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if any of my readers explode today due to a loss of atomic cohesion, i'll be all, wow, did i call that ...	Narrator: HI! HERE'S SOME THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG TODAY! / Narrator: UNCONTROLLED WILDFIRES / T-Rex: I don't live near trees! / Narrator: THEY'LL FIND YOU / Narrator: THE AIR SURROUNDING YOU SI THERE DUE TO THE COMPLEX AND RANDOM MOTION OF GAS MOLECULES. IT'S POSSIBLE THAT EACH AND EVERY MOLECULE... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1205
imaginary australian batman needs to stop having such a stereotypical viewpoint about australian batm...	T-Rex: BEFORE we had dictionaries, words could be spelt in a variety of different ways. Now that we have dictionaries, spellings are fixed. / T-Rex: This I accept! / T-Rex: It speeds up reading AND comprehension, and spelling errors give editors "easy points" when looking for something to edit. FINE.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1206
for reasons why i didn't write it like "british empiah", see the previous comic	T-Rex: Attention, everyone: stop misusing "literally"! / T-Rex: The word still has meaning, okay? / T-Rex: It is not a generic intensifier! / T-Rex: If you say that you were so hungry that you literally ate a horse, I want to see evidence that some horse lover is cheezed off at you. Similarly, if you... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1207
hi! here are some things that could go right today!	Narrator: HI! HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT COULD GO RIGHT TODAY! / T-Rex: Yes! Unbridled optimism appears to be the order of the day! / Narrator: YOUR RESPIRATION MIGHT BE UNINTERRUPTED! / T-Rex: Nice! / Narrator: YOUR CIRCULATORY SYSTEM MIGHT NOT SUFFER CATASTROPHIC FAILURE, LEAVING EVERY ONE OF THE CELLS... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1208
t-rex was going to go with "dearie", but cartoon grandmothers laid their claim on THAT long ago	T-Rex: Everyone knows I look forward to being an old man - that I covet the societal get out of jail free card that being old gives you! People will say, "Oh, don't mind T-Rex! He always pees on his neighbour's flowers." / T-Rex: "But it's because he's OLD." / T-Rex: But I think my issue is that while... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1209

dromiceiomimus winning an award for best supporting actor in a spontaneous tableau	T-Rex: Tableau vivant, or "tableau" is a form of theatre in which the actors strike a pose and then don't move! It's like a living picture. It is, in fact, French for "living picture". / T-Rex: And I am the kind of tableau, my friends! Check it out: / T-Rex: ...TABLEAU! / Utahraptor: Um, you're not... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1210
HELPFUL TIPS FOR ESSAY WRITING	Title: HELPFUL TIPS FOR ESSAY WRITING / T-Rex: Students! Are you having trouble writing essays? Maybe they're a little short? / T-Rex: Maybe just a little? / T-Rex: Well then, here are some friggin' tips!! / T-Rex: Okay, so everyone knows about making margins wide and using a big font, but teachers know... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1211
"for reals" is the new "seriously". for reals!	T-Rex: Man, I don't need that acting job anyway! I can get by on my good looks and charm ANYWAY, and "essay writing tips" are easy. / T-Rex: Easy! / T-Rex: For example, here's a tip! Maybe you could try understanding the topic at hand and expressing your views on it in a clear yet persuasive manner? / Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1212
DIFFERENT WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE COMEDIANS WHO ARE INCORRECT??	Narrator: DIFFERENT WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE WRONG COMICS / Narrator: WARNING: use only when somebody is DEFINITELY not correct right now / T-Rex: Yes! This will be handy for me, because people is sometimes wrong! / Narrator: THE "HEY DID YOU SEE THAT MOVIE" APPROACH: / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, all... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1213
An alternate corporate controlled universe where all songwriters have brain damage?	T-Rex: I like it when commercials license pop songs and then make up their own product centric lyrics. It's a window into an alternate corporate-controlled universe! / T-Rex: An alternate corporate controlled universe where all songwriters have brain damage? / T-Rex: The lyrics are always so terrible... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1214

that's the "writer being surrounded by his own words as he composes them" trope, so rarely used today	T-Rex: Man, who hasn't written a story about a Man With A Problem for a while? Is it me? / T-Rex: I'm pretty sure the answer is "YES!" / T-Rex: So my new story will be about a man whose problem is he weeps all the time. He's not sad, his eyes just produce water like it's going out of style. And he... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1215
for more information on these diseases, i, um, i made comics about them	T-Rex: It turns out there actually is a disease where you cry all of the time! Dacryorrhea! I made it up, but it already exists. / T-Rex: This is not the first time this has happened! / T-Rex: There's TONS of horrible diseases that sound like they're just made up by somebody, but actually do exist.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1216
sheep have freaky rectangular pupils. i'd have put them in with the raccoons and cephalopods, but nobody ...	T-Rex: Here are some more things that can go wrong with your body! Hypochondriacs: YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERY ONE OF THESE DISEASES! There is no room for doubt!! / T-Rex: First disease: fatal familial insomnia! / T-Rex: This is basically what it sounds like: fatal insomnia. First you have trouble... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1217
my friend naseem can't figure out these dinosaur comics either. TOO MANY WORDS, TOO MANY WORDS	T-Rex: A few months ago I said I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. It turns out it's a lot of work? / T-Rex: But guys! I still totally want to be a stand-up comedian! / T-Rex: So I've been doing RESEARCH. I've been going to Comedy Club after Komedy Klub and figuring out how their performers make... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1218
shouts out to everyone ELSE named "jack thompson". you guys - you guys got a bum deal.	The Devil: GREETINGS T-REX ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE NEWEST ENTRY IN THE POPULAR YET CONTROVERSIAL "GRAND THEFT AUTO" SERIES OF VIDEO GAMES / T-Rex: Yes! / The Devil: GUESS WHAT / The Devil: I MADE IT / T-Rex: Oh no you didn't! / T-Rex: We don't need people hearing that the DEVIL HIMSELF is now claiming... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1219

sorry, David B's "Epileptic" and "No Country For Old Men"! your narrative devices don't work on me! it's ...	T-Rex: I have a Problem as a reader, as a Consumer of Fictional and Non-Fictional Worlds. My problem is this: / T-Rex: I really don't think dreams are important? / T-Rex: I didn't think that MOST people thought that dreams were all that important, but I must be in a minority, because I keep seeing... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1220
Not when you have friggin' tips!	T-Rex: Writing fiction certainly isn't hard. Not when you have tips! / God: FRIGGIN' TIPS / T-Rex: Right. Not when you have friggin' tips! / Narrator: WRITING TIPS COMICS / T-Rex: Sometimes it can be hard to name characters. Here's a tip: name them after other, more famous characters, and add in some... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1221
say something better, like "He said, 'Either these curtains go or I do' and I said 'Yeah, thanks, OSC...	T-Rex: When I die, nobody say "he's at peace now", okay? I'm so serious right now. / T-Rex: Say something better, like "I can't believe he ate the whole thing!" / Dromiceiomimus: What's wrong with "He's at peace"? It's nice. / T-Rex: It's demeaning! It suggests that the whole point of life is to... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1222
t-rex was racist against taxi drivers a few years ago, but that's faded. he's forgotten it, so his wanting ...	T-Rex: I really don't understand racism. I get it at a "hey, here's what it is" level, but I don't understand how someone can really BE racist. Don't they feel kind of... ridiculous? / T-Rex: Anyway! With this in mind, I am going to become totally racist!! / T-Rex: But in order to keep my friends... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1223
my friend d. payne never got a doctorate degree OR became a major in the military. only recently have ...	T-Rex: WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH MY ANKLE. / T-Rex: HOLY CRAP. / Narrator: BACKSTORY: T-REX HAS HURT HIS ANKLE! / Dromiceiomimus: Maybe you should go see a doctor, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, you have stumbled upon my shameful secret! I- I don't have a family doctor! / Dromiceiomimus: Hey, it's no big... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1224

this comic was inspired by a conversation i had with someone, but i can't remember who. was it you, chris ...	T-Rex: The problem with Superman, and Spider-Man, AND Batman, and pretty much every other superhero, is that their stories don't have ends. They're all stuck in the same productive age range, 20-30 years old, and it's easy to see why! / T-Rex: Companies don't want their most popular characters dying... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1225
is the judge male or female? THAT depends on you, dear reader	T-Rex: I've come up with a great way to make any otherwise-flattering compliment totally creepy. It's so easy! / T-Rex: You just have to follow it up with "I like that in a woman"! / T-Rex: An example! Dromiceiomimus, you've got a very pretty body! / Dromiceiomimus: Um, thanks, I guess! / T-Rex: Now... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1226
if you aren't spelling "hovertrains" as one word, let me tell you: You Are Missing Out.	Narrator: "HORSES VS. TRAINS" / T-Rex: Ah, the age-old debate! Horses are okay. / T-Rex: If you don't have any trains around, that is!! / T-Rex: Horses eat grass. Trains are huge multi-ton machines that GET THINGS DONE. And then when you think trains are as great as it gets, you discover maglev trains!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1227
if comic strip AND irony-loving aliens are looking for an excuse to blow up the planet today, then this ...	T-Rex: Everyone! / T-Rex: Let's pretend the Earth is going to explode at midnight tonight! / Dromiceiomimus: Aw crap! The world is going to explode at midnight tonight! / T-Rex: I know, right? Who are you going to hang out with? If you try to reach a single person who's far away, it means you can't... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1228
this year, yesterday was the day that i broke out the shorts.	T-Rex: Man, who is the dude who dropped his wallet in the toilet last night? WAS IT ME? / T-Rex: DEFINITELY NOT. / Dromiceiomimus: Hey, T-Rex, did you drop your wallet in my - / T-Rex: You've got the wrong guy, my friend! / Dromiceiomimus: Okay, it's just - there was a wallet in my toilet this morning,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1229

"phallocentric euphoria sounds like regular sex?" - JOEY COMEAU	T-Rex: There are not enough internet acronyms. If I want to speak entirely in internet acronyms like LOL and ROFL - / T-Rex: - WHICH I DO - / T-Rex: - then my emotions are limited only to the crudest of feelings! I can laugh out loud or I can roll on (the) floor laughing, but what if I'm chuckling?... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1230
whenever i mention something specific in the comic i get emails from someone who did that specific thing ...	Narrator: AWKWARD MOMENT COMICS ] [: / T-Rex: Earlier today my nose was like, "Hey, T-Rex! I'm gonna leak blood for no reason!" and I was all "...Awesome?" / T-Rex: And as it turns out... it is not that awesome? / T-Rex: And it seems I bled all over my pillow during the night, and then when I woke up... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1231
the heart-pounding-out-of-the-chest thing is so that it's very easy to tell when someone likes you. however, ...	Narrator: WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON STEREOTYPE COMICS / T-Rex: Oh man. The heart pounding out-of-the-chest "I'm in love" reaction shot! / T-Rex: Second ONLY to the "I'm so angry my head is now a steamwhistle, toot toot" motif. / T-Rex: If I had three wishes - and the wishes had to be about cartoon... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1232
My body temperature matches the environment's to within a small degree!	T-Rex: I'm cold-blooded! Check it and see. / T-Rex: My body temperature matches the environment's to within a small degree! / Dromiceiomimus: You're cold-blooded? / T-Rex: I'm cold-blooded! / Utahraptor: No you're not, T-Rex! / T-Rex: UTAHRAPTOR. / Utahraptor: The whole idea of the cold/warm... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1233
To The Bitter End	Narrator: JOKES FOR OFFICE WORKERS / T-rex: What's the deal with hitting "Reply all" when really you just wanted to hit "reply"? Am I right? / T-Rex: There's the modern age for you, cats and kittens! / T-Rex: Why don't they make some sort of confirmation whenever we want to reply to all so we don't end... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1234
To The Bitter End	Narrator: JOKES FOR OFFICE WORKERS / T-rex: What's the deal with hitting "Reply all" when really you just wanted to hit "reply"? Am I right? / T-Rex: There's the modern age for you, cats and kittens! / T-Rex: Why don't they make some sort of confirmation whenever we want to reply to all so we don't end... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1234

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