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| Minor Detail | Tim: Y'know, Tix, I bet Vznyk can sort this.
/ Tix: Who the bleep is "Vznyk?" / Tim:Vzynk is the remote contract admin from Albania or Ukraine--one of those places. But not for long.
/ Tix: No? / Tim: I just told him he would eventually be replaced by you. (Local factor, y'know.)
/ Tix: And it... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/02/15/minor-detail/ |
| Losing Her Mind | Tix: Ah a walk with the dog always stimulates the creative glands. / Off-frame voice: Hey Tix, we wanna see you naked!
/ Tix: Huh? Who was that? / Tix: I'm in the middle of a huge dog park, and no one is here. Did I imagine that or... No! / Tix: I'm nor deluded enough to think that anyone from... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/02/23/losing-her-mind/ |
| Empty Nester | Tix: What's the best thing about being an empty nester? / Marilyn: That would have to be the freedom to say "fuck" whenever I feel like it. / Marilyn: And my life being the cluster fuck that it is, I feel like it quite frequently! http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/02/25/empty-nest/ |
| Embrace thy suckage | The dude: You people SUCK! You are the suckiest bunch of losers. Well, OK, let's suck some more. A one, a two, a one two three... / Luke: {{playing the piano}} / The dude: Yo! Way rockin' piano solo, Luke! / Luke: Why thank you. I guess I just embraced my suckage. http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/02/26/embrace-thy-suckage/ |
| Qaddafi goes down | Qadaffi: I will die a martyr... / Narrator: Correction: You will die a deluded geezer trying to look like Che Guevara http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/02/28/qadaffi-goes-down/ |
| If humans were like electronics | Marilyn: Oh fuck! I have the VAGX-500 socket and you have the PNS-400 mini. Unless you have the adapter, this isn't going to work. http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/01/if-humans-were-like-electronics/ |
| A visit to Dad's | Tix: Crap I forgot my toothpaste. I'll just steal a little of Dad's. / [[Tix is on fire and in serious pain]] / [[Tube of Capzasin]] Ay Ay Ay ?El dolor! http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/07/a-visit-at-dads/ |
| Ass Wednesday | Tix: Hey aren't you Harvey from Addanac City?
/ Harvey: Wha? / Harvey: Pleased to meet you, Tix. [[poking finger at Tix's forehead]] Say, you have a little dirt on your face.
/ Tix: Dude, that's ashes. It's Ash Wednesday. / Harvey: Ass Wednesday, you say? It does look like someone wiped their... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/09/ass-wednesday/ |
| The simple secret to being an awesome musician | The Dude: [[on promo on computer screen]] Want to stop sucking? Learn my simple secret. No charts. It's simple. Only $19.95 / Eric: Wow the dude is selling the secret to being a great musician for only $19.95. [[poink: BUY. poink: Download]] / The Dude: [[on computer, in download]] PRACTICE... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/11/simple-secret-to-being-a-great-musician/ |
| Trapped in the vault | Tix: [[while out jogging with Vipey]] If I was visiting someone at a bank and the vault was wide open I would soooo wander in and get myself trapped when they locked up for the night. / Tix: [[turning blue in fantasy bubble]] Good thing that didn't happen to me* because A) no one would have missed... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/23/trapped-in-the-vault/ |
| Comic for Japan | Cogs: [[some Korean stuff]]
/ Tix: What are you doing?
/ Cogs: I'm learning Japanese so I can go to Japan and help the earthquake victims. / Tix: That doesn't sound like any anime movie I ever saw.
/ Park: Hey Cogs, if you're trying to swear in Korean, you're making a bags of it! / Tix: Maybe... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/27/comic-for-japan/ |
| Harp Abuse! | Ed: [[looking at harp on repair bench]]Poor baby! These pedals have taken a beating! / Ed: What on earth have you been doing to this poor thing?
/ Susan: A little Monk here and there?! / Ed: [[punching on mobile phone]]Well that does it! I'm calling the SPCH and putting this in a home for abused ... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/03/29/harp-abuse/ |
| Sexually Active | Pete Meyer: Sooooo... Question 7: Are you sexually active?
/ Tix: Uh yes. / Pete Meyer: What do you do?
/ Tix: [[very embarrassed]] Usually just copulation but sometimes we get a little kinky. / Pete Meyer: Haha, No, no, I meant what do you do for a LIVING? http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/04/06/sexually-active/ |
| Blown Away | Tix: Look at this Cogs! You can induce mating behavior in the Brazilian fig iguana by sticking a striped pole in the water. / Cogs: Ha! What a loser to fall for such a blatant fake! / [[Later]]
/ Harold: {holding package containing blow up sex doll} Package for Mr. Cogsley! http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/04/10/blown-away/ |
| Lack of Transparency | Tix: Sure I'd love to chat about recycling over coffee! / Tix: [[pictures about recycling, bicycles and sunlight]]
/ Darcy: You know, you'd make a perfect distributer for Kangen Water. Very environmental! / Tix: [[splutters coffee]] Say WHAT? / [[Tix very very pissed off]] http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/04/13/lack-of-transparency/ |
| Medicine is sexy? | Dr. Pete Meyer: You might think being a doctor was sexy. All those naked ladies... / Dr. Pete Meyer: In reality, the sight of most of those bare old sick asses makes me want to run screaming. / Dr. Pete Meyer: And the rare hot ones... / Dr. Pete Meyer: ...only want me for the drugs http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/04/21/medicine-is-sexy/ |
| Booty Rash | Marilyn: What's wrong Tix?
/ Tix: I saw Doc Pete this afternoon for my ass rash.
/ Marilyn: So? / Tix: He didn't even look at it. I even volunteered to drop my drawers. After all that yoga. Am I losing it, Marilyn? / Marilyn: Hell no. Your ass is smokin'. That doc prolly just didn't want to... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/04/26/booty-rash/ |
| Damage Control | Tix: [[thought bubble]] When did this stop being skin care and start being damage control? http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/04/30/damage-control/ |
| Too Much Info | Tix: Dude, I'm a little confused by this leadsheet. / The Dude: Oh that's just a I VI II V, yeah you repeat it twice with 4 bars in between, except the third time when you skip these bars, and you double the section here, and right there is when you transition to minor and stick in the V7 chord, except... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/05/09/too-much-info/ |
| Happy Birthday Son! | Mom: Happy Birthday, son! [[big slobby son in wife beater drinking beer]] / Mom: Isn't it great that we get to spend this day together every year! EVERY SINGLE YEAR! No other friends? STILL? / Mom: Alrighty then. Here are the hats. http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/11/11/happy-birthday-son/ |
| The Rapture that Wasn't | {Phone is ringing}
/ Susan: Tix, could you please get that? I'm in the middle of changing Sammy! / Tix: Hello, this is Susan's phone, Tix speaking.
/ Marilyn: [[on phone]] Oh hey Tix, I need to talk to Susan about her PC.
/ Tix: She'll be available in a sec. Hey Susan, it's Marilyn! / Tix: Hey... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/12/17/the-rapture-that-wasnt/ |
| Grow a Vagina | Disembodied voice: The human testicles can be seriously damaged by a mere 4 lb./in^2 of force. / Disembodied voice: The average human hand can deliver a force of 60 lb./in^2. / Darlene: Ergo, if you want to tell someone to toughen up, tell them to "grow a vaj." / Darlene: Those things can take... http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/12/24/grow-a-vagina/ |
| Facebook Nuance | Tix: Did you see how rude Zach treated me yesterday? Who the hell does he think he is, anyway? / Susan: I notice you're still Facebook friends, though. / Tix: But defriending him would be letting on I give a shit. http://comix.dorkage.net/2011/12/31/facebook-nuance/ |
| Happiness is... | Tix: {{thinking}} If my husband were more romantic.... If I could play Rachmaninov's third piano concerto....if my kids were more respectful...If I could just lose these 6KG...if I just made $3 an hour more.... I'd be happy. / Doris: {{thinking, on toilet}} If I could just...oh...oh..... (wait for... http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/01/07/happiness-is/ |
| Murphy's Law: Dog Turd Corollary | Tix: [[thought bubble]] Ha! I have combed this garden and there is NO WAY there can be any more dog turds. / Tix: [[thought bubble]] Oh. Except THAT way. {{while stepping in a dog turd}} http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/01/16/murphys-law-dog-turd-corollary/ |
| The Tip Fairy? | Tix: Please, put a tip in the tip jar and we might get a visit from the tip fairy. / [[Joey Bob tosses in a tip]]Tix: [[offstage]] Thank you. / Joey Bob: [[instantly grows a giant pair of moobs]] Hey! WTF? / Lulu: [[into phone]]No, you idiot! I said the TIP fairy. With a "P" http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/02/10/the-tip-fairy/ |
| Sexual Blame | Geoffrey: Doctor I've lost interest in having sex with my wife. WTF is wrong with her? / Paloma: Doctor, my husband has lost interest in having sex with me. What is wrong with me? http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/02/20/sexual-blame/ |
| Be careful what you wish for | William: I wish I could just do nothing and there would be people to wait on me hand and foot. / [[30 years later]] Sally the nursing home aide: Here, honey, have some more oatmeal, then we'll check your diaper. http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/03/22/be-careful-what-you-wish-for/ |
| The Macarena | Tix: I HATE "Macarena", Rey! It's insipid!
/ Rey: We'll have it knocked in 20 minutes.
/ Tix: OK, 20 minutes. / [[at the gig, later]]
/ Crowd: Macarena! Macarena! Play Macarena! http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/04/09/the-macarena/ |
| Spurious Medical Tests | Pete Meyer: I'm sorry to say, Mrs. Teagarten, but you have maybe six months to live. / Haley: Well, that was exciting! Now who's up for a pap smear? http://comix.dorkage.net/2012/04/16/spurious-medical-tests/ |