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| itswalky.com/d/20041116.html | Joe Why don't you ever take the trash out / Because it's not full / That's 'cuz I hafta take parts of it myself when it overflows / So take all of it / RSJ / But I'm trying to train you to do it / Well one of us is being trained |
| itswalky.com/d/20041118.html | Joe I don't think I've ever seen you do laundry / I just buy new clothes / What do you do with the old ones / I pack them in garbage bags in the closet / spray spray |
| itswalky.com/d/20041123.html | Joe seriously how can you tolerate this mess Don't you ever want a girl over / Dan don't you know You go to her place / I've seen you with girls here / Well yeah when I gotta But I just tell them the mess is your fault / Oh don't worry I tell them it's part of your disability and you're not just a slob / Grea... |
| itswalky.com/d/20041125.html | Lord thank you for this beautiful planet with all the trees and the leaves and the birds / And thanks for all the diverse people that populate this planet And thanks for your salvation / And thanks for peanut butter M Ms |
| itswalky.com/d/20041130.html | I am completely blanked out on this assignment / Maybe I'll be able to find some inspiration about Sir Thomas More from Cartoon Network |
| itswalky.com/d/20041202.html | Howard could you be a pal and get me a napkin / No Joe My sister says you're a bully and that I shouldn't be your slave / YOINK |
| itswalky.com/d/20041207.html | Howard what's with the elf ears / They're not elf ears They're Spock ears / Non culturally ignorant people recognize Spock from Star Trek where he lived a life based on logic and rationality / I've adopted his teachings and took them one more step by stripping my life of all unnecessary things / Hmmm / You're... |
| itswalky.com/d/20041209.html | Howard / I've told my sister you've been picking on me Joe / Oh no it's Ruth Maybe she's gonna read some gothy poetry at me I'm so scared / Look Joe / look very carefully I'm going to do to you what I'm about to do to this orange / Hmm / POW |
| itswalky.com/d/20041214.html | Hey Dan can you clean up my mess for me Jessica's coming over / Joe I've been thinking / Why are you my best friend We often don't get along You treat me like garbage We don't agree on anything / Danny it's because I'm the only one who'll watch your stupid dorky sci fi movies with you / Maybe I should tell this... |
| itswalky.com/d/20041216.html | Joe I'm taking out the trash |
| itswalky.com/d/20041221.html | Hey Ruth Does it feel weird to still be in school when you're in your mid twenties / It's called grad school genius What do you mean weird / Don't you feel like you've been trapped in a soul crushing prison most people your age escaped from years earlier / Now I do Thanks / Glad I could help |
| itswalky.com/d/20041223.html | You're wrong Danny Being stuck in grad school until my mid twenties isn't a prison / Yeah right / It's after school that's the prison After being in this system for 20 years school is a comfort / It's real life that's scary and unknown Until then every day of school is precious an ever thinning reserve of... |
| itswalky.com/d/20041228.html | That's a nice doodle of a bunny on your school work there Ruth / Sorry / I'm having lots of trouble keeping motivated It's hard just getting up in the morning / And after so long my behavior has started to alienate my friends and peers My doctor says I should start taking some medica / Ruth / Dangit I just wanted... |
| itswalky.com/d/20041230.html | Danny / Hello Joyce / When we're blissfully wed after college what breed of puppy should we adopt / I'm more a cat person / But but / Lies / No That can't be true O our relationship is doomed / See you later Joyce |
| itswalky.com/d/20050104.html | Geez Joyce you look like your pony just lost the pageant / I'm a dog person and Danny is cat person It's a sign Maybe he's not supposed to be my future husband after all / Girl why are you so hung up on Danny anyway He doesn't even like you / An angel appeared to me after 7 Mountain Dews and said my hubby... |
| itswalky.com/d/20050106.html | Danny's a cat person and I'm a dog person I guess we just weren't meant to be / Guess not / Hey Wait a minute / What if what if I'm not really a dog person What if I really do like cats more / Yes That's it I've been lying to myself my whole life If Danny and I are meant to be then I must prefer cats / Of cou... |
| itswalky.com/d/20050111.html | What's all that / All my doggy stuff / Since I am now a cat person I'm getting rid of all my photos of Walkies my family's dog / You're seriously altering your personality to convince yourself that you and Danny are soulmates / Law / Cuz y'know that's what Danny really likes Denial / I love cats honest / Oh good |
| itswalky.com/d/20050113.html | Hello kitty / Come back here I'm a cat person |
| itswalky.com/d/20050118.html | Here pretty kitty kitty / I'm coming up after you / Come here so I can confirm my natural rapport with felines / Hello / Mrrow |
| itswalky.com/d/20050120.html | Hey there / The cat came to you How did you do that / Cats will like you as long as you give them lots of space and don't force love on them / What is this space you speak of / A foreign concept I know |
| itswalky.com/d/20050122.html | Aww you're adorable / Yeah / I think you need to be rewarded for all that adorableness / With cookies / Sure That can be our code word / For cookies / So where are my cookies / SEX |
| itswalky.com/d/20050125.html | Hello kitty Is it all right if you let me pet you / That's right I'm giving you all the space you need That's a good kitty / Darnit kitty get back here so I can give you some space |
| itswalky.com/d/20050127.html | Howie you can't just do Star Trek stuff all day You have to study sometime / And no captain Kirk would not climb out the window and escape to safety He'd study / Rats |
| itswalky.com/d/20050129.html | Hello Security / My name's uh Jon Jon Stewart / Well Mr. Stewart your badge checks out but this area's off limits at this hour / Hurry up finish yer work an' get outta here / Yes ma'am / Will do / Err / That was my stomach growling / No it was me Merv |
| itswalky.com/d/20050201.html | Billie sometimes I worry about my little brother He doesn't socialize well in the real world / That's because he's a hopeless nerd a subspecies of humanity that should be quarantined from the rest of us / Ha ha ha right / What |
| itswalky.com/d/20050203.html | Billie don't talk as if my brother is an evolutionary throwback Nerds are people too / I guess / You're not a highschool cheerleader anymore Here in college you're no better than Howard / Whatever / You're just saying mean things because I used to be a highschool cheerleader / That's right I was |
| itswalky.com/d/20050205.html | Hey / Hey / Hey yerselves Mission's a bust / That it is / Disguises Forged badges Props Voice scramblers Despite all this you aliens are still the same sorry lot / No matter how Monkey Master tries to dress up you turkeys you're still turkeys / Geez you sound just like my mom / Leave me alone / He wears the pants in... |
| itswalky.com/d/20050208.html | gab gab gab gab / I used to be a cheerleader pay attention to me |
| itswalky.com/d/20050210.html | Another morning another day further from my glorious days of youth / Crunchy O's / This will not end well |
| itswalky.com/d/20050212.html | He'd go Ooga Booga / Gnn / Morons They're wasting our time / Spread out If there's these two aliens there'll be others / It feels good to be in command again True there are not many familiar faces / like Marcie / the U.S. government only wanted the sane ones back which of course left out Sal / It gives her something... |
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