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Triangle and Robert #1633 The Vegetable Sentry is attacking the potatomech. Aren't you going to help him? / Are you crazy? / You're going to help him. / It's your fault when we're all dead! / Bacon bits! Now! / I can't aim! I'm afraid! / Then don't aim, just sprinkle. Do it.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1633
Triangle and Robert #1634 We shut it down! All clear! / Your aim was good enough. Why did you freeze up? / I've fought giant robots. I've fought root vegetables. You know I'm no coward. But a robot powered by a root vegetable... / How's that special? / You're the Dairy Sentry. You haven't seen the shish kebab I've seen. / This is the first time you've shown fear of anything but yourself. It's so unlike you.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1634
Triangle and Robert #1635 What happened? Why was Linda slow with the bacon support? / She was terrified. / Ohhhhhh. I should have realized. / Realized? / Do you know about the Memphis Barbecue Massacre? / Only by name. / I think she was there. / It was going to be a great barbecue festival. I would have gone myself, but I was unable to due to some radish smugglers.... The Meat Sentry was there. There was this grill...
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1635
Triangle and Robert #1636 It was eight years ago. At the festival, a new type of automated grill was unveiled. The Meat Sentry before me was a guest of honor. / The grill was a robotic giant, capable of preparing hundreds of meats at once. In a freak lightning storm, it went haywire. / The Memphis Barbecue Massacre. / The Meat Sentry who was slain by the barbecuemech was your predecessor. The fact that you fight giant robots at all is commendable. Hesitance in battling one powered by a side dish is understandable. / Thank you.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1636
Triangle and Robert #1637 I don't think anyone was as close up to the killing as me and... survived... / Crying is not unacceptable, miss Concarne. / There's one thing... the thing wasn't just randomly flailing or misinterpreting polygons as ingredients.... / I didn't know anything about tactics at the time, but thinking back... the grilling machine... it was killing far too efficiently to be a glitch or chance. / Such a memory strikes me as unreliable and potentially imagined.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1637
 
Triangle and Robert #1638 I got lost in a self-intersecting corridor. What did I miss? / A giant potato-powered robot. Linda had flashbacks to Memphis. / The barbecue massacre? Linda was there? / Yes. She saw the Meat Sentry before her die because of a cooking robot. / I see. Would you agree that my crazy conspiracy theories are usually right? / Yes, but I'm just very agreeable in general.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1638
Triangle and Robert #1639 Miss Concarne... Meat... maybe this is something I shouldn't bring up, but the accident in Memphis... / It was no accident! / That's what I was going to say. What do you know? / All I know is that the robot was built to be capable of killing and was doing it too well to be accidental! / That's most of what I know. I think your predecessor Meat Sentry was its main target. I think the Meat Enforcers may have been responsible. / Sentries, assemble! We have an investigation to start!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1639
Triangle and Robert #1640 If the Memphis Barbecue Massacre was no accident, then a great injustice relating to cooking has been buried for too long. / I agree that such an injustice would have the potential to be the business of the Food Sentries. However, we have no genuine evidence that anything but a tragic freak accident is to blame. / I think I can get information out of the Meat Enforcers, if they have any. I'm going whether the rest of you do or not. / And I am.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1640
Triangle and Robert #1641 I will return to the Locust Garden. Enjoy your fruitless quest, fellow Sentries. / What? / Did any of you just see that? I'm following it. / Ah, the excessively mazelike part of town. Where this is heading seems clear.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1641
Triangle and Robert #1642 [[A sign reads "CONDEMNED HAUNTED PUDDING FACTORY"]] / Fear me! FEAR ME! I am Orpuddex, former guardian of what was once the Pudding Factory of the Dead! Why have you come to this... Oh, it's you. Hello, fellow Sentry. / And so you're back from outer space. / Yes. The bodies of the Chosen One and Less Chosen One have been returned to Earth. / Great! Where are they? / Good question. / What? / I believe that I lost track somewhere over Europe. FEAR ME!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1642
 
Triangle and Robert #1643 My entire body of pudding burned away in reentry. As to the location at which Triangle and Robert fell out, I am uncertain. / Bad. Not good. / Relative to the vast astral distances I traversed, a continent or two is a vanishingly small margin of error. / The search for Triangle and Robert will have to wait until the other Sentries give up on their hunt for a nonexistent murderer. / Elsewhere: / Talk! / Any machine capable of general meat processing is a machine capable of killing polygons. It is an elementary and easily proven theorem. We did nothing wrong.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1643
Triangle and Robert #1644 You created a killer robot! How can you deny responsibility for its killing? / We created an automated barbecue system. The fact that any such system can be used as a weapon is a simple fact, not our doing. / So you built it knowing that it could kill? / Yes. / Why did you go through with it? / Any sufficiently advanced tool can be turned to evil. Does this mean we should abandon all science? / Your type makes me sick! / It's just Arial Narrow 12-point. / That's not what I... YOU DIE NOW!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1644
Triangle and Robert #1645 Linda! No! I invoke a Border of Lettuce, which no power of Meat may cross uninvited. / So that's what those are for. / What you thought people ate them? / No, I knew that wasn't it. / Vegetable! Why are you defending this lowlife? / He's not making his case well, but I think I get what he's saying. Killing him wouldn't do any good, anyway. / It would make me happier!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1645
Triangle and Robert #1646 Okay! I won't kill the mad scientist! Now get rid of all this lettuce! I hate lettuce! / It is done. / I'm not mad. I'm in fear for my life. / Who's been threatening you? / You. / Oh, that! / So is this a good cop bad cop routine or are you just a really lousy team? / Shut up and give me your design notes!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1646
Triangle and Robert #1647 Miss Concarne... you've been going over that same page of data for hours. / It adds up! / To a conspiracy against the previous Meat Sentry? / No! To an unfortunate but unforeseeable accident! / I refuse to believe that she died of something so random and trivial as freak lightning! / Then what, someone AIMED the storm? / That is what I choose to believe!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1647
 
Triangle and Robert #1648 A weather-controlling mastermind who struck once, years ago, and hasn't resurfaced since. Also, who may not exist. / That's our suspect! / I just got up to date on the comic strip, and Orpuddex is back on Earth! Maybe we should help find Triangle and Robert's bodies for resurrection. / I want to follow up on this lightning control possibility! / If it's part of the plot, you'll find your villain sooner if you help us help the plot.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1648
Triangle and Robert #1649 The title characters have been missing from this comic for too long. Enjoy this previously untold story from the fairly recent past, which may not have even happened. / Wait! Read the manual first! / NEVER! / It's just a rowing machine, Robert. You won't get to get to have any crazy madcappery even without the manual. / That's not a wrench, that's a duck! I guess I didn't need to say that. It's pretty obvious.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1649
Triangle and Robert #1650 (flashback continues) / Robert, you know you shouldn't have a duck in here! If I say the plural of a duck I get unstuck in time! Or stuck in it! I end up in a tight irritating loop anyway! / You still have that space-time problem? We should try to fix that. Maybe this rowing machine will help if I assemble it creatively enough. / I don't feel like reverse-engineering the logic of that idea. / Robert, keep in mind that the main function of the device is to provide upper-body excercise. / What better way to do that than being filled with angry livestock? / We've done angry livestock before. / It's a staple. / We've stapled them before too.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1650
Triangle and Robert #1651 (needless flashback, day 3) / The flying machine is complete! / Rowing machine. / Flying rowing machine. / I'm not getting on that thing. / You don't get on it, you wear it. / At least you got rid of the animals and the rotating knives. / They got rid of each other.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1651
Triangle and Robert #1652 As built, the rowing machine will either not fly, fly briefly and crash, or violate aviation regulations. / Sounds like a win/win/win situation. / We can't afford to keep violating obscure yet vitally important ordinances! Do you have any idea how many counties have special bylaws just to prohibit us from ever coming back? / No. I think it's somewhere in the triple digits? / Get me a calculator and our case file. I'm curious about the exact number now. A good calculator, not the one with the burn marks!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1652
 
Triangle and Robert #1653 This can't be right. The cardinality of the set of counties we're banned from is greater than the cardinality of the set of counties. / I know this one! You cut a pigeon in half! / What? / Subtract the ones that banned us more than once. / I did that. It still doesn't match. / How are you counting Maryland? / Oh! Counties that no longer exist for reasons related to why they banned us! I forgot about those. It adds up now.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1653
Triangle and Robert #1654 So where exactly are we banned? Can you make a map? / No map needed. Between special bylaws, outstanding warrants, and that thing with the skier and the caltrops... / we're not allowed anywhere in the country that isn't this city, and also aren't allowed in the industrial part of this city, though I doubt they'll ever enforce that. / We can't be effective wacky scheme consultants if we can't go on location. There must be a standard solution to this type of problem. I'll do some research. / On the plus side, I think everyone's too afraid to extradite us.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1654
Triangle and Robert #1655 While you were engaged with an irrelevant flashback to the initial buildup before an insignificant incident, the other Sentries and I located and gathered the bodies of Triangle and Robert. / Okay. Should I do a quick flashback explaining how you found them? / No! / No, thank you. / All the pixels seem to be there, or close enough. Orpuddex, can you draw the souls from the void? Orpuddex isn't here. Where did he go?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1655
Triangle and Robert #1656 You're still in pretty bad shape, I guess. / Begone! Allow me to regain my power in loneliness and silence! / So you can't pull the souls of Triangle and Robert from the Zone of No Pudding? / Begone! / I'll take that as a yes you can't. / Brainstorm some resurrection methods. / How about the Fondue of / No! / No!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1656
Triangle and Robert #1657 I don't understand your issue with the Fondue. / That's because something is wrong with your MIND! / I know that. The Recipe is where my childhood memories should be. It wants to be made. Why can't we just make it? / Because the last time we tried making it was inordinately deadly! Even if Prozac had not gotten into the cheese, I'm not convinced the Fondue is anything but evil!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1657
 
Triangle and Robert #1658 Remember when I read a bunch of early Fantastic Four and Triangle and Robert ended up flying into cosmic rays? / Yes.... / Just to warn you, I've been reading a bunch of early X-Men. / That's okay, the general populace already hates and fears us for our unique abilities! / I think they just hate and fear you, Linda. / Yeah.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1658
Triangle and Robert #1659 I guess the Dragon Circles were a one-time item? / Apparently. / What if we used Orpuddex's door ourselves, without him? / Do you think he'd let us? / Why would you care if he lets us or not? / Good point! Let's do it!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1659
Triangle and Robert #1660 Orpuddex! / What? Why have you come here? / You're going to let me use your portal to the Zone of No Pudding! / Of course. You had but to ask. Do you understand the subtleties of its operation? / I'm not going to let that stop me! / No, something like that would not deter you.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1660
Triangle and Robert #1661 What's going on? / This isn't my body. / I think it's the Meat Sentry. / Triangle? Robert? / Hello, excuse me? / Can we get some kind of roll call? There are more spirits in my body than I was trying for! / This is Triangle. / I'm confused.... / This isn't my bus. / BRAINS! / Listen! This is Linda Concarne, Meat Sentry! I've pulled your spirits from the afterlife and you're all in my body! Remain calm and identify yourselves! / I'm Prozac the Bear!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1661
Triangle and Robert #1662 Orpuddex! Help! / Let's play with knives! / I think we were safer dead, Robert. / Don't worry, we'll be back there soon. / I'm still confused. / You invoked the Door without a proper vessel. Exactly how possessed are you right now? / I don't know! I keep hearing new ones and they aren't settling down for a roll call! / I'm Prozac the Bear! / The Prozac is within you. Understand that I do this for the good of the world! / Do what? / Er... be completely unable to kill you. Fear me?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1662
 

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