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dude needs to think these things through, daaaaaam T-Rex: I have come up with the ULTIMATE COMEBACK to be used on musicians! All I have to do is wait for one to put me down, and then I can be all: / T-Rex: "Oh yeah? Well here in the REAL world, WE don't get to rest for 32 bars!" / T-Rex: Hee hee! It's funny, Dromiceiomimus, because sometimes in a song...
Then here we go! T-Rex: Who here would like to hear an old joke about oatmeal? / God: DAAAMN / God: I WOULD / T-Rex: Then here we go! / T-Rex: Okay okay, so there's this monastery, with three monks, and only one monk is allowed to speak, once, each year. They take turns! The first year, at breakfast, the first monk...
no more mistakes for ryan i mean t-rex day T-Rex: Man! I need to stop making all the mistakes. Today is NO MORE MISTAKES FOR T-REX DAY. / Narrator: SOON: / T-Rex: Aw diggity damn! Somehow I forgot to rinse my toothbrush after use today! / T-Rex: WELL, it seems that despite my proclamation, I keep on making mistakes! / Dromiceiomimus: What kind...
i'm not the kind of guy who says 'hot and cold running chicks', but i'm the kind of guy who kind of wishes ... Narrator: T-REX HAS SNUCK INTO UTAHRAPTOR'S HOUSE AND SWITCHED THE HOT AND COLD PIPES LEADING TO HIS BATHROOM SINK. / T-Rex: Tee hee! / Narrator: LET'S WATCH! / Dromiceiomimus: Isn't that kind of an expensive, elaborate prank, T-Rex? The worst that'll happen is he'll get cold water when he expects hot. / T-Rex:...
A Modest Proposal: For Preventing Vandals the World Over from Being a Hilarious Burden to Wikipedia and ... T-Rex: The Problem with Wikipedia is that it's peppered with vandalism at various times and at various locations: vandalism that remains until it's noticed by someone who knows enough and cares enough to fix it! SOMETIMES THIS CAN TAKE A WHILE. BUT! / T-Rex: *ahem* / T-Rex: Ladies and gentlemen: I have...
 
t-rex is stealing the 'sounds like a good date!' thing from me, age two years ago, and i stole it from ... T-Rex: I have the ultimate CONVERSATION FILLER. Now no longer will there be awkward pauses in my conversations! Oh yes. No longer. / T-Rex: Because whenever I don't know what to say, I'll just exclaim "Sounds like a good date!" / T-Rex: An example! Dromiceiomimus - can you describe your ideal waterslide...
t-rex is stealing the 'sounds like a good date!' thing from me, age two years ago, and i stole it from ... T-Rex: I have the ultimate CONVERSATION FILLER. Now no longer will there be awkward pauses in my conversations! Oh yes. No longer. / T-Rex: Because whenever I don't know what to say, I'll just exclaim "Sounds like a good date!" / T-Rex: An example! Dromiceiomimus - can you describe your ideal waterslide...
(the dinosaurs/author are/is unsure about what their/his friendship fantasy actually symbolizes) T-Rex: I am on the lookout for a new friend. A new, more ultimate friend: the best friend ever. / T-Rex: I am on the lookout for science, personified! / T-Rex: It will be so awesome, Dromiceiomimus! Can you imagine being friends with Science Personified? You'd never have your science questions go...
nature vs nurture vs THE INCREDIBLE HULK!! T-Rex: Something people like to argue about sometimes is whether or not certain things are genetically innate, or personal decisions! / Narrator: NATURE VERSUS NURTURE / Narrator: in comic form, baby / T-Rex: If it's natural, then you can't really blame a person for having it, because they didn't have...
the great thing about duplicator rays is that they're REALLY easy to manufacture, once you've made the ... T-Rex: Literally hours of work have paid off, and I have come up with my greatest invention yet...a DUPLICATOR RAY! / T-Rex: (Duplicator rays let you make perfect copies of anything!) / Dromiceiomimus: Really? So if I have, say, a papier-m?ch? pi?ata dog filled with tasty candies, your duplicator...
is it time for a new catchphrase? nope! it's time for a lower back pain. T-Rex: Ladies and gentlemen: is it time for a new catchphrase? / T-Rex: Sources say: "DAMN girl, sure is!" / T-Rex: That's not the new catchphrase though. I've got - I've got different ones. And here they are! "Let's get remarkably frisky" (useful in many situations), "That's gobbles!" (meaning "that's...
 
it's called a negative income tax because instead of bottoming out at you owing the government $0, it ... T-Rex: A negative income tax, or "NIT", is when the government pays you money when your income is low! Pretty sweet! / Narrator: NEGATIVE INCOME TAX COMICS / Narrator: it will be interesting I PROMISE / T-Rex: But there is a catch. You still pay taxes - say, a flat tax of 10% - BUT, the government also...
you can point all your happily married friends to this comic and say 'see? you may have found someone ... God: HEY T-REX HAVE YOU FALLEN IN LOVE YET AND IF NOT / God: WHY NOT / T-Rex: Dude! I've been busy! / God: COME ON EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE IS TOTALLY MARRIED / T-Rex: Man, whatever! / T-Rex: First it was romance movies telling me that I won't be TRULY HAPPY unless I'm in a relationship, then it's the media...
a sequel three years in the making? Narrator: COMICS WITH SUDDEN CHANGES IN GENRE II / T-Rex: I'm going nuts! / T-Rex: LIQUID NUTS! / T-Rex: See what I did there, Dromiceiomimus? I used "liquid" as an intensifier. / Dromiceiomimus: Like "super"? / T-Rex: Yep! It goes nuts, super nuts, nutty crackers, and then liquid nuts for only the...
another time where the first panel could be up there all on its own T-Rex: Man, I've been feeling down all morning. What could possibly cheer me up? / Raccoon and Cephalopod Neighbors: PENETRATION / T-Rex: / Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: And so my damn freaky raccoon and cephalopod neighbors were all "penetration" and then I froze, and THEN, I ran away. Why are they always...
originally in panel 3 t-rex said 'i am seriously trying to evolve my head off over here', but that was ... T-Rex: Sometimes when you're in an accident or about to be hurt, time seems to slow down! This gives you more of a chance to react to ensure your survival! / / T-Rex: This is AWESOME. / / T-Rex: Assuming that time isn't ACTUALLY changing, this means that my brain has the incredible ability to slow...
 
god only said 'um' because his mouth was full and god believes in a little thing called GOOD MANNERS T-Rex: God, do you think I'm a good enough dude to write an opera? / God: UM / T-Rex: Man! Even God thinks I can't write an opera! / Dromiceiomimus: Why would you want to write an opera, T-Rex? / T-Rex: WELL, the consensus seems to be that opera is the classiest of the classical arts. If I could write...
i started this comic three years ago and just got around to finishing it now T-Rex: Remember my friend (female) who dated her roommate (also female)? That is not the only sexy adventure she has had! / T-Rex: Not by a long shot! / T-Rex: Like this one time she had a gentleman caller spend the night. Nothing happened, but the next day while she was at work, this guy did all her...
if you want to say the same thing about me, ryan north of dinosaur comics dot com, that would be, um, ... Narrator: RUMOURS / T-Rex: Someone's been spreading some stupid! / T-Rex: ...about ME! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, did you hear the rumour about me? / Dromiceiomimus: No, I didn't! What is it? Is it so JUICY? / T-Rex: It's terrible! SOMEONE has been telling people that the only reason I stomp on things is...
bad decisions comics T-Rex: It's time to spice things up, dudes and ladies! Today I am only going to make BAD DECISIONS. / Narrator: BAD DECISIONS COMICS / Dromiceiomimus: Aw no, T-Rex! Why can't you be like a regular person and only make bad decisions by mistake? I don't get this romance you have for regret. / T-Rex:...
later: t-rex learns that you're not allowed to cause harm to people if you're enlightened and is all ... God: HEY T-REX I BET YOU FIFTY BUCKS YOU CAN'T ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT IN THE BUDDHIST SENSE / T-Rex: Oh, IT'S ON! / Narrator: BUT SOON: / T-Rex: Man! Forget discovering the true nature of reality! / T-Rex: How exactly am I supposed to lose my ego and become enlightened through meditation? SAYING "PRACTICE"...
 
the first snow of the year in this immediate locale T-Rex: It snowed last night. The first snow of the year! / T-Rex: It's sincerely excellent! / T-Rex: I'm sure in a few months I will be bored with the snow, but right now it is exciting and magical and makes everything look pretty! / Dromiceiomimus: Yes! It is unfortunate that the cabin you're stepping...
PALAEONTOLOGY NOTE: t.rexes did actually have ears. they didn't have pinnae, which are the external ... T-Rex: I Have come up with a hilarious THREE-LEVEL PUN, Dromiceiomimus! Check it out! Instead of saying "I'll play it by ear", I point to my ear and say "I guess I'll play it by HERE!" / T-Rex: Hah hah hah! / Dromiceiomimus: I don't get it, T-Rex. I mean, I get that "here" sounds like "ear", but...
PEOPLE IN TELEGRAMS TALKED LIKE GOD COMMA THE DEVIL STOP OR AT LEAST THEY DID IN MY ROMANTICISED MEMORY ... T-Rex: How come nobody has ever sent me a telegram? Telegrams are old-skool classiness given physical form! / / T-Rex: One telegram, please !! / Dromiceiomimus: Can you still send non-singing and stripping telegrams? I thought email had basically replaced them. / T-Rex: Not Hardly! Telegrams were better...
it was the most inappropriate thing he could think up on such short notice T-Rex: If I could give up any sense, what would it be? It's not going to be hearing or talking, because I do those ALL THE TIME. / God: ALSO "TALKING" ISN'T A SENSE / T-Rex: Whatevs! / T-Rex: And I don't want to give up touch, because then I'd be bumping my body into spikes and BARELY EVEN NOTICING....
I, like most men, am a giant neon green tyrannosaurus rex T-Rex: I, like most men, have stepped on a few tiny women in my day. / T-Rex: This i claim! / T-Rex: However, I don't claim to be a misogynist! It is a problem that the very tall face when confronted with the very tiny. Sometimes you step on them by accident! / Dromiceiomimus: But you step on them...
 
if you know someone named 'boy howdy' then you could send just panel two to them and be kind of a jer... Narrator: BAD KISSES COMICS / Narrator: featuring t-rex: dinosaur, protagonist, erstwhile, smoocher / T-Rex: Here are some bad kisses i have had. Boy howdy! / T-Rex: KISS THE FIRST: one time i was SERIOUSLY kissing a lady and thought of how bad it would be if I started laughing right then, and the image...
joey comeau of a softer world dot com likes will and grace, so i ask him to tell me some good 'will and ... T-Rex: God, I've been watching a pretty good TV show lately! It's called "Scrubs". It's pretty okay! / God: ARE YOU KIDDING ME / God: THE BEST TV SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TIME IS WILL AND GRACE / T-Rex: What?! / T-Rex: You're crazy! Will and Grace is terrible! They always forget to put in jokes in their...
panel five's dialogue of 'public love and recognition' was originally typed as 'public love recognition', ... T-Rex: What have I done with my life? For serious! I am getting older and if things keep up this way I will die an unremarkable dude. / T-Rex: My epitaph will be "HERE LIES AND UNREMARKABLE DUDE :( BUT HEY I GET THERE'S SOMEONE RAD TO THE LEFT ;D"! / T-Rex: Actually, that's a pretty sweet epitaph. / T-Rex:...
i would make informed opinions about archaeology comics, but my only archaeologist friend is in grena... [[UNINFORMED OPINIONS ABOUT ARCHAEOLOGY COMICS]] / T-Rex: I am a dude with some SERIOUSLY UNINFORMED opinions about archaeology! / T-Rex: Okay! We're digging up stuff all the time, right? And talk to any archaeologist and they'll complain about sites that have been damaged or destroyed by under-informed...
t-rex's last line is supposed to be like a "damn it, ryan!" as you might say if i ruined your quiche ... Narrator: INFORMED OPINIONS ABOUT ARCHAEOLOGY COMICS / T-Rex: Yes! I have actually done some research this time. Schwing! / T-Rex: And it turns out I was TOTALLY CORRECT! / T-Rex: Archaeologists ARE aware that they're mining a finite resource, and when possible, they only dig a little and leave some...
 

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