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fisticuffsmanship T-Rex: Spurred by an insatiable need to better myself, I have taken up a new sport! / T-Rex: That sport, my friends, is fisticuffs! / T-Rex: Do you think I would be good at fisticuffs, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: What is it? / T-Rex: Boxing! The word is a seventeenth-century alliteration of 'fisty'...
treasure hunt, 1950s T-Rex: Okay, so here's the plan! I send cards to all my friends giving them the first clue on a treasure hunt! / T-Rex: Then, they go on the treasure hunt! / T-Rex: Each clue leads them to a further clue in a new location, sending them on an across-town adventure! / T-Rex: The final clue leads them...
parties ruined by god T-Rex: So, I've laid out all the clues around town and I've got the party and barbeque all set up! / T-Rex: I think we're good to go! / T-Rex: Is everything ready Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: Yep! I made drinks and set up lawn chairs and even a croquet set! / T-Rex: Excellent! Nothing could possibly...
so anyway, god, he's bad at telling jokes Off-screen character: Great party, T-rex! Hey, do you have any more chips? / T-rex: Sorry guys, those were the last! / God: HEY I BROUGHT SOME POTATO CHIPS, T-REX / T-rex: God! You came! / God: THAT'S RIGHT SORRY I'M LATE BUT THESE ARE SOME GOOD CHIPS / God: CHICKEN FLAVOUR / T-rex: Classy! Glad you could...
corker T-Rex: Yes, my friends, I would have to confess: / T-Rex: Last night was the best party ever! / T-Rex: Wouldn't you agree, Dromiceiomimus? You seemed to be having a great time at the party last night! / Dromiceiomimus: Yes, it was quite a corker! / T-Rex: A "corker"? What does THAT mean? / Dromiceiomimus:...
 
mother's day T-Rex: Yesterday was a very special day for many people! / T-Rex: Yesterday was Mother's Day! / T-Rex: Did you give your mom some flowers for Mother's Day, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: I had some delivered! / T-Rex: Excellent! And, attached to the flowers, a note? / Dromiceiomimus: You know it, baby! / Utahraptor:...
online usernames: bi-curious, bi-plane, bi-centennial_man, bi-nary_boi T-Rex: You know what's the best thing ever? / T-Rex: The word "bicurious"! / T-Rex: It's funny when people use it, because how long can you be bicurious? You don't sit around all day saying, "Hmmm... I wonder what will happen!" - you look it up on the Internet, or you go out, meet someone in the gender...
holy shit, single bicurious lesbians! T-Rex: "Bicurious"! / T-Rex: Hee hee! / T-Rex: I can't get enough! / T-Rex: The sad thing is that the word is rarely used sincerely anymore - the only place you see it is in those sleazy newspapers with back-page advertisements for "bicurious teens!". Bicurious teens don't need to advertise! / Dromiceiomimus:...
an adventure through time Narrator: AN ADVENTURE THROUGH TIME / T-Rex: Oh boy! Today is a good day I think for an adventure through time! / T-Rex: So long, Dromiceiomimus! I'm about to travel back to the age of di- back to long ago! / Dromiceiomimus: So long T-Rex! I hope you don't become your own grandfather! / Utahraptor:...
a moment of empathy T-Rex: Who knew that designing a functional time machine was so difficult? / T-Rex: Not me: that's for darn sure! / Dromiceiomimus: Oh, T-Rex! Back from your adventure through time? / T-Rex: NO! It's freaking impossible to build a time machine! My enthusiasm yesterday was clearly UNWARRANTED. / Utahraptor:...
 
giant robot suits T-Rex: Alright, so I'd like to build a time machine for Utahraptor so he'll feel better, but building one is clearly way too hard! / T-Rex: Clearly way WAY too hard! / Dromiceiomimus: But T-Rex, what if time travel is not just hard, but impossible? If time travel is possible, where are all the...
fresh prince of bel air T-Rex: Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute - just sit right there - / T-Rex: I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called B el-Air! / T-Rex: In West Philadelphia, born and raised: on the playground was where I spent most...
ticket restrictions T-Rex: Fares are not guaranteed until paid in full and tickets issued. / T-Rex: Check restrictions: tickets may be non-refundable! / T-Rex: We recommend that sufficient insurance be purchased to cover all of your travel requirements. / T-Rex: Tickets are not transferable. No one else can travel with...
you know what's funny? death. T-Rex: You know what's funny? / T-Rex: Death! / T-Rex: Hah hah! Cause you're just walking along, and then it's "whoops! I'm DEAD!" / T-Rex: Eh, Dromiceiomimus? / T-Rex: "whoops!" / Utahraptor: That's not funny, T-Rex! It's tragic! / T-Rex: What, death? / Utahraptor: Yes, death! Would you find it so...
what's for dinner? societal norms. T-Rex: What's for dinner tonight, T-Rex? / T-Rex: Well T-Rex, I don't know! / T-Rex: What would you like, T-Rex? / T-Rex: I always choose what's for dinner, T-Rex! You decide tonight. / T-Rex: Hmm... in that case, T-Rex, let's have nachos tonight! It'll be fun! / Dromiceiomimus: ? / Utahraptor: My friend,...
 
that's not really what you want to hear your band founder say, but shoot, sign me up! T-Rex: Okay, so who wants to join my bluegrass band? / T-Rex: I have decided that I am starting a bluegrass band! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, do you know how to play any bliuegrass instruments? Do you know how to play the banjo, or fiddle, or a mandola? / Dromiceiomimus: I do not! / T-Rex: Then I am sorry...
that's what your jaws are for T-Rex: I certainly didn't sneak into the Utahraptor's house and eat his food again, that's for darn sure! / T-Rex: Blaming others removes suspicion from myself! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, are those crumbs on your chin? Did you sneak into the Utahraptor's house and eat his food? / Dromiceiomimus: No and...
your verb tense is inappropriate, my dear Narrator: DINOSAUR COMICS / T-Rex: Dinosaurs were giant ferocious lizards! / T-Rex: They were a constant threat to everyone around them! They were known to destroy human property with impunity! / T-Rex: Dinosaurs were also known to destroy human LIFE with impunity! / Utahraptor: I notice you're using...
emails T-Rex: Hey, I wonder if I got any emails while I was out? / T-Rex: Oh boy! Emails! / Narrator: BACK AT HOME: / T-Rex: What? No emails?! / Narrator: SHORTLY... / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, how come you never send me any emails? / Dromiceiomimus: I see you in person often enough! What do you want emails for? / T-Rex:...
emails T-Rex: Hey, I wonder if I got any emails while I was out? / T-Rex: Oh boy! Emails! / Narrator: BACK AT HOME: / T-Rex: What? No emails?! / Narrator: SHORTLY... / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, how come you never send me any emails? / Dromiceiomimus: I see you in person often enough! What do you want emails for? / T-Rex:...
indian food T-Rex: So the Rajasaurus down the street and I went out for dinner last night. It was great! / T-Rex: It was an oppertunity for me to showcase my sparkling wit! / T-Rex: For Instance: she mentioned how even though she had been raised outside of the Indian subcontinent by non-traditional parents, she...
 
compressed origin story comics - spider-man Narrator: COMPRESSED ORIGIN STORY COMICS / Narrator: Today's origin story: SPIDER-MAN / T-Rex: I'm Midtown High's only professional wallflower! / T-Rex: Oh boy, a science demonstration! What's this, a spider? / Narrator: ONE SPIDER BITE LATER... / Dromiceiomimus: Outta my way, kid! I'm a thief fleeing...
hey, i heard you were pissed off! Off-frame: What's the matter, T-Rex? You look down! / T-Rex: I'm just fine! / Off-frame: You look a little down! / T-Rex: I said, "I'm fine!" / Narrator: LATER... / T-Rex: ...and so the REASON I 'look a little down' is that suddenly everybody's talking about me and acting so concerned for my feelings!...
comics about homecare COMICS ABOUT HOMECARE / T-Rex: Homecare is when doctors or nurses visit you in your own home! / T-Rex: While some feel this leads to better care and increased comfort for patients... / T-Rex: ...others feel it places an unnecessary strain on our already-burdened hospitals and health care system! / Utahraptor:...
flying kites T-Rex: I note that it is certainly windy out today. / T-Rex: Holy cow! We should go fly kites! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, want to go fly a kite with me? / Dromiceiomimus: I don't have a kite! / T-Rex: We'll make them! All we need are some sticks, fabric, string, ingenuity! / Utahraptor: I have ample...
the verbose garden T-Rex: I've planted a garden around my house, and it is very pretty! / T-Rex: Best garden ever, if I do say so myself! / T-Rex: Do you have a garden, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: Yes I do, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Is it nice, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: It's very nice, thank you, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Glad...
 
l'esprit d'escalier T-Rex: "L'esprit d'escalier" means, literally, "the wit of the staircase"! / T-Rex: (It's French!) / T-Rex: It refers to when you think of a witty comeback too late, and you've already left the room! / T-Rex: Of course, this idea is largely alien to ME, as I'm never at a loss for a witty riposte! / T-Rex:...
t-rex in: a contract with god Narrator: T-REX IN: "A CONTRACT WITH GOD" / God: T-REX LET'S MAKE A DEAL / T-Rex: Sure thing, dude! / God: OKAY SO HERE'S THE DEAL / God: BUILD ME A TEMPLE / T-Rex: Oh-kay! / Narrator: LATER... / T-Rex: Damn it, it's too hard to find temple building materials! / Utahraptor: What? / T-Rex: Ah, forget it!...
generic rooms T-Rex: I had some companions over to my house last night and gave them a tour! It was a smashing success, except for one thing: / T-Rex: Some of them thought that my rooms "lacked identity"! / T-Rex: When I (politely) pressed them to explain, they said that while the rooms were decorated nicely, they...
comics with twist/non-twist endings Narrator: COMICS WITH NON-TWIST ENDINGS / T-Rex: I declare this to be "stomp on houses" day! / Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: Whoooo! / Narrator: THE END / Narrator: COMICS WITH TWISTS AND TURNS! / Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex! / T-Rex: Hey there! / Utahraptor: Listen, I was wondering if you - / Narrator: HOLD ON...
quick! save your game! T-Rex: I have been wondering what it would be like if people could "save" and "restore" their life, just like in a computer game. / T-Rex: Things would be different! / T-Rex: I predict every guy would, when he has his first sweetie break up with him, spend YEARS restoring to an earlier point, trying...
 

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