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Okay so if Billie took my car then her car should still be around in the parking garage As soon as I find it I can go help / SCREECH / Hey Danny / Bad Howard I told you you're not supposed to leave the apartment unsupervised / There are things outside that are meaner and stronger than you Like little girls / Fine bring that up again |
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Howard I'm supposed to be looking after you this week Your parents are scary enough without me actively ticking them off Stay outta trouble okay / Now to find the car Or any car / You mean your old red SUV I saw Joe and some girl move it / I'm going to regret this aren't I / If I know the god of this universe we all will |
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Sheesh Look at this mess And the windows are all smokey Thanks Joe Glad to know my truck is your new shag pad / He never wrecked stuff in college I figured SEMME people can control their strength a little or half the girls at college would have been destroyed / Well it was about time I got a new car anyway This SUV's an old piece of crap |
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Ow Damn What just happ / SKREEEEEEEEEEE / I in my fantasies when I'm attacked b by crazy th things I do this awesome backflip up into the air and land with a devastating d dropkick |
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4 / Trapped / SRRRCH / Piece of crap / What am I Eight nine years old You're what thirty / T tw twenty five / Colorado / 312 AUF / Oh Well then / I take everything back / I'm soooo sorrrry / That expanding forehead of yours and that sagging meatsack you call a stomach gave me the wrong impression / We'll see who's the piece of crap after smearing you across the pavement at 200 mph bucko / Ultra Car |
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Ultra Car no Bad truck bad Bad / Joe I told you / W what did you do to my car / More than I have time to explain / C'mon flatter me / Seriously Dan He's cool It'll just take a while for that whole sanctity of life thing to kick in / Yyyeah / Meh / Sorry but we needed your car to get to outer space / This is like in 3rd grade when you wanted to drive to Japan isn't it / Yes exactly |
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Joe Joe I don't have time for this Billie's at SEMME and it's World War III or something over there and I've gotta / You gotta what Do what every abductee with her can do / Dan I know how you must feel but / Dude you'd just be doing something stupid / And it'll all mean squat when that martian ship coming into orbit vaporizes the place / Martians Like from Mars / Yeah / What I can do isn't the point I have to do something / Dan what have you always told me / You've got to think of the consequences And the consequences of me being a super robot builder guy gives me a responsibility / Sorry about your truck But SEMME's labs are disassembled / And Rachel and me just got this one shot / And you you've got to have faith In Billie In Walky and Joyce and Sal and whoever's there for her / It's the only thing you can do |
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I'm coming with you / No / So I don't get to go but the hot supermarket chick does / Dan she and I are best frien / Sorry buddy but unless you're willing to do what I hope she is / Yeah yeah I know the drill |
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Hey uprights we gonna go today The sooner I save the world the sooner I can enjoy hating it / Do we really need to drive this thing / Hey f# you too / How can it possibly get us into outer space / CHRRR CHRRK CHRR CHRR CHRRRKK / 312 AUF / Yeah eat me / Geez So this is the legacy 1980s kidvid culture impacted on the next generation |
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I gotta go gather up the last of the equipment / So uh you / Rachel / You're willing to do this / I guess I am / Joe is amazing in impossible ways I don't really expect you to understand / But / but when you're creating a life putting your souls and minds together in this incredibly intimate way / I'm never touching my car again / You can be intimate in other ways Mr. Male / That changes nothing |
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Here's some weaponry If all goes well we won't even have to leave the cabin but you can't be too prepared / These are pellet bomb guns They release shells that will penetrate and explode / Wow / Guns We get guns / And we're going up into space / And we're fighting martians Dude do we get awesome matching outfits / Dan you were supposed to pass the gun to Rachel / Where's mine / Dan go home |
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Look mister You're the guy I find here having rebuilt my car stealing my chance to save my girlfriend's life / So yeah okay you may be right and she'll be taken care of for now But if what you said is true about these martians you're gonna need more help than her and it / It / You may be a hotshot abductee but you're still my freakin' friend / Dan sometimes you're too great a friend for your own good / I'm driving |
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Everything all set / Yeah / Keep flappin' your jaws all you want / I'm in control here / Great / ETA is 22 minutes / Billie take care of yourself / I can't help you where you are / But I will help you from where I can |
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They're ten feet tall / At first sight you think it must be an optical illusion that they're not really that big that it's just that they're so monstrous / But they're actually that big / And I realize that I'm just three feet tall inside this suit and that my perspective on height is more exaggerated than yours / But we need the Cheese / This is his purpose |
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We have to dedicate our forces to locating the Cheese That's our only chance for survival / I vote no I've grown up being a mortal amongst gods I don't believe in waiting around for gods to save us / If this is the Cheese's purpose he'll be here / If he's not here I plan to be ready |
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You two flank us in your mechs / Gotcha / Ever since Walky and Joyce arrived here they've been walking funny / Holy mother |
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We're just wasting our time / Alan / Walky Sal Tony Linda To a lesser extent the rest of the abductees here We'll go up like a beacon on the martian scanners / Believe me when I tell you that I know more than you about what's going on / POW / Yes about that / Oh by the way I'm taking command |
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When it comes to full disclosure Jason you ain't got much room to talk / I know / But I really hadn't known much more than I had let on My father ignored me and I reciprocated / He was more than happy to fund my exile at an early age I hated him and hated what he wanted to accomplish Then this girl ran into me the girl I knew he'd been so maliciously interested in I had to make sure she was safe / No you moron ah'm talkin' 'bout the whole L word thing / Oh |
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Everyone Encircle the complex in groups of three Sal and Mike walk with me briskly / Sal the fact that I care for you wasn't exactly my best kept secret You even seemed annoyed by it / All you ever did was compliment my ass and criticize me like a creepy asshole / I creeped in your mom's asshole / Why'd we bring him along / Intimidation / Th the good news is ah like you a lot too Jason / Hmmm / The bad news is ah was so afraid to admit to it that the other night ah slept with Tony |
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On your feet / KICK / Dargon Chesterfield is dead Your new leader Penny Worthington is dead / Listen to me I am Jason Chesterfield / You and your men will do as I command you |
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You're going to need more than that / Lucky for you we can't escape this planet without using martian tech / They could hunt us down with no effort / Luckier for you the Cheese apparently refitted me with traces of it when he reformatted my arms and my programming / I rate better my chances in teamwork / Lucky for you |
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S so this is it / The sooner we get this over with / Joyce can I ask you for a favor / Of course / In my dreams I see you looking up at me crying as I send myself up to die Y you're wearing the yellow striped shirt you're wearing now / Please change into the other shirt / No No Stop doing this to me |
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Beef and Doc and Mandy and Grace and / Oh god Walky / It's happening Joyce I told you it would / No / I I will have f faith I have to forget all the sorrow and hold on to hope / Please Joyce / No Hope is all I have to hold on to / You have me / I cannot doubt I / F fine / Fine I'll change shirts / B but it's not because I doubt / It's not / It's because you asked me to |
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A good relationship no a good marriage requires compromise / Sacrifice / That's all this is / Pony door open / A and what if he's right What if this one action could prove his visions are false / But they are false I don't have to prove what I know in my heart to be true I just have to have patience / But but but / this is cheating |
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We'll get better at that right / Hey we've got all night / Oh / Oh okay / But / But Joe only gave me one of his sexy emergencies condoms That's all he could convince me to take / Uh Uh We'll have to go out and buy more / Buy them But I've never / I'm fine Do we gotta try again right now / Yes / Yes we do / Yes ma'am |
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Soon / Well that sure is a convenience store / Yyyep / Well go inside / What you're not coming with / 99 / Y you're the guy You do it / Oh right so the guy at the counter can all stare an' laugh at the little dorky kid who thinks he's gonna get some / But you are / He won't know that / Oh big deal Some stranger thinking you think you're going to be making love is hardly the worst thing ever / So we agree / Dang |
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DING DING / card over 18 / Dopa Dola / Dope 24 |
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Walky / Walky I've got an idea / We'll get all these other random things too along with the condoms so they think we're doing a science project or something / I've got these plastic cowboy handcuffs a bag of feathers / a uh / jar of vasoli / AAAAAGGH / Vasoline |
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We should just buy them / I know / What aisle are they in / Heh And what size should we get / Heh Heh heh / What / Nothing / Heh |
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