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| The Sting | Robber #3: Everybody down, this is a robbery! Ok, you three open the safe. I'll stay here. / Robber #1: Almost there... bingo. / Robber #4: Freeze! I was a cop all along! / Robber #1: Don't shoot! I'm an FBI agent. / Robber #2: Nobody move! I'm CIA, and this is a sting operation! / Robber #4: It's... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=0 |
| First Edition | God: ...And next year, we'll re-release them in paperback. / Keywords: Moses God Ten Commandments Book Paperback Hardcover http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=1 |
| Rest In Peace | Obituary: "He died doing what he loved," says wife. / Keywords: Pterodactyl Dinosaur Dock Pier Water Office Chair Newspaper Obituary Dead Death http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=2 |
| Training | Keywords: Boxing Meat Locker Freezer Training Weight Lifting Running Jogging Exercise Rocky Montage Olympics Action Work Out Exercise Medal Award http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=3 |
| Edgy | Mr. Green: What does a cat have in common with a pineapple? / Mr. Blue: Hm... What? / Mr. Green: Neither one can legally drive a bulldozer! / Mr. Blue: ... / Mr. Green: ...Too soon? / The News Daily: Nine Killed In Rampage / Keywords: Cat Pineapple Bad Dirty Offensive Joke Offensive Topical Ne... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=4 |
| A Mug's Life | Mugger: Freeze! (Snowman) / Mugger: No funny business! (Clown) / Mugger: Don't make a sound! (Mime) / Mugger: I'm armed! (Disembodied amputated arm) / Mugger: Don't move a mussel! (Chef seafood) / Mugger: I'm arrrmed! (Pirate hook hand) / Mugger: Don't moove! (Cow) / Mugger: This is a stick-up!... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=5 |
| Big News | Guy: Did you hear what happened? / Girl: No, I didn't! / Guy: Oh, okay. / Keywords: Guest comic, Eddy, Boy, Girl, Stick figures http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=6 |
| Like Rain On Your Wedding Day | To-Do: / [x] Make a list
/ [x] Make a list where "make a list" is ironically an entry
/ [ ] Figure out if entry #2 is proper use of the word "irony" / Keywords: Tasks, ironic, to do list, Bulletin Board, Sticky Note http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=7 |
| Twist Eding | Yellow Guy: "You're an armoire!" / Armoire: "So are you!" / Yellow Guy: "Great, now I'm a hypocrite." / Keywords: Ironic Plot Twist Closet Hypocrisy Furniture http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=8 |
| Nananana | Banana: "Banana!" / Grandma Banana: "Banana Nana!" / Bat Banana: "Banana Nana Nanana Banana Nana Nanana Batman!" / Keywords: Themesong Theme Song Peel Fruit Sing The Dark Knight http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=9 |
| Fools | Robert: Will you marry me? / Green: No. / Green: ...April fools! Of course I'll marry you, Robert! / Robert: April fools! The proposal was a joke! / Green: April fools! I'm already married to Todd! / Todd: April fools! When I proposed to you last year, it was also on April Fool's Day!
/ Green: But... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=10 |
| The Haunting | Ghost: I'm the ghost of your grandfather.
/ Girl: Prove it. Tell me something only my grandpa would know. / Ghost: Montpelier is the capital of Vermont. / Girl: GASP / Keywords: Phantom, Seance, Halloween, Scary, Psychic http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=11 |
| Mirror Scare Variations | Mirror Scare Variations / When you look up from the sink, the mirror reveals a monster behind you. / Keywords: Horror Movie Reflection Cracked Scary Hat Invisible Vampire Spin Around Inappropriate Party College Adulthood Bathroom http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=12 |
| The Other Guy | Girl: Are you okay?!
/ Guy: You should see the other guy! / Girl: He looks much bigger and tougher than you. / Guy: Yep. / Keywords: Beat up, fight, bloody, black eye, suit http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=13 |
| Color-Coded Guide to Bomb Disposal | Colors: Red blue gray white violet ultraviolet colorful papier-mache black yellow bone eggshell pale nimbus off-white steel red steel blue steel blonde rainbow pink indigo burnt sienna turquoise purple and gold stripes black and white pine beige orange baby blue maroon bee / Text: Cut fuse neutral Labor... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=14 |
| Ghouls | Orange: Nice costume, Ted. / Left: Thanks!
/ Orange: Wait. If you're over there... Then who's under that sheet? I must have been talking to... A SERIAL KILLER. / Right: No, I'm just Ted.
/ Orange: But if you're Ted, then that's probably... A REAL GHOST. / Left: Exactly, I'm Ted's ghost. He died over... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=15 |
| Wagers | Green: This means war! / Green: ...I mean, what is war?
/ Alex Trebek: Correct. / Keywords: Jeopardy, Game Show, "La Guerre" in English, French, TV, Daily Double, Money, Wage http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=16 |
| Into The Deep | Green: I have a really sore throat.
/ Blue: It's actually kind of cool. You sound like a radio announcer. / Purple: I have a really sore throat.
/ Orange: It's actually kind of cool. You sound like Batman. / Batman: I have a really sore throat.
/ Alfred: Stop talking, or else you're going to die. / Keywords:... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=17 |
| You And Me | Purple: ...Well yes, I assume?
/ Orange: NOOOOOOOOO DON'T SAY THee-haw. / Keywords: Assumption Ass U Me Donkey Mule Big No Neigh Whinny Horse Yell Transform http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=18 |
| Bruce Bannon, Loose Cannon | Chief: You're off the case, Bannon! Finished! Done! Give me your gun and badge, and get out of my office! You'll never work in this precinct again! / Banner: Happy One-Day-Away-From-Retirement / Bruce: Thanks, Chief! / Keywords: Cop Police Officer Department Cops Retirement Party Surprise Loose Cannon... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=19 |
| The 2011 "Awards for Stuff" Awards | Best Movie: "Take Shelter"
/ AKA "A Serious Man" with all the existential dread replaced by we're-literally-going-to-die-in-an-apocalypse dread.
/ Note: Also winner of the "I Want a Remake Starring Nicolas Cage" Award / 2nd Best Movie: "Drive"
/ Note: Also runner-up of the "I Want a Remake Starring Nicolas... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=20 |
| Masters of Ceremonies | Full-Mast: It's a normal day. / Half-Mast: Someone important died. / Quarter-Mast: Someone even more important died. / Eighth-Mast: The flag-raiser isn't strong enough to lift the flag all the way up. / Zeroth-Mast: The flag-raiser overslept and missed work today. / Negative-Half-Mast: Nuclear apocalypse;... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=21 |
| Match Point | Gladiator: "Remember, you have to win by two." / Keywords: Fight Gladiators Coliseum Rome Roman War Greek Greece Blood Bloody Sword Shield Sandals Half Cut Dead Points Tennis Helmet King Queen http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=22 |
| Highway to Help | Sign: "How's my driving? Call (555) 682-3117
/ Guy: "You're doing a good job!" / Keywords: Truck Car Vehicle Van Steering Wheel Highway Freeway Drive Driving Cellphone Phone http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=23 |
| Only One Day Away | Only one day away from retirement: Shot
/ Only one day away from honeymoon: Stabbed
/ Only one day away from vacation: Slapped
/ Only one day away from three-day weekend: Shoved
/ Only one day away from Casual Friday: Sweater is still at dry-cleaners / Keywords: Cop Police Policeman Detective Retire Killed... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=24 |
| Grizzly | Blue Guy: "Sorry that I got the promotion and you didn't, man. But thanks for taking me out to dinner! Very classy. / Blue Guy: "This soup is cold. Bring me another." / "Revenge is a dish best served by a bear that's wearing a tuxedo in order to blend in with the other waiters until it able to get... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=25 |
| Bass/Fail | Boy: "Dad! I caught something! It's..." / Boy: "...Another fish." / Dad: "It's okay, son. Good effort." / Dad: "But we're still not going home until we find my missing boot." / Keywords: Fishing Trip Boat Lake Pond Ocean Water Father Son Kid Bass Cooler Rod Boots Shoe Lost http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=26 |
| Where There's A Will | Will Lawyer: According to your late uncle's wishes, you must spend all of the inheritance money before you can enjoy a fun night in his awesome haunted mansion. / Boy: But I want to see the ghosts now! / Keywords: Will Dead Death Ghost Uncle Morgue Cemetery Grave Mortician Lawyer Kid Family Father... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=27 |
| 9 Movie Reasons Why You're Bleeding Right Now | Bleeding from your eyes:
/ What Happened: You?re a zombie.
/ Prevention: Stock up on supplies and stay home. / Bleeding from your nose:
/ What Happened: You?ve been time traveling too much.
/ Prevention: Time travel to when you started time traveling and warn yourself not to time travel in the first place. / Bleeding... http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=28 |
| Bucket List | Ice bucket
/ Paint can
/ Milk pail
/ Beach bucket with plastic shovel
/ Bucket of chicken
/ Bucket tractor
/ Charlie Bucket
/ Go skydiving / Keywords: List Dead Dying Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory Skydive Plane Jump Parachute http://defectivity.com/fick/index.php?strip_id=29 |