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| 117 - great achievements | unplanned cactus eating competition, LETS GO
/ NNNAAGGGHH NGGGHHARRR
/ finally my father will be proud of me / alt: he never hugged me, but he threw plenty of cacti at me. And in a way, aren't the two basically the same? / comment: my father had to give up his dream of becoming a world champion cactus-muncher when my mother got pregnant
/ instead he became a stupid rock star
/ he always regretted settling for a regular job instead of following his dreams / TAGS: cactus pot competition contest one sided only participant along chew tough snarl rip tear needles tongue pain spikes pins soulful acceptance make daddy proud dad father achievements http://anticscomic.com/?p=625 |
| 118 - the great fletcher-owski-rino-dini | Pick a card, any card! no, not that one / take this one
/ Is it the Queen of hearts? / ...nope
/ CHEATER! / alt: My parents never taught me how to rig card tricks. It was a tough childhood. / comment: if you're going to rig the game you should PROBABLY rig it in your favor
/ if you want to like... win and stuff / TAGS: magic trick playing cards psychic awful unprepared worst cheat ever concentrate fail queen heart anger angry fury toss throw 52 fifty two pickup rude http://anticscomic.com/?p=628 |
| 119 - super convenient | Thank God for adult diapers / alt: It only took three falling-waste-related deaths to teach me the error of my ways. / comment: superpowers don't fix EVERYTHING
/ you still have to make your pees and your poops
/ titanium diapers for waste traveling at the speed of a bullet / TAGS: superhero poop jokes flying tree city town road building cape symbol diamond superman ripoff restroom bathroom pee poo farts hehehe http://anticscomic.com/?p=634 |
| 120 - pot kettle etcetera | You're getting kinda fat / no i'm not!
/ in fact if anything you're heavier than- / fatty fatty fat fat fat
/ Stop that! / no / alt: I'm trying to point out your numerous flaws, SIR. Please do not harrass me at work. / comment: if i didn't stop poking your grandfather's coffin
/ what make you think I'm going to stop poking your stomach?
/ haha,do you remember that? "deady deady dead dead dead"
/ classic / TAGS: fat accuse chubby flab big chunky big boned tease make fun rude awful mean poke mad http://anticscomic.com/?p=637 |
| 121 - CRIME FIXERS: POLICE AID SQUAD | Another case closed! But how did you manage to find the drug shipment?
/ It was simple, once I remembered I'm a psychic billionaire super-sleuth!
/ also that copernicus is a japanese unicorn / hai, sou desu / alt: he was a normal man, until he was hit by a japanese-made truck carrying toxic waste and unicorns / comment: "you two idiots blew up the building you were trying to protect! you're off the case!"
/ "We're being framed, chief! i'm a psychic billionaire, so i don't need bribes or make mistakes
/ and you know copernicus can't make or operate an explosive device!
/ that is very precise work! he has hooves. / TAGS: police crime law and order tv show chair desk note paper chief suit mystery case unsolved psychic mind rich billionaire detective sleuth horse mane horn rainbow flowing locks http://anticscomic.com/?p=642 |
| 122 - spot the difference | - Milk / - those cookies with the little choco / - bread / - THE BOWELS OF THIS DAMNE / WORLD WILL SPLIT ASUNDE / AND THE LORD OF SUFFERING / alt: look not into my multitudinous eyes, but instead the blank visage of your weak friend's meat shell. Do you not feel calmed? / comment: what the heck is wrong with you?
/ only a MONSTER would write a shopping list like this
/ you know damn well that i'm lactose intolerant! / TAGS: note paper book message shopping list cookie chocolate monster satan spawn demon devil monster tentacle beak multiple eyes hideous creature from beyond the depths of hell non-euclidean architecture ia! ia! cthulu fhtagn! http://anticscomic.com/?p=648 |
| 123 - better kept secret | Dear Diary... / Must I always act the / fool to gain the approval of / my peers? Day after day / I debase myself for the / amusement of others; would / they still respect me were / I to reveal my love of opera? / I Fear this feigned ignorance-
/ JOKE / LAUGH I / FUNNY BOY!! / YOU WON'T BE FRICKIN / LAUGHING WHEN I JAM A / PEN IN YOUR DAMN EYE / hold it in Copernicus, you / the sane one, repress it / of those dark thoughts / KILL THEM / BLOOD
/ I think our diaries got mixed up / Yes. Let us never speak of it again.
/ frickin' weirdo / alt: Fletcher knows how to read, he just learned at the wrong angle / comment: oh man talk about your CRAZY character development!!
/ also copernicus ran away from the circus as a child
/ and fletcher is heir to to the throne of Europe-istan, but he is in hiding / TAGS: note letter diary paper pencil eloquent eloquence vocabulary smart opera open book insane crazy mental wacko nutjob psychopath fruitcake murder blood anger hate hatred mix mixup mix-up up swap mistake judgement judgment http://anticscomic.com/?p=652 |
| 124 - gullible's travels | The dude served in forty wars and saved a baby dragon's life! he DESERVED all your money
/ are you SURE he wasn't lying to get money for alcohol? / uhhh...
/ Did this guy have any teeth? / he lost them in a charity accident
/ Did he totally stink of alcohol? / he... he told me it was dragon-elixir!
/ Did he yell "I'M A HOBO, I'M A HOBO, I'M LYING SO THAT YOU'LL GIVE ME MONEY"? / alt: Let's not get hung up on what he did or didn't say. The point is, you're broke and I have no more use for you. / comment: seriously this is becoming a real problem
/ on the way to work today i was seduced by the world's hottest bearded lady
/ i had half my clothes off before i realized it was a hobo casting his hobo spells on me
/ he didn't ask for money, i think he was just lonely / TAGS: hobo veteran war crazy dirty stinky filthy booze homeless dragon potion elixir teeth rot rotten yell lie obvious oblivious dumb stupid worry sweat panic desperate panic http://anticscomic.com/?p=659 |
| 125 - this is how science works | The witch said ladies would love me if I ate it! Monkey finger is surprisingly tasty. And boneless!
/ I don't want to freak you out, but I think she probably fed you the monkey's... thing. The, uh... genitals.
/ are you telling me i just ate a monkey's junk? / almost definitely
/ aaaahhhhhh
/ AAAHHHHHH
/ OOOOH OOH AHH AHH AAAHH / please get off my face / alt: All I can taste is monkey butt, and I don't like it. No sir, I do not like it one bit. / comment: be wary of anyone who tries to give you medicine of any kind
/ odds are that the "medicine" is animal junk in pill or liquid form
/ if you're lucky it'll be gorilla junk and you'll get super strong
/ or panda junk, which will make you cute but badly equipped for survival and reproduction / TAGS: witchcraft crazy magic alternative medicine trickery monkey primate junk wang dong genitals finger paw growing terror horror yell scream screech howl leap tail face hump http://anticscomic.com/?p=666 |
| 126 - life will be better now | Halloween time! Check out my sweet murderer costume
/ Not funny, dude! My childhood dog was killed by a murderer. / a DOG murderer
/ soon: / Okay, hopefully a fairy princess costume is a bit less offensive?
/ My mother was eaten alive by a fairy, you insensitive jackass!
/ Now you're just making stuff up. Fairies are imaginary, dude! / so am i
/ MAGIC IS REAL! / alt: But apparently your sense of style ISN'T real. Do you really think you have the figure to pull off that outfit? / comment: got that halloween FEVER
/ gonna eat my own weight in sugar, then feel bad about my life and the choices i have made
/ gonna cry myself to sleep in a clown costume and have sad clown nightmares / TAGS: halloween costume outfit fancy dress murderer killer scar knife cleaver butcher vest rip blood handle blade dog wand star tiara crown diamond jewel gem wings tutu pink skirt anger mad imaginary imagination fake real magical leap fly monster creature dragon hoof hooves horns bat claws http://anticscomic.com/?p=669 |
| 127 - long past due | You know who I really hate? / Hippies
/ god i just hate them SO MUCH
/ yeah, they are kinda gross / wait, what? I thought YOU were a hippie
/ not any more! I'm a warlock now / oh. okay then
/ seriously i just hate warlocks SO FRIGGIN MUC- / ZAP
/ Okay okay, I'm sorry. Could I please have my skin back? / also my junk / alt: the organs are more trouble than they're worth, you can keep those / comment: skeletons do not have genitals! weird
/ do skeletons start finding differently shaped male/female bones attractive when the various "junks" are absent?
/ these are the questions that keep me awake at night / TAGS: hippie hippy dirty stinky smelly peace loving monsters hate hatred for no reason inexplicable rude warlock wizard magic zap pink lightning wrap transform bones skeleton ribs ribcage spine http://anticscomic.com/?p=674 |
| 128 - survival instincts | Why are you standing so close to me? Kinda creepy, dude. / I'm conserving heat!
/ We're completely lost and alone in an arctic blizzard, remember? / oh yeah
/ I know we need to huddle close together for warmth, but it still seems a little bit... embarrassing
/ Don't get all self-conscious, we're MILES away from anybody else! Plus your choices are hug or die. / ...i guess so
/ GAAAAAAYYYY / alt: the seal passes no judgment, that is simply its mating call / comment: why the frig does the seal pop up whenever we awkwardly touch each other's bodies?
/ like when our feet accidentally touched under the table, and he said it made us both foot-pregnant
/ i'll grab my harpoon, then you grab my butt; we need to take this seal out ASAP / TAGS: arctic antarctica blizzard snowstorm snowing ice cave frozen below zero freeze huddle hug squeeze conserve conservation live struggle warmth drift global warming gay seal sea lion sea-lion homophobic homophobia gay homoerotic childish insults rude potential porn film meme http://anticscomic.com/?p=678 |
| 129 - stretched too thin | Whoa, what's up with your head? / What? My head is the same as ever
/ But it's all... gross and flattened / oh right, that. I've lost weight!
/ Don't people usually lose weight from... you know, their BODIES? / sure, DUMB people do
/ I sold my skull to a skull dealer! I lost a bunch of head-weight, AND made a bunch of money.
/ You realise you need your skull to protect your brain, right? You don't need MORE damage. / okay fine, i'll buy it back from him!
/ soon: / Is it just me, or does it seem a little bit more POINTY than usual / alt: also I don't remember my skin ripping at the slightest touch at any point before this / comment: wait did you get a new haircut?
/ something seems different about you! in a good way i mean
/ did you get your horns sharpened? maybe that's it / TAGS: flat head football head hey arnold squashed flattened gross hideous skull dealer bone merchant curio collector freak show weight loss lose fat brain damage goat skull monster stretch skin horns pointy sharp teeth jaw broken http://anticscomic.com/?p=683 |
| 130 - invasion of privacy | Hey, have you been stealing my mail? I haven't had any lately / ...nope
/ MR COPER NICUS
/ My... my name also happens to be Copernicus, and- oh fine i took it
/ You opened a crate as well?! This is probably MY box full of-
/ ...sexy finger puppets? I didn't order any sexy finger puppets / alt: Ew, a blonde one? I didn't order- uhh, what I meant to say was that finger puppets are not at all erotic / comment: ladies please, there is no need to panic!
/ i can satisfy ten of you at a time
/ you know i love you all, we can make this work / TAGS: mail theft postal thievery rude stealing stolen felony crime awful tear envelope package letter opening lying identity crate wooden box finger puppet sexy blond blonde brunette black hair green blue red dress skirt top blouse ponytail long shame embarrassed bite lip panic hiding secret fetish kink http://anticscomic.com/?p=688 |
| 131 - master of word things | Fletcher Fletcherson, you stand accused of insurance fraud and conspiring to commit polygamy
/ I understand you have chosen to represent yourself; you may now present your defense argument
/ Good morning, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
/ butts.
/ I rest my case.
/ soon: / hahaha, "butts" / alt: Everyone knows that you need to spend a week in prison for every extra wife you want! It's just basic common sense / comment: haha did you hear me say "butts", stabby jack?
/ what are you doing with that sharpened turkey bone?
/ are you going to carve the word "butts" into the wall?? / TAGS: judge court hammer gavel suit tie bench desk pulpit stand gold robes defense defence law and order lawyer butts buttocks bottoms bums pride proud bad judgement judgment jail bar cell mattress bed roommate stabby jack scar jumpsuit orange uniform relax possible shanking turkey bone shiv http://anticscomic.com/?p=692 |
| 132 - quiet reflection | are you actually MEDITATING? / indeed I am!
/ OOOOOOOMMMMM
/ OOOOMMMM
/ OOOOOO
/ soon: / SO relaxing / alt: I should be mad about the plank in my chest, but I actually feel kind of warm and sleepy. I'm just going to close my eyes for a little while / comment: if you think THAT is relaxing
/ you should have seen it when i TRIED to radiate destructive beams of pure energy
/ that town does not exist any more; those people can never be brought back / tags: buddhism buddhist buddha religion meditate meditation meditating float floating magic house wall break smash plank ray sun glow destruction closed eyes http://anticscomic.com/?p=696 |
| 133 - the ultimate question | I bought cupcakes! Do you want strawberry, or chocolate? / hmm...
/ HMMMMMM
/ AHH this choice is too hard! WHY GOD, WHY MUST I CHOOSE?!
/ could i please have some time to think this over a bit more / sure, I guess so
/ 1000 year later: / I see it now, "choice" is only an illusion. The only true path is the one that leads to enlightenment / I choose chocolate
/ human heat signature detected. activating flesh deletion beam / did you get a haircut / alt: flesh beam error: beard jam detected / comment: chocolate or strawberry? life or death? good or evil?
/ if you open your mind, you will realize they are the same question / tags: cupcake cake snack food robot future strawberry chocolate choice impossible decision stall stalling stress millenium willenium laser death beam beard wise enlightenment nirvana http://anticscomic.com/?p=700 |
| 134 - the ravages of time | I'm volunteering at the old folks home! You wanna come along? / old people are gross!
/ You'll change your mind about that once YOU get old
/ ...what
/ Everybody gets old eventually, dude. Even you!
/ WHAT?!
/ TELL ME HOW TO MAKE BOTOX / um- / NOW
/ soon: / I AM SO PRETTY / alt: One look in the mirror is enough to make me forget that I can't feel my own skin. Or heat, or love. or anything other than searing pain. / comment: NOW PUT THE BOTOX IN MY BUTT
/ JUST... JUST PUT IT ALL UP IN THERE / tags: panel speech bubble old people folk home age ravage horror botox plastic surgery mirror mistake hideous ugly beautiful fabulous http://anticscomic.com/?p=709 |
| 135 - feared and respected | eeeww, a bug
/ NOOOO!
/ you can't just CRUSH bugs, that's awful!
/ you need to EAT them in order to gain their power
/ KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD / alt: look upon my bug-covered lips, ye mighty, and despair / comment: why... why are you not kneeling?
/ don't make me eat more bugs
/ i'll do it! don't make me do it! / tags: bug foot crush gross stomp dive hero heroic heroism save eat gross crunch chew bite slurp ooze dangle teeth god divine absorb http://anticscomic.com/?p=716 |
| 136 - perfect catch | I'm gonna drink this bottle of hot sauce so girls will think I'm cool!
/ I don't think it works like- ah screw it, you never listen anyway
/ LETS DO THIS- AAHH OH GOD
/ ow ow ow it's in my eyes, make it stop! AAHHH CALL A DOCTOR
/ SO COOL / alt: Full back tattoo? Anyone? Anyone? / comment: not pictured:
/ dinosaur on fire
/ walrus atop mountain of drugs
/ late pope john paul II, mid guitar solo / tags: hot sauce chili chili pepper tabasco jalapeno sriracha stain face ow eyes burn pain searing agony sunglasses cool america american flag usa skull sword dagger knife shake skating skateboard skater headband monster truck rainbow awesome radical extreme http://anticscomic.com/?p=721 |
| 137 - a thorough understanding | Why is it so dang HOT? / I dunno, maybe global warming?
/ ...global warming? / you know, carbon dioxide, planet getting warmer?
/ SHARK
/ it's too hot in the ocean!!!
/ RARR / evolution
/ AAHHH, SHARK LEGS!! / alt: I am not scared of sharks, I am scared that the idea of a shark with man legs kind of gets me going / comment: i got my science degree from Science Town University and it is LEGITIMATE
/ no wait don't look at it
/ okay fine it's the label from a can of beans
/ are you happy now? now that you have hurt my feelings? / tags: drawing imagination thought bubble crazy evolution shark mammal evolve hairy legs manly beach umbrella scary chase yell dumb idiot stupid book coffee spill lap hot carbon dioxide greenhouse effect wait time http://anticscomic.com/?p=724 |
| 138 - cat hontest | heck yeah, time for the annual hat contest! I am SO gonna win / um-
/ Hat. / Contest.
/ You know you can talk to me, right? If you have any ...secret habits?
/ what are you talking about / alt: Live coverage of Fart City Butthogs vs. Pantyville Rumphuggers; brought to you by nobody / comment: oh did you say HAT contest?
/ i thought you said "slowly and awkwardly reveal your sexual kinks to your friend"
/ boy, is my face red
/ (because of all the rouge) / tags: hat contest annual australia hat cork outback fruit carmen banana pineapple grape watermelon coconut apple orange lime snake necklace pearl handbag bow fart city butthogs cap slut wig bra padded mini miniskirt lipstick eyelashes mascara makeup skank ho belt fetish habit kink reveal http://anticscomic.com/?p=729 |
| 139 - fighting boredom | PUNCH FIGHT
/ ...KICK FIGHT
/ KRAK
/ FRIENDS 4EVA / alt: Friendship tip: it isn't a real friendship until you damage each others' brains beyond repair / comment: yeah, the dude just jumped right out of the alley and punched me right in the mouth!
/ i told him i was flattered and all, but i just don't think of men in that way
/ but he had already left and then i couldn't find my wallet / tags: punch fight kick bash beat up break face nose teeth blood bleed bloody thumbs up best friends fwiends bffs swollen nut nards nads testicles intense closeup close up challenge faceoff http://anticscomic.com/?p=733 |
| 140 - philosophical discourse | It just doesn't work like that! / why?
/ because... because the world doesn't function that way! / why?
/ IF YOU SAY "WHY" ONE MORE TIME, I WILL LOSE ALL FAITH IN HUMANITY / I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR
/ ...why?
/ Because... I have never really HAD any faith in "humanity". I have no idea why, though. / perhaps I am... not human?
/ BLUUUUGLGHLGGH / WHYYYY / alt: why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why / comment: why does every debate end up with one or both of us turning out to be aliens/monsters
/ you'd think it would only happen once
/ i guess not though! / tags: question annoying annoyance perseverance irritation irritating pester bother humanity human alien slime monster beast gross hideous ew smarmy fear terror horror scared http://anticscomic.com/?p=739 |
| 141 - uncontrollable urges | DO NOT PRESS
/ DO NOT PRESS / SERIOUSLY, IT WILL OPEN A BLACK HOLE AND KILL EVERYONE
/ TOTALLY NOT MY FAULT / alt: why did they have to make it RED? I can't not press a RED button. / comment: by the way, i have always loved yooooooouuuuu-
/ -r taste in shirtssss / tags: temptation tantalus out of bounds unobtainable eve adam serpent eden button big red press black hole wormhole warp tunnel suck huge disaster catastrophe armageddon apocalypse http://anticscomic.com/?p=742 |
| A Very Antics Christmas | my, what a large sack you have
/ TOYS
/ MERRY XMAS from Antics / alt: Guess what I got! Hint: it's these sweet new boobs / comment: hey everybody, merry christmas! or if that ain't your thing, then happy holidays!
/ and if you don't like holidays, then i hope you enjoy your day
/ and if you don't like kind thoughts being directed at you, then go eff yourself! / tags: xmas christmas holidays hannukah toys sack presents julie sky whale reindeer antlers fly santa claus elf boobs breasts jugs melons sweater cows boots belt hat buckle snow http://anticscomic.com/?p=746 |
| 142 - never leave him alone | hey, have you seen my giant chocolate statue of myself? I can't fin-
/ did... did you eat the whole thing? how are you ALIVE?
/ choccc... liiiiiiitttt...
/ ehhhleghleeeehh / alt: chocolate is too dangerous, even his EYES are obese / comment: not cool man, that was a gift from my mom!
/ yes my mom is crazy
/ what do you mean, "in the sack"?
/ ew no, shut up / tags: chocolate hershey cadbury poop lick smear choc gross hideous obese fat slimy monster tubby fall rotund feast eat greedy caught red handed flop pathetic pity http://anticscomic.com/?p=752 |
| 143 - mark your calendar | oh my gosh, do you know what day it is today? DO YOU? / nope!
/ knife day!
/ what... what is that? I have no idea what you're talking about
/ KNIFE DAY!
/ GET YOUR KNIFE HELMET READY
/ KNIFE DAAAYY / alt: a sword is just a big knife, right? it totally counts / comment: knife day is that special time in a boy's life
/ when he is horribly injured by a storm of deadly knives raining from above / tags: knife day special holiday butter butcher carving dagger throwing katana sword hat magnet oblivious shout repeat not helping helpful rain storm deadly death torrent flood http://anticscomic.com/?p=758 |
| 144 - wants and needs | man, you REALLY need to learn how to flush
/ and YOU need to make me a friggin' sandwich
/ that isn't the same thing at all! You can't make me-
/ not even if I have... your magic lamp?
/ wh- where did you get that from?
/ I COMMAND YOU TO MAKE ME SANDWICHES / NOOOOO-
/ psyche! I'm not a genie, and magic isn't real / aw man / alt: and while I'm wrecking things for you, that growth on your privates is NOT normal / comment: i will still make you a sandwich though
/ because that is a very expensive lamp, and i would like it back please / tags: genie lamp flush poop fart butt sandwich gold treasure wish command aladdin magic power bummer sad truth rude worry indentured servitude custom comic commission http://anticscomic.com/?p=788 |
| 145 - the wonders of nature | so, what do you think of my sweet new parrot?
/ Not a fan, sorry! Parrots kind of freak me out.
/ YOU KNOW LITTLE OF OUR KIND, COPERNICUS
/ seriously, that isn't normal! animals shouldn't do that!
/ WHO IS A PRETTY BOY / you are / alt: okay it just got really attractive; I like it now / comment: stop "rabbiting" on, I can hardly "bear" it!!
/ you must be "horse" from all of the "snake" "rhinoceros" "dog"!
/ wait, none of that has anything to do with parrots
/ disregard it all / tags: parrot pet bird cockatoo beak feathers mimic scary freaky animal creepy concerned worried worry anthropomorphism stare pure terror http://anticscomic.com/?p=797 |