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| Anomaly - Rocket Science | Sam, if you shot a bullet into space, would it just keep going until it hit a star or something?
/ I don't know. I don't think you can really shoot bullets in space. The vacuum- / No, no. But, you know. Hypathetically, if you could shoot bullets into space.
/ I don't know. I suppose so. / So what would happen if you replaced space with your bed, the bullet with my penis, and the star with your wife's anus.
/ Hahaha. Jeeze, Hank, I never did understand your silly little science questions! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=31 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Galactic Villainy: Part 4 | Admiral Kennedy: Haha! I have you now, President! / Admiral Kennedy: And for your planet's resistance, I shall now show you what it means to defy Admiral Kennedy.
/ < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=31 |
| 50's Apocalypse - The Cure for AIDS: Part I | Wilson: Mr. Cox, I have good news and I have bad news. / Wilson: The bad news is that I have AIDS. / Wilson: The good news is that I raped you in your sleep and you have it too. / Wilson: NOW WE CAN BE LIKE AIDS BUDDIES, COX! AIDS BUDDIES FOREVER! / Wilson: HAHAHA! Cox! You shot the AIDS out of my body! Sweet! Now you're going to die alone! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=31 |
| The Charles Era - Missiles | you are ugly, you stupid head! / i can explode you with my eye missiles. / eye missiles are just a myth, dummy! / EYE MISSILES ACTIVATE!! / BOOM! / those were eye rockets, not eye missiles, you dumb-head. / dang it! i knew it was too good to be true. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=31 |
| The Panel Project - Ziggy: Quackery | ... HE'S a very frustrating patient ... NOW he's hooked on placebos! / Oh, wait, that was heroin. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=panelproject&comic=31 |
| Anomaly - Fun With Real Estate | ... And you guys are certain you'd like to build your home yourselves?
/ Absolutely! We've had this planned for years! / Oh, honey! Its so BEAUTIFUL! There's even room for the kids! / [[duck]]
/ shit. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=32 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Galactic Villainy: Part 5 | Kennedy: Damnit, John. This whole destroying the earth thing is more complicated than I thought it would be. / John: Well why do we HAVE to destroy the earth? / Kennedy: What? Hahaha. Why do we have to destroy the earth? Jesus, John. I'll tell you why we have to destroy the earth... / Kennedy: Tom Cruise. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=32 |
| 50's Apocalypse - The Cure for AIDS: Part II | Wilson: Cox?
/ Mr. Cox: What?
/ Wilson: Are you still mad at me for giving you my AIDS?
/ Mr. Cox: Yes. / Wilson: ..... / Wilson: How about now? / Wilson: Wait! Before you shoot me, I have something to show you... / Wilson: It's my Cox Has AIDS Dance! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=32 |
| The Charles Era - Office | hey, Neil.
/ would you rather be cut up, or just chomped down on?
/ uh... what?
/ Ever have one of those days at the office where everyone looks like carrots? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=32 |
| The Panel Project - The Family Circus: Magic Bananas | Bananas are magic! Yesterday they were green and today they're yellow! / You think that's magic, kid? Get a condom and I'll show you a disapearing act! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=panelproject&comic=32 |
| Anomaly - Dolphin Love | Baby, I'm gonna love you like a dolphin!
/ Hah hah! How's that? / I'm gonna dress up like a cowboy, rub french dressing on your tits, and fuck you up the ass with a curling iron.
/ OH MY GOD! What does that have to do with dolphins? / [[creepy grin]] http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=33 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Illegal Downloading | Kennedy: Hey, Internet. How do you feel about illegal downloading?
/ Internet: LOL... / Internet: ... Well actually, while it's bad for the current American economy, I feel it is good for modifying our current ecomonic structure to suit the needs of rapidly advancing technology. It forces multiple industries to rething the way their product is sold. It may possibly bring all cultures of the world into one large self sustaining gift economy. / Kennedy: Wow. Despite what most people think about you, you're strangly insightful, internet. / Internet: LOL. Here, have some goat porn. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=33 |
| 50's Apocalypse - The Cure for AIDS: Part III | Wilson: Don't worry, Cox... / Wilson: I read that AIDS isn't really as harmful as they say it-OH MY GOD!...
/ < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=33 |
| The Charles Era - Cow Tipping | so what're you doing tonight? / i might go cow-tipping with my mom. / really? i heard it's impossible to tip a cow. / im... impossible, you say? / why're you looking at me like that? / later...
/ behold! impenetrable robot-cow, armada! / watch as they graze upon your entrails! you! baby! / go ahead! tip them, i daaaaare you! / huh? / even later...
/ so how'd the cow-tipping go last night? / it went okay. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=33 |
| The Panel Project - Family Circus: Pilgrims | "The Pilgrims wore black and white because that was their football team's colors." / What are YOUR team's colors, Jeffy? GAY and FAG?
/ "Hah! The joke's on you, Cindy! I'll have you know that those aren't even real colors!" http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=panelproject&comic=33 |
| Anomaly - Social Intolerance | Hey, Martha, how many gay penguin chefs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? / Hey, guys! / Oh, Jesus fuck! He's staring at us, isn't he! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=34 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Cox and Bear | Open Mic Night
/ [[for Bears only]]
/ Mr. Cox: Okay, so these two lawyers walk into a Catholic church and... / Mr. Cox: Hey, what's this blood doing here? / Crowd: HAHAHAHA! / Mr. Cox: Wow. What a great crowd. I haven't even gotten to the- / Mr. Cox: Nooooo!
/ Bear: GRAAARR!! / < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=34 |
| 50's Apocalypse - The Camel, The Squirrel, and The Man Fucking a Corpse: Part I | Barry: So, let me get this straight... You're a cursed human turned acorn turned squirrel-riding-camel and you were warped through to this dimension and into my TV. / Camel: Mmmyep. / Barry: And... You're sure you're not porn? / Camel: Pretty sure. / Barry: How about now? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=34 |
| The Charles Era - The Letter N | hey, man. / why is 'N' the coolest letter in the alphabet? / it's just so asymmetrical and aesthetically pleasing. / in fact, i don't think i love any other letters except for 'N.' / i hate you, Sam! you're so mean to me! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=34 |
| Anomaly - Brought to you by: The Anti-Racism Association | How many penguins does it take to change a lightbulb?
/ One, and then two thousand huddle around it rubbing their fins together! / [[bloody penguin]] / [[headless woman]] http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=35 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Affirmative Action | Cow: Haha! Affirmative action, bitch! Now you've gotta hire me! / Mr. Cox: I'm sorry, Cow, but affirmative action only means that I'm required to hire minority humans, not cows. / stare / Later...
/ [[Cow wearing an afro wig.]]
/ Mr. Cox: No. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=35 |
| 50's Apocalpyse - The Camel, The Squirrel, and The Man Fucking a Corpse: Part II | Camel: Glad we got out of that place, Squirrel. But this dimension is really freaking me out... / Camel: It seems like all anyone is interested in doing is pulling out their talliwhackers. / Camel: Oh... uh. Hey there. How are y-
/ Wilson: NYAHHHH! NO TALK! BUSY!! / Camel: Man. Something's really got him going http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=35 |
| The Charles Era - Hitler | hey, man. fake Hitler mustaches aren't cool! / huh? / don't play stupid. it's not a joke! / actually, it is... / someone put poo over my mouth. / wow, i'm sorry, man. / it's okay. it is a handicap i must live with. / you brave little soldier. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=35 |
| Anomaly - Foreign Sacks | And now, its time to read some letters from... THOMAS'S MALE SACK! / Hello there, youngsters! today we have an exciting letter from Ben Jdey!
/ Let's just give this unsuspecting man's mail a little tear here, and... / You can not stop us. This letter has anthrax. Death to America. Allah is great. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=36 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Internet Cartooning | Kennedy: Hey, internet. Can you write a comic for friday? I'm going to be on another top secret government mission.
/ Internet: Hell no! Comics on the internet suck ass! / Kennedy: Not all of them do. Some of them are actually very fine examples of sequential art! / [[hyperdeathbabies.com shows up the in background.]]
/ Internet: Yeah right. Look at this shitty piece of shit I just found today.
/ Kennedy: Umm... Internet, that's my website... / Internet: Kennedy! Look! That's exactly what's happening right now!
/ Kennedy: Wow. Check that out! I score with two babes by panel seven! / Kennedy: Wait, no... no, that's just a laser. / < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=36 |
| 50's Apocalypse - The Camel, The Squirrel, and The Man Fucking a Corpse: Part III | [[Heaven...]]
/ Mr. Cox: Crap, no! I can't believe he's doing that to my corpse! / Wilson: Ohhh, yeahhh. Yesss. / Mr. Cox: Well, at least my eyes are still intact. / Camel: It can't possibly be sanitary to do that to his eye sockets. / Mr. Cox: God damn it!
/ God: No. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=36 |
| The Charles Era - Rocks | hm .. a rock. / shine! / oh no! it's Satan! / hahaha! i am your master now! / oh no! Hell! / nooo! i hate forks! / ... and birds! / ahhh! this thing is too scary for me!
/ you're mean. / POOF! / i am God. / mmm. you're squishy. / thanks. i'm giving you a second chance on earth. / AHHHH! / THUD! / whew. that was crazy! / i collect rocks!
/ shine! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=36 |
| Anomaly - New Hat | Kip: Hey, Buppo, is that a new hat? / [[Claw comes out of top hat]] / Buppo: No. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=37 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Internet's Guest Comic | God_71: hay, what did Mary say to Joseph?
/ JesusH: LOL wat?
/ God_71: "God, I hope you dont get me pregnant."
/ JesusH: ROFL. i don't get it???
/ God_71: whatev. hay, about those ppl that don't like you. you should get nailed to a cross for them.
/ JesusH: =( http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=37 |
| Meet God | Mr. Cox: God?... Did you just fart?
/ God: Nnno. No. / Mr. Cox: Yeah, you did. That's disgusting. / God: Don't you ever read the bible? "Ye who smelt it, dealt it."
/ Mr. Cox: That isn't in the bible. / God: Oh really? Guess who's gettin gthe dog shit slapped out of them in a second? / Mr. Cox: God?
/ God: Yes?
/ Mr. Cox: I fucking hate you. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=37 |
| The Charles Era - Surgery | hello, James. how are you? / hello, Ms. Berry. i just got surgery and it hurts. / i'm sorry to hear that. are you okay? / no. i poop raisens now.
/ hmm... / later...
/ why James, these are delicious! / this has been a very uncomfortable day. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=37 |
| Anomaly - Who Needs Wal-Mart? | Master William, I could just change the light bulbs in the chandelier if you'd like. / Nonsense, Jenkins! I won't have any servants on ladders in this mansion! / Daddy? Can I come down now? This rope is really starting to hurt my ankles.
/ No, sweetheart, you just keep holding that flashlight steady for daddy! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=38 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Top Secret Mission | Kennedy: I gotta play it safe. I'm pretty sure he sees me. If I make one false move, he could pull a gun on me. Screw the govenment for assigning me this suicide mission. One of us isn't leaving this room alive... I gotta try something... Think, man. Think! Your life depends on it! / [[Kennedy's staring at a rabbit.]]
/ Kennedy: Well hey there, little fella'. / Kennedy: The old stare down trick. What a cold, calculating bitch! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=38 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Memories | Camel: I'm really sorry about Mr. Cox's death. You must have had many memories with him. / Wilson: Are you still mad at me for giving you AIDS? / Wilson: I built him... out of peices of your dead five year old son that I just cut up. / Wilson: I just pissed on your right pant leg. / Wilson: Nah. That guy was a total dick. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=38 |
| The Charles Era - Guns | can you do me a favor and shoot me in the head? / what? no! why would i do that? / do what? / shoot you in the head. / why would you do something like that? / because you asked me to. / what? what'd i say? / will you shoot me in the head? / okay. / BAM! / wait, what'd i say? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=38 |
| Anomaly - How to Draw | See how easy it is Step by Step! / STEP 1: Don’t look at the figures above. they’ll probably just confuse you more, you stupid idiot.
/ STEP 2: Get a pen and give it to someone who can actually draw.
/ STEP 3: kill your friend with the pen and drink blood from his wounds.
/ STEP 4: You now have gained all of your dead artist friend’s skills.
/ STEP 5: Use your newfound voodoo powers for evil... And maybe drawing, I guess. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=39 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - I Am Fishing | Mr. Cox: What'cha doing?
/ Kennedy: Fishing. / Mr. Cox: But there isn't any water around here. / [[Fishing line dangling down the side of panel.]]
/ Mr. Cox: Hey, a Dorito! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=39 |
| 50's Apocalypse - The Invasion Begins | Adam: Zerphlag! It is finally 1950! Do you know what that means? / Zerphlag: Yes... no... Yes?
/ Adam: It means it's time for our domination over mankind! It's time to start... / Adam: the 50's Apocal- / Adam: Okay, seriously, Zerphlag. Get that thing out of my mouth. / Adam: Congratulations. You and your dick just ruined the climax of the entire series.
/ Zerphlag: Sorry. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=39 |
| Metal | After i see metal bands live, i get crazy and always want to go outside and spit on little babies but when i get outside, i remember there is mostly just old people in my neighborhood. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=39 |
| Anomaly - Cancer | How bad is it, Doc? / Let me put it this way... Do you remember that movie with Queen Latifah where she thought she was going to die, but turned out fine? / Whew! Hahaha. What a relief. / Well imagine if she got ball cancer and died in the end of the movie. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=40 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Cow Xing | Internet: Hey, Cow! Why did the cow cross the road? / Internet: To MOOOOve to the other side! LOL! / Cow: That was stupid and racist. / < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=40 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Preparation! | Adam: Now that we are soon to take over the earth, we need to see how the humans fare in battle! / Adam: Zerphlag! Prepare your teleportation to earth to test the humans!
/ Zerphlag: You got it. / Zerphlag: I'm not too sure about this, boss. They are the fiercest warriors I have ever seen! / Zerphlag: Hey, man... Sweet! Is that Love Boat?
/ Barry: Yeah. Rerun. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=40 |
| The Charles Era - Pooping | man. i really hate pooping. / aw, don't worry about it, man! / just read random pages of philosophy books while you're going to the bathroom. / wow. does that actually make pooping fun? / absolutely. why, just yesterday i learned all about why all societies fail at some point in history. / and the day before that, i learned about making our universe into a large metaphor using a completely rational logic by way of existentialism. / it was burrito night. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=40 |
| Anomaly - Because I Can | Shower Man: Qual piuma al vento, Muta d'accento e di pensiero! / [[[stare]]] / Shower Man: Who the hell are you? / Creepy Guy: Drinks water...
/ [[drinks water]] http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=41 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Zombie Killer 5 | Zombie Killer 5
/ New Game
/ Load Game
/ Options / [[Playing video game.]]
/ < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=41 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Invasion! | TV: Psychiatrists have finally found that the cure for homosexuality is- / < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=41 |
| Death | Before i die, i am going to yell, "hey, is that a plastic dinosaur head rapidly hurtling towards the general direction of my face?" that way, whenever people ask what my last words were, they will laugh very hard. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=41 |
| Anomaly - Help, Its a Space Monster! | Lance, do you see any alien life on the surface?
/ No, Housten, but I haven't- / Hola amigo. Spare some dinero? / Housten, I think I just shit my space pants. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=42 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Fun Stuff! | Fun Stuff!
/ Kennedy: Today on Fun Stuff, I'm going to teach you how to short circuit a robot with pure logic. / Kennedy: Hey, Robot! If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, what color is it? / Kennedy: Wait, no... That's not how it goes... / Internet: Hah! Was your puny human logic supposed to confuse me into short circuiting? When will you mammals learn we- / [[A tree falls on the robot.]]
/ < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=42 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Urination! | Zerphlag: Enough talk! It's time to die. / Barry: Hah! That's what you think. What you don't know is that I'm secretly... / Barry: MIRACLE MAN! / Barry: And now that I can use my super powers, I can run away and pee my pants like a little girl... / Barry: ... WITH THE STRENGTH OF TWENTY MEN!! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=42 |
| The Charles Era - Dragon | Psychic Dragon! / yes, young one? / i have a question about my future. / i know many t hings. you may ask. / where do you see me ten years from now? / i see you will be very successful lawyer with a beautiful wife. / wow, you can tell all that? but your'e just a dragon! / i sometimes have a hard time surpressing my primal urges but i promise your future... / hang on a second. / where'd he go? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=42 |
| Anomaly - Harry Mansaq | Heeeey, baby! What's a girl like you doing in a place like this. / I'm a man. / What a coincidence! So am I!
/ We should fuck. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=43 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Affirmative Action 2 | Mr. Cox: Kennedy! Did you finish the plans for the gymnasium clients?
/ Kennedy: Yes, sir. All done early!
/ Mr. Cox: Good, because you're fired. / Kennedy: All righty. / Kennedy: Wait, what?
/ Mr. Cox: The state passed a new law saying we need even more racial diversity, so we hired this cow with an afro. / Kennedy: This is ridiculous!
/ Mr. Cox: I know. It doesn't even look like his real hair. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=43 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Camel Biology Lesson | Zerphlag: WILSON WIMBERTON! YOU SHALL BE THE FIRST TO DIE IN MY INVASI- / Zerphlag: hey, what the fuck are you?
/ Camel: I am a squirrel-mounted camel.
/ Zerphlag: Interesting... / Zerphlag: SQUIRREL-MOUNTED CAMEL! YOU SHALL BE THE FIRST TO DIE IN M-hey do your humps actually store water? / Camel: Well, currently they just store nuts for my pal here. / Zerphlag: ... can... can I have some? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=43 |
| The Charles Era - Computer Support | hello. this is the computer tech support line. / hello? yes? i've got a situation here. / how may i help you, sir? / i'm getting an error message every time i try to type. / have you tried rebooting it? / yes. i have done that twice now. AHH! / what's the matter? / it's squirting red stuff everywhere! / hmm... it kind of tastes good too. / sir, are you trying to type on a ketchup packet and not your computer? / wow. you're a genius! thank you, so much! / no problem. it's just my job. / click / hmm... how the hell did he reboot a ketchup packet? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=43 |
| Anomaly - Ambiguously Fizzy | Hello, sir. I am calling to inform you that you have just won a lifetime supply of Mr. Fizz!
/ Golly jeepers! That's swell! I've never heard of it. What's in it? / Its mostly just water mixed with monkey piss.
/ ... There's no sugar in it, right? / Um... Right, but there is the monkey piss.
/ That's fine. I'm diabetic. I was just worried about the sugar. / Alright, sir. I was just fucking with you. This is a prank
/ That's fine. But do I still get my monkey piss? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=44 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - Post-Work Angst | Kennedy: Shit, Leonardo! What the hell am I going to do?
/ Leonardo da Vinci: Well first you should calm down. / Kennedy: You're right... You're absolutely right... / Kennedy: I JUST LOST MY JOB TO A COW WITH AN AFRO! / Mr. Cox: ...And over here we keep a stockpile of toner for the copying machine. / [[red eyes]]
/ Kennedy: That fucker is probably telling him all about my toner right now. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=44 |
| 50's Apocalypse - First Blood | Wilson: NO ALIEN WILL INVADE EARTH WHILE I'M AR- / Zerphlag: MY-PENIS-IN-YOUR-FACE-ATTACK! / < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=44 |
| Koalas | hey, Jim. what is your favorite kind of koala? / probably a hamster. / would you like a top hat? / no thanks. i've got one right here. / Jim! that's a grenade, not a top hat! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=44 |
| Anomaly - Snugworth the Jolly Piggy Bank! | [[Man inserting coin into piggy bank]] / [[Nude woman]] / [[Smashed piggy bank]] http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=45 |
| How I Became a Cartoonist - More Unfunny Jokes with Mona Lisa | More Unfunny Jokes with Mona Lisa / Mona Lisa: Why didn't the chicken cross the road? / Mona Lisa: Because he was waiting for the crossing guard to safely wave him over. / Mona Lisa: Fuck, I am so funny, I think I just shit my pants. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=cartoonist&comic=45 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Glory and Splendor | Mr. Cox: God?
/ God: Yes, my child? / Mr. Cox: What the hell's happening on earth? There's an alien trying to kill everyone down there! / God: Mr. Cox, if I answered every single prayer about an alien trying to kill everyone, I'd... / God: OH FUCK! IS THAT HIM? I THINK I JUST SHIT MYSELF! / God: I CAN'T STOP SHITTING! IT'S LIKE A WATERFALL, BUT WITH SHIT! IF SHIT WERE HOUSES, WE'D BE IN SHITVILLE! ... ZIP CODE: SHIT! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=45 |
| The Charles Era - Stanly's Despair: Part 1 | Julie broke up with me! can you believe it? / why do you think she did that? / i love you, Stanly! / KICK! / there can only be one highlander! / no idea. maybe she's a lesbian. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=45 |
| Anomaly - Inadequate Sales Report | Wilson: Look, Cox, I'm sorry. But we're going to have to let you go.
/ Wilson: A picture of Pac-Man just won't do for a sales report. / Mr. Cox: That's a pie chart. / [[Looks at paper]] / Wilson: YOU'RE a pie chart. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=46 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Heroes: Part I | Wilson: Miracle Man! I'm stuck here floating in space! You have to help me! / Miracle Man: Fuck off.
/ Wilson: I still know your secret identity, BARRY. / Miracle Man: TO EARTH! ... AND CANCEL THAT FUCK OFF! / Wilson: Hey, this isn't earth! / Miracle Man: Shit, you're right! I'd better get home. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=46 |
| The Charles Era - Stanly's Despair: Part 2 | i'm sorry to hear that, Stanly. / yeah. me too. / but you know what they say...
/ no. what's that? / "There's always more fish in the sea that will cheat on you with your best friend." http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=46 |
| Anomaly - Just Leave a Memo Next Time | Mr. Cox: Look, if you're going to fire me, just get it over with.
/ Wilson: I'm not going to fire you.
/ Wilson: I just called you in to tell you that sometimes I like to wear a space helmet and make blastoff noises.
/ Mr. Cox: Okay. Why did you need to tell me that?
/ Wilson: To get you ready for what I needto tell you next... / [[space helmet]]
/ Wilson: PSSSHHHHH! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=47 |
| Heroes: Part II | Mr. Cox: What the fuck are you? Why aren't I dead? / Camel: I am a squirrel-mounted-camel. Aliens invaded heaven. I used my level 4 Resurrection spell to get you out of there. / Mr. Cox: That makes perfect sense if not for the fact that it doesn't at all. / Mr. Cox: It's almost as if we're in a comic strip and the writer just really really sucks. / Both: ALMOST! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=47 |
| The Charles Era - Stanly's Despair: Part 3 | i heard about your girlfriend breaking up with you. / but don't worry. i got her back good earlier. / what'd you do? / i gave her some tacos. / how is that bad? she loves tacos. / i pooped in them. / earlier...
/ hi Julie! would you like some tacos? / i pooped in them just for you. / wow! thanks, Marc! i love poop tacos. do me now! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=47 |
| Anomaly - Fifties Wiretapping | Wilson: I mostly just called you up to congratulate you on all that crack you sold me last night.
/ Mr. Cox: What crack? I never sold you any crack! / Wilson: But you could say you did. Right?
/ Mr. Cox: I've never done crack in my life! ... Um, who's that guy in the corner? / Wilson: What guy? That guy? That's just Larry. He's my, uh... daughter.
/ Mr. Cox: He's probably not even listening to this conversation, are you sweetheart? / [[Man with camera]]
/ Larry: No. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=48 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Heroes: Part III | Wilson: Who are you?
/ Adam: I am Adam. / Wilson: What are you doing on the moon?
/ Adam: I am overseeing earth's invasion. / Adam: We shall crush all humans like bugs! The only way we can be defeated is if they discover our secret weakness, semen. / Wilson: Semen, you say?
/ Adam: Yup! / Wilson: Adam?
/ Adam: What?
/ Wilson: Do you have an anus by any chance? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=48 |
| The Charles Era - Band Names | should we be grossed out? i can't tell.
/ I am starting a band called, "Mizz Factory." whenever we play, we will shoot buckets of mizz out in the audience. and it will be gross, because no one knows what exactly mizz is. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=48 |
| Anomaly - Puppeteer Power | Take my wife... PLEASE!
/ HAHAHAHA! / Jesus, Buppo, is that blood in your mouth?
/ Awesome, isn't it? I just got it installed today. / [[spray]]
/ < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=49 |
| Questing Sucks | God: Squirrel-Mounted-Camel!
/ Camel: God? / God: For tampering in black magic, you must now face your punishment! / Camel: Hahaha! What could possibly be worse than being a camel? / Camel: Fuck. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=49 |
| The Charles Era - Wild Wild West | hey, partner. there ain't room in this town for the both of us. / c'mon, sheriff! why're you always breathin' down my neck like this? / showdown at noon, righty. be there. / bull crap! i bet you just lost it to testicular cancer or something. / no way, man. my sheriff testical is ruthless. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=49 |
| Anomaly - Diary of a Madman | April 15, 1954 - I fear for the safety of my dear husband James and our two children. Today I felt the frays of sanity unravel in the back of my mind as I held the knife up to my husband's throat in his sleep. / Honey, did you write on the fucking wall again?! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=50 |
| 50's Apocalypse - Epilogue | Mr. Cox: Wilson! What the hell? This is my house! / Mr. Cox: Why are you naked? / Wilson: Why are you standing on a puddle of my semen? Some questions can never be answered! / Wilson: Wow! It's a good thing I dodged that bullet! You could've hurt someone! / Cheryl: AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!
/ Wilson: Hahaha. Well, you know. Someone that's not your wife.
/ Mr. Cox: Cheryl? / [[The End!]] http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=fiftiesapocalypse&comic=50 |
| The Charles Era - Marshmallow Peeps | I'D like 2 givEs a ShOuT-Out 2 aLL mY MaRsHmEllo pEEps, yEllOw & pInK. I aM soRRy U hAd 2 geT iN mY mOuTh. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=50 |
| Anomaly - The Call of Duty | Future-Man!
/ [[Charged to protect the sacred Magic Ball of Atlantis, Frank Marks seeks to rid all crime in the world by stopping it before it happens!]] / NO! It can't be! / [[Hitler]] / WAR! I must keep focus! I MUST take action! / ...HAHAHA! Oh, Future-Man! You make me laugh like a little schoolboy!
/ Haha. Let's say we forget all about the war and rub our penises together. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=51 |
| The Charles Era - Copying Machine | this damn copying machine keeps eating ants! / that's because it is an aardvark. / hey! you don't work here! / they're on to us, Señor Andrew! let's go!
/ sì. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=51 |
| Anomaly - A Day in the Life of Jenkins: The Manservant | Jenkins! Fetch me more virgin monkey blood!
/ As you wish, sir. / Jenkins, you buffoon! My ice cream is cold! Heat it up!
/ Yes, sir. / Jenkins! My workout regime isn't working! Make me a new one!
/ Very good, sir. / Jenkins! This cloak of invisibility is WONDERFUL!
/ Uh... really?
/ No! Slap yourself! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=52 |
| The Charles Era - Love Poetry | and now... a poem from Henry the Stoner...
/ Open Mic Night
/ Roses are red. Violets are blue. Where the hell is my rhyming dictionary. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=52 |
| Anomaly - Dinner Surprise | So, I suppose now is a good a time as any to tell you guys... / I have cancer. / Oh, my god! I'm so sorry, Liz!
/ Is there anything we can do?
/ Maybe today WASN'T the best day to poison her food. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=53 |
| The Charles Era - Failure | Fun fact: approximately 134 percent of people failed statistic class in high school. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=53 |
| Anomaly - Santa Says... | Santa Says... / ALWAYS leave milk and cookies by the tree! While I DO appreciate the virgin sacrifices, it can get a little sticky in the beard.
/ NEVER peek at your presents before Christmas or your parents might punish you. Jesus used to peek at his Christmas presents and look what happened to him.
/ If you're nice, you'll get a toy for Christmas. If you're naughty, you'll get some coal. If you're really naughty, you'll get a toy made out of coal. And I'll murder your parents.
/ Its true, I can't be everywhere in the world in one night delivering presents. So my elves made a few robots. Due to a minor glitch, they have a tendency to molest children. Don't anger them, remain calm, and DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS. You wouldn't want to ruin your parent's Christmas... WOULD YOU?
/ Be sure to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS! Unless if they're Jewish. Then wish them a merry eternity in hell. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=54 |
| The Charles Era - Life | you know, life is kind of like a child. / why is that? / no matter how often people get annoyed with it, we all love it deep down. / i think life is more like a guy about to get eaten by a dragon. / i don't really get that one. / NOOOOO! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=54 |
| Anomaly - Can't Sell Them on Ebay | So, Buppo, what have you been up to recently? / Well, I've been collecting STDs from Brazilian hookers.
/ I only need a couple more and I'll have the whole collection! / Wait! I can't get any of those by having my hand up your ass all the time, can I? / I don't think so. But there was that one time where both your hands were broken and you insisted that the show must go on. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=55 |
| The Charles Era - High School | High school is kind of like having sex with a monkey. at first you go in and you're like, "hey, this is a fun and new experience." then you go in a little deeper as a sophomore and you're thinking, "this is pretty cool. i made a friend and i can't wait to drive!" then you become a junior and you say to yourself, "sweet! i can drive!" and boy ... do you drive it hard. then you're a senior and you pull out at the end of the year. and you're thinking your gonna have a lot of fun ... but you don't ... because everyone's calling you the Monkey-F*cker. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=55 |
| Anomaly - Gender Comparison Study | [[proposal]] / [[marriage]] / [[Batman vs bear]] http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=56 |
| The Charles Era - Horse Jokes | hye, Dave. wanna hear a joke?
/ sure. / a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" / get it? horse? long face? / i had a long face because the bartender had sex with my wife. / i liked the horse's joke more. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=56 |
| Anomaly - Jesus H. | h, father. Why have you forsaken me... / These anal warts are really chafing. I'd rather be nailed to a wooden board than live another day with these things. / Yeah... uh, Jesus? About that being nailed to a board thing... http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=57 |
| The Charles Era - Games | When i was a kid, i didn't have any eyes, nose, or mouth. ... and i also really hated that game, "eraser wars." http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=57 |
| Anomaly - el México | Así pues, qué usted piensan en México, ¿Buppo?*
/ Lo odio.**
/ [[* So, what do you think of Mexico, Buppo?]]
/ [[** I hate it.]] / Pozo que es desafortunado, ¿por qué usted lo odia?*
/ [[* Well that's unfortunate, why do you hate it?]] / Porque cada uno habla en subtítulos de la traducción. Hace el texto duro leer.*
/ [[* Because everyone speaks in translation captions. It makes the text hard to read.]] / < http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=58 |
| The Charles Era - The Adventures of Sloth Man: Part 1 | one sunny day... / help me, Sloth Man! i am being robbed! / well? aren't you going to do something? / WHY AM I ON FIRE? OUCHIES! BURNS! / you did it, Sloth Man! you're my hero! / no! he always gets all the credit! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=58 |
| Anomaly - Divine Cuisine | God? Do you have enough power to create a taco so large that even YOU couldn't eat it?
/ No. But that's why I created humans.
/ To make a giant taco?
/ What?! You mean to tell me YOU haven't spread the message yet?
/ Well... not exactly. I've been spreading the message of love, peace, and forgiveness. / By "love, peace, and forgiveness" do you mean "meat, tortilla, and cheese"? http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=59 |
| The Charles Era - The Adventures of Sloth Man: Part 2 | thank you Sloth Man! / you're my hero! / make love to me! now! / mmm...
/ *kiss* / RHEEE! RHEEEEE!
/ oh! / five years later...
/ you see my retarded adoptive son? / that is why you are ugly and must be kept in the cellar. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=59 |
| Anomaly - Renaissance Man | This is a little song I wrote for all the ladies tonight...
/ Doot da dum dum dum! Dweet deet! / Excuse me, sir. But do you think you can actually PLAY the piano?
/ No. I have no idea how to play. I'm just the janitor. Adrien's sick, so I'm filling in. / But if you want, maybe I can try something more romantic.
/ Um... sure. That'd be great. / To the window, to the wall! 'Til the sweat drip down my balls! 'Til all these bitches crawl! http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=anomaly&comic=60 |
| The Charles Era - The Adventures of Sloth Man: Part 3 | Sloth Man vs. Gravity / To be continued... / never mind. http://www.hyperdeathbabies.com/index.php?dir=hyperdeathbabies&comic=60 |
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