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Doo dee doo Mister Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear can sit up here / Does Bunny Wunny want to play with Mr. Bear / Dinner winner Why I'd be delighted / Sarah Warah's gonna bash in Joyce's heady weddy / Time to put on Mr. Helmet |
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Joyce why aren't you over bothering Danny instead of me / Well / after last year and all the horrible stuff I did y'know stalking him telling my folks we're engaged / How do I even begin to talk to him / So basically you can't confront him 'cuz now he knows you're a psycho / Exactly |
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Now Joyce if yer trying to attract Danny you're doing a terrible job / The problem is there's nothing to you You flitter around talk about boys and you have no depth Get a hobby be interesting / Get rid of the plush animals / Awwww |
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Hello / Hmm / Oh It's you / Yeah I'm having trouble with my roommate / And why do I care / He scares me y'see Very frightening I can't talk to him / I'd appreciate some help or some advice or something I guess / I don't care The door is that way Leave now / He seems to stop growling when I bring him raw meat |
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Hey Joe Look / What now / It's in my room next door / What is / My new state of the art computer |
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Joe I was talking to Howard next door this morning / He was backed up into the corner and well twitching / I tried to reason with him but when I mentioned your name his face was suddenly consumed with some unspeakable horror / Heheheheheheheheheheh / Joe leave the kid alone |
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Whoa Little Howard has a girl in his room / Wow / Nevermind she's his sister / Ahh / Hold up she's his cute sister / Oh no |
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Hey hey Howard My man You didn't tell me you have a cute sister / Why hello there I'm a friend of your brother / Omph / Are you the kid who's been picking on Howard / Picking on is kind of harsh Just a little fun really No harm d / POW |
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Aw geez my wrist / Your wrist What about my nose / Freakin' punched me in the friggin' nose Crap / Man this is gonna hurt for days / PUNT / Shaddup |
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Danny I need your help Howard's sis is beating me up / So what do you want me to do / I dunno that thing / You mean that thing where I talk to females as real human beings instead of as a source for sex on demand / Yeah That weird thing / In a more perfect world that'd be the rule rather than the exception |
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Ah hello I'm Danny from next door / Oh Hi there / Howard / Don't worry he's the nice one / Oh / Can I hit him anyway / Just don't scuff up my Star Trek commemorative plate |
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Well Joe I talked with Howard's sister / And / Actually we hit it off rather well Her name is Ruth and we're doing something this weekend / Alright Dan You're the man / The relationship is purely platonic Joe / Then what's the point |
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It's so inspiring to be in such an institute for higher learning / The educational possibilities are limitless I'm glad my tuition money is well spent / Instead of the normal lecture I thought we'd enjoy a guest speaker on the topic of the importance of studying / Eh who am I kidding |
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Why are you taking me to the library / Joyce you need a hobby Trust me / You seem awful nice by helping me though and you're never nice to me Sarah / Yeah well / I figger if I make you more interesting Danny boy'll like you and you'll be gone more often See / You're not one for subtle hostilities are you / Hey a book on Japan You could get an internship |
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While we're looking for a hobby for you Joyce is there anything you're interested in / Um well / Danny's a wholesome kinda guy so hmmm Heh Cross stitching / And Body Piercing at Home is out of the question right Joyce / Joyce / Lookit a book on aliens / I want to make you more interesting Joyce but not that interesting |
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Okay Joyce so far we've got 2 books on marine life you took to those well / Then we found this book on ponies I'll take that back very quickly thank you / But I'm worried about your sudden interest in aliens so erm / Oh my god / What |
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I'm outta here Joyce You're scarin' me with all this aliens stuff / But / But nothing Yer molding aliens out of your dorm food It's frightening / There is no one on this campus as sick and deranged as you / Oh my gosh / What |
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YAWN / So how's George today / Cindy / I really wish he hadn't given a name to my single chest hair |
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Danny I'm glad you came / Guys this is Danny / I'm Ron / Billie / I'm Carly / I'll be upstairs for a bit Talk amongst yourselves I'm sure you have lots in common / Who wants a beer / Me / Me |
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Well this is delightful I'd better excuse myself / Woo hoo hooo / Hic / Giggle / What a waste / Hey Danny Where you going / Ruth your friends are drunken jerks / Hey those are my drunken jerk friends |
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How can you call those people your friends Ruth / Easily / Sure they're all drunk now but there's more to them than that / They use other drugs / No For example Carly over there she kept me sane during my parents' divorce / What about the guy / Oh you're right about him He's a drunken jerk |
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Every weekend we all get together and throw caution to the wind / Y'know a few days to say to hell with it and forget the consequences / Yeah but the consequences still exist / But it all depends on whether you care about the consequences or not / Ah |
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Ruth what you're telling me is terrible don't you have any hopes or dreams at all / I used to Danny / But it seems that I've systematically lost all my principles one by one until I've been stripped bare of any meaning / Why are you telling me this / Well you look like you have your act together and I want to know how / Duct tape |
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The truth is I don't have my act together / You begin to entertain all sorts of self doubt when your girlfried of 2 years suddenly shows up and announces she's running away / I mean apparently I went wrong somewhere And I still don't know what's happened to her / Danny if this is the least of your worries / And I want to know how the heck she got into my 3rd floor window |
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Well you're back late / Yeah Long night / Ruth's party started out as a big drink fest between her roommates but she's really depressed and looking for advice / Beer and chicks and you have a conversation / Am I the only man alive who doesn't think with his loins / Yes / Did someone say beer and chicks |
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I have a feeling this is gonna degenerate into sentimental crap I'm leaving / Humor me Howard and listen to a tale of a boy and his girlfriend / Was she beautiful / Danny she talks like Andie MacDowell / Yeah / That wasn't a compliment |
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Sal was the sort of person you either loved or hated / She was filled with such boundless energy and wit people were either annoyed or drawn to her charisma / I hope you don't mind me venting all this at you Howard / That's okay I'm just not used to doing anything on a Friday night |
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Unfortunately Sal showed up at my dorm last year but she wasn't right Soon after she left and I haven't heard from her since / There's a reason I bring this up / I spoke with your sister Ruth tonight She's awfully depressed and her behavior mirrors Sal's before she vanished / Although I can be there for Ruth that's not a luxury I have with Sal / If only I could see her again if only to say / I understand / Welcome to Colorado / Danny I think I hate your stories |
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One lemonade for the kid / One more word an' ah'll stuff mah voting age down yer scrawny bow tied neck |
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You look like you've done a bit of travelling Where are you from / Ah'm not willin' to talk about it / Very well then I shall talk about my own travels / Originally I'm from England right / My father's a rich bloke so I've been spending my years searching out new adventures / Though it may seem all I find in America are South Park and Friends Most unfortunate / Two words Spice Girls |
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