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She Was All, ?Can You Recommend a Book on BEING WICKED SMART AND SEXY?? And I Was All, ?Yipe!? [[Reginald runs in, wearing glasses.]] / Reginald: Beartato!! The coolest thing happened! / [[Reginald gestures. Beartato watches.]] / Reginald: I was at the library, making copies, and a girl came up and asked me a question! And she wasn't sarcastic! She genuinely thought I was the kind of guy who knows things! / Beartato: Wow! / [[Reginald takes off his glasses and shows them to Beartato.]] / Reginald: These glasses are the best thing that's ever happened to me! / Beartato: I'm happy for you! / [["BUT SECRETLY:" Zooms in on Beartato.]] / Beartato (thinking): I wish I had those glasses instead of him! / {{Alt text: She Was All, ?Can You Recommend a Book on BEING WICKED SMART AND SEXY?? And I Was All, ?Yipe!?}}
Okay, You Caught Me. I Just Cut Circles out of a Sandwich Bag. Beartato: Reginald, what happened to your glasses? / Reginald: Well Beartato, I dropped them in the toilet. / Reginald: But! I got contacts! I may need help putting them in. / [[He holds a large round lens]] / [[Holding it like a frisbee]] / Reginald: Hey Beartato, go long! / Beartato: Okay! / [[He throws the frisbee but a small dog leaps out and catches it]]
Okay, You Caught Me. I Just Cut Circles out of a Sandwich Bag. Beartato: Reginald, what happened to your glasses? / Reginald: Well Beartato, I dropped them in the toilet. / Reginald: But! I got contacts! I may need help putting them in. / [[He holds a large round lens]] / [[Holding it like a frisbee]] / Reginald: Hey Beartato, go long! / Beartato: Okay! / [[He throws the frisbee but a small dog leaps out and catches it]]
Nedroid Picture Diary Reginald: Ugh. This orange is terrible. It's got no flavor. I'm going to kill myself. / Beartato: What?! / Reginald: Oh, sorry, Beartato. I have a condition where I respond inappropriately to situations. / Beartato: Oh. I didn't know. But I'm glad you told me. Now I can be a better friend to you. / [[Reginald smashed the orange in Beartato's face.]] / [[Reginald pushes Beartato off a cliff.]] / [[Reginald jumps off the cliff.]]
Does He Want It To Rain [[Beartato is in his room, dancing in his briefs. A musical note sounds from his headphones.]] / [[Beartato continues to dance, in the background. Reginald watches him through his windowsill.]] / [[Reginald continues watching.]] / Reginald: What is Beartato doing / [[Reginald continues watching.]] / Reginald: Beartato what are you doing / [[Reginald continues watching, now far in the background. Beartato rocks out in the foreground.]] / Reginald: Beartato / [[Reginald is shown from outside, peering in through Beartato's window.]] / Reginald: You are hurting my feelings / [[Reginald leaves, walking through the forest.]] / Reginald: Why would he be moving his body rhythmically to music / [[Reginald snaps his fingers in recognition.]] / Reginald: Maybe that's what cool people do! / [["SOON": Reginald sits on the ground, starting a boombox.]] / <> / [[Reginald stands. A single musical note emerges from the boombox.]] / [[Reginald continues to stand. Two musical notes emerge.]] / [[Reginald continues to stand, now shaking slightly. A musical pair of notes emerges.]] / [[Reginald continues shaking.]] / Boombox: un-der da sea / [[Reginald continues shaking.]] / Boombox: un-der da seeeea / [[Reginald continues shaking.]] / Boombox: darling it's better / [[Reginald continues shaking.]] / Boombox: down where it's wetter / Reginald: Now I get it
We Go All-Out for TACO NIGHT Reginald: Please pass me the salsa, Beartaco. / Beartato: What? / [[A pause.]] / Reginald: What? / Beartato: Did you call me "Beartaco"? / Reginald: What? No! / Reginald: Did I? / [[A pause.]] / Reginald: How embarrassing
 
Horses Weekly: When You Want to Read About Horses, Every Week. Reginald: Beartato, I'm bored. / {{Beartato is reading "Horse" magazine.}} / Reginald: Let me read your magazine. / Beartato: No. / Reginald: What-- / Reginald: Fine then, you can't read MY magazine. / Beartato: You don't HAVE a magazine. / Reginald: Yes I do! / Beartato: So go read it. / Reginald: I will! It's called Beartato is stupid and it's GREAT. / {{Beartato is alone, reading still.}} / Reginald {{out of frame}}: Ha ha ha! What a great magazine this is! / Reginald: Whoaaa this article is WAY entertaining! / Reginald: Hey, a free cologne sample! Oh this smells SO GOOD. / Reginald: I sure am enjoying this magazine! Yes sir! / Reginald: Oh, hey Beartato. / [[Reginald is reading "Beartato is Stupid" magazine.]]
Followup Letter: Don't Worry About It, Beartato. It Fell Off. [[A big banner at the top proclaims "ASK BEARTATO"]] / [[Beartato reads a letter and looks at a picture.]] / Beartato: "Dear Beartato, does this look infected to you? -Andy" / Beartato: YIKES. / [[Beartato turns towards the reader.]] / Beartato: Well, Andy, I'm not a doctor. But I did see a movie about doctors once. / [[Reginald enters the scene.]] / Beartato: It was called Doctor Dad and it was about a single father who has to balance his family life and his medical practice. / Reginald: It's a prescription for heartwarmingness. / [[Reginald punches the air.]] / Beartato: Join us next time when we review Kickpuncher 2: The Fightening. / Reginald: It's a prescription... for awesome.
a class="searchlink" href="http://nedroid.com/2008/08/17/">http://nedroid.com/2008/08/17/ [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Bad With Computers REGINALD: Beartato help / REGINALD [holding an unplugged computer]: I can't figure out computer / REGINALD: Like, where do I put the bread (? ? ?) / BEARTATO [shrugging]: I don't know / BEARTATO: Did you try just jamming it in there? / REGINALD: Of course / REGINALD: Now it's full of chipmunks / CHIPMUNKS [from inside computer]: Chitter Chitter / REGINALD: I even tried putting money in. Nothing. / REGINALD: I'm going to write a letter to the editor. / NARRATOR: But soon / REGINALD [with a pen in his eye]: Beartato I can't figure out pen
What Gives You the Right! [[Reginald approaches Beartato, who is gardening.]] / Reginald: Hey, Beartato! / [[Beartato swings around with garden trowel in hand, his face carrying a devilishly handsome visage.]] / Beartato: Hello, Reginald. / Reginald: Beartato! / Reginald: Why are you making such a cool face?! / [[Reginald reaches out a hand emptily.]] / Reginald: You gotta stop this. / Reginald: On the one hand, I feel lucky to even know you right now. / Reginald: But I also feel really inadequate. / [[Reginald begins to turn around.]] / Reginald: I have to go lie down. / [[Reginald leaves.]] / [[Beartato sits, still holding his look.]] / [[Reginald returns on his knees, begging.]] / Reginald: Beartato you have to tell me your secret.
 
Stop Primanding Me and Mow the Yard <> / [[Reginald sits on a lawn recliner, drinking a fancy beverage.]] / [[Beartato wades in a neighboring pool.]] / Reginald: Ahhh, that's freshing! / / [[Beartato leans up against the pool's edge.]] / Beartato: Freshing? You mean Refreshing. / Reginald: Oh, Beartato. Sweet, naive Beartato. / [[Reginald stands.]] / Reginald: That was my first sip! I wasn't freshed before, so how could I be refreshed? / Beartato: That's diculous!
Unprankable Reginald: Care for a stick of gum? / [[Reginald offers gum to Beartato.]] / Beartato: Sure! / [[Beartato eats the gum, an expression of disgust on his face.]] / Reginald: Ha ha! It's garlic gum! A masterful prank indeed! / Beartato: You got me, Reginald. / Beartato: Or should I say... Loki? / [[Reginald is surprised.]] / [[His expression turns to anger.]] / [[Reginald begins to transform into Loki.]] / [[Loki appears, a balding man with a handsome mustache and giant "L" embroidered on his sweater.]] / Loki: Well played. / {{Title text: You will make a fine nemesis, indeed.}}
Good Deeds are Rewarded with Supernatural Abilities [[Reginald approaches Beartato, emanating a yellow-orange glow.]] / Reginald: Hello Beartato. Notice anything? / Beartato: Oh! / Reginald: I finally got a fearsome aura! Probably because I helped an old lady at the market. / Beartato: I'm jealous! / Reginald: It's so cool! It can do so many things! / Reginald: See you later! / [[Reginald's aura sprouts helicopter blades and carries him off as he sits calmly.]] / [[Reginald's aura picks up a jar of pickles from the top of a cupboard for him.]] / [[It then allows him to walk above a crowded city sidewalk.]] / [[The aura flicks on the television for Reginald.]] / Narrative: But power comes with a price. / [[Reginald is laying in a messy bed at night, eyes wide open.]] / Reginald: Why's it gotta be so bright? / {{Title text: I wanted something in purple, but I guess orange goes with my bathroom set}}
I even got the hard-to-reach spots Beartato: Reginald, look! I got an aura too! / Reginald: Very nice! / Beartato: Thanks! / Beartato: It's mostly house paint and tinsel, but it gets the idea across. / Reginald: I just figured out how to decorate my den! / {{title text: Ask your local Home Depot to mix you up a gallon of Beartato's Aura Blue. I can predict what they will say.}}
No Help at ALL Reginald: I need a haircut. / Reginald: Maybe Beartato will cut it. / Reginald: But he's got stubby hands. Not dexterous at all! / Reginald: What if he slips up? / Reginald: I'd better do it myself. / SOON / Reginald: Ohhhh nuts. / Reginald: Maybe Beartato will drive me to the hospital. / Reginald: But his car is not cool. What if girls see me in it? / Reginald: I"d better drive myself. / SOON / [[underwater]] / Reginald: Oh nuts! / Reginald: Maybe Beartato will rescue me. / Reginald: Yeah right! / Reginald: Typical! / [[Beartato is writing a sign that says "Happy birthday Reginald"]] / Reginald: THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP! / {{And Beartato never watched The Ring again.}}
 
What Happened? I Blacked Out for a Second [[Reginald rushes up to Beartato.]] / Reginald: Beartato! It's Funny Faces Contest Time!! / Beartato: hooray! / [[Reginald bears his lower teeth, despite being a bird.]] / [[Beartato presses his cheeks together and pokes out his tongue.]] / [[Reginald spreads his beak unnaturally wide, flailing his tongue about wildly.]] / [[Beartato leaves his mouth agape and pulls down the tabs of his ears.]] / [[Reginald bends his entire head out of dimension as if picking up a pancake from its sides.]] / [[Beartato exposes his front teeth over his jaw, closed mouth, and wags his ears.]] / [[Reginald's face assumes the full likeness of a handsome, rigid man, all the features fleshed out clearly.]] / [[Beartato raises his hands slightly in shock, his defeat masked far below his confusion.]]
No, YOU Send ME a Photo First Reginald: Beartato, I'm exhausted! I was up all night talking to girls on the internet. / Beartato: Me too! / Reginald: But we were having a great time! We talked about movies, scuba diving, hats... / Beartato: Yeah, so did we! / Reginald: Actually, you two would probably get along great. She shares a lot of your interests! / Beartato: Huh. / Reginald: But I've got dibs. / SUPERHOTTIE: whoa you like porkpie hats too?????? / BEART8O: Yeah / SUPERHOTTIE: we should hang out / {{Alt text: Whoa, you have a goofy best friend who is always doing nutty things? ME TOO!}}
This is What I Choose to Believe [[Reginald is riding a terrifying reindeer-thing (Lucky Day).]] / Reginald: Ahoy, Melinda! / Reginald: You'll be pleased to know I have deemed you worthy of my attention, and it is agreeable to me that we dine tonight at Fancytowne. / Melinda: Forget it! You're so haughty! / [[Reginald beams.]] Reginald: She thinks I'm a hottie! / {{Longtime readers may remember Fancytown. Fancytowne is a different place.}}
Easily Amused [[Reginald is at his computer]] Reginald: click / Reginald: Beartato hasn't updated his website in ages. / Reginald: What an outrage! / [[Reginald approaches Beartato]] Reginald: Beartato! / [[Reginald lies on the floor next to an upside-down Beartato]] Reginald: Entertain me. / Beartato: honk! / [[Reginald stares ahead, his mouth open]] / Reginald: That's why you're the master, Beartato
Excuse Me, Sir. You Dropped These Rhymes. [[Reginald and Beartato are lying on the side of a hill.]] / Reginald: Beartato. / Reginald: Give me a fresh beat. / [[Beartato puts his hands in front of his mouth and begins beatboxing.]] / Beartato: phhhbt fshfsh wicky wicky / [[Reginald begins to strike funky fresh poses.]] / Reginald: I'm the rapmaster ain't nobody faster on the streets with my beats gonna be a disaster / Beartato: Chow chow chicky chow / Reginald: Your rhymes are WEAK my rhymes are UNIQUE settle down sad clown gonna get a SNEAK PEEK / Beartato: PHOOM psh psh PHOOM PHOOM / [[Reginald's word bubble is obscured by Beartato's word bubble]] / Reginald: I'm gonna drop MAD RHYMES ALL THE TIME gonna / Beartato: BUDDDA BUDDDA BOW BOW WICKY WICKY WOW WOW / Reginald: uh- / Beartato: CHIKA CHIKA CHOW BUDDDA BPHHT WOW WOW / Reginald: Beartato / [[Beartato looks startled.]] / Beartato: Wh-- What happened? I blacked out for a minute. / Reginald: Beartato, that beat was WAY too fresh. / Reginald: You were channeling level ten beats... at LEAST. / Reginald: We have to get you to a doctor. On the way, help me think of a word that rhymes with "handsome."
 
Bananamanarama! [[Beartato is handing Reginald a present.]] / Beartato: Happy birthday Reginald / Reginald: Oh Beartato! You shouldn't have! / Reginald: But I am glad you did. / [[Reginald has opened the present, revealing some sort of miniature banana person.]] / Reginald: *gasp* / Reginald: Bananaman? / Reginald: WHAAAA / [[Reginald leaps into the air.]] / Reginald: WOWEE! / [[Reginald hugs Beartato.]] / Reginald: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthanky / [[Reginald does a backflip and bounces off the wall.]] / Reginald: Wahoo! / Beartato: Do you like it
Fool for Hats Reginald: Beartato... what's the biggest hat you've ever worn? / Beartato: Its brim was wide as Saturn's rings, and all the people of hte world could fit inside and be happy. / Reginald: Oh. That's way better than mine. / Reginald: ha ha / {{title text: My answer would be 'medium'}}
Fool for Math Reginald: Beartato...what's the highest number you can think of? / Beartato: Nine million bagillion. / Reginald: Oh. That's way better than mine. / Reginald: {{Thinking}} 19.
Fool for Math Reginald: Beartato...what's the highest number you can think of? / Beartato: Nine million bagillion. / Reginald: Oh. That's way better than mine. / Reginald: {{Thinking}} 19.
Well, Let?s Go Get Ice Cream Instead. [[Reginald and Beartato talking]] / Reginald: Beartato! / Reginald: I need to go to my happy place. Come with me! / [[Beartato and Reginald prance through field of flowers]] / [[Beartato and Reginald row through the ocean on a boat]] / [[Beartato and Reginald fly on a hot air balloon]] / [[Reginald climbs a mountain, dragging Beartato behind him]] / [[Beartato and Reginald fly on a magic carpet]] / [[Beartato and Reginald go scuba diving]] / [[Reginald rides a horse as Beartato falls off]] / [[Beartato and Reginald arrive at grocery store]] / Reginald: Oh yeah. They closed it down. / Reginald: I forgot. / {{alt text: In my happy place, ice cream sandwiches are exceedingly cheap. I'm talking like, three for a dollar.}}
Well, Let?s Go Get Ice Cream Instead. [[Reginald and Beartato talking]] / Reginald: Beartato! / Reginald: I need to go to my happy place. Come with me! / [[Beartato and Reginald prance through field of flowers]] / [[Beartato and Reginald row through the ocean on a boat]] / [[Beartato and Reginald fly on a hot air balloon]] / [[Reginald climbs a mountain, dragging Beartato behind him]] / [[Beartato and Reginald fly on a magic carpet]] / [[Beartato and Reginald go scuba diving]] / [[Reginald rides a horse as Beartato falls off]] / [[Beartato and Reginald arrive at grocery store]] / Reginald: Oh yeah. They closed it down. / Reginald: I forgot. / {{alt text: In my happy place, ice cream sandwiches are exceedingly cheap. I'm talking like, three for a dollar.}}
You See How the Thing You Said is Silly [[Janey stands in winter clothes before Reginald.]] / Janey: So you're a great guy and all... / Janey: But I think we should just be friends, okay? / Reginald: But... I already have a friend. / [[Reginald gestures to Beartato beside him.]] / Beartato: Hi Janey. / Reginald: Why on earth would I need two? / {{I mean, I would have to keep track of TWO birthdays. You are asking a lot from me.}}
 
Pictures for Sad Beartatoes Reginald: hey beartato / Reginald: i know you are sad because all your friends are dead and it's your fault / Reginald: so i drew some pictures to cheer you up / Reginald: here is a boat / Reginald: this one is a kitty / Reginald: i forgot what this is / Reginald: here is one of all your friends / [[Reginald looks down at the picture. Beartato has his hands to his mouth in shock.]] / Reginald: remember them? / Reginald: from when they are alive? / Reginald: i do
Pictures for Sad Beartatoes Reginald: hey beartato / Reginald: i know you are sad because all your friends are dead and it's your fault / Reginald: so i drew some pictures to cheer you up / Reginald: here is a boat / Reginald: this one is a kitty / Reginald: i forgot what this is / Reginald: here is one of all your friends / [[Reginald looks down at the picture. Beartato has his hands to his mouth in shock.]] / Reginald: remember them? / Reginald: from when they are alive? / Reginald: i do
The Third Most Awkward Halloween in Recent Memory [[Beartato is drawing on some paper. Reginald peeks in.]] / Reginald: Hey Beartato: What are you going to be for Halloween? / [[Beartato smiles.]] / Beartato: I'll give you a hint: I'm going as my BEST FRIEND! / [[Reginald replies.]] / Reginald: What a coincidence! Me too! / [["HALLOWEEN:" Beartato is wearing a fake beak and bird-leg pants. He looks angry. Reginald stands next to him, wearing Harrison's space suit.]]
Just Showing Off Duckling 1: Reginald!! / Duckling 1: Check it out! I'm Wizard-man! / Duckling 2: I'm Cyber Ghost! / Duckling 3: I'm a gun! / Reginald: Ah! That's... awesome? / Reginald: So what do you want? / Duckling 1: Can we have some candy? / Reginald: Oh, right! It's Halloween. / Ducklings: It is? / {{title text: Reginald is the kind of guy who will give them pencils.}}
Nedroid Picture Diary [[Reginald and Beartato have had a bumper cars crash.]] / Reginald: I cannot believe you ran into me! You are so careless! / [[Close up on Beartato looking sheepish.]] / Beartato: I'm sorry! You were in my blind spot! / [[Reginald shakes his fist angrily at Beartato.]] / Reginald: Well you are in my angry spot / {{Title Text: Why did you bump me... with your car}}
Don?t Do the Crime if you are Mildly Annoyed by Doing the Time Reginald: Hey! How was prison today? / Beartato: Awful! / Beartato: They ran out of Salisbury steak at lunch so I had to have LOBSTER. / Beartato: Plus I messed up a license plate so I had to stay late. / Beartato: And look at this tattoo a gang made me get! / Beartato: I am NOT looking forward to going back tomorrow. / Reginald: Just call in sick like I did!
 

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