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bhangra bhangra bhangra bhangra	T-Rex: Copyright is intended to prevent others from ripping off your creations! It used to extend 28 years after you created something, giving you a chance to profit while ensuring good ideas would eventually enter the public domain. / T-Rex: However, lately it's gotten pretty ridiculous! / T-Rex: Copyright extensions have pushed this protection up to the length of your life plus 70 years and beyond - basically, whenever Micky Mouse is due to enter the public domain, copyright law is extended. It's unfair and it restricts creativity! / Utahraptor: How does it restrict creativity? / T-Rex: Well! / T-Rex: With these insanely long copyright laws, there is no new public domain, and our modern culture is owned and put in private hands! It ensures you can't build on anything that's been created in the past 70 years. / Utahraptor: Wow, you really seem to care about copyright laws! / T-Rex: I just think we're approaching a state of perpetual copyright, and that this could interfere with my bhangra remixes of pop songs. / T-Rex: I mean my non-bhangra remixes, of course! / T-Rex: THEY'RE GOOD http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=575
little lower, little slower	T-Rex: Oh man, I'm gonna work the phrase "little lower, little slower" into every conversation I have today! / T-Rex: Hee hee! It's a good day to be T-Rex! / Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: So I was at the dentist today, and he was all cleaning my teeth, and I was like, "little lower...little slower!" / Dromiceiomimus: Hah! What'd he do? / T-Rex: He cleaned my bottom teeth! / Narrator: LATER: / Utahraptor: Hey there, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Little lower, little slower! / T-Rex: Wait, shoot , too soon. Can we start over, and you give me a hug or something? / Utahraptor: What? No! / T-Rex: Incidentally, that would be a good phrase to say to an ex-girlfriend you're trying to hook up with! The "start over" one, I mean. Um. / T-Rex: Where'd everybody go? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=576
lots of things are pretty okay	T-Rex: Wouldn't it be pretty okay to travel at speeds FASTER than that of LIGHT ITSELF?? / T-Rex: I submit that it would be pretty okay indeed! / T-Rex: With that in mind, I'm going to design an engine that can make something go faster than light. / Dromiceiomimus: Our current understanding of physics says what you are trying may well be impossible! / T-Rex: Our current understanding will have to be UPDATED, pending my success! / Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex, do you want a hand? We could do it together! / T-Rex: Sure! It'll be fun! / Narrator: MONTHS LATER: / Utahraptor: While I do feel this project has brought us closer together, I don't think it's going to work. Perhaps faster-than-light travel really is impossible. / T-Rex: Or PERHAPS we're not trying hard enough! Let's work extra hard for a bit. / T-Rex: Then, sandwiches! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=577
kiss me signs	T-Rex: Imagine if I snuck up behind some guy and put a "kick me" sign on his back, only instead of "kick me", it said "kiss me"? Hah hah! / T-Rex: That is one dude who's going to get all the sweet makeouts!! / T-Rex: And he would have no idea why suddenly all these people are making out with him! From behind! / Dromiceiomimus: You should do it! Maybe even guys would kiss him, because the sign told them too! / T-Rex: Hee hee! It's the ultimate prank! I'm gonna do it. Should I do it? I'm gonna do it. / Dromiceiomimus: Do it, T-Rex! / T-Rex: But, on the other hand, putting a "kiss me" sign on someone's back would be EXTREMELY CRAZY! / Utahraptor: Do it! / T-Rex: Hah, you think I should do it? / Utahraptor: Man, go for it! / T-Rex: Let's ask past T-Rex what he thinks! / Narrator: PAST T-REX: / T-Rex: Do it, dude!! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=578
klinical depression komics	T-Rex: There sure is a lot I don't know about ... / T-Rex: CLINICAL DEPRESSION! / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, you shouldn't joke about clinical depression (major depressive disorder)! It's not very funny. / T-Rex: I'm not! I'm just saying that there's a lot I don't know about it. How do you deal with it? How do you best support a friend who is dealing with it? I have NO IDEA. / Utahraptor: Well, it is good that you want to find out more! / T-Rex: I agree!! I am a model for us all. / T-Rex: So! Depression? / Utahraptor: I don't know much about it either, T-Rex! I think you'll have to do your own research on this one. / T-Rex: Aw boo! Researching things, much like the mental illness of depression, is for chumps! / Narrator: T-REX RESEARCHES IT ANYWAY: / T-Rex: Oh man, I should not have said that depression is for chumps. That's like the worst thing you can say to a depressed person! / T-Rex: SHEESH, T-Rex! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=579

friends dating friends who date friends who date friends	T-Rex: Okay, so hypothetical situation: let's say you've got two friends who used to totally date each other but now they're broken up, and neither wants to see the other anymore! / T-Rex: Oops!! / T-Rex: The problem this raises for you, as a friend, is who do you invite to parties and such? Do you alternate invitations between events? Invite both friends and assume either they'll work out amongst themselves who's going, or you'll get to see some sparks fly? / Utahraptor: It's a difficult situation for everyone involved to be in! / T-Rex: It's true! / Utahraptor: I suppose I'd talk to both of the people to see what they'd have me do. / T-Rex: But what if they want you to do conflicting things? / Utahraptor: Well, then, I guess I'd face a choice! / God: T-REX WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE EVEN IN THIS SITUATION / T-Rex: I like to be prepared! / God: DUDE WHY ARE YOU EVEN SAYING THIS THOUGH / God: IT'S SO STRESSFUL http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=580
forget all of y'all, crazy rashes!	T-Rex: There's this crazy rash I've got on my wrist. This is an unwelcome development that I did not invite! / T-Rex: Forget you, crazy rash! / Dromiceiomimus: Have you done anything to get rid of it? / T-Rex: I am a firm believer in the "do nothing and your problems will take care of themselves" school of problem solving. / Dromiceiomimus: Really? Well - good luck! / Utahraptor: Has this technique ever solved ANY of your problems, T-Rex? / T-Rex: All the time! / T-Rex: Like this one time, I had to pay my phone bill, but it's sort of a pain to mail stuff, you know? So I just waited and waited and eventually a collections agency called ME, and they let me pay my bill over the phone! / Utahraptor: But there are conseq- / T-Rex: It was amazing! / Narrator: A FEW DAYS LATER THE RASH GETS WORSE: / T-Rex: ATTENTION, MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS!! / T-Rex: Why don't you call? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=581
t-rex knows the characters' names, so he must know what he's talking about.	T-Rex: Has anyone ever heard of a book series called, oh I don't know... "HARRY POTTER"?! / T-Rex: Dude, because I totally have! / T-Rex: And did you know, Dromiceiomimus that in the most recent book Harry's friend RON WEASLEY ends up asphyxiated on the moon? / Dromiceiomimus: What? / T-Rex: Yes! The moon! There's no air up there so it makes sense that he ends up asphyxiated. / Utahraptor: You're ruining the book for everyone, T-Rex! / T-Rex: No way, Jose! / Utahraptor: Or at least you would be, if your spoilers were at all plausible. Nice try though! / T-Rex: Did you know that during a Quiddich match, it turns out that one of Harry's teachers is a vampire? / Utahraptor: Aw man! / T-Rex: And who could forget the twist ending revealed in the last sentence of the book? "Actually, everyone in this story is a vampire!"? / T-Rex: Have you read it? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=582
hot days and movies	T-Rex: It's so hot out today! So hot! / Narrator: HOLY IT'S HOT COMICS / T-Rex: So hot!! / Dromiceiomimus: Hey T-Rex, do you want to go see a movie with me? / T-Rex: To escape the heat! / Dromiceiomimus: Yeah! / T-Rex: Yes! I've always wanted to do that. For some reason, I've always wanted to be one of those people who does that! / Narrator: LATER: / Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex, want to go see a movie with me? / T-Rex: Aww, sorry, I just saw one! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus and I went to escape the heat! / Utahraptor: How was it? / T-Rex: Ridiculous! The movie needed way more EXPLOSIONS. / T-Rex: Saying "the movie needed more explosions" is my polite way to suggest that the film was a romantic comedy, by the way! / Utahraptor: I got that, thanks! / T-Rex: I find that most movies need way more explosions, though. / T-Rex: You know? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=583
t-rex up to his old tricks	T-Rex: I totally went out to fancy dinner with friends last night! It was a lot of fun and the food was extremely delicious. / T-Rex: I also left a big tip, so as not to appear NIGGARDLY! / T-Rex: Eh? Would you say you find something COMMENT-WORTHY in my speech, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: Nope! I know that the word "niggardly" means miserly, and that it has a completely different etymology from any words that it might happen to sound like! / T-Rex: Aw man! Maybe - maybe pretend you don't? / Utahraptor: You were just looking for controversy, T-Rex! / T-Rex: It's true, it's true! / T-Rex: But my plan was to educate! When people called me on "niggardly", I was going to explain how it most likely derives from the Scandinavian "nig" (miserly), and in fact pre-dates any similar racially-charged words by hundreds of years! / Utahraptor: Looks like you blew your chances with us, my friend! / Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: Hey there! How's everyone doing? Say, that river sure is getting high, huh? Maybe someone should put a DYKE up around it! / T-Rex: Eh? Eh? / T-Rex: Homophobia? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=584

indoor voice! indoor voice!!	T-Rex: What a beautiful summer's day! A good day for me to PARTY DOWN and shout "Wooooooo!", I think! / T-Rex: Wait, I can do better. / T-Rex: ahem / T-Rex: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! / Dromiceiomimus: Whoah, T-Rex! Use your indoor voice - you don't have to be so loud! / T-Rex: "Indoor voice"?! We're outside, Dromiceiomimus! Anyway, if we were indoors right now, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as loud and proud as ever! / T-Rex: In that order! / Utahraptor: "Indoor voice" refers to the situation inside a house, where others are sleeping and stuff! There's a whole context there, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Man, context is for suckers! And with that revelation, I don't see how the term "indoor voice" on its own can mean anything at all! / Utahraptor: Y-you're not - / T-Rex: That's right! I'm questioning the very IDEA of an "indoor voice"! The revolution begins here! / Narrator: SHORTLY: / T-Rex: The revolution has ended due to lack of interest! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=585
totally totally pooched	T-Rex: So how do people do it? How do people choose a direction in their life, I mean! / T-Rex: It seems pretty hard! / Dromiceiomimus: Well, T-Rex, I think most people choose a direction they want to go in, a job they'd like to do, and then work toward it. / T-Rex: Yeah, but what if you finally get that job, and it's not all you hoped? What if it sort of sucks? / Utahraptor: What are you talking about? You don't have a job in the first place! / T-Rex: Yeah, but man! / T-Rex: Being unemployed was sort of the dream, but now I realize that it just leaves me with a lot of free time, and I feel useless and unaccomplished at the end of the day! / Utahraptor: So get a job! Problem solved! / T-Rex: But being unemployed isn't sucky all the time, just some of the time! I don't know! I'm pooched, man! I'm pooched! / T-Rex: Being pooched is akin to being screwed! / T-Rex: Now you know! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=586
little secrets	T-Rex: So sometimes I have these little secrets, yes? / T-Rex: Yes! / T-Rex: And SOMETIMES these little secrets accidentally become BIG SECRETS, because I never told the people I should have about them and it's too late now. / Dromiceiomimus: Ooh! What are these secrets? / T-Rex: I'm not thinking of any in particular, actually! Just the general case. / Dromiceiomimus: Oh. That's less interesting! / Utahraptor: Maybe you shouldn't keep so many secrets then, T-Rex! / T-Rex: But I don't! / T-Rex: They're just - you know how when you've forgotten somebody's name, and it's way too late to ask them now? It's like that with these little secrets. You know what I mean? / Utahraptor: No, that doesn't really happen to me. / T-Rex: Am I the only one with these problems? / T-Rex: Because if so, then I guess I get to work on my life management skills! / T-Rex: D-Do people still talk about life management skills? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=587
t-rex messes with time, what's the worst that could happen?	T-Rex: Okay, so I've made a few runs at it and have never actually been able to travel back in time. This I concede easily! I totally dropped the time ball. / T-Rex: But baby, I've got a good feeling about today! / Dromiceiomimus: Aw, T-Rex, why do you want to go back in time so much anyway? You've already been in the past; you know what it's like! / T-Rex: My own life doesn't count, and besides I could go back in time and CHANGE things! Like your breakfast today: wasn't it delicious? Don't you wish you could have had that breakfast YESTERDAY? / T-Rex: Mmm? / Utahraptor: Man, even if you were successful, I can just tell you'd screw up my timeline on me! / T-Rex: I would not!! / T-Rex: Besides, it's not YOUR timeline. It's EVERYONE's timeline. We have to share it. / Utahraptor: Well, you should take me with you, so I can keep you out of trouble. / T-Rex: Fine! FINE. I'll take everyone back in time with me. WHY NOT. HOW HARD WOULD IT BE TO TAKE EVERYONE BACK IN TIME. / Narrator: SHORTLY: / T-Rex: IT WAS ACTUALLY NOT THAT HARD http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=588
high-concept time travel comics?	Narrator: TIME IS RUNNING FORWARDS: / T-Rex: Aw, shoot! / T-Rex: Did that fix time? I don't think that fixed time! / T-Rex: Well! I guess our only hope is to focus all of our willpower on changing things back to normal! / Dromiceiomimus: Do you think that'll make a difference? / T-Rex: I believe that MAYBE it could? It's not like we have too many options! Let's do it! / Narrator: SOON: / Utahraptor: I don't feel anything different - do you? / T-Rex: I feel the same! / Utahraptor: But... MAYBE this is something we simply can't fully diagnose with our senses - maybe it's just too subtle! / T-Rex: Broken timeflows are crazy! I'm sorry! Maybe we can fix it with wishes? / Utahraptor: I guess it's worth a try! On three! / Narrator: TIME IS RUNNING BACKWARDS: / T-Rex: I don't think that fixed ANYTHING, man! Things are as messed up as ever! / T-Rex: Also, my head hurts and I feel like making puns involving the word "watch"! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=589

this temporal anomaly is tearing us apart!	T-Rex: Wow, it's great to be back in a timeframe that ISN"T beyond recognition! Is this the last time I will ever have incident to say that sentence? / T-Rex: Here's hoping! / T-Rex: How are you feeling, Dromiceiomimus? / Dromiceiomimus: I'm feeling alright! I just don't understand how all this happened. How did you manage to screw up time itself? And since time and space are a continuum, wouldn't you have screwed up space itself too? / T-Rex: I don't know! PROBABLY I'm just lucky. / Utahraptor: I think she raises a good point, T-Rex! / T-Rex: About time travel and space? / Utahraptor: Yeah! In fact, I think this whole thing has raised a lot of questions. How did you even build a time machine in the first place? / T-Rex: Dude, I simply employed lots of ingenuity and cleverness! SO much. / Utahraptor: That's not an explanation! That's not even close to an explanation! / T-Rex: The REAL question is, why's everyone getting all up in my fries? Is there something particularly more attractive about my fries today? / T-Rex: Discuss! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=590
hinduism comics! or, or eisegesis comics.	T-Rex: Today is a good day I think to talk about HINDUISM. / Narrator: HINDUISM COMICS! / T-Rex: In Hinduism, there are many gods and aspects of gods, and many of these divinities are sexual. It's true! Some even have sex in the woods with regular mortals just for the fun of it! In conclusion, Hinduism is a famous religion, plus, sexual congress. / Utahraptor: T-Rex!! / T-Rex: What?! / Utahraptor: Man, leave it to you to take a great religion and focus ENTIRELY on the sexy bits. / T-Rex: I do that with all major world religions though! For example, Christianity? / T-Rex: Mary Magdalene? / T-Rex: Eh? / T-Rex: Some religious scholars believe she and the historical Jesus were more than "just friends"? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=591
the great library of alexandria	T-Rex: Ah, the great Library of Alexandria! A repository of learning founded in the 3rd century BC, this library has become a powerful symbol for knowledge. / T-Rex: Especially since it was destroyed by fire or maybe looting a few centuries later. / T-Rex: Oh, what knowledge we have lost! What revelations were written on those ancient papyrus scrolls, now entirely beyond our grasp? With this lost information, could the industrial revolution have arrived a thousand years earlier? The only answer I can offer is an enthusiastic "perhaps!" followed by a wide-eyed "who knows??" / Utahraptor: Whoah, I think you're putting to much into this, T-Rex! / T-Rex: It was a pretty great library! / Utahraptor: Yeah, but you're treating the actual libraries (plural) as a symbol, which only confuses what actually happened historically. Certainly SOME ancient knowledge was lost, but I think it's disingenuous to suggest that its loss meant our development was set back thousands of years! / T-Rex: You're saying that by building up the legend, I do a disservice to the actual libraries? Well, I've got news for you, my friend! / T-Rex: Um! / T-Rex: The news is, you make some convincing arguments! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=592
chasing after birds naked? looks like my friday night just got filled up!	T-Rex: Ah, to be a child again! To have no responsibilities! To have a high metabolism that allows me to eat whatever I want! / T-Rex: To chase after birds in the park, wearing nothing but a grin! / Dromiceiomimus: Your idea of childhood is chasing after animals naked? / T-Rex: Well - after being small and irresponsibly eating a lot, yeah. / Dromiceiomimus: That's pretty weird, T-Rex! / T-Rex: It's not THAT weird, is it? / Utahraptor: It's a little weird! / Utahraptor: It's just that it's such an odd image of childhood, and that you came up with it before other more popular images, like splashing in puddles or whatever! Did you once memorably chase naked after a bird? Is that it? / T-Rex: Hah! I deny all these scurrilous allegations! / God: DUDE BY MY COUNT YOU'VE CHASED AFTER LIKE TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY THREE BIRDS WHILE NAKED / T-Rex: There's no shame in that! I do everything naked! / God: HAH / God: ME TOO MAN http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=593
webcomics about science as the new webcomics about pirates/monkeys/ninjas? here's hoping!	T-Rex: Science is based upon hypotheses, conclusions and theories formed via repeated observations and experiments! / Narrator: THE PHILOSOPHICAL BASIS OF SCIENCE / T-Rex: This allows us to fashion an empirical and verifiable understanding of the world around us. Theories are said to be correct if they match up with the observed properties of the universe! However, science makes the tacit assumption that the universe is predictable and orderly and regular, which MAY NOT BE THE CASE. / T-Rex: I ask the question: what if some of the theories and laws of science were merely statistical? / Utahraptor: Explain! / T-Rex: Well, we say the speed of light is about 300,000 km/s, because it's been that every time we've measured it. But what if there's a small chance that sometimes, the speed of light can just - change? / Utahraptor: You're questioning the basis of science by postulating a non-deterministic universe. / T-Rex: Yeah man! In such a universe, science totally fails! / Utahraptor: So does life, probably! It wouldn't matter because we'd all be dead! / T-Rex: Dead WRONG! / T-Rex: About science? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=594

we'll have a manliness contest right after flipping this five-course meal onto the dirt, BOOYAH	T-Rex: You know what would answer the very important question of "who is the manliest?" / T-Rex: None other than a manliness contest! Heck yes! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, I'm so manly that I crack open walnuts for old ladies with my pectoral muscles! / Dromiceiomimus: Oh yeah? I'M so manly that I manage my emotional output, plus I swim all the way up waterfalls! / T-Rex: We both understand we're using manliness as an archetype, and that your claims to manliness do not reflect upon your ideas of femininity, or of normative gender. In any case! / T-Rex: I'm so manly that I pound nails into the wall with my bare hands! / Utahraptor: Oh yeah? / Utahraptor: Well I'M so manly that I use my bare hands to pound them out from the other side! / T-Rex: Oh yeah? Well I'M so manly that I do that too, WHILE IMPREGNATING MY GIRLFRIEND. / T-Rex: Pretty manly! / T-Rex: AND pretty consequential! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=595
borderline-racist PROFESSION jokes that people keep telling, why, why	T-Rex: What do you call fifteen PROFESSION MEMBERS buried up to their necks in sand? / T-Rex: Not enough sand! / Dromiceiomimus: Oh! Why don't PROFESSION MEMBERS play hide and seek? / T-Rex: Why? / Dromiceiomimus: Because no one will look for them! / T-Rex: Hah! Ouch for PROFESSION MEMBERS, and their stereotype! / Utahraptor: Hey, are we telling PROFESSION jokes? / T-Rex: We are! / Utahraptor: Okay, why do PROFESSION MEMBERS leave AND IDENTIFYING INSTRUMENT OF THEIR PROFESSION on the dashboard of their cars? / T-Rex: Why? / Utahraptor: So they can park in handicapped spaces! / T-Rex: Hah hah! Oh, those PROFESSION MEMBERS! / T-Rex: They're not like us! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=596
t-rex has another Theory	T-Rex: I'm not hotted out by women who continue to wear high heels while getting increasingly naked. / T-Rex: I'm just not! / T-Rex: I have a Theory about conventional western civilization being infatuated with a cartoonish idea of femininity. / Dromiceiomimus: Explain! / T-Rex: Well, you look at the women shown as being attractive in the media, and what do you see? An exaggerated female stereotype, with all of the womanly characteristics underlined and highlighted. / T-Rex: It's as if guys are so afraid of being called gay, they go for the most capital-w Woman they can find! / Utahraptor: That's absurd! / T-Rex: I don't think so, man! I think it's a side-effect of homophobia in the media. / Utahraptor: There's so much wrong with your theory, I don't know where to start. / T-Rex: Okay! How about with "womanly characteristics"? / T-Rex: Isn't that an odd and frankly creepy way to describe something? "I'm really interested in your womanly characteristics, darling." / T-Rex: "What are they like" / T-Rex: "What are they like" http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=597
solipsists: there can only be one	T-Rex: Ah, solipsism. The belief that only one's self exists! Everything and everyone else are just a projection of my imagination. I made them up! Who invented all the arts and sciences? / T-Rex: Why, Apparently, it's me - T-Rex! / Dromiceiomimus: Okay, but if this is the case, why do you imagine a world for yourself in which people's ice cream cones can fall in the dirt? / T-Rex: Probably I just want to make things more interesting! / Dromiceiomimus: And I guess all the pain and death in the world is also just to make things more interesting? / T-Rex: That makes me sound pretty messed up, but yeah! I guess! / Utahraptor: But you do admit you don't have control over the entire universe, right? / T-Rex: I can't make you dance, that's true! / Utahraptor: Right! So part of your mind you can't control (your unconscious) must be at work there. But since you can't control it, it's effectively external, right? So the rest of the universe is still external to you! You haven't gained anything by imagining it's all in your head. / T-Rex: Dude, I gain the knowledge that if I die, the rest of the universe dies with me. Woo hoo! / T-Rex: (This makes me super important!) http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=598
utilitarianism comics	T-Rex: Utilitarianism is an ethical system in which you always act to minimize pain and increase happiness! This is the perfect system for me, as I am ALL ABOUT increasing happiness. / Narrator: UTILITARIANISM COMICS / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, I am crushing this house because, holy, what if the people inside are really sad about something? By smushing them, I increase net happiness on the planet over the long term, because they won't be sad anymore, ALSO, stomping makes me happy. Net happiness: increased! / Dromiceiomimus: I don't think that's fair! / T-Rex: We could debate it, but that might make me very sad. / Utahraptor: You must realize that this isn't a fair application of utilitarianism, T-Rex! / T-Rex: I must? / Utahraptor: Yes! Although, you DO raise some of the fundamental problems with the theory: there's no pleasure calculus to measure happiness, especially not one that can take into account the long-term consequences of our actions. / T-Rex: I like this phrase, "pleasure calculus". / T-Rex: Is it truly as erotic as advertised? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=599

a house party! down the street!	THERE IS TOTALLY A PARTY AT THIS HOUSE DOWN THE ROAD TONIGHT / T-Rex: Hooray!! / T-Rex: Oh man, do I ever love parties! And parties held at this particular house are always the BEST EVER. / Dromiceiomimus: They're "house parties" where anyone can show up! / T-Rex: I know! It makes me feel like a member of a community, plus, I can meet new and attractive lady dinosaurs! / Utahraptor: So are we going? / T-Rex: Man, we're going! / T-Rex: My friend, tonight not only do we get to party, but we get to party while eating free delicious snacks! / Utahraptor: Well take me off the shelf and put me in a plastic bag, because I'm sold! / T-Rex: Okay! / T-Rex: Wait, what? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=600
the play was called 'don't pinch me like that dear eliza', no real reason	Narrator: T-REX HAS AUDITIONED FOR A PLAY. HE BELIEVES THE AUDITION WENT WELL, BUT HAS NOT BEEN AWARDED A PART. / Narrator: LET'S WATCH! / T-Rex: Rejected?! / T-Rex: The heck?! I was way better than most of the people there! It's discrimination! / Dromiceiomimus: Aww, I'm sorry, T-Rex! But how do you know it's discrimination? / T-Rex: I was told that "someone of my ahem 'stature' didn't belong under stage lights". For crying out loud! / Utahraptor: I'm sorry too, T-Rex! / T-Rex: It's so aggravating! / T-Rex: They wanted a short orange guy and I gave them a tall green guy, and they threw me to the curb! / Utahraptor: I understand, and it's difficult to deal with! But sometimes actors do have to look the part they're playing. / Narrator: LATER T-REX GOES OUT TO DINNER WITH FRIENDS: / T-Rex: That was muchas delicious but did little to resolve the disparate issues raised by today's events! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=601
never tell a lie	T-Rex: I bet that if I was absolutely, universally, honest and never told anyone even a tiny lie again, I'd become the most popular and respected dude ever! I would probably become known as "Cap'n Honest". / T-Rex: Good thing anything that ends up with someone getting a new nickname is worth doing! / T-Rex: So! Dromiceiomimus, assuming you and I share the same general reference point, a similar set of aesthetics, plus senses and ways of interpreting those senses that can be trusted, it appears to be a very pleasant day today! / Dromiceiomimus: Yes it does, T-Rex! / T-Rex: I believe that I believe that it may or may not be a nice day for stomping on things. Yes! / Utahraptor: I fear this plan of absolute honesty is doomed to failure, my friend! / T-Rex: You do? / Utahraptor: I'm afraid so! You'll either end up saying nothing at all, or run the risk of saying something that could be false when viewed from another perspective! Eventually you'll end up saying an untruth to SOMEONE. / T-Rex: Oh, it's true! The only viable solution is to never speak again! / Narrator: T-REX NEVER SPEAKS AGAIN... IN THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE EVERYTHING IS CRAZY! / Utahraptor: I'm wearing underpants on my head AND passing my driver's test! / Utahraptor: Isn't that SO crazy?? http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=602
why come everything's so 'spensive?	T-Rex: How come everything's so EXPENSIVE? / T-Rex: Seriously everyone! How come? / Dromiceiomimus: Everything's not THAT expensive, T-Rex. / T-Rex: I don't know, Dromiceiomimus, everything seems pretty expensive to me! It's becoming clear though that my sense of what a good deal is froze when I was about fourteen years old. Inflation since then causes my sense of being ripped off to increase daily! / Utahraptor: You're going to be a crotchety old man, my friend! / T-Rex: Oh, it's already begun! / T-Rex: Look at me, I'm complaining about the present by comparing it to how things were back in my day! I'm stereotypically OLD, Utahraptor. / Utahraptor: How does it feel? / T-Rex: Great, actually! / T-Rex: I feel like eating food carefully AND interacting with technology in ways that would be embarrassing to any younger people I'm with! / T-Rex: (Thereby fulfilling the stereotype as I understand it!) http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=603
you can't see it, but in the last panel all the dinosaurs have had DIFFERENT BREAKFASTS.	T-Rex: I just realized that if the universe lasts forever - infinitely forever - then anything that CAN happen WILL happen! It has to because of infinite time! / T-Rex: Infinite time! Kick ASS! / Dromiceiomimus: But T-Rex, isn't the current scientific thinking that the universe will expand forever, but in doing so become a lifeless frozen expanse just above absolute zero due to increases in entropy? / T-Rex: But Dromiceiomimus - infinite time! That means that the possibilities are ENDLESS! There must be a timeframe where we're all pirates or whatever. / Utahraptor: That's not necessarily the case, you know. / T-Rex: Dude! INFINITE time. Things get CRAZY. / Utahraptor: I understand the concept, T-Rex! But while it's true that things with small probabilities would be guaranteed to occur, things with zero probability still wouldn't take place, even with infinite time! And I don't see how you're going to get around the entropy problem. / T-Rex: Yes, but - / Narrator: TWENTY TRILLION YEARS LATER: / T-Rex: - our understanding of entropy could be wrong! / Off-Panel: Yes, but it's not rational to assume that's the case. / T-Rex: That's true! http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=604

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