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Dr. Pepper At least you understand me. / Hover text: Also, Craig is the best.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/12
God bless dictionaries How do you spell "excel?" / A-c-c-e-l? / Or e-x-c-e-l like the program? / Yes? / I am saying "excel," as in "I'd like to excel in something." / Like spelling? / I hate you. / Hover text: Accelerate should be spelled excelerate.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/13
Why I'm grateful for my current boss What my boss says... / I'll take care of that! / What my boss means... / I'll do nothing about that for a week and then have Betty take care of it! / Hover text: Note: this comic is not about my current boss.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/19
I'm an analogy masterrrrr My life has come to "a head"... like a zit. / The surface of my life. / The mound of puss / shit that has piled up. / The head that it has come to. / Hair follicles. Because i'm hairy. / Hover text: I'm also a master at being gross.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/20
One lady's heaven is another lady's hell... apparently (We're texting, in case the rectangles aren't accurate enough cell phone representations.) / I just heard a joke about Brian Adams. / It's Bryan with a y. / Oh. I only know he's a musician because of you. / Psh. And you call yourself "cultured." / Hover text: Canada's fiiiiiiinest export.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/40
 
Yay people I'm impressed you've stayed relatively sane through other people's insanity. / Being the rational one is easy when the other person lowers the bar to the point I could do the shuffle over it. / Hover text: And then you can do the Macarena over it.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/50
Holidays are about family... and near death experiences How was your vacation? / Well, my grandma pointed out I've gained so much weight, I need to lose it immediately before I get diabetes. Oh, and there were roaches everywhere. Including my pillow. At four in the morning. Yours? / My dad nearly shot me when cleaning his gun, which, to our surprise, was apparently...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/51
So young, so innocent... Hey, remember how much you completely loved the Backstreet Boys? / Ya. / Ok. / Um...Why? / Oh, I just wanted to make sure I never let you forget. / Hover text: Don't get me started on Brad Renfro...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/61
Fighter fishies can apparently take themselves down Look at my new fish! Isn't it great?! I can't decide what to call it. I've wanted one forever. I picked the prettiest one. My family was teasing me for being bad with pets. But I did everything the store said. I even got the fancy food! / Wow, it didn't even last long enough to name. That might actually...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/66
Life is something... Life is grand! And people are wonderful! / Life is grand! Aaaand...? / Um...people are wonderful? / That's right! / Life is grand! And...? / People are wonderful! / Life is grand! And...? / ... / ... / ... / ... / ... / hover text: I heart people lotz
http://bitterbettycomic.com/76
 
I want a puppyyyyyyyyyyy Oh my God! Look at that ADORABLE puppy! / It's eating its own poop. / Its own ADORABLE poop! / hover text: AND adorable slobber!
http://bitterbettycomic.com/79
He always says the right things You knocked me down! / At least I didn't knock you up! / hovertext: but I get up again
http://bitterbettycomic.com/88
Sisterly love Stop working. Pay attention to me. I'm bored. / (big sister) / PAY ATTENTION TO ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! / (not paying attention to me) / Huff! / scribble scribble / crinkle crinkle / BONK! / on paper: Pay attention to meeeee!!! / I WIN! / wow. / hover text: And...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/90
I love making coworkers squirm... Hey, your lunch looks good. Did you make that? / No. Just cause I have a vagina doesn't mean I like to cook. / Oh my God I didn't mean it like that! You know I didn't! / I know. But if I hadn't said it, I wouldn't get to watch you freak out afterwards. / hovertext: Notice I emasculate and amuse at the...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/114
My nemesis returns (Betty face-to-face with a giant ant) / And so we meet again...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/116
 
My American Dream I just think... / *whine whine whine whine* / Whine. It's not fair. Whine whine. More whining. / Whine. Passive aggressive comment. Whine. / Whine. Whi- / (slumped over in defeat) / (removes let and BONKs) / mumble mumble. / hovertext: And I bonked him hard.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/118
Boys who like girls who like boys... Hey, did you hear Tom is dating Sally? / Wait. Tom's gay. Isn't Tom gay? / Gay like "dude, I can't believe you like Twilight--you're so fucking gay," yes. Gay like hos sexual orientation is toward other men, no. / Wait, there's a reason to watch Twilight other than half-naked wolf-boys that you pretend...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/119
The enemy of all of my goals... UGGGGG...I'm really hoping to get a lot done tonight...but if last night's any indication, I might just stare at my computer not sure what I'm supposed to be working on, then give up and go on Facebook. / Unacceptable. / Agreed. And yet seemingly inevitable. / hovertext: Maybe I should just make my to-do...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/122
This is why I don't bake Noooo! I was on the LAST egg without getting shell into the bowl! I got too cocky and cracked with too much gusto! / Just take it out. / But it's in the thick part! The embryonic sack, for Christ's sake. That's the worst! / Wow, this is a common struggle for you isn't it. / I hate you. / Are you talking...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/128
The fuzzy lens made it all ok Indiana Jones is really old. / SHH! He's perfect! / But he's really old! / But do like I do and pretend he still looks like he does in the first movie. / Why? / One day, you'll understand. / I don't think I will. / Go get me ice cream.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/141
 
You can't collect old people You collect a lot of crap. / I just like old stuff! I always make sure to check the print editions and original copyrights of every book I read. / Geek. / Um, I like old stuff. / Except old people. Those aren't your favorite. / They smell. / The loophole, I suppose. / hovertext: Only some of them smell.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/142
I'm stressed I read this article about how stress as you grow up affects who you become as an adult. I'm developing theories about you as we speak. / Oh. It must say that stress makes you wonderful. / Well played. / hovertext: If true, I am amazingly wonderful.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/143
Osama Bin Adorable Osama Bin Laden doesn't look evil. / Wait...what? / The first time I saw him I though 'well, he doesn't LOOK like Satan.' But hey, you know. / No. No I do not know. / Well, he's got those puppy dog eyes. / You should do his PR. / hovertext: Droopy dog or Osama...same difference.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/144
Time travelin' But I thought you said the movie was rad? / Did you also think it was 1994? Cause I'm pretty sure that was the last time I used the word "rad." / hovertext: Sadly, I actually do use the word rad.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/145
My favorite story ever... Did I tell you about that time I saw Hugh Jackman at the museum?! / Yes. / So I was checking for entry tickets and saw this really handsome man with GREAT sideburns in the center lobby... / I said I had heard this. / Why can't you just humor me? / Because I've heard this 3 times. / 3 awesome times. / ... / ... / ... / So...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/146
 
Grrrrr!!!! Dude! You just missed Tom getting so mad! It was like he was having anger contractions... and they kept getting bigger and bigger until he gave birth to anger twins! / ... / hovertext: Notice the 2nd baby dangling from his mangina
http://bitterbettycomic.com/147
Childhood memories Look! I found my old Care Bear! "I want to be a Caaaaare Beeear! I wanna wave my fanny in the aaaaair!" / Um... I'm sorry, what was that you're singing? / The Care Bear song. Didn't you learn it when you were little? / I learned the ACTUAL Care Bear song, but it definitely did not mention the fanny region. / Dude,...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/148
Fuzzy is the new terrifying I went on this crazy tour at a koala reserve in Australia and guess what I found out! / That koalas are less cute and more freaky? / The males have 2 penises and the females have 2 vaginas! / Yeaaaa.... I'm pretty sure that's not true. / The guide told us! Google it! / Yeaaaa, I'm going to have to stick with...
http://bitterbettycomic.com/149
SLURP This painting is so sexy I could lick it. Which would be ironically unsexy. / Is that the correct use of "ironic?" / Really? That's the part you call me out on?
http://bitterbettycomic.com/150
So... painful... Her voice kills me. It's like an imp of satan is stuck in her throat. / Does satan have imps? / Not any more, because they are stuck in that lady's throat.
http://bitterbettycomic.com/151
 

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