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Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Another Interview {{Edmund's Journal: The owner of the executioner theme park asked me to run a few interviews.}} / [[Edmund and Hugo sit behind a desk, with an executioner applicant on the other side.]] / Applicant: Here's my resume! / [[Edmund looks at the resume.]] / Edmund: Well, you certainly have experience in this field. What got you into it? / [[A flashback scene where a baby holds a large axe with a huge smile on his face.]] / Applicant: The first present I ever remember getting as a child was a shiny, razor-sharp axe.]] / Applicant: Ever since then, I knew I'd spend my life working with axes. / Edmund: Why not become a lumberjack? / [[The applicant shrugs.]] / Applicant: Trees are harmless! Why chop trees when I chop people?! / Edmund: To make useful things, like paper. / Applicant: You mean there's a reason I should make paper out of trees instead? / [[Edmund drops the papers.]] / ~~~ / {{Edmund's Journal: We put him on meat slicer duty at the food court.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/09/27/another-interview/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - A Message [[Edmund and Hugo stand in the office, a man stands in the doorway.]] / Hugo: Interviews are over. / Man: Oh, I'm not here for an interview. I bring you a message. / Man: ...And it's right outside that window! / [[An adorable puppy looks in through the window.]] / [[Hugo and Edmund look fondly at the window.]] / Hugo: Awww! / Man [[Running]]: No no that's not it! / [[The man stands at the window while the puppy runs away.]] / Man: Shoo puppy shoo! / [[The man points at a hearse-shaped carriage, led by a skeleton horse and a ghostly chauffeur.]] / Man: Dang it, I had this spooky chauffeur all ready to ominously beckon you and that puppy ruined the mood! / Hugo: Sorry. Hey houw about you redo it and we'll pretend it's the first run? / Man: Really, you'd do that? Okay, here goes... {Ahem}... / Man: ...right outside that win- / [[Man looks incredulous.]] / Man: Aw, come one!! / [[The ghostly chauffeur has a huge smile on his face, while the puppy plays at his feet.]] / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: I made him feel at ease by reasoning that there's no way to prove that puppy didn't slaughter several people on the way over.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/09/30/a-message/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - An Invitation [[The chauffeur reads a paper.]] / Chauffeur: Dear sir of madam... / [[Edmund and Hugo stand next to a carriage.]] / Chauffeur: "Come ride this carriage, if you dare; the ending place you know not where." / Edmund: Is it a murder mystery mansion? / [[The chauffeur looks vexed.]] / Chauffeur: What-- How did you know?! / [[Edmund points at the paper, which has a depiction of a house on the back.]] / Edmund: You poem seems to be on the back of the mansion's letterhead. / Chauffeur: Hah! Wow. Embarrassing. To be honest, we've never been really good at the whole "mystery" thing. / Chauffeur: Heh, I guess the only *real* mystery is how on Earth we keep managing to make any money! / Hugo: Haha, maybe just stealing guests' money as they sleep, right? Heh. / [[The chauffeur stares at Hugo.]] / [[The chauffeur looks dejected.]] / Chauffeur: Now there are no mysteries.
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/04/an-invitation/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - A Carriage Ride [[The ghostly carriage rides off.]] / [[Edmund sits in the backseat.]] / [[Edmund stares at a man all seated in the carriage.]] / Man: How many licks does it take to get to the footsie bone center of a footsie pop? / [[The man holds up his foot.]] / Man: Let's find out. / [[The man starts to lick his foot.]] / Man: One. / Man: Twohoooooo / Man: Thrrreeeee / [[The man bites his foot.]] / <> / [[The man holds his foot, looking at Edmund.]] / Man: Three. / Man: ...this isn't *my* foot. / Edmund: I honestly can't decide if that makes it more disturbing or less. / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: It made me wonder about our mode of transportation... though I've never heard of a horse pop.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/07/a-carriage-ride/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Pulled Over [[The ghost carriage moves down the road. Another carriage comes up behind it.]] / <> / Policeman: Sir, are you aware that your horse is expired? / Chauffeur: Yeah... um, I was going to get a new one this weekend. / Policeman: Looks like it's been expired for quite a while. / Chauffeur: How about a warning, Officer? / Policeman: Perhaps. / Chauffeur: 'Round these parts, late at night, a *demon* rides across the hills, to and from a realm whose name would turn your tongue to *brimstone* if you dared utter it... / Chauffeur: It a man disrupts its passage, it could unhinge its jaws, extract that man's *soul* in a twisting spiral and eviscerate the rest until all that remains is the screaming, screaming, *screaming*. / [[The policeman stares.]] / Policeman: Oh... well thanks for the warning. / [[The ghost carriage rides off.]] / Chauffeur: Don't mention it. / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: He just really didn't want to have to endure a trip to the DMV.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/11/pulled-over/
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/14/riding-on/?utm_source=scribol.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=scribol.com">http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/14/riding-on/?utm_source=scribol.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=scribol.com [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Knock Knock [[Edmund's Journal: I soon got the feeling that the chauffeur dropped me off at the wrong address...]] / [[Edmund stands at the gates of a large mansion.]] / <> / [[A large man with a mask, apron, and chainsaw, looks like leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, answers the door. He is covered in blood.]] / Man: Pardon my appearance. I was just making a vat of marinara sauce and I couldn't find the big spoon, so dumb ol' me tied using this chainsaw to mix it instead, and, of course, it prayed sauce all over my apron and then I massacre'd a bunch of people. So what's up? / Edmund: Um.. do you know the quickest way away from here? / [[Man points to a a forest off in the distance.]] / Man: I don't usually go anywhere, but when I chase people with chainsaws they tend to run that way. / Edmund: Is that a good escape route? / [[Man points into the house.]] / Man: I'm not sure. You can come into my cellar and ask them if you want. / Man: ...so I guess their answer would be "no"... / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: Judging by his apron, I was doubting they'd say much of anything.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/21/knock-knock/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Waiting for a Cab [[Edmund's Journal: It may not have been the best idea to trust the chainsaw maniac's offer to call me a cab, but my only other option was wandering the woods...]] / [[Edmund sits on a couch in a beat-up house. Two eyes peek around the corner.]] / [[A woman slides onto the couch next to Edmund and pokes Edmund on the shoulder.]] / Woman: Are there a lot of people out tonight? / Edmund: A few unruly fellows. Have you been out? / Woman: ...I don't go out much. I have a lot of scabs. / Edmund: Oh, and you're self-conscious about them? / Woman [[yelling]]: No! I'm proud of them! / [[The woman holds up a box labelled "My Pretties".]] / Woman: I just need to make sure nobody steals them back... / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: She asked if I'd like to contribute to the collection, but I politely told her that I had to throw up.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/25/waiting-for-a-cab/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - No Cab [[Edmund's Journal: I grew increasingly uncomfortable in the chainsaw maniac's house...]] / [[Edmund sits on a couch. Eyes and creatures poke out everywhere.]] / Edmund: May I ask if you've called a cab yet? / Maniac: I did, but when they answered I massacre'd the phone. / Edmund: Why'd you massacre a phone? / Maniac: Well, sometimes, when I hear a human voice, I can inexplicably snap and just hack the source of the sound into a bubbling pulp. / Maniac: ...Oh, but I did find directions to a nearby bus stop if you want that instead. / [[The maniac stares at Edmund.]] / Maniac: ...do you? / Maniac: ...do you? / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: That explained the ventriloquist with the injured hand I saw in the other room.
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/28/no-cab/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Walking at Night [[Edmund comes across some tick-or-treaters dressed in a long cloak. One boy's head sticks out of the top of the coat, while another head peeks out from the middle of the coat.]] / [[The boys take off the coat to reveal a man with no torso, only 6 heads stacked on top of each other.]] / [[Edmund runs away from the man-with-many-heads.]]
http://eqcomics.com/2011/10/31/walking-at-night/
 
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - After Halloween [[Edmund comes across a man standing in front of a graveyard. Jack-o-lanterns line either side of the graves.]] / Edmund: Hello, sir! / Man: ssshhh... Some respect, please. / Man [[looking over his shoulder]]: Every Halloween, millions of pumpkins are carved into human-like visages and simply tossed into the garbage to rot afterward. / [[The man cradles a jack-o-lantern.]] / Man: I collect them, and give them backstories and proper burials so the world doesn't seem quite so cold. / [[The man holds the jack-o-lantern towards Edmund. The jack-o-lantern has 3 eyes.]] / ManL This is Grant. He has three eyes and liked to paint wildlife. I can sometimes hear him whispering to me at night. / [[The man holds up a different jack-o-lantern. This one has 3 snakes as "hair".]] / Man: This one is Abigail. She and I had a seven-year relationship but she decided her career was more important and she has snake hair. / [[The man gives the jack-o-lantern a slobbery kiss.]] / <> / [[The man holds up a third jack-o-lantern with sharp, pointed teeth.]] / Man: Boy, isn't this creepy? / Edmund: You mean the pumpkin? / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: I admit that his tribute performance of 'Candle In The Wind' was fitting.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/11/04/after-halloween/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Pre-owned Candy [[Edmund comes across a booth labelled "Pre-Owned Candy".]] / [[A sleazy used-car-salesman-looking guy leans on the booth.]] / Salesman: I see you've got your eye on that bucket of candy corn. She's a beaut, isn't she? / Edmund: I'm just looking. / Salesman: Look, I can tell you're a no-nonsense kind of guy. How about we cut to the chase abd you take the bucket off my hands for ten bucks, and I'll throw in a case of circus peanuts 'cause I like ya. / Edmund: No, thank you. / Salesman: Ya know, just because trick-or-treaters threw this candy out in favor of the chocolate stuff doesn't make this candy *bad*! / Edmund: I don't disagree, it's just that if I ate that much candy I'd likely get sick and throw up. / [[The salesman points to a pot with a sign above it saying, "Used Candy". A sign underneath says "$1/qt".]] / Salesman: Then you could take advantage of our buyback program! / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: It would have been convenient at that moment for me if they had a used lunch buyback program.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/11/08/pre-owned-candy/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Fall Routine [[Edmund comes across a little boy on a stage. A sign says, "Billy's stand up <--]] / [[Billy stands on the stage, a microphone in hand. He wears a tie and his shirt is untucked. He points at some leaves falling from a nearby-tree.]] / Billy: And why do they call these "leaves"? I mean, they come down *to* us- they oughta call 'em "arrives," am I right? / [[Several children sit in the audience. They stare at Billy, not smiling.]] / [[Billy points at Edmund.]] / Billy: Um... look, everyone! This guy is a big, smelly doo-doo face! / [[All the children in the audience start laughing hysterically.]] / Children: BWAHAHAHAHAHA / Billy [[to Edmund]]: Sorry for the laugh at your expense, I was *bombing* up here. / Edmund: Quite all right. / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: As I favor I warned him of the 'I know you are, but what am I' defense, though I'm not aware of an adequate comeback to it.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/11/15/fall-routine/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Life and Leaves [[Edmund sits on a bench with a man.]] / Man: The autumn leaves make a great metaphor for our lives. / [[The man holds a leaf up to his face.]] / Man: You start out small, healthy, colorful... / [[The man holds up a dried-out leaf.]] / Man: And after hanging out a while, the cold sets in and you wither and darken. / Edmund: Well, that's quite-- / [[The man holds up a leaf dressed up as a clown.]] / Man: And then you wake up one night and another leaf, dressed in clown clothing, is standing at the foot of your bed, having followed you home!! / Man: "Help" you yell, as he spins in circles, humming an eerie tune, blocking the doorway. / Man: So you take your withered self out the window, and run! The police never believe your story. / Man:... As days go by, you start to doubt yourself: did it happen or was it your imagination? ...But then you wake up one night to humming under your bed... / [[A bag sits next to the man, with a clown hat, hair, and shoes inside.]] / Edmund: Do you believe this is a common life experience? / Man: Happens to everyone I've ever met. / ~~~ / {{Journal's Reflection: Here's hoping he leaves me alone...}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/11/18/life-and-leaves/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Turkey Tactics [[Edmund stops at a stall where a lady and man stand. There are two signs, one says, "Ask us how delicious turkey is!" and the other says, "Tofu has feelings".]] / Lady: We're with the turkey industry. Since some people eat tofu for animal-friendly reasons, we created this tofu sympathy campaign so there's no longer a reason to opt for it over turkey. / Edmund: Isn't that dishonest? / Lady [[pointing to a blob of tofu]]: Nope! We funded scientists to create sentient tofu for this very reason! / Tofu: Please end meeee / Man: That's the opposite of what you're supposed to say!! / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: They were also given funds by a company that sells sleep aids.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/11/22/turkeys-tactics/
 
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Walking Along [[Edmund walks next to a bush.]] / [[Over 3 panels, a man's head slowly sticks out of the bush.]] / Man: If you took two pieces of bread and put them on either side of a sandwich, it would make it a sandwich sandwich. / [[Over 3 panels, the man's head slowly sinks back into the bush.]] / [[Edmund stares at the spot the man had been and keeps walking.]] / [[At the end of the bush, horns from a Viking hat can be seen.]] / [[A man in a Viking hat pops out of the bush.]] / Man: Hey, don't mind that guy back there. He's just me, ten seconds ago, without the hat. / [[Edmund keeps walking. He passes a sign that says, "Entering Discomfortville. Population: Discomforting.]] / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: I had a sudden craving for a sandwich sandwich, actually.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/11/29/walking-along/
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life - Discomfortville festivities [[Edmund's Journal: I was impressed with how festive Discomfortville's holiday display was...]] / [[Trees are covered in garland and ornaments. Candy canes and ginger-bread houses abound. A sign points the way to Santa.]] / [[Edmund meets a man with a wreathe on his shirt, holding a candy cane.]] / Man: Candy canes are red and white. ...The color of blood and eyeballs. / [[In two panels, then man opens his mouth and sucks on the candy cane.]] / [[Edmund quickly walks away.]] / [[Edmund's Journal: I particularly enjoyed how obstacle-free the exit was.]] / ~~~ / {{Journal Reflection: I found out he was demoted from Mall Santa earlier.}}
http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/09/discomfortville-festivities/
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/13/discomfortville-santa/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/13/discomfortville-santa/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/16/toothy-claus/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/16/toothy-claus/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/19/more-clauses/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/19/more-clauses/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/22/another-claus/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/22/another-claus/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/26/be-back-soon/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2011/12/26/be-back-soon/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/03/a-year-that-was/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/03/a-year-that-was/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/06/flavorides/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/06/flavorides/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/10/snow-portraits/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/10/snow-portraits/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/13/branching-out/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/13/branching-out/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/17/a-worthy-cause/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/17/a-worthy-cause/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/20/some-answers/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/20/some-answers/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/24/an-accomplishment/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/24/an-accomplishment/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/27/caution/#comments">http://eqcomics.com/2012/01/27/caution/#comments [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 

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