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| It clearly specified that participation today is mandatory. | T-Rex: Alright dudes! Today is TELL EVERYONE ABOUT ME (T-REX) day. It's the day where I finally get tons of new friends! I will finally be / T-Rex: POPULAR / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, what are you doing here?! You should be out talking me up!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Huh. I guess I'm just really bad at TELL EVERYONE... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1814 |
| how about you call your play "knaves ahoy", i will pay you 500 of what you'd call futurebux if you call ... | T-Rex: We don't have all of Shakespeare's plays. Turns out, we TOTALLY LOST some of the work of the greatest playwright in the English language ever! / T-Rex: Whoops! Butterfingers! / T-Rex: So yeah, if you're wondering what happened in "The History of Cardenio" then KEEP WONDERING, because none of... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1815 |
| Mr. How Come I Can't Nominate Myself, Nobody Knows My Accomplishments Better Is The Thing | T-Rex: Another year without me being awarded a Nobel Peace Prize! I hate to me "Mr. Where's My Peace Prize Already", but, well - here we are. I GUESS that's who I am now. I GUESS I should get some new business cards printed up. / T-Rex: This is kinda getting old, you guys! / T-Rex: I'm just - I'm not... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1816 |
| lawsuits are a KIND of fame | T-Rex: I am going to write an amazing play, and it will be hilarious and beautiful and meaningful and have depths that will keep critics writing for generations, and it will make me famous and rich. / T-Rex: Looks like this morning just got a friggin' GOALSET, baby! / Narrator: SOON:
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1817 |
| lawsuits are a KIND of fame | T-Rex: I am going to write an amazing play, and it will be hilarious and beautiful and meaningful and have depths that will keep critics writing for generations, and it will make me famous and rich. / T-Rex: Looks like this morning just got a friggin' GOALSET, baby! / Narrator: SOON:
/ Dromiceiomimus:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1817 |
| back in time in all caps in the first panel, back in time in all caps whenever i say it | T-Rex: Okay, I hate to be the one to say it, but I must be pretty great because I just had ANOTHER brilliant idea about time travel! Suppose it's possible to send a message BACK IN TIME. / T-Rex: And suppose causality still holds, so that events in the past determine the future! / T-Rex: So when I... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1818 |
| and yes, i AM fun at parties. until someone keeps blinking | T-Rex: What day is it? Friday? It must be Friday because it's time for more... / T-Rex: SECRETS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION / T-Rex: So what you do is tap someone on the head between the eyes and above the nose! They'll reflexively blink each time you tap them until they get wise to you game, at which... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1819 |
| and yes, i AM fun at parties. until someone keeps blinking | T-Rex: What day is it? Friday? It must be Friday because it's time for more... / T-Rex: SECRETS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION / T-Rex: So what you do is tap someone on the head between the eyes and above the nose! They'll reflexively blink each time you tap them until they get wise to you game, at which... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1819 |
| "i hope you do because oh snap!": the unchallengeable explanation that can always stand on its own | T-Rex: Do you guys know about T-Rex's Three Laws of Parties? I hope you do, because oh snap! This dude just went eponymous! / Narrator: T-REX'S THREE LAWS OF PARTIES / T-Rex: Law one: a sweet party may not injure sexy times or, through inaction, allow sexy times to come to harm. LAW TWO: a sweet party... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1820 |
| "i hope you do because oh snap!": the unchallengeable explanation that can always stand on its own | T-Rex: Do you guys know about T-Rex's Three Laws of Parties? I hope you do, because oh snap! This dude just went eponymous! / Narrator: T-REX'S THREE LAWS OF PARTIES / T-Rex: Law one: a sweet party may not injure sexy times or, through inaction, allow sexy times to come to harm. LAW TWO: a sweet party... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1820 |
| AND ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THE CELEBRATION I am! | God: T-REX ISN'T YOUR BIRTHDAY COMING UP SOON
/ T-Rex: It is! / God: AND ARE YOU EXCITED FOR THE CELEBRATION
/ T-Rex: I am! / God: AND HAVE YOU ACHIEVED YOUR LIFE-LONG GOAL OF BECOMING IMMORTAL YET
/ T-Rex: I -
/ T-Rex: Oh yeah. / T-Rex: Okay guys: I've seriously got to become immortal, STAT.
/ Utahraptor:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1821 |
| some people think t-rex having a birthday means the end of history. well... we haven't run out of history ... | T-Rex: Man, I shouldn't be down about not YET being immortal. There's all sorts of different forms of immortality! Immortality through art, through deed... / T-Rex: ...through ensuring that if I don't live forever, the forever only lasts only as long as I do... / Dromiceiomimus: What?! What was that... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1822 |
| I think they'd really like it! | T-Rex: I'd really like to get my friends a "thanks for being awesome" present! But all I can think to give them is a website link. It's to a site that lets you check out how sweet some home appliances are! / T-Rex: I think they'd really like it! / T-Rex: But our culture is crazy, Dromiceiomimus, because... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1823 |
| I think they'd really like it! | T-Rex: I'd really like to get my friends a "thanks for being awesome" present! But all I can think to give them is a website link. It's to a site that lets you check out how sweet some home appliances are! / T-Rex: I think they'd really like it! / T-Rex: But our culture is crazy, Dromiceiomimus, because... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1823 |
| okay so more analogies involving SIEGE MACHINES please | T-Rex: Alright, I'll say it: speeding music up makes songs sound ridiculous. / T-Rex: There must be a way to capitalize on this!! / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, I believe this has already been capitalized on... by Alvin and his associated Chipmunks?
/ T-Rex: Right, right. Okay. Well, um, slowing DOWN music... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1824 |
| okay so more analogies involving SIEGE MACHINES please | T-Rex: Alright, I'll say it: speeding music up makes songs sound ridiculous. / T-Rex: There must be a way to capitalize on this!! / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, I believe this has already been capitalized on... by Alvin and his associated Chipmunks?
/ T-Rex: Right, right. Okay. Well, um, slowing DOWN music... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1824 |
| ERROR: L IS FOR THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME O IS FOR THE ONLY ONE I SEE V IS VERY VERY EXTRAORDINARY E IS ... | T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, we've been friends for over 10 years! / T-Rex: When you think about it, we've been friends for over a quarter of my life! / T-Rex: Woah. That's - that's actually a really long time.
/ Dromiceiomimus: But a good time too!
/ T-Rex: Oh, absolutely! But imagine our friendship as... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1825 |
| ERROR: L IS FOR THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME O IS FOR THE ONLY ONE I SEE V IS VERY VERY EXTRAORDINARY E IS ... | T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, we've been friends for over 10 years! / T-Rex: When you think about it, we've been friends for over a quarter of my life! / T-Rex: Woah. That's - that's actually a really long time.
/ Dromiceiomimus: But a good time too!
/ T-Rex: Oh, absolutely! But imagine our friendship as... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1825 |
| anyone who can show their 100% authentic birth certificate authenticating their name as "Cheeseburger" ... | T-Rex: I don't have all the details on my new fantastic story, but I have a title! It's called "Oh No, I Think That Machine Tells You How You're Going To Die!" / T-Rex: It takes place in a world where everyone knows how they're going to die! / T-Rex: You waltz into a doctor's office and take a blood... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1826 |
| anyone who can show their 100% authentic birth certificate authenticating their name as "Cheeseburger" ... | T-Rex: I don't have all the details on my new fantastic story, but I have a title! It's called "Oh No, I Think That Machine Tells You How You're Going To Die!" / T-Rex: It takes place in a world where everyone knows how they're going to die! / T-Rex: You waltz into a doctor's office and take a blood... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1826 |
| proportions of coloured males is stable in the long term, but fluctutes quite a bit in the short term, ... | T-Rex: There's a species of side-blotched lizards where the males have coloured throats, and they're either orange, blue, or yellow! The orange ones are biggest, the blue ones ar medium sized, and the yellow ones are tiniest. / T-Rex: I PROMISE THIS STORY TOTALLY GETS BETTER / T-Rex: Okay, so what's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1827 |
| don't *I*?? | T-Rex: Wouldn't it be amazing to write down everything you are and everything you know into a book, so that someone reading it could know you as well as you know yourself?
/ T-Rex: Hey! / T-Rex: I'll save you the trouble; the answer is "YES, OBVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE!" / T-Rex: So um, why hasn't anyone... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1828 |
| i feel like i should do more comics about death, what good is being part glenn beck's liberal culture ... | T-Rex: So um, I just I found out that you can make a really good pasta sauce out of like, a can of crushed tomatoes and some spices. Maybe some garlic too. / T-Rex: I've been paying ACTUAL DOLLARS for canned pasta sauces for years! / T-Rex: I've chumpatized myself! I'm like the guy eating at Burger... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1829 |
| how to bluff your way through every conversation about Sports Day, that loveable member of the Day ho... | T-Rex: Have you lied about liking a sport and now you're being called out on that lie? Okay. Lucky for you, it's / Narrator: HOW TO BLUFF YOUR WAY THROUGH EVERY CONVERSATION ABOUT SPORTS
/ T-Rex: ... day! / T-Rex: Maybe that wasn't clear. It's "How to bluff your way through every conversation about... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1830 |
| If I want to lose twenty pounds, I have to work at it! I can't just dehirsutify. UNLESS...! | T-Rex: Mammals have it pretty great! I gotta admit: I'm kinda jealous of them sometimes! / T-Rex: What with all their hair and whatnot! / Dromiceiomimus: You're seriously jealous of mammals, T-Rex?
/ T-Rex: Just their body hair, Dromiceiomimus! Not only can they style it so that one mammal can look... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1831 |
| this comic originally began with the line "My name is T-Rex and I'm here to say / That I'm the rappingest ... | T-Rex: I'm not in love! I'm not. So everyone can just remember that. You know what it is? / T-Rex: IT'S A PHASE. / T-Rex: It's just - it's a silly phase I'm going through.
/ Dromiceiomimus: You'd like to see someone, but then again, it doesn't mean they mean that much to you?
/ T-Rex: YES. Oh my gosh,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1832 |
| this comic originally began with the line "My name is T-Rex and I'm here to say / That I'm the rappingest ... | T-Rex: I'm not in love! I'm not. So everyone can just remember that. You know what it is? / T-Rex: IT'S A PHASE. / T-Rex: It's just - it's a silly phase I'm going through.
/ Dromiceiomimus: You'd like to see someone, but then again, it doesn't mean they mean that much to you?
/ T-Rex: YES. Oh my gosh,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1832 |
| it's a powerful image for the passage of time that ALSO doubles as a reminder of when Martin Luther King ... | T-Rex: Okay! So the average life expetancy is what - 81 years? That's pretty terrific. That's a good long time - 29585 days! / T-Rex: EACH OF THEM SUPER AWESOME, hopefully?? / T-Rex: But MY awesome idea is this: a page-a-day calendar with 29585 pages on it! You tear off a page every day until you run... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1833 |
| electrons: they're okay | Narrator: ASK PROFESSOR SCIENCE
/ T-Rex: Seriously though, only ask him about science stuff, okay? / T-Rex: Our first letter comes from Utahraptor! / T-Rex: Utahraptor writes, "Dear Professor Science: all electrons share the same properties, but we don't know any reason why this should be so. Could... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1834 |
| electrons: they're okay | Narrator: ASK PROFESSOR SCIENCE
/ T-Rex: Seriously though, only ask him about science stuff, okay? / T-Rex: Our first letter comes from Utahraptor! / T-Rex: Utahraptor writes, "Dear Professor Science: all electrons share the same properties, but we don't know any reason why this should be so. Could... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1834 |
| three hidden comic extras enter the website's html markup - one of them leaves (it up to you to find ... | T-Rex: Two men enter the ring - one man leaves!
/ God: THAT'S A LITTLE SEXIST DUDE
/ T-Rex: And THAT is fixed easily enough! / T-Rex: Two dinosaurs of any gender enter the ring - one dinosaur of any gender leaves! / Dromiceiomimus: Now you're excluding non-dinosaur sentient life! Isn't your friend Mr.... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1835 |
| apropos of nothing, will someone please start an antarctic comics convention because i am 1000% motivated ... | T-Rex: Who wants to party? Because THIS GUY is totally ready to party. / T-Rex: I am this guy, in case that wasn't clear! / Dromiceiomimus: Well, I'd love to party with you, T-Rex, but I'm actually on my way to work.
/ T-Rex: Well, I'd love to party with YOU, Dromiceiomimus, but you're making that... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1836 |
| i kinda admire the naming strategy Daguerro used with his daguerrotype. From now on, these are not Dinosaur ... | T-Rex: Oh crap, you wanted to know about the year 1837? Quick, everyone: say everything we've memorized about 1837! / T-Rex: This is the emergency we've trained for!! / Dromiceiomimus: In 1837, Alexandrina Victoria turned into Queen Victoria and announced she was moving to Buckingham Palace!
/ T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1837 |
| i've been saying "new autobiography title" after my friends say something particularly great, which is ... | T-Rex: So the average adult is supposed to think about sex like, a billion times a day, right? Sometimes more? / T-Rex: ...Especially if they're bored? / T-Rex: Well I'm going to be ABOVE-average, Dromiceiomimus, and I don't mean I'm going to think about sex two billion times per day! Instead, I'm... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1838 |
| i've been saying "new autobiography title" after my friends say something particularly great, which is ... | T-Rex: So the average adult is supposed to think about sex like, a billion times a day, right? Sometimes more? / T-Rex: ...Especially if they're bored? / T-Rex: Well I'm going to be ABOVE-average, Dromiceiomimus, and I don't mean I'm going to think about sex two billion times per day! Instead, I'm... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1838 |
| pro tip: sometimes it's also NOT very fun to watch someone else play video games for a while, maybe you ... | T-Rex: I hope you have all saved up your $59.95 because my new video game is going to be amazing! And it will cost $59.95. Now you have all the facts you'll need to enjoy... / T-Rex: Oh Crap, Who'S Gonna Shoot These Bad Guys?? / T-Rex: In OCWSGSTBG??, there are some bad guys and we need to shoot them,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1839 |
| T-REX WE ARE BROS WE ARE TOTAL BROS I AM YOUR DEI-BRO | Narrator: LIFE HACKS FOR MEN
/ T-Rex: Men! Are you looking to "hack" your life? Too bad that doesn't make any sense!!
/ T-Rex: I do however have some tips for m- / Narrator: TIPS FOR MEN
/ T-Rex: -en!
/ T-Rex: Tips for men, yeah! / T-Rex: The first tip is this: never ever ask if a woman is pregnant, because... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1840 |
| without further adieu here is today's comic; take it slowly so as to avoid post-dramatic stress disor... | T-Rex: So as I was saying, for all intensive purposes, the REAL bro here is ?
/ GOD: I THINK YOU MEAN FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES
/ T-Rex: Hello? Purposes just got intense!! / GOD: IT'S STILL THE WRONG WORD
/ T-Rex: Far me it for me to correct GOD, but ? / GOD: FAR BE IT FROM ME
/ T-Rex: Right. But it's... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1841 |
| this comic started life as one where t-rex was excited that he could change his name was "david lorean" ... | T-Rex: Everyone! Check this out and I hope you haven't left your balls on the floor because after this you might trip on them. Are you ready? ARE YOU READY TO POSSIBLY TRIP SOME BALLS?? / T-Rex: ?This sentence is a lie!? / T-Rex: Get it? If the sentence is true, then it's lying, which makes the sentence... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1842 |
| i almost wrote utahraptor's line as "for all intensive purposes", WEDNESDAY COMIC HAS RUINED ME FOREVER ... | T-Rex: AS WE ALL KNOW, once light reaches our eyes, it can take upwards of 50 milliseconds before the chemical process of vision has completed and the information is in a usable form in our brain. 50 milliseconds, you guys! That's like... / T-Rex: FOREVER / T-Rex: It seems to me there's a lot of room... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1843 |
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