumably soft ground.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1455
 
Triangle and Robert #1456 Robert made a safe landing by continuing upward until he hit the ground from the other side, in a gross violation of numerous scientific and mathematical laws. Triangle had a large crack in him, and Robert, still intent on wackiness, brought him to an appliance repairman rather than a doctor. This marked the first occurence of Triangle's death. / While Robert mourned, Triangle found himself in the same strange spiritual realm where his destiny was previously not revealed to him. A different messenger spoke with him this time, the first one having been let go. This messenger, however, was not substantially more competent than the first. Nothing of import was revealed. / The Cartoonist claimed that he actually did mean for Triangle's destiny to be revealed but that he lacked the skill to write in. Triangle then came back to life, summarizing his miraculous resurrection to Robert as "the cartoonist [...] couldn't draw the afterlife." Robert healed Triangle's remaining injuries with a tire repair kit and the two returned to the fish-signing scheme.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1456
Triangle and Robert #1457 The scheme was successful somehow. The client appeared in a television commercial advertising Triangle and Robert Wacky Scheme Consultants. Despite this commercial offering free monkeys, business remained slow. Then, as Triangle and Robert watched in boredom, the Oval fell from the sky. they took turns sitting on it to no effect. / The comic then joined Cube in a Fourth Race ruin, inaccurately but consistently denoted as a "temple". Cube attempted to convice the Cartoonist that it was actually a frozen-foods warehouse and he was getting ice cream. The Cartoonist saw through this ruse. While Triangle and Robert briefly addressed the issue of a guest artist, Cube encountered Orpuddex. / Orpuddex threatened Cube with death if he did not leave the temple. Cube refused and was cornered in a men's room. The Cartoonist offered him a confusing deus ex machina by way of escape, which he accepted. At this point the Cartoonist's computer broke and the first set of emergency text-mode strips was created. This was not the deus ex machina.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1457
Triangle and Robert #1458 The first batch of emergency text-mode strips was mostly uneventful. Robert told a joke about the mind's necessarily imperfect understanding of Time that went nowhere. The proper comic resumed to find Cube successfully evading Orpuddex thanks to the Cartoonist's confusing deus ex machina. / Cube repayed the Cartoonist's assistance with exposition. Cube revealed that he worked for RDCLBA, the government agency resposible for covering things up, particularly immensely powerful things left behind by ancient civilizations. One such civilization, the self-named "Fourth Race", had been recently found to be far more advanced than previously believed. / The temple Cube was currently exploring was the largest know Fourth Race structure surviving. Cube was sent to destroy anything indicative of advanced technology. However, he did not intend to follow this order. He had come to the realization that the relics of the Fourth Race were too important to destroy, and had begun to study them rather than destroy them.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1458
Triangle and Robert #1459 The Cartoonist and Cube reached the realization that with the Cartoonist drawing the temple, nothing of interest could be found. The strip cut to a side story in which Prozac the Bear went on "a fun-filled magical romp through the author's grossly twisted psyche". He met the artist's irrational fear of potatoes. / The embarrased Cartoonist kicked Prozac out and unsuccessfully attempted to kick out the fear of potatoes. The strip returned to the temple, where Cube was examining a tablet he had found. He became extremely suspicious of the Cartoonist and repeatedly asked him "What are you?". The strip cut back to Triangle, Robert, and the Oval. / The Oval moved and seemed to attempt to speak. The strip cut to the Cornersheep in Scotland. The Cornersheet refused to do anything until one of the existing plot threads was resolved. The strip cut back to Cube and the reason for his reaction was revealed: the Fourth Race was man. The Cartoonist insisted that he had no relationship to thim. Meanwhile, the Oval was about to open but then didn't.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1459
Triangle and Robert #1460 The Oval spoke to Triangle and Robert briefly and in unclear terms. The Cartoonist felt he was unable to effectively continue the plotline which he had planned around the Oval and decided to attempt an alterate plan. He began by borrowing a teleportation device from the Cornersheep. / The Cartoonist informed Cube that Triangle and Robert did not actually destroy the relic Cube had entrusted to them. Cube came to the conclusion that Triangle and Robert could not be trusted with the Oval. The Cartoonist gave Cube the teleporter. The Cartoonist then told Orpuddex that Cube was approaching the Oval, and Orpuddex decided to pursue him. / The Cartoonist called the RDCLBA and spoke with the Pentagon, informing him of Cube's whereabouts. The net result was that Orpuddex, Cube and an RDCLBA team led by the Pentagon all converged on Triangle, Robert and the Oval. Cube took the Oval from Triangle and activated the teleporter.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1460
 
Triangle and Robert #1461 Cube, the Pentagon, the other RDCLBA agents, Orpuddex, and the Oval were teleported. The Cartoonist returned the teleporter to the Cornersheep. The teleporter had been set for Austria, but the Cornersheep explained that it couldn't go to Austria due to the language barrier. / Cube et al emerged from teleportation at the least Austrian point on the planet, the molten pudding core. (The planet was incidentally revealed to be in the shape of a 4D hypertaco and to have multiple cores.) This was fatal to Cube and the RDCLBA team. Shortly thereafter, Triangle and Robert were hired for a new case by some rich people with no sense of taste. / Prozac the Bear had run into the plant two days prior. Since then, no one had gone in or come out. The city's supply of the potato-flavored soft drink was cut off. Triangle and Robert were hired to restore it. They made several unsuccessful attempts tbefore passing the inexplicably powerful security systems and penetrating the interior of the bottling plant.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1461
Triangle and Robert #1462 Within the Tater Fizz Plant, Triangle and Robert encountered Prozac the Bear, who had been posessed by the irrational fear of potatoes. While Robert performed an impromptu squid-based exorcism, Triangle found the plan employees, who were shaken but unharmed. / The fear of potatoes jumped hosts, possessing Triangle. Disembodied, Triangle was again spoken to about his destiny. Many vague things were said about Orpuddex, Triangle's identity, and the nature of time. None of these things made sense to Triangle, and when he said so the messenger of destiny took offense and refused to explain any further. / Robert pursued the possessed Triangle, catching up to him on Mount Scary. He successfully performed a second exorcism and the city's supply of Tater Fizz was saved. Character profile strips for Prozac and the fear of potatoes were presented. Triangle and Robert realized that they never had gotten around to wallpapering their home. Robert suggested trying the furnishings store with the silliest name first.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1462
Triangle and Robert #1463 Triangle and Robert took a bus driven by an unhygenic monkey to Dolphin and Asparagus Interior Decorations Adventure Triple Plus Alpha. They decided against shopping there because of the eerie floating shopkeepers and walked to the Sane Home Store, which was somewhat less eerie if a bit defensive. / The only wallpaper available to purchase was invisible. Due to the Cartoonist's tampering, very few items of interior or exterior decoration remained visible in the world, and those were simplified to the point of abstraction. Realizing that they had no way to meaningfully furnish their home, Triangle and Robert gave up on their shopping expedition. / Triangle came to the conclusion that he could make a better strip than the Cartoonist and set out to demonstrate such. His first attempt, "Dot and Other Dot", was short-lived: the title characters demanded guns and hookers and stormed out when such were not provided. Triangle accused the Cartoonist of sabotage, which the Cartoonist did not quite deny.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1463
Triangle and Robert #1464 Triangle drew another comic strip, "Dot & Other Dot v2.0". The characters spoke of weighty matters in wordy abstractions. Triangle attempted to write himself into the strip, but the characters refused to believe that he was their creator. Again, Triangle accused the Cartoonist of sabotage. / The Cartoonist explained that Triangle, unsatisfied with his own existence, was allowing Dot & Other Dot v2.0 to choose a different path, one in which they could escape their Cartoonist. He went on to explain that in his own existence he had no way of verifying the existence of a Cartoonist-like being or the purpose of his universe. / By manifesting these explicitly, he gave Triangle an opportunity to choose a different path than that he himself led. He was somewhat smug about the deftness of the narrative parallel. Triangle continued writing Dot & Other Dot v2.0, and Dot & Other Dot v2.0 decided to write a comic strip as a way of exploring their own notions of existence. Triangle found this worrying.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1464
Triangle and Robert #1465 In Triangle's comic, Dot & Other Dot v2.0 unveiled their comic, entitled Cartoonist Guy. The main character of this immediately went on to make a comic, entitled "The Beforings". This was puddogenesis. Through the actions of Triangle, their Chosen One, the Beforings came to be manifested within the Universe of Pudding. / Triangle found this worrying and asked the Cartoonist if he and Cartoonist Guy were one and the same. The Cartoonist answered that he was Cartoonist Guy no more than he was Triangle. Triangle found this frustrating yet inevitably true. He stopped drawing to find that they now had a dog, at least according to Robert. / A barking inverted capital G had followed Robert home from the library, which was on fire for seemingly non-plot-related reasons. They decided not to worry about the library and to keep the inverted capital G. Year One closed with the Beforings' acknowledgement of puddogenesis.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1465
 
Triangle and Robert #1466 Suspend all. / You're pausing the recap. / I think everyone needs a break from it before Year Two. You have a snack or something boring, the next few strips will be about the Sentries. / I'll make some / No you won't. Those are strictly an outdoor food. / Was the stench really that mu... oh, I remember now.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1466
Triangle and Robert #1467 Sentries, we need a headquarters. / How about your restaurant? / No. It was you barging into my kitchen for a dangerous experiment that led to this conclusion. If we are to experiment we must do so in a secure location. / The Sentries of the past never needed a headquarters! / Never before have the Sentries joined forces for more than the space of a brief battle. The world is smaller now, and if we do not organize ourselves we will always be in each others' way. In any event, my kitchen is not for Sentry business. Please.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1467
Triangle and Robert #1468 Such a decision should wait until all five of us are able to discuss it. / Agreed. But stay out of my kitchen anyway. / Linda... Ms. Concarne, I pondered the results of your experiment while I was battling with the results of your failure. The premise is sound, but an eel is inappropriate. Have you ever had starfish? What it lacks in flavor it may make up for in resilience. / How do I prepare starfish? / Any way you desire as long as it's not in my kitchen. I repeat myself because I feel it is necessary to do so.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1468
Triangle and Robert #1469 The matter of Orpuddex also bears discussion. He claims that his past deeds were based on a great misunderstanding and wishes to atone. He has already dismantled his Factory. / I don't believe him! / I have doubts as well, but his claims are consistent with what we know of the Beforings and of the Chosen One's calling. Perhaps some manner of trial or test is in order. / We can never trust him. / We barely trust each other, and that doesn't stop us. / A valid point. / If he's the Igneous Sentry, we might need him. Will you rescue Mr. Disease and myself if we're wrong? / Probably.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1469
Triangle and Robert #1470 The Dairy Sentry will be returned to us soon. I would not presume to take any action before then. Consider the issues which I have brought to your attention. / And stay out of his kitchen. / You were in there with us! / I'm a follower. / That is no excuse. Please do not suck up to me. I can still hear the eel.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1470
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 >>