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| Backyard Fishing | My God, I'm sick of this gopher. / Dude, just reach in there and pull him out yourself! / Hey, that's a great idea!
/ Yeah, be a man! / What, did you find the gopher?
/ Well, sort of... http://eggheadcomics.net/1 |
| Graphic Content | Cool, pictures of sex and murder! / You have a weird concept of those terms.
/ Has anybody seen my animal biology book? http://eggheadcomics.net/2 |
| Well Done | Hey! / Ha, he didn't suspect a thing! http://eggheadcomics.net/3 |
| Conflict of Interest | Oh, that's good!
/ No, that's bad! / What are you guys talking about?
/ He caught his girlfriend cheating on him with another girl! / Oh, that's good!
/ No, that's bad! http://eggheadcomics.net/4 |
| Brain Freeze | One for you... / ...and one for m-
/ UNICORN! / Oooh, brain freeze.
/ I think it's only considered a 'freeze,' in your case. http://eggheadcomics.net/5 |
| Hunger Strike | Oh man, I'm so hungry.
/ Ugh, I know how you feel. / And I'm flat-out broke!
/ Me too! So now what? http://eggheadcomics.net/6 |
| Legal Tender | Whenever you hear a girl say that she just turned legal, what's the first thing you think of? / Sex...?
/ Okay, good. / Why?
/ Just making sure I'm not the only perverted opportunist around here. http://eggheadcomics.net/7 |
| The Doghouse | That's it, Carl! You're really going to the doghouse now!
/ Oh, really! / Yeah, really!
/ Oh, REALLY? / Shit. http://eggheadcomics.net/8 |
| Bedsheets | Wooooo, trick or treat, mortal being! / God dammit Steve, knock it off.
/ Whooo is this 'Steve' that you speak of? / I can see your shoes, y'know.
/ It's not my fault your mom's bedsheets are so short. http://eggheadcomics.net/9 |
| Crazy Earl | This looks like a great turkey!
/ Your uncle 'Crazy Earl' dropped by with it earlier. He said he got it fresh from a nearby turkey farm. / Well that was very nice of... / ...wait, what nearby turkey farm? / I swear, officer, there's less of 'em every day! http://eggheadcomics.net/10 |
| Growing Concern | Hey, where'd my growth formula go? / Could've sworn I left it right here... / Oh well, at least I know it could not have gone far. http://eggheadcomics.net/11 |
| All Year | Well, it's 2010 now.
/ Yup. / I haven't gone to the bathroom all year! http://eggheadcomics.net/12 |
| Football Logic | Well, there goes out last football. / Great, so what do we use for practice now? / In other news, multiple sightings of a flying baby have been reported... http://eggheadcomics.net/13 |
| The Standoff | George, what are you doing?!
/ Stop right there, Earl. / Sorry you have to see me like this, but don't try to stop me now. I've gone too far for you to mess this up. / Wha- / Should I call an ambulance?
/ Yeah, I think I broke my back. http://eggheadcomics.net/14 |
| Great Expectations | Ugh, I hate Valentine's Day. Nothing but a commercial gimmick to force couples into costly love-dovey situations. / But dude, you have a girlfriend! There's no way to avoid the situation. / No worries! I have it all figured out. / I'm sorry, but I really think we should start seeing other people now... / I... http://eggheadcomics.net/15 |
| Melvin and Bob | Holy crap dude, did you just see that alien walk by?! / You haven't seen Melvin before? He and Bob occasionally visit us. / Bob? Who's Bob? http://eggheadcomics.net/16 |
| Melvin and Bob: Part 2 | So...what's with the bag on Bob's head? / He's a little on the shy side, so he likes to wear it in public. / Well that's not much of a disguise. Doesn't he get asked about it a lot? / Naw, he knows who to hang around with to avoid that. / ...Rough night for you too? http://eggheadcomics.net/17 |
| Melvin and Bob: Part 3 | So, why do Melvin and Bob hang around here so often? / They go galaxy hopping a lot, and they seem to like this place the most. / What's their favorite thing to do around here? / Well, it WAS abducting cows, until they learned how to use shotguns. http://eggheadcomics.net/18 |
| Foreign Exchange | Hey George, who you got there with you? / Oh, this is Pepito. He just moved here, so I'm trying to get him used to our culture.
/ Bonjour! / Hey Pepito, today is St. Patrick's Day, and Roger here isn't wearing any green... / ...so what's the customary thing to do in this case? / Hmmm... / Are you... http://eggheadcomics.net/19 |
| Hokey Pokey | Hey, check it out, a sleeping bear! / Heehee, look at its fat butt!
/ Dude, I don't think you should be doing th- / What's the big idea here, huh?
/ I...I...um... / What if I started poking YOU for the fun of it?
/ Ow, stop that! Quit it! / Not so funny now, eh?
/ Waaah, stop already! Parley! PARLEY... http://eggheadcomics.net/20 |
| Hey Kid | Hey kid, I have candy in that unmarked van behind me! You want some? / Okay! / ...I'm on camera right now, aren't I.
/ Yup!
/ How much time do I -
/ Five seconds. http://eggheadcomics.net/21 |
| Darren | Hey, have you seen Darren lately?
/ Yeah, he said he's going out clubbing. / Darren? Clubbing? That guy is afraid of loud noises AND girls!
/ I know, right? And he was wearing the dumbest outfit ever! http://eggheadcomics.net/22 |
| [Untitled] | Hey you, need somebody to talk to? / I just need some time alone, that's all. / Oh, alright... / Crap, now I feel like talking to someone. http://eggheadcomics.net/23 |
| Simple Minds | Boobs!
/ Where? / Psych. http://eggheadcomics.net/24 |
| Extreme Measures | I...I can't believe it ended like this.
/ Hey man, don't be so hard on yourself. / But I never got to say how much she meant to me...how much I loved her.
/ Well at least she's not like, dead or anything... / But that's just it! She's NOT dead! I have to kill her before she gets to anybody else! / Woah,... http://eggheadcomics.net/25 |
| Refrigerator | Hey, did you move the refrigerator?
/ Nope. / Third time this has happened now!
/ Probably just some prankster. / God dammit, I'll never escape at this rate. http://eggheadcomics.net/26 |
| The Nose Knows | Dude, do you hab a tishoo? I gotuh bad bloody nose. / What? We don't even HAVE noses. / Well, this is awkward.
/ I'll say. http://eggheadcomics.net/27 |
| Intermission | C'mon, we're going on vacation.
/ What, no funny stuff today? / Nope. C'mon, before we miss the train.
/ Wait, the what? / It'll be fun. Don't be such a crybaby.
/ I never signed up for this! http://eggheadcomics.net/28 |
| Same Difference | "Wow, this feels kinda different"
/ "I'm sure it won't take too long to get used to" / "Hey, there's Melvin and Bob!"
/ "What up bitches?"
/ "I knew you guys could talk!" / "Sweet! This is f**king awesome!" / "...Aw, we get censored now?!"
/ "Laughing out loud" http://eggheadcomics.net/29 |
| That One Phone | "911 emergency service"
/ "Hello?! That escaped convict from the news stories is in my house, and he's coming to kill me right now!"
/ *creeeak* / "Please remain calm, sir. Tell me your address, a- dispat- immi-el-"
/ *call failed*
/ "What?! Oh no, oh no, this can't be happening..."
/ *SMASH!* / "YAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
/ "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" / "...Wait,... http://eggheadcomics.net/30 |