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| Implants and Toupees | I read that In Tokyo they sell toupees for dogs.
/ Very fashion conscious the Japanese. Slippery slope though. / Well. First it's toupees for dogs, slippers for cats and lipstick for the Golfish? / Next it's breast implants and liposuction.
/ Breast implants for dogs? / Yes. Well. Bitches that is.
/ Bitches... http://futtock.co.uk/bitches-with-breast-implants/ |
| Clever Trooper | Hello Wally. What is the square root of 501?
/ Why are you talking to a glass of water, Sid?
/ Clever stuff, Sir. The brain is made up of 80% water. / 80%? That would be an average, Sid. In your case I am sure your brain has an higher than average H2O content.
/ Thanks, Sarge! / You drank Wally! http://futtock.co.uk/clever-trooper/ |
| Flame War | Oh my god? I mean OMG. This internet is fascinating.
/ Yes My Lord, but the rebel fleet have massed and we await your orders to strike. / Yes, yes. What is STFU?
/ *Wader tells him* / It would seem that you have entered into a flame war. It is common for young men to do battle in such ways. They can?t... http://futtock.co.uk/flame-war/ |
| Lost and Found | Have you found him? / I sent the fleet to the furthest corners of the galaxy. I hired the best bounty hunters and bribed the hutts. We have scoured the known universe. We left no stone unturned even sending probes into the Maw.
/ Well? / Boobifat the bounty found him behind the bathtub.
/ Ooh. Lord ... http://futtock.co.uk/lost-and-found/ |
| Pushing Your Luck | Lets say I?m Darf Wader and you?re a pretty young maiden. All I would have to do is click my fingers and you would be my biatch. / Lets say I?m a nasty Trooper sergeant, and you are a lowly trooper corporal. All I would have to do is hit you hard enough on the helmet and you would look like a dick?s... http://futtock.co.uk/pushing-your-luck/ |
| Stormtrooper Invention | Sarge! You know the other day on Tenlin 4 when I really needed to go but being stuck on guard in the middle of nowhere I had to wait.
/ Wait? By the smell of you, you went in your whities. / No! I told you. I trod in something. Anyway, I have invented something to take with us next time.
/ Oh yes?
/ The... http://futtock.co.uk/stormtrooper-invention/ |
| Stormtroopers Nightmare | Sarge, you know that nightmare you sometimes have of going to work without any trousers on? / Not now Sid, Lord Vader is coming. Stand to attention and be quiet! / AHEM. http://futtock.co.uk/stormtroopers-nightmare/ |
| The Early Bird | The early bird gets the worm. / But the late rat gets the cheese. http://futtock.co.uk/the-early-bird/ |
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