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ZZZ / POW / Watch out for potholes / Heh heh / That was bad |
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Yeehaw Ah gut 'un / SCREEEEEEEEE / Tired Frustrated Life's hardships getting you down Feel like lashing out / Apply within |
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Pa Ma / Don't worry they're fine / For the moment you have everything you've wanted your freedom / I can extend that to full time / You look / Familiar / Eee I hope not or Mr. Mindwiper is in big trouble / Ah'm gettin' my folks out of our truck / Man The media has desensitized us to alien warlords |
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Oh sure Save your folks / You'll go back to the same old life you hate so much But now you have the chance to walk away No more parents No more pain / Follow me Your parents will go on Escape your hell / Good idea / But ah follow no one |
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So that's how it's gonna be huh Your parents may only have some bumps and scratches now but I can top that believe me / See if ah care / Okey dokey |
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As you wish / But / But / Ah didn't / Don't give me that I even got you on tape / See if ah care / Busted / But what does it matter now You'll hardly side with me will you / Oh well / Say hello to your new mommy and daddy |
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Rule #1 / Oof / Don't piss off the alien / Rule #2 / I always get what I want / Rule #3 I have no room to talk as far as selfishness is concerned / But at least I'm not a whiney bitch about it |
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Yeah that's it Just enough mind wiper to / Ah A Man in Black / Sal Run / Ah A Man in Black and Blue / Hey in moments like these you take what humor you can |
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COUGH COUGH / You Men in Black are expendable aren't you / Sal Throw the hovercraft / D'oh |
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The fact that ah effortlessly threw a hovercraft was farthest from my mind / Ah just wanted to get as far away as possible / Ah grabbed my bag an' my ma's coat / It was gonna be chilly from then on |
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After a few more run ins with the aliens ah finally made it to Danny's university Ah wanted to collapse in his arms tell him ever'thing But as soon as he opened that door ah was my old self / Ah couldn't do that to Danny Gettin' his bike stolen turned his world upside down My parents' murder destroyed mine Our problems were separated by orders of magnitude how could he possibly understand / Understand is the wrong word More like comprehend Ah couldn't stay with him an' not just 'cuz aliens were trailin' me He simply couldn't comprehend How could anyone |
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Six months later / TAXI / Meet me back here at 6 okay / Mom sure flew us out here on such short notice huh Beef / Grunt / What sorta old friend can she have in Denver / Moms don't get to have lives They get to clean an' cook / Grunt / Yeah an' wipe our butts |
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'Scuse us Teletubbies comin' through / Crap Where's the chief go / Ask directions / Only women ask directions / Well Jerry Falwell did say you're gay / Um anyone want to trade hats / No But nice try / I will |
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Fine I'll ask for directions / Hey have you two seen a short purple guy in a hovercraft / Jerry Falwell says you're gay / Screw you guys I'm a smurf / Jerry Falwell says you're klansmen |
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Nevermind We see 'im / Thanks anyway / Nice fellas / There you are Hop on We're going to Indiana / What for / Our next pertinent test subject / Um |
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Big Boss this is Alan We chanced upon more abductees the aliens are out and about / We're still ghosting our targets Over / Please keep an eye on them / Where are they takin' us / At least it's a pleasant view / The mountains The mountains |
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Don't worry I've got troops watching them / Anthony / What happened to my wife I will not let that happen to your family / Shhh On the count of three I'll honk the horn really loud |
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HONK / Hey that was just rude / Caution / I'm going to wipe the floor with you / Geez who are you the noise police / I told you we'd get beat up if we wore these things in public |
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Why Tony You're still alive / You'd think that after last week you wouldn't want to be but I'm not the glutton for punishment / I guess I should've seen that coming |
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Remember Big Boss wants him alive / Right / Hooks you round up Ms Walkerton's kids / At least one of them has to be an abductee / Who are you people / People who're tired of their lives being #ed with |
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BLAM / I see how it is I roughen you up and you get your poss after me / Ah ain't nobody's poss / We're all in this together / 'Cept for him / Yankee bigots |
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Aaaa / Here ah'll tie ya up / Woo / That's odd They usually hit me |
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Aah That hurts / Hey ah'm the least of yer worries / Regardless you do a good job of tying things up / Can't reach / Okay on three / Um quadruple knotting it is quite enough / Eh heh |
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Let's get back to base / Base / You think this is over / SNIP / Hahahahaha / This way sir / Right / We'll chase him down later / Let's find Hooks and the kids and go / Home |
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Good night troops Great work today / Hi honey / You beat me down again / You know me Ah never waste my time / I can't complain / So do you really have a meeting or was that just yer codeword for a roll in the hay / Well I thought I'd dignify it with some dinner first / EAT AT |
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So what first attracted you to me / Your hair / What about you / Yer eyes / They seemed so sad but you were so strong outside / See There it is again |
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Ah hate nosey people more than anythin' but ah care so much fer you / An' it eats me up inside not to know / Ah know somethin' terrible happened to your mother / Whatever happened ah want to help / Look you carry my burden an' ah'll carry yours / Boy was ah stupid |
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Ah promised ah'd keep his story a secret / An' ah still keep that promise / His story was awful inconceivable and disgusting / An' why ah had to kill him when ah did / So now ah carry both our burdens on an ever growing list |
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My parents Tony the head alien stole them all from me / An' both times it was by my own doing / Ah was ready to kill the head alien an' myself with him / Thankfully Walkerton stopped me / Like before ah was led by what ah wanted It killed my folks / But it wasn't gonna take me / Ah'd received my punishment an' it's my duty to live with it / No shortcuts |
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