You're browsing the archives of Triangle and Robert.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Triangle and Robert #1663 Even if you could kill the Meat Sentry with Prozac the Bear inside her, it would accomplish nothing. Prozac is beyond life and death as you know them. He is mine, and I must deal with him. / I'll take door number e! / Euler's number, or the factorial thereof? / Transcendental numbers have factorials now? / Why not? I'm Prozac the Bear! / To slay my fellow Sentry would at least allow for a pleasant silence. But no. / The excessive wayward spirits must have a vessel. My Vats of Despair were such a vessel, but I destroyed them and regret it not. Another must be found.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1663
Triangle and Robert #1664 I am Linda Concarne! This is my body! It is not yours! / Who are you talking to? / I have an idea. / Triangle? / Orpuddex, bring us to the Tater Fizz bottling plant and push us through the non-orientable corridor. That should move all the spirits inside Linda's body to the outside. / We shouldn't go back there! / Why not? / There was a misunderstanding. I may have overreacted. / Is the bottling plant still standing? / Yes! That's how dangerous it is! / I am loath to mention this, but the Fondue of Four Thousand Cheeses may help.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1664
Triangle and Robert #1665 No fondue while Prozac the Bear is in the picture! / Cheese is fun! / I know of no other spirit vessel available. Let us attempt Triangle's topology idea. / You did already destroy the robot. It shouldn't be too dangerous. / ABout this vessel thing... / What? / What would just putting us out of Linda's body do with no vessel? / I can hold one. Linda can hold another. / What about everyone else in here? / I'm not worried about that! / I am! / Fear not, miscellaneous dead. Your journey to the afterlife will resume.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1665
Triangle and Robert #1666 I suppose it's decided! To the bottling plant! / I'm not moving. / It's not me. Who's in charge of moving? / What? / I'm still confused. / I didn't even eat the salmon mousse! / What? / What? / Monty Python reference. Only tangentially relevant. / And now for something completely different...
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1666
Triangle and Robert #1667 When an internet cartoonist makes a Monty Python reference, it usually means he or she has run out of ideas. / Yes. / And when you use Prozac the Bear, that means you've run out of ideas. / Yes. / So when Prozac the Bear makes a Python reference... / Shut up. / I shall push the immobile Meat Sentry to the site of topological perplexity. I should take but a few hours, which you will of course elide. / Eliding sounds painful. / Half an hour and a fortuitous taxicab ride later, the six Sentries are assembled outside the bottling plant. / Oh. Not too painful then,
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1667
 
Triangle and Robert #1668 You explicitly referred to Orpuddex as a Sentry. / I am a Sentry. / I could have been counting the Vegetable Sentry twice to account for fruits. / Oh, never mind. / The coast seems clear. The plan is just to push Linda into the topologically questionable corridor in full view? / We beat the robot. We'll be fine.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1668
Triangle and Robert #1669 Where am I? / We're in a hospital room. How are you feeling? / Confused! / When we drove the spirits from your body, you fell over and hurt yourself. You've been asleep for days, but they say you're healing now. / Where's Mr. Disease? / Trying to find us a new headquarters. / You look good, Linda. We were all worried. / Triangle? / Well, I had to go somewhere.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1669
Triangle and Robert #1670 Where am I? / We're in a hospital room. How are you feeling? / Undead. Got any brains? / Orpuddex has assured us that's a temporary side effect. Just ride it out. / I need some sort of food anyway. / You need to rest. / It's very easy to smuggle food into hospital rooms, you know. / I'll try to get you a file with a cake in it.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1670
Triangle and Robert #1671 Triangle... / This sounds bad. / We seem to have... / That ellipsis sounds really bad. / I take it Triangle won't be leaving my body yet. / We've lost his lower left vertex. / Lost it? / ...lost? / Weren't you keeping all of my parts in one place? / There were rats. / Can you fill in the gap between what you just said and the rest of this conversation? / There may have been nibbling.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1671
Triangle and Robert #1672 You're evading like Robert. Is Robert in there? / Robert in in his own body. He's doing well. / So... there "may have been nibbling"? / Just a little off one vertex. They're having trouble rejoining your edges. / I'm no doctor, but... uh... / They're trying. There must be some chance. / Can rats digest vertices, or would it have been... passed? / If so, it was incinerated. / Linda? / Linda? / Naturally.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1672
 
Triangle and Robert #1673 Where am I? / We're in a hospital room! How are you feeling? / Dismembered. / You might not want to look down in that case! / What do... you... Oh. / The pulsating green fluid keeps you from dying again! / I figured that out. Why is it in an inflatable wading pool? / We weren't sure what your insurance would cover! / What insurance? / Play along.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1673
Triangle and Robert #1674 You don't have health insurance? / Think about it. Who would be willing to insure someone who works with Robert? / Don't let the hospital know that! They'll probably stop treatment! / They wouldn't do that here. This is a pretty good hospital aside from the aforementioned rodents. / Actually, the rodents are really healthy too, and I'm pretty sure they don't have insurance. The doctors here take care of everyone. / I wouldn't trust them! / I know you wouldn't.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1674
Triangle and Robert #1675 So... about my vertex... / They're hoping it can grow back! / Hoping? / I want to talk to someone less paranoid. Or a doctor. / Oh, fine! / Are you getting someone else to come in here? Linda? Miss Concarne? Someone?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1675
Triangle and Robert #1676 You know that thing characters do where they angrily describe everything bad that's happened to them in the current arc, ostensibly to vent frustration but really just to provide a recap? / Yeah, that's a pretty useful device. / I'm too sedated to remember how all this started. Can you give me a jump? / Well, first your flight to meet the Cornersheep in Aruba got diverted by interference due to the MSG entity moving most of itself to Antarctica. / Wow, that was a long time ago. / Yes, but don't ask me how long. I haven't been tracking strip time well. / Weeks? Months? Years? / Yeah, maybe one of those things. / I'm tempted to mention waterfowl just to screw you up further.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1676
Triangle and Robert #1677 So the plane makes an emergency landing in Antarctica, and instead of staying on the plane and waiting for repairs we ended up having to leave because Robert stole the liquor cart instead of explaining the situation and asking for it! / So we're in Antarctica with no protection from the elements, trying to get to the main MSG deposit so I can use the liquor as incendiary fuel to sculpt the MSG into a... None of this really made sense at the time, but now that I look back it's just a solid mass of confusing idiocy! What were we thinking? / Hypothermia was responsible for some of it. / Oh, yes! Hypothermia! So we could barely move when we got snowed on! And then we rubbed speech lines together to make fire... and things just kept happening!
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1677
 
Triangle and Robert #1678 So we make it to where the MSG gathered, and just to make things more interesting it turns out that it's all actually underground. By this point we're so frostbitten I've started to think Robert is having good ideas. / Robert came up with a revolutionary new mining technique which I don't even want to think about, and we somehow made it to the MSG. My plan was to start sculpting it into the framework of a rocket. Then, I thought, we could stand back and let the MSG fill in the structure itself and be able to launch itself off Earth. / Of course, the MSG entity managed to be a vast, nearly omnipotent idiot and finished the rocket with us inside. Since the rocket was only supposed to carry its own body, there was no way out, and by the time we managed to explain this it was in space. Does this sound like a good time to you? Does it?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1678
Triangle and Robert #1679 Where was I? / Angry. / At? / Bad timing by sentient monosodium glutamate. / Ohhh, yes. Having ruined any chance of our possibly breathing, the MSG drew our consciousnesses into its own to keep us alive. The Robert came up with a typically rhomboid plan and had the MSG let him go. As planned, he died instantly. / Somehow, that nearly made sense at the time. I guess he was going to do something clever in the afterlife that didn't pan out. I think that brings us to Orpuddex getting involved. What was he thinking? That wasn't rhetorical. I need it explained.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1679
Triangle and Robert #1680 Orpuddex just had to get involved. Maybe if he'd known what he was doing I'd be more grateful. He launched himself into space in pursuit of the MSG to bring me and Robert's body back. Very noble, presumably. / Then the MSG tells me Orpuddex was carrying a sick amount of tapioca in his fuel mixture. Since the idea that he'd have managed to launch without ever bothering to taste his own pudding was patently ludicrous, I made the obvious deduction that he was trying to atone for his various misdeeds by committing messy suicide. / And that's where my own stupidity gets piled onto the growing mass of other stupidity. I had the MSG entity eject my (consequently dead) body and Robert's from the rocket towards Orpuddex, so that he could actually rescue us instead of just smearing himself across space in a Chosen One-related and thus potentially fatal manner.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1680
Triangle and Robert #1681 I can't remember what happened in the afterlife. That's your fault, I remember that much about it. / You learned a lot of things there, including things I haven't decided yet. / Me paying for your incompetence is a central theme of this comic. / Anyway, Robert and I got brought back from the dead somehow, and we went into what seemed to be a poorly-planned All of Me homage before getting put back into our bodies. Or in my case, most of my body. / My left vertex was eaten by rats. That's just not fair. When is this going to end? / Vertices do grow back, don't they?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1681
Triangle and Robert #1682 Yes, my vertex will grow back, thanks to advanced medicine and luck. That's not the point. The point is, what else can go wrong? / You really shouldn't have asked that. / You... wouldn't... dare. / I can't think of anything right now, actually. It's just generally bad practice to tempt me. / There should be a nurse or something in here to check on me by now. / There should be, yes.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1682
 
Triangle and Robert #1683 Meat Sentry? / Yeah? / Weren't you going to tell the nurses that Triangle's awake? / Not really! / You need to learn a valuable lesson in responsibility. / So you're giving me a subplot? / No. You're too minor a character and don't deserve a subplot. Go learn a valuable lesson in responsibility on your own time. And get a nurse first.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1683
Triangle and Robert #1684 Hi there. / You're not sounding very evil. / I'll probably go back to plotting my revenge against you or the revival of the Fourth Race or something sooner or later, but I've been in a good mood recently. / What have you been up to, aside from the thing I've left out of the strip so I can make a dramatic revelation later?
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1684
Triangle and Robert #1685 The hallucinations are coming further apart now. / Are they all... / No. They're more varied now. / Do you think that the one meant anything? / Yes, but I have no idea what and it could have been wrong about it anyway. / May I ask what you're talking about? / Nothing important.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1685
Triangle and Robert #1686 Just now, the Cartoonist asked the Cornersheep: / What have you been up to, aside from the thing I've left out of the strip so I can make a dramatic revelation later? / Well, that's been it, really. With the RDCLBA archive up there's a lot to be done. / And of course, something will go tragically wrong and give you a reason to go back to supervillainy. / Probably, but I'm not going to hurry it.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1686
Triangle and Robert #1687 Hello, Tri... I shouldn't stare. / It's not really as bad as it looks. / It looks like you're missing an entire vertex and they're trying to grow it back with some kind of green ooze. / Yes, but it's not really as bad as it sounds. / Really, it's the fact that they have me in an inflatable wading pool that hurts the most. Science belongs in big imposing vats. / They could have picked a more imposing wading pool, even.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1687
 
Triangle and Robert #1688 This whole ordeal's been sort of inconsistent. Why the big deal about our bodies this time, when dead-raising didn't need them before? / And how did Linda pull spirits through the door, when you'd previously gone throught it without encountering any? / I wasn't looking for them, and the afterlife wasn't backlogged. / I guess that's a good if retroactive explanation. The bodily resurrection rules need cleaning up, though. / It's magic. Figuring out the rules kills them.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1688
Triangle and Robert #1689 Have read the strips from when we were dead? / I haven't had a chance. Should I? / We left some clues for ourselves when the Cartoonist told us we wouldn't remember the things we'd learned. / That's going to get convoluted. How bad are the clues? / Not particularly cryptic, unless there's a secret message hidden in the clear one. / If so, we'd have picked a code we know and the Cartoonist doesn't... so all we'd need to do is look at it between strips.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1689
Triangle and Robert #1690 I think that rules out the steganographic hypothesis. / I wonder if my line was important or a random aside. / I'd guess both. / The panel in question, just for the audience: / One: Puddans. Not much like Prozac described. Two: made of unstructured meat. Three: Poetry. Not room to explain that. Transition from One to Two is an important story which won't fit. Memo to selves: research that story. Implications for MSG. / I should learn to cook. / What sort of cooking do you think I'd be good at? / Room-temperature non-magical. / Heh, I guess I am pretty bad around fire.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1690
Triangle and Robert #1691 "Transition from One to Two..." / Nothing about where to start looking. / It could be Cube's department. / Speaking of Cube, we never did get to the Cornersheep. / How is that speaking of Cube? / Right, you haven't followed the strip. / Whatever the Cornersheep's been up to, it involves the RDCLBA data. Add that to Cube recently starting to work with serious high-tech, and it stands to reason that they've been collaborating.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1691
Triangle and Robert #1692 Do you remember the time you stalked Terry Gilliam because you were convinced he was responsible for the gathering MSG? / Of course! / I still have the bronzed restraining order! / My point is, you tend to jump to conclusions. We can't be sure Cube's allied himself with the Cornersheep. / We don't have to be sure. We're in the title. / Call Cube. I'd like to talk to him anyway.
http://tr.froup.com/tr.pl?1692
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140
141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 >>