You're browsing the archives of Hyper Death Babies.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Anomaly - The OTHER White Meat [[And now, its time to read some letters from...]] / [[Thomas's Male Sack!]] / Hiya folks! Today's randomly violated letter is to George Evans, from an anonymous source. / Dear Georgie, / Here is the random human remains you requested. While we do not wish to know what you intend to do with these grotesque...
The Charles Era - Coffee I like my coffee like i like my women. eighty years old, dead, and cut up into tiny little peices... hahaha! never mind. that's not like coffee at all.
Anomaly - An Early Look at Abortion [[1943]] / Damn Krauts! We're barely pushing them back! Keep firing the anti-aircraft, men! / With God as my witness, I won't see America fail this day! Democracy has come too far to recede into the dreams of men! / For America! / Stork: Hahaha! Golly gee willikers, it's cloudy out today!
The Charles Era - Bedtime bedtime... / good night, moon. / good night, teddy. / good night, lamp. / good night, monster. / *click* / monster? / *click* / lamp attack! / high five! / good one, Larry.
Anomaly - Da Vinci's Return Again Why did the black man go to court? / To systematically and legally dispute his property taxation with his neighbor, who also happens to be a race of minority decent. / Did you shit yourself?
The Charles Era - Leaves where'd all the leaves on the trees in my yard go? / my friend Larry ate em'. he's a koala bear. / you threw the weed eater again, didn't you? / yes.
Anomaly - Ill Sam: Well, Hank. I've got good news and I've got bad news. / Hank: Um. Okay. What's the good ne- / Sam: The bad news is that your grandmother is dead. / Hank: Oh... Oh my god! / Sam: The good news is that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance! / Sam: And its a good thing too, because her...
The Charles Era - Idiots look at us, Charles! we're cool! / If i had a nickel for every time i encountered a psuedo-intellectual, i would have about three nickels.
Anomaly - PSA: Global Warming Kennedy Rose: Hi, I'm Kennedy Rose, the writer of Anomaly. Normally its tacky for the writer to appear in his own comic strip, but today I'd like to draw attention to a very serious problem in America today. Its called "global warming." / Kennedy Rose: You may have already heard about global warming....
The Charles Era - Woodchuck hey mom? / yes, honey? / how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? / oh! i love these riddles! let's see... / a woodchuck would chuck no wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood. / it's not a riddle, mom. / Tommy got murdered by a woodchuck who said i was next. / it's...
 
Anomaly - Birthday Gigs So, Buppo, what do you think of the crowd? / I can't STAND doing shows in these houses. / Why's that, Buppo? / BECAUSE THEY'RE MADE OUT OF WOOD! / HAHAHAHA
The Charles Era - Puppets Puppets don't like candy because they can't poop.
Anomaly - Intuition I have no choice but to let you go, Hank. / What? Why? / I'm deeply offended by your monthly report. / Mr. Willington eats his own poop. / WHAT? I didn't write that! Someone OBVIOUSLY wrote that on my report! / Hmm, that is exactly what the report SAID you'd say. / Hank wrote this.
The Charles Era - Baseball hey, remember that time i hit you in the back with a baseball bat? / wasn't that funny? / no.
Anomaly - The Latest from NASA Houston, I'm picking up a strange scent in this space suit. / Hmm? Oh, that. That's just the hidden air tank we installed in your suit. / Oh, uh... what's it do? / You see, we all filled up this tank with our own farts and your suit periodically releases them into your oxygen source. / My God! Is it dangerous? / Yes,...
The Charles Era - Squirrels When i'm in a bad situation, i just ask myself... what would Jesus do? i just replace the word "Jesus" with "squirrels," and the word "do" with "eat"... that rash may still be there, but god damn, are these nuts good.
Anomaly - Astrolusion Lance, we're going to need some data on the surface. / Affirmative. It seems brittle, but chalky. Doesn't seem to kick up too much- / FSSSHHHHH / Uh... Okay, Houston? I just had this flash where I was just a crazy man sitting in a chair pretending he was a spaceman. / That? Oh... we, uh... built that...
The Charles Era - Fruit Drawing I used to draw animals and fruit. now i just draw animals in fruit costumes. a clear sign of my mastery in the drawing arts.
Anomaly - Calling in Sick: Method #17 Hey, Wilson. I'm sorry but I can't come in to work today. I'm feeling really sick. / Oh, really? What do you have? / I'm not sure exactly. But it should be the same thing your wife has. / Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that... / Oh, and can you tell your daughter I'll see her in twenty minutes? / Sure thing! / Oh,...
The Charles Era - Battle Pants i have just invented the greatest thing since pants! / what is it, doctor? / Battle Pants! / Battle Pants? / they are pants... that do battle. observe. / amazing, doctor! your achivements shine in this material world. / and i am a material girl. / you're fired.
 
Anomaly - Superglue: for Kids! This is a little song I composed myself with only one chord... / Sinatra! Play some Sinatra! / Very good, sir. Here's Sinatra's "My Way" played using only one chord. / This message brought to you by Superglue for kids! / Sticks to: / - Pianos / - Faces / - The homeless / - Everything that isn't glue. / Our...
Monster Apparently monsters don't like it when you call them fat.
Anomaly - Meet Justin Worst Pickup Lines Ever / Hey, baby. Do you have a beard on your pussy? / Ew! No! / Do you want one? / Mommy, I'm scared! / Don't worry honey, the police will be here any minute.
The Charles Era - Poop POOP! / poop? / POOP! / POOP!
Anomaly - Two Reasons Baby, I'm only here tonight for two reasons: Stickin' my dick in your pussy and chewing bubble gum... / and I'm all out of bubble gum. / Would you like some of mine? / Why yes, thank you. That would be absolutely delightful.
The Charles Era - Hungry Hungry Hippos I always hated playing the game Hungry Hungry Hippos with my little brother because he'd always cheat and actually eat the marbles himself. so one day i got sick of it and replaced the marbles with art poison. and everything went according to plan... the hippos turned into rats and we all murdered my...
Anomaly - A Look at a Common Misdiagnosis My god, it all makes perfect sense now! / The lack of blood... The temperature... / Son, you're gonna be just fine. It isn't cancer after all. / You're just a toaster.
The Charles Era - Robot Pants Robot Pants, how will modern technology expand in the future? / *kick!* / oh, i get it! you're saying that it is self-defeating to desire more than what nature gives us. / *crack!* / so you're saying that through understanding of ourselves we no longer need technological developments? / *stomp!* / *stomp!* / *stomp!* / Robot...
Anomaly - Greatest Hits For the Blind! Anomaly's Greatest Hits For the Blind! / [[braille]]
The Charles Era - Life's Mysteries It comes to me that in recent events i have too much time to ponder on life's mysteries. i wonder if the only way we can make a better future is by destroying our fellow man. i wonder if eternal knowledge would be worth the pain of knowing the horrid secrets of life. i wonder if the repair man is going...
 
Anomaly - Lisa, Mona Lisa What's the difference between a woman and a walrus? / A woman isn't a large semi-aquatic mammal that lives in the cold Arctic seas of the Northern Hemisphere. / Usually.
The Charles Era - Fruit Magic check this out, Thomas. i can turn into a pineapple! / grrrr... hrrrrrr! / pineapple! / oh yeah? well, i can turn into an orange. / orrraaannnge... / *crunch!* *crunch!* / *gulp!* / Moral of the story: don't turn into fruit while hanging out in Old Man Lester's cabinet.
Anomaly - The Most Sacred Knowledge Oh, great magic ball! What is the greatest thing that will ever exist? / {{Samuel L. Jackson}} / Okay... what is the greatest thing that will NEVER exist? / {{Wolverine L. Jackson}}
The Charles Era - Ant People If there's one thing i've learned in life, it's that peanuts and ant-people just don't get along. / bastard.
Anomaly - The Truth About Paper Okay, gentlemen! I've called this meeting to figure out what to do with all these papers! / Burn 'em! / Eat 'em! / Have sex with 'em! / No, gentlemen, we need to do something far more profitable... / We could... make... paper out of them? / GENIUS! / MAGNIFICENT! / STUPIDLY BRILLIANT! / No one will ever...
The Charles Era - Plastic Hair why does your hair look like plastic? / why does your hair look like stupid? / why are we having this conversation? / probably because Charles ran out of ideas for comics. / later that day, at the chicken race... / moooo.
Anomaly - The Most Offensive Comic Ever Hank, this is the most offensive cartoon I have ever seen in my life! / Sir, that's not a cartoon. Its a proposal for the new mammogram instructional pamphlet. / What? Why would any woman do this to themselves? / Because... they have breast cancer. / Well why the hell did they even bother getting breast...
The Charles Era - Slugs All the slugs in the hosue raise your hands like you just don't care. and then get out of my house. i don't need anymore slime on the couch.
Anomaly - Ventroliquist Awards So, Buppo, what'd you think of this years Ventroliquist Awards? / I still can't understand why we didn't win. / We disqualified, remember? The "Baby-Catapult Massacre of 2006"? / As much as I'd love to take credit for that idea, I think the United Nations is recording my every word.
The Charles Era - Worm Love dance with me, clark! / i love you, Betty! / oh! i love you too, Clark! / let's make love, Betty! disgusting worm love! / oh, Clark! / be friends with a worm today... / mmmm! / ... they're lonely.
 
Anomaly - Cartoonist Robot Yes, that's it! Finally my plans for a comic-writing robot are finished! / I'll never have to make another comic again! I'll live like a king! / A king! / [[comic robot blueprints]] / {{blender}} / [[Robot, comics, flux capacitor, sum buttons]] / [[Note: I am going on vacation next week and I really...
The Charles Era - Horse Penis A horse with a large talliwhacker is really just an anatomically dyslexic unicorn. / cencored
Anomaly - Of God and Ladies Father? Do women find chest hair sexy? / I have found that today's women only go for dudes with chests as smooth as a baby's ass. / I'm surprised! I always pegged you for a hairy kinda' guy. / Hell no! God is all about the ladies! What kind of guy do you take me for? / {{David Hasslehoff}}
The Charles Era - Wings no wings / wings suck
Anomaly - Historical Oddities [[The Most Awesome Picture Ever. 1916.]] / Okay, then. Get that llama in position! / CHECK! / Do the cannibals still have on their muzzles? / YES! / Slap that manitee. I want movement! / OKAY! / Keep Abraham Lincoln's corpse propped up! / DONE! / Everyone ready? / OH, FUCK! NO ONE TOLD IT WAS A REAL LIGHTSABER! / <> / This...
The Charles Era - Battery Today i learned that you should never put a nine volt battery up your butt. / there's no joke. i just wanted to tell everyone that.
Anomaly - Botox Jenkins! Did you remember to schedule my Botox appointment? / Of course, sir! / [[2 months later...]] / Jenkins! Botox worked so great, I think I'll go back for some cosmetic surgery! / I'd highly recommend it, master!
The Charles Era - Prayer bedtime... / dear God... please help mommy and daddy stop fighting... / and help Pastor John out with his drinking problem... / and i could use an "A" on my math test... amen. / dear Billy... / uh... / shut the hell up. amen. / dear God... no. you. / dear Billy... don't be a poopy-faced dumb head. / dear...
Anomaly - Child Molestation and You Hi, I'm Tony Szaso, pro baseball player. And I'm here to talk about the dangers of child molestation. / When molesting a child, try to avoid binding them with tape. Children have very sharp teeth that can easily chew through duct tape gags... / Uh, Tony? You're on the air to talk about how to AVOID...
The Charles Era - Maxi Pad Just because Maxi Pads have wings, that doesn't mean they can fly.
 
Anomaly - Zombie What is it, doctor? Can you fix me? / No, you've been zombified. You'll travel the world a rotting mutant, eating the flesh of the living you so despise. / I only pray that the entire world is not consumed by this cursed disease. / Uh... I just have an anal wart. / Oh, right. Then you've just got ass...
The Charles Era - Six why is six afraid of seven? / because seven eight nine! / it was terrible! the room was decorated with organs! / he strung their brains with muscle tissue before eating them! / don't let him find me! please hide me from seven! / ever hear the one about the chicken that crosses the road?
Anomaly - Death to Michael The poison must be working through his system by now! / Fuck, this guy is annoying. I can't wait to see him die! / No one will ever suspect it was ALL THREE OF US! / How do you guys do that thought bubble thingy? It's so cool!
The Charles Era - Mnemonics A mnemonic is a phrase that helps you remember important information. the one i've found most useful in the course of my life is "YAGKAS." say it out loud boys and girls so you won't forget it. it stands for, "Yes, all Grape Kings are scary." / GRAAAAAH!
Anomaly - Wormhole Sacks [[And now, its time to read some letters from...]] / [[Thomas's Male Sack!]] / Hey, kids! Thomas the Mailman here, illegally reading your mail like usual. Now for today's letter... / Thomas! I'm you from the future! I have sent you this letter through time to warn you about reading other people's mail!...
The Charles Era - Greatest Comic Hyper Death Babies presents... / THE MOST ULTIMATEST COMIC EVER!!! / a comic of epic proportions... / tales of adventure and mystery... / ... and i accidently lost the script to that story. so instead... / do llamas have tails? / because that was supposed to be a llama... / ... of epic proportions...
Anomaly - Ted Haggard Hey. What's a sexy man like you doing in a place like this? / I'm here for the National Evangelical Christian Convention. / Oh... so you're not here to get your asshole pounded? / I never said that.
The Charles Era - Sex Sometimes i hesitate when my friends ask me if i had sex with their girlfriend. Because ever since I was 12, I thought "sex" meant "to masturbate profusely while looking at someone's picture." / entire action cencored.
Anomaly - A Glorious Gift Father, I have spoken to the people and they have but one single question. / I will answer it. but it will be the only question i will ever answer! / Out of all questions ever, the people of Earth want to know... / How much hypersensitive plutonium lattice is too much hypersensitive plutonium latti...
The Charles Era - Time Machine all-knowing Dragon, will you teach me how to travel back in time? / no... i mean yes... my body can act as a time machine for you to use. / climb in my butt / okay. / umm... all i see is poop. / oh... sorry. did i say butt? / because i meant to say time machine. / hmmm.... / yeah. time machine...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 >>