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230 - shoot for the stars Hey, do you have any important goals for the future? / to punch a bear / That was a very fast response / I think about it a lot / Do you have... BETTER goals? / to become a fisherman! / so I could catch salmon, then use them as bait for a bear, then punch it right in the face! / or to hold the world record...
231 - the test of time 98... 99... 100! / ready or not, here I come! / Are you talking to yourself? / shush, I'm playing hide and seek! / FOUND YOU! / you're getting good, Melinda! / I want to grow old with you / alt: I want to rub all up on you, and make little baby sand grains together / comment: cheating scandals and leaked...
232 - thicker than water MY UNCEL FLETCHER by humphrey (5 and 3/4) / my uncel fletcher is relly nice / he smiles a lot and likes to play / he has a friend caled copernicus / copernicus is mean to fletcher / if i was his frend i wouldn't be mean / i wish copernicus was gon forever / BYE BYE / alt: Gravestones just aren't as meaningful...
233 - wrasslin with the truth COPERNICUS, are you ready for my pro wrestling debut? / sure, I suppose / do real wrestlers draw fake muscles onto their hideous, flabby bodies? / alt: you appear to have some fat leaking out of your eye, hold still while I wipe it off / comment: Fletcherpotomus. Fletchersaurus. Fletcher the Fat Person. / those...
234 - that explains it BARK! BARK! BARK! / BARK BARK BARK! / BARK! BARK! BARK! / BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK / BARK! / trees are covered in bark / alt: this has been Science with Fletcher. Now give me your wallet, because that was not free / comments: words of wisdom in any language; fletcher is wise beyond his years / though...
 
235 - a hero for the ages SILENCE OF THE SOUL: a screenplay by Fletcher / die! / I'm handsome! / PREZ / once upon a time there were aliens and they attacked. "Aliens?!" said the world president. He put on his green tie and grabbed his collection of cool laser guns, and punched the aliends in the face until they all died and then...
236 - a poor understanding of medicine Hey, can I borrow ten dollars? / again? I guess so. / waaait a second / did you ever pay back the ten dollars I gave you last week? / I gave it to YOU! / You swallowed it in front of me, and yelled "money makes my body strong"! / oh yeah, now I remember / soon you will be rippling muscle / alt: he is also...
237 - reign of jeff: part 1 This world will not end by the hand of God, but by that of man. Spurned by humanity, one man will flee to the centre of the world, and rest, and grow strong. / THE END IS NIGH / At the end of it all, the tie-bearer will pass wind with great force, and his clarion call shall pierce heaven and earth, heralding...
238 - reign of jeff: part 2 Warning signs will herald the Dark Lord's approach, and they will be three in number. / First, the natural world will reveal strange hints about what is to come. / LOOK OUT / DANGER TOWNE / POP: YOU / RUN / OH NO / Second, the heavens will fall into chaos, and the world will be plagued by terrible storms. / Woo! / And...
239 - reign of jeff: part 3 Smoke and flame will accompany the dark one's arrival, as the moment of his vengeance draw near. / And yet a hero shall rise, one pure of heart and boring of deed, with the power to send the accursed one back from whence he came / NO. BAD JEFF! / The dark one will fall into madness once more, and his plotting...
 
240 - insert heart to continue Look, I made a robot face! Then I got bored, so... it can't really do anything cool. / Master, no happiness. / No happy forever. Exist is sadness, pain eternal. / for the last time, YOU DON'T HAVE FEELINGS / ...beep beep boop / That's more like it. You can keep your eyes. / alt: no I will not take out your...
241 - mysterious strangers Flotcher + Cornelius in: THE BIG JOKE / Flotcher, do you know how long you will be alive for if I find out you've been taking all of my snacks? / how long, Cornelius? / not very long at all!!! / HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA / You aren't laughing at my joke. Would you like me to...
242 - field research Hi, Copernicus! / Hello. / HYAH! / wh... why? / You felt that? I could have sworn you were perfectly smooth and flat down there. / Like a doll / Well, I learned something today / soon: / we saved all we could... I'm sorry. / alt: we patched it up with animal skin, because this is a veterinary clinic. I hope...
243 - varieties of wild fletcher WONDERS OF THE NATURAL WORLD / "Varieties of Wild Fletcher" / AROOO / Figure 1. - Fletcherwolf / Figure 2. - Anteating Fletcher / Figure 3. - Fletchameleon / Figure 4. - Greater Northern Fletcherbird / alt: a pack of fletcherwolves can tear a man apart in seconds. The alpha wolf then wears his buttocks...
244 - varieties of wild copernicus WONDERS OF THE NATURAL WORLD / "Varieties of Wild Copernicus" / Figure 1. - Lesser Fat-Licking Copernicus / Figure 2. - Lesser Slothful Copernicus / Figure 3. - Lesser Lazy, Good For Nothing Copernicus / stop following me! / Figure 4. - Much Lesser Naked Copernicus Beast / alt: and here we see nature's...
 
245 - do not do them Help, Fletcher! what is happening to the universe? / oh, don't worry. I just drugged you / and then myself. / EVERYTHING is more exciting. Watch! / BLOOD BLOOD BLOODBLO / please make it stop / alt: I do not want to be on these drugs now, please take me off them. I would like to poop out the drugs now please / comment:...
246 - different tastes What are you reading? Is it something dumb? / It's a story about an orphan being raised by stray cats. Very long, but it really makes you think about ISSUES. / A TIME OF PAIN / MUMMY ROMANCE / SO HOT / How about you? Keeping it intellectual, I assume? / It is a magazine about trucks! I like the pictures....
247 - one thing at a time I'm thinking about growing a ponytail. What do you think? / toot / Sorry, what? I wasn't listening / alt: ladies would marry him in a heartbeat; he is the only person in the whole world that suits a ponytail / comment: A ponytail? I've always wanted a horse! / I promise to brush your mane, and keep you...
248 - cooking with copernicus COOKING WITH COPERNICUS / COOK KING / Welcome back! Next up, we're going to combine the flour and sugar in a separate bowl. / COOK / Now combine the two mixtures, and slowly fold in the milk until the batter is smooth! / COOK KING / TOUCHDOWN! / COOK KING / COOK KING / GO FOOTBALL! / alt: he is actually...
249 - false idol Hey Fletcher, have you seen my key- / STAY IN SCHOOL / Fletcher / are... are you worshipping yourself? / no, I'm worshipping a PHOTO of myself. I'm not CRAZY. / What? That isn't any less crazy! If anything it makes you seem- / screw it, I'm out / STAY IN SCHOOL / Fletcher / alt: proper buttock positioning...
 
250 - risk versus reward ...then I'll punch them in the butt over and over, while they pay me in precious gold and silver! / So what do you think? Do you want to invest in my business? / I wouldn't trust you with a single one of my dollars. / even if I spent it on things like... THIS? / "I LOVE FARTS" - COPERNICUS / I only had two...
251 - ignorance is bliss BANG / CRASH / Fletcher, what are you doing? / Nothing! Don't come out here! / OFF / LASERS / it's... a hair straightener / for all of my hair / You know what? I'm just going to believe you this time / thank you / alt: and if you don't believe that... stand over here, right in front of the cannon part / comment:...
252 - cannot unsee They work! My x-ray glasses actually work! / Copernicus, you'll never believe- / alt: won't be needing these any more / comment: After all those failed prototypes, all it took was a ridiculous amount of radiation! / Who would have thought it would be that eas- oh no, my bones melted / tags: x ray x-ray...
253 - kids are big dummos MY UNCLE COPERNICUS / by Maximillian (age 6 1/8) / My uncle is quiet and really nice / he never fites back because he can do "too much damage" / he says its because he has "keys to the nukes" and "knows how to use them" / shhhh! / but I'm not sposed to tell anyone or the govment wil / alt: what he was TRYING...
254 - a minicomic implosion PICKED THE RIGHT GOD / O lord, please bless me with your divine favor! / you are truly a merciful god / SUCH A TRICKSTER / my hand! I burned off my hands with acid! / JUST KIDDING! / I lost them in an industrial accident. / wink / CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE / who, nice burger! what's it made of? / people / FREE...
 
255 - a fistful of minicomics CONVERSATION TOPICS / global economic turmoil / THINK / NOPE / balloons full of fart. / KEEPING TALLY / five... six... seven / seven testicles! / what? I lost one in a motorbike explosion / PUSHED TOO FAR / prepare for... / DUCK FIGHT! / I wouldn't / .... / out of ideas / alt: duck a stone hard killa, you...
256 - why bother asking WET CEMENT / HEADGEAR AT ALL TIMES / Why do I need a hard hat for cement? / LOOK OUT BELOW! / SPLOT / do you even THINK before you / nope / alt: he jumped out of an aeroplane; wet cement is nature's giant fluffy pillow / comment: do you know if a person can survive having their bottom half cut off? / because...
257 - the best defense I'm learning to fight with swords! / that sounds... ominous / Could you help me practice? / I think I'll pass / NOT AN OPTION. DEFEND YOURSELF! / unconventional technique... I like it! / alt: Luckily for you, women love a man covered in prickles. It is what they desire. / comment: I probably would have...
http://www.anticscomic.com/?p=1789 KIDZ KORNER / activity page (ages 3-8) / 1) Draw a cat / 2) Draw a dog / DON'T TOUCH! DON'T! / property of FLETCHER! / WRONG (WAY OFF!) / GAS / CAT / CATS: / HAIRY / LEGS / POINTY EARS? / WEAPONS SYSTEM / TAIL(S?) / I did it! / alt: no no NO, there are not NEARLY enough human skulls decorating these. START...
259 - silent witness oh good, you're awake / You were whispering something about "murderghosts". I'm worried about your mental health! / You heard me WHISPERING? ...Were you already inside my bedroom / don't change the subject / YOU'RE the crazy one here, mister "thirty-seven pairs of underpants" / alt: and do you REALLY need...
 

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