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| It's me, dude! | T-Rex: You know who's never been drunk? NOT EVER? NOT EVEN ONCE?? / God: IS IT YOU
/ T-Rex: It's me, dude! / God: WOW THAT'S SO FASCINATING
/ T-Rex: It is! It's on account of how I've got so much body mass that it takes a lot to get me TOTALLY WASTED. I've been buzzed, but never drunk! I've never... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1055 |
| dromiceiomimus is saying 'of course!!' in the way one might say it when one is about to follow it up ... | T-Rex: Ah, what a busy day. Time for me to go to bed and be naked and unconscious for, oh, about eight hours! / Music: Party party party hard Party in a dude's backyard Party party party nice Party hard to be precise / Narrator: Later:
/ T-Rex: So there I was, lying my in bed, ALMOST ASLEEP,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1056 |
| utahraptor wishes t-rex would type a bit more formally when chatting with him. he also wishes that they ... | T-Rex: I have a problem! The problem is that when I'm chatting online with someone, I - I sometimes steal their writing styles? / T-Rex: It's like I have no chatting identity of my own! / T-Rex: If they're not using capital letters, I'll stop using them too, because I don't want to seem all hoity-toity!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1057 |
| i like how dino babies goes straight to #1. #1 what? it doesn't matter! #1, baby! | T-Rex: Dino babies! / T-Rex: THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus! Dino babies! I'm - I'm going to write a story in which we're all babies! And friends. Friendly dino babies!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Are we precocious?
/ T-Rex: We'll talk and go on adventures even though we're all in diapers!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1058 |
| this comic firmly establishes in continuity that t-rex has lost contact with the beth he had a crush ... | T-Rex: I really wish I still knew someone named Beth. / T-Rex: I would make SO MANY jokes about her name! / T-Rex: I like the name Beth, but I ALSO like how I could say things like the classic "She's the Beth of both worlds" and the sassy "the Beth I could have hoped for". Hee hee!
/ T-Rex: I'd use... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1059 |
| this isn't my story. it happened to my brother. that's gross, victor. | God: HEY T-REX
/ God: HEY
/ God: WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER HAD IN YOUR MOUTH / T-Rex: Are you sure you want to know?
/ God: MOST DEFINITELY / T-Rex: Okay. But it's gross! I was riding my bike and I accidentally -- I'm sorry, this is disgusting. There was a dead mouse on the side of the road,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1060 |
| i would do this with my friends, but i'm pretty sure they wouldn't consent to it. all i want is to tie ... | T-Rex: I have a great idea! A way to add DRAMA to our everyday lives. / T-Rex: Let's all promise to meet in a pub somewhere in 10 years! / T-Rex: It'll be rad, Dromiceiomimus! It'll be an element of predictability in an otherwise chaotic universe. It'll let us know that no matter what we do, we'll... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1061 |
| okay okay i'll answer the other questions. the answers to the other questions are, um: "it keeps things ... | T-Rex: God, you know those dreams where you're about to have an exam and you haven't studied at all?
/ God: YEPPERS
/ T-Rex: What's the DEAL? / T-Rex: And how come bad things happen to nice people?!
/ God: UH / T-Rex: And how come everything I do can have such a big effect on the future, but I have no... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1062 |
| 'back to prison' isn't even a good old guy joke. but i don't know how to write old guy jokes because ... | T-Rex: September is coming, and that means BACK TO SCHOOL! / T-Rex: Woo! Back to school! / T-Rex: I can't decide what I like more: the fantastic back-to-school savings, OR the renewed chance at educational glory? I guess I like them both equally.
/ T-Rex: No wait, I like the savings more!! / Utahraptor:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1063 |
| Everyone named "Jennifer" will probably hate me. | T-Rex: I have just had the greatest idea. Oh my goodness. Everyone named "Jennifer" will probably hate me. / Narrator: T-REX'S GREAT IDEA
/ Narrator: oh my goodness
/ Narrator: everyone named "jennifer" will probably hate him / T-Rex: There's tons of women named Jennifer, right Dromiceiomimus?
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1064 |
| backstory: yesterday dromiceiomimus jennifed a dude? | T-Rex: So Dromiceiomimus was making out with some random guy and jennifing his face. That's fine.
/ T-Rex: No it's not fine. / T-Rex: I thought we had a thing going! / Dromiceiomimus: I don't know why you're talking about this here, of all places, T-Rex, but we DO have a thing going. We have a very... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1065 |
| shakespeare wants to put the "forsooth! that shakespeare chap is excellent!" quote as the dedication ... | Narrator: LITERARY TECHNIQUE COMICS
/ Narrator: today's technique: AUTHOR INSERTION
/ T-Rex: This is when the author puts himself in his story! It happens whenever Hamlet is heard to remark "Forsooth!! That Shakespeare chap is excellent!" / T-Rex: ("Forsooth" is how people spoke in olden times!) / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1066 |
| who here's daydreams end with a "the end" title card? raise your hands. | T-Rex: Having conversations can be hard! Sometimes you will not know waht to say and then you'll look dumb. If someone says "What do you think?" and you say "Uh - um, see, - uhh..." then you will look dumb. / T-Rex: I don't really have a solution to this. / Narrator: THE END / T-Rex: Man, forget that!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1067 |
| handsome john martz came up with the 'clark ent' bit. i came up with 'bruce swain' part when i saw a ... | T-Rex: I have the best idea for a Batman comic. It's a Batman comic about a Batman who exists in our world, the real world. But he doesn't know he's Batman yet. And his name is Bruce Swain! / [[second panel has no dialogue]] / T-Rex: Get it, Dromiceiomimus? It's clever because it sounds like "Bruce... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1068 |
| now that my comic's done, i think i'll have a celebratory shower! i'm just kidding. i shower every day, ... | God: T-REX
/ T-Rex: God.
/ God: LISTEN / God: I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE A TINY BATMAN HEAD AROUND YOU YESTERDAY
/ T-Rex: Indubitably! / God: SO MY QUESTION TO THAT IS WHAT'S THE DEAL
/ T-Rex: As near as I can figure it, the only logical explanation is that I love Batman SO MUCH that it made him real!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1069 |
| people who had sex last night: dinosaur comics TOTALLY has your back. | Narrator: I GUESS WE HAD SEX LAST NIGHT
/ Narrator: a web card / T-Rex: Hah! LOOKS LIKE IT, bucko! / T-Rex: I love the idea of someone who sends a card after a night of sex. It's sort of classy but also sort of insane?
/ Dromiceiomimus: I've never seen a "thanks for the sex" card. What do they say? "Hey... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1070 |
| people who didn't have sex last night and want to be all passive-aggressive about it: dinosaur comics ... | Narrator: I GUESS I HAD A GOOD TIME LAST NIGHT even though we didn't have sex
/ Narrator: A WEB CARD / T-Rex: Classy, dude! / T-Rex: Anyway, dear recipient of this card: the sender had a good time last night, even though you didn't have sex with him! You don't NEED to have sex to have a good time. Just... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1071 |
| A CROSSOVER WITH A SOFTER WORLD DOT COM? PERHAPS!! | Narrator: YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT I LIKE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS a web "card"
/ T-Rex: Your email address! It's - / T-Rex: It's SO GOOD. / T-Rex: Maybe it's whoistopless@ohheyeveryoneitsme.com, dowepartyhard@yesthatishowweparty.net, OR imtiredofpartying@guessimelderlynow.co.uk. Any of those are good.
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1072 |
| special guest monday: ryan estrada! | T-Rex: Hey guys, do you ever think about what you want to be when you grow up? There are so many options! Teacher, astronaut, fireman, executive administrative assistant... / Dromiceiomimus: You need to go to school for all those things. All you ever do is stomp.
/ T-Rex: You did not let me finish.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1073 |
| the other night i dreamt i met george takei at a party! it's a good dream to have! i just wanted to s... | T-Rex: I bet I still have all sorts of secret skills I just haven't discovered yet. Like - like throwing my voice!
/ Future T-Rex: Yoo-hoo! / T-Rex: OH MY GOODNESS I JUST DID IT! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus! I can throw my voice! Check it out!
/ T-Rex: Yoo-hoo!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Wow!
/ T-Rex: NO, not wow -... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1074 |
| you can read it online! you should go read it online. | Narrator: COMPRESSED CLASSIC SCIENCE FICTION SHORT STORIES today's story: THE LAST QUESTION BY ISAAC ASIMOV / T-Rex: Okay in this story I'm a computer called Multivac! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, ask me if there will ever be a way to stop the sun from running down. Ask me if there will ever be a way... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1075 |
| the idea there with the dog necktie thing is that if your dog has a necktie, maybe he'll want to achieve ... | T-Rex: I have an extra $50 that I have saved. I believe I will put it in my bank account! / God: NO T-REX THAT IS A BAD IDEA
/ T-Rex: Explain! / God: IF YOU LEAVE MONEY IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IT GETS INTEREST BUT IF IT'S NOT AS MUCH AS INFLATION YOU'RE ACTUALLY LOSING MONEY PLUS YOUR INVESTMENTS COULD... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1076 |
| what have you done for me lately? | T-Rex: I just had the funniest thought! The thought was, wouldn't it be HILARIOUS if someone thought that I was coasting on past successes? That would be funny because it's SO not me. / T-Rex: SO. NOT. ME. / Dromiceiomimus: Well, T-Rex. . . maybe it is you a little, you know? You do kind of talk yourself... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1077 |
| mr. tusks, i wrote a story about a tiny chef that you should read! i think you might find it just a... ... | Narrator: ISLAND DWARFISM COMICS
/ T-Rex: Island dwarfism is BASICALLY the best form of evolution ever. / T-Rex: It's SO CUTE! / T-Rex: Basically, the idea is that if a species gets to an island and is then isolated, it can evolve on its own, apart from what's happening on the rest of the planet. And... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1078 |
| it's because you love that tiny joke, t-rex, no matter how many times you hear it. but i do too so we're ... | T-Rex: Island gigantism is a pretty okay form of evolution.
/ T-Rex: It's okay. / Narrator: ISLAND GIGANTISM COMICS / T-Rex: So what happens here is you've got a population that's so isolated on an island, but you have plenty of food and no predators! So smaller animals like birds and rodents that normal... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1079 |
| is - is there a mrs. tusks? | T-Rex: I'm Just so happy that I have a new friend who is a tiny elephant. Oh my goodness, I can't say how happy that makes me. To think of all these years I was looking for happiness in RELATIONSHIPS and SOCIETY when all that I wanted... / T-Rex: ...was a tiny elephant friend named Mr. Tusks! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1080 |
| the answer is yes, an act can be immoral but still ethical! for instance what if you hate people eating ... | Narrator: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ETHICS AND MORALS
/ Narrator: hey adults! put me in your wallet! / T-Rex: Ethics and morals are not the same thing! / T-Rex: I know! It's CRAZY. But ethics are something that you learn and study and are applied in society, while morals are more natural and instinctive.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1081 |
| i cut out panels of t-rex saying "hello, HELLO, hello" in a mirror over and over, trying to achieve the ... | T-Rex: Okay, okay, so we can modify our personality, right? We're not the same people we were when we were six years old, and part of that has to be controlled by us. / T-Rex: We make New Year's Resolutions for a reason! / T-Rex: So we've got a self-modifying system: we examine our personality, determine... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1082 |
| sorry to anybody named "dweeb o rama" in the audience | Narrator: SLANG FOR TEENS / T-Rex: Teens! Are you interested in slang? / T-Rex: Here is some handy slang for you, teens! "Bad" means "good". For example, "that rock concert was BAD!" Further, "bogus" means "bad", but these aren't transitive. Something that's bogus isn't good. "Bodacious" means "good",... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1083 |
| my best mystery writing, ladies and gentlemen! | Text: A MYSTERY STORY
/ Text: Once upon a time there was guy who "knocked over" (broke into) a bank and stole some money. Who did it? It was a mystery. Nobody knew the answer. They all asked each other who "knocked over" the bank but nobody knew for sure. / Text: It was this guy. He did it. T-Rex.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1084 |
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