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| if internal pluralization was a woman i would date her; i can't be the only one thinking this; i can't ... | T-Rex: Got FRIGGIN' COCKROACHES in your house? No problem!
/ T-Rex: They're tropical insects, cats and kittens! / T-Rex: Turn off the heat and wait for winter, and it's curtains for them! / Dromiceiomimus: But isn't it likely they'd just move next door where it's still warm, and then move back when... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1784 |
| t-rex has said "This just in" before, so I guess this comic establishes that either he forgot about that, ... | T-Rex: God, is it ONLY reporters who get to say "This just in"?
/ God: LISTEN T-REX MOST FOLKS WOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A CHUMMY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD WITH BETTER QUESTIONS LIKE FOR EXAMPLE I DON'T KNOW
/ God: UM / God: WHERE'D I PUT MY KEYS
/ T-Rex: Dude! / T-Rex: My keys are right where I left them,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1785 |
| how to bluff your way through every dinosaur comic: JUST LAUGH, OKAY?? LIKE, A WHOLE LOT. also maybe ... | Narrator: HOW TO BLUFF YOUR WAY THROUGH EVERY CONVERSATION ABOUT WHICH PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE IS BEST
/ T-Rex: Man. Okay. You have probably made some bad decisions lately if you find yourself in one of these conversations. / T-Rex: But it's not too late! / T-Rex: All you need to know about these conversations... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1786 |
| this comic inspired by my good friend joey comeau, who when he lived with me was mr "candy and red bull ... | God: T-REX SETTLE A BET
/ God: WHAT'S FOR DINNER
/ T-Rex: Chocolate's for dinner, my friend! MILK CHOCOLATE. Followed by an ap?ritif of dark chocolate! / T-Rex: Preceded by an appetizer of caramel-filled chocolate! / T-Rex: Predicated on a first course of peanut-butter filled chocolate, of course, which... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1787 |
| the sinister forces that control the world are actually just one super needy guy | T-Rex: From now on, whenever I see someone checking their cell phone, I'll assume they're receiving instructions from the sinister shadow forces that control the world. / Narrator: SHORTLY:
/ T-Rex: Holy craps! / T-Rex: It's insane! I've only been doing this for a hour, but when I'm talking to someone... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1788 |
| If not that many guests show up, it MAY end up just being a fourgy. | T-Rex: If you have sex with a bunch of people at once, that's an orgy! / T-Rex: And if you do it in a room with no beds, that's a floorgy! / T-Rex: And if it ends up being pretty boring, that's a snoregy. Or a boregy. Worst case: cure, it's an adoregy! If they're not, it's a choregy. And depending... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1789 |
| third in the ongoing series, "r.m.s titanic's effect on our timeline" | T-Rex: Remember how the Titanic sank, and one of the issues with that was not enough lifeboats? After that disaster they tried to prevent THAT from ever happening again! / T-Rex: So they made a law that ships had to carry a full set of lifeboats! / T-Rex: Except this wasn't a great solution on some... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1790 |
| SPOILER ALERT: this comic starts with the words "HOW TO NETWORK" | Narrator: HOW TO NETWORK
/ T-Rex: Haha, okay, man. You're at a party or a conference and you're obsessed with networking. And nobody wants to talk to you and you can't figure out why? / God: T-REX THIS IS NOT VERY HELPFUL
/ T-Rex: FINE, here's how to network! / T-Rex: Find people you don't know and say... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1791 |
| let's all act like this is a deal even if you don't consent to it, okay? | T-Rex: What happens tomorrow is based on what happens today.
/ T-Rex: Guys!
/ T-Rex:I can make tomorrow totally awesome! / T-Rex:I just have to be slightly less awesome today! / T-Rex: Awesomeness builds on itself. If I build a robot suit today, that's pretty awesome, but if tomorrow I change it so it... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1792 |
| a very common duress phrase is "i'd rather be fishing": if you see it written on anyone's bumper it means ... | T-Rex: If I'm ever taken hostage and am forced to do things UNDER DURESS, I'm gonna need a new code phrase! The old one involving chicken husbandry was way too hard.
/ T-Rex: Okay. Chicken husbandry ITSELF was way too hard. Anyway. / T-Rex: I still TOTALLY need to let people know I'm acting against my... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1793 |
| yes i got the idea for this comic while writing the news post yesterday, is that obvious | T-Rex: Today is the day I write an amazing sequel to somebody else's book. Oh yes. We've all read Orwell's 1984, but are we ready for... T-Rex's 1985?! / T-Rex: I really hope we are because oh FRIG, it's heading towards us like an out-of-control train!! / T-rex: The year: 1985. The situation: it's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1794 |
| i'm not fully clothed / and, i'm sorry, but that's the situation and we all have to deal with it | T-Rex: Outside of the card is just the words, "I'M NOT GAY.", all caps, a nice bold sans-seirf on a stark white background. You open it up, and in smaller type it reads "but I'm gay for you"! And there's a little hearts! OH MY GOD! / T-Rex: ADORABLE / T-Rex: We're going to have a full line of cards,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1795 |
| luisa q is actually named "luisa ku", t-rex is the worst at transposing foreign names delivered orally, ... | T-Rex: I've written terrifying horror stories, but I've never written a terrifying ROMANCE story! UNTIL NOW. *ahem*
/ T-Rex: "Antonio Tony and Louisa Q were two people in love! ROMANTIC love!" / T-Rex: "It was terrifying to each of them, but for different personal reasons." / T-Rex: "Despite that, they... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1796 |
| YOU ARE PROBABLY A CYBORG RIGHT NOW. are you aware?? | T-Rex: The word "cybernetic" isn't JUST about abominable marriages of flesh and machine with glowing red eyes that hate all organic life, or as THEY call them, "organos". / T-Rex: At its core, it refers to a control system that adjusts itself to feedback! / T-Rex: Let's say I want my room to be at... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1797 |
| hey, what do my hands look like right now? I CAN ONLY GUESS, NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE | T-Rex: The word "cybernetic" isn't JUST about abominable marriages of flesh and machine with glowing red eyes that hate all organic life, or as THEY call them, "organos". / T-Rex: At its core, it refers to a control system that adjusts itself to feedback! / T-Rex: Let's say I want my room to be at... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1798 |
| guest comic by Lore Sj?berg of badgods.com! | Mammuthus Primigenius: There's a webcomic I enjoy, but one thing bothers me! / Mammuthus Primigenius: It lacks continuity! / Mammuthus Primigenius: The characters are all dinosaurs, but they talk about bat-man and make-outs! But sometimes they admit they're dinosaurs!
/ Sabre-tooth Tiger: Not everything... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1799 |
| guest comic by Anthony Clark of nedroid.com! | [[Alt-art by Anthony Clark using a forest scene, sans house, car, and woman. Also T-Rex conspicuously absent until the last panel.]] / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex? / Utahraptor: T-Rex, where are you? / Utahraptor: If you're pretending to be kidnapped again to get attention it's not working! / Utahraptor:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1800 |
| guest comic by KC Green of gunshowcomic.com! | T-Rex: Wowza bowza! I got, like, half a vomit stuck in my throat. / Narrator: HALF A VOMIT COMICS
/ T-Rex: cough
/ T-Rex: hack / T-Rex: It's no good. Everything tastes bad and the rest could fly out any dang minute!!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Well please turn away from me if it does!
/ House: thank you / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1801 |
| guest comic by David McGuire of gastrophobia.com! | T-Rex: Oh man. You guys want to know what is seriously the WORST thing ever? / T-Rex; People who pronounce coupon as "CUE-PON" instead of "COOP-ON" / T-Rex: I mean, come on, people! Get with the program! Am I right?
/ Dromiceiomimus: And people who pronounce wash as "WARSH"?
/ T-Rex Oh my gosh, yes!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1802 |
| SECRETS OF THE ASTROPHYSICS PROFESSION | T-Rex: I admit it: a few days ago, I was tripping substantial balls over the fact that light takes time to reach me from across the room. But I'm better now! I am NO LONGER tripping balls, substantial OR otherwise. / T-Rex: Because I've realized: it takes time for my eyes to react to light, too! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1803 |
| honestly, really happy with panel three over here, if you'd been waiting five years to a callback to ... | T-Rex: Oh boy, am I ever glad I read the news today! I certainly am happy with all the terrible things happening in the world today. Attention, everyone within the sound of my voice! I was attempting: / T-Rex: SARCASM / Dromiceiomimus: So what bad news did you read, T-Rex? Oil spills? Environmental... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1804 |
| it occurs to me that if this is the first dinosaur comic you've ever read, t-rex just seems really prejudiced ... | T-Rex: Raccoons wash their food before they eat it, using their baleful, probing, nimble hands. We used to think they did this because they enjoyed being super adorable! / T-Rex: Hah, whoops! MY MISTAKE! / T-Rex: I didn't mean to say "adorable"; I meant to say "insanely creepy, washing their food while... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1805 |
| anyone who says they never tell a lie is lying to themselves at a preconscious level as their brain delays ... | T-Rex: So in an effort to trip countably fewer balls, I have been researching how my brain works. / T-Rex: Turns out, my brain is totally awesome! / T-Rex: AND NOBODY IS SURPRISED. / T-Rex: But check it out, Dromiceiomimus: we hear sound mechanically (sound waves hitting a membrane) which, IT TURNS... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1806 |
| inspired by the time i confused MY WIFE'S NAME with that of someone else that i'm not actually married ... | T-Rex: It's time for another one of my TRULY EXCELLENT PARTIES. And you're invited Utahraptor! Don't worry, I'll say it for you: "I'm totally coming, T-Rex! This sounds awesome!" / T-Rex: "You're so amazing sometimes! ALL THE TIMES, actually!" / Dromiceiomimus: Um - thanks for the invitation, dude.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1807 |
| inspired by the time i confused MY WIFE'S NAME with that of someone else that i'm not actually married ... | T-Rex: It's time for another one of my TRULY EXCELLENT PARTIES. And you're invited Utahraptor! Don't worry, I'll say it for you: "I'm totally coming, T-Rex! This sounds awesome!" / T-Rex: "You're so amazing sometimes! ALL THE TIMES, actually!" / Dromiceiomimus: Um - thanks for the invitation, dude.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1807 |
| FUN FACT: i do some translating in the comics. t-rex originally said "i am a new tyrannosauroid, protomammals ... | T-Rex: Okay, I've memorized everyone's names and will never mess up again. / T-Rex: I am a new man, cats and kittens! / T-Rex: "Dromiceiomimus". Your name is "Dromiceiomimus".
/ Dromiceiomimus: Thanks, T-Rex!
/ T-Rex: No problem! Watch this: I'm going to nail Utaraptor's name too. / Utahraptor: You... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1808 |
| three friends to replace a single you is all I'LL need, utahraptor! | Narrator: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS / T-Rex: Relationships are when you put two people in a jar, and then, you shake the jar! / T-Rex: And relationships are complicated and stuff, but DON'T WORRY: you know how many folks there are on the planet? Almost SEVEN BILLION FOLKS. That's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1809 |
| i have done both these experiments to confirm that they are fun. the first is messy and the second involves ... | Narrator: FUN EXPERIMENTS TO DO AT HOME
/ T-Rex: Attention, youths of today! Did you know that there are several fun experiments you can do at home? / T-Rex: For example, add vinegar to baking soda! / T-Rex: The resulting mixture will make a lot of bubbles and it's pretty cool. I'm serious: it's pretty... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1810 |
| kinda disappointed i called this series "dinosaur comics" and not "what the heck, everybody?". it - ... | T-Rex: I like swimmin' and my friends like swimmin', AND YET, none of us have a pool. What the heck, everybody? / T-Rex: It's time for us to make friends with some pool-owning dudes!! / Dromiceiomimus: We both know I'm always down for swimming, T-Rex, but isn't that a bit - mercenary?
/ T-Rex: No man!... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1811 |
| one very depressing room to wake up in. you wake up and you're all "aw man! thanks for REMINDING me... | T-Rex: Sleepwalking! I would like to get me some sleepwalking, please. And more than just sleepwalking! / T-Rex: There's been cases of sleeptalking, sleepemailin' and even sleepsexin'! / T-Rex: I WOULD TOTALLY BE DOWN WITH THAT. I lose like eight hours of productive time A DAY whenever I have to go... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1812 |
| if anyone's like, "ryan you can't REALLY write about bosses because you're self-employed!" you can just ... | T-Rex: This month -- this October, RIGHT NOW -- has five Fridays in it, AND five Saturdays, AND five Sundays! / T-Rex: This month might be the best month! / Dromiceiomimus: It's the same amount of days, though, T-Rex.
/ T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, you're totally looking at this the wrong way! This October... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1813 |
| if anyone's like, "ryan you can't REALLY write about bosses because you're self-employed!" you can just ... | T-Rex: This month -- this October, RIGHT NOW -- has five Fridays in it, AND five Saturdays, AND five Sundays! / T-Rex: This month might be the best month! / Dromiceiomimus: It's the same amount of days, though, T-Rex.
/ T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, you're totally looking at this the wrong way! This October... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1813 |
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