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| The most confusing part of this, Utahraptor, is why our culture is so big into horses. We're way too ... | T-Rex: "Don't change horses in mid-stream"? Ladies and gentlemen: it's the future. We've sent ROBOT SPACESHIPS to MARS. I hate to be the one to say this, but - / T-Rex: Why are we still talking about horses? / T-Rex: Let's fix our adages! Let's update our language! Let's replace "Don't change horses... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1874 |
| is it non-canon because the exhibit ACTUALLY closes in two hours | T-Rex: It turns out horses aren't the only inspiration English uses for its idioms. We also use...doors? / T-Rex: OPPORTUNITY knocks on doors, you guys! / T-Rex: And when Opportunity closes a door, it also opens another. Sometimes, SOMETIMES, it opens a window.
/ Dromiceiomimus: These could be classified... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1875 |
| as payment for this comic you now all owe me a coke | T-Rex: You know what I miss? / T-Rex: I miss the days when you could do a favour for an animal, and it would repay you with a story! / Narrator: I THINK YOU MEAN YOU MISS THE FICTIONAL STORIES WHERE THAT HAPPENS
/ T-Rex: Whatever! I love the idea of a world where good stories have such value, such... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1876 |
| later: t-rex's lunch burns because he forgot it and he's all, MAN, SCREW US | T-Rex: The royal "we" is used by monarches, popes, and also by dinosaurs named T-Rex. THAT IS ME, BY THE WAY. / T-Rex: Or should I say... that is US?? / T-Rex: We thing this is great, Dromiceiomimus! All our opinions sound much more important, now that they come from a grammatical PLURALITY. It's just... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1877 |
| really not sure of the way to write "I'm sorry"s, but that's what I've landed on and I'm sticking with ... | T-Rex: Aw geez. Okay.
/ T-Rex: The sender of this card is REALLY SORRY. / Narrator: I HEARD YOU HAVING SEX LAST NIGHT
/ Narrator: a web card / T-Rex: The sender of this card wants you to know they couldn't help listening in. The sound was, like - everywhere. And the sender of this card is still thinking... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1878 |
| um but i wanted kittens | Narrator: THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
/ T-Rex: We detect evidence of alien life tomorrow: a signal from a distant solar system. It starts out simple: numbers, counting, that sort of thing! / T-Rex: And then it starts to get more advanced, encoding mathematics! / T-Rex: And then: instructions for decoding... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1879 |
| based on my real-life pal OLIVER; i got OPINIONS on who he spends QUALITY TIME with | T-Rex: A friend of mine has started dating a new woman! A new woman named...DROMICEIOMIMUS?? / T-Rex: And she's not even the REAL Dromiceiomimus! / T-Rex: This friend has failed to consider that I, like all REASONABLE individuals, have only enough room in my heart and mind for ONE friend of the same... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1880 |
| my notes for this comic read "dromiceiomimus spends the night and utahraptor asks for a star wars ana... | Narrator: THE NEXT MORNING:
/ T-rex: Holy craps my house cold. My house so cold that I forgot to say "is" in both those sentences. That cold!! / God: HAVE YOU PAID YOUR HEATING BILLS T-REX
/ T-rex: Yes!
/ T-rex: Probably!! / T-rex: I don't get it. Hot air comes out of the heating vents but the place... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1881 |
| my notes for this comic read "dromiceiomimus spends the night and utahraptor asks for a star wars ana... | Narrator: THE NEXT MORNING:
/ T-rex: Holy craps my house cold. My house so cold that I forgot to say "is" in both those sentences. That cold!! / God: HAVE YOU PAID YOUR HEATING BILLS T-REX
/ T-rex: Yes!
/ T-rex: Probably!! / T-rex: I don't get it. Hot air comes out of the heating vents but the place... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1881 |
| The adventures of Ginger Peanut, Universe Destroyer | God: T-REX YOUR NEW NICKNAME IS GINGER PEANUT
/ T-Rex: That's not an adult's nickname! That's what you call a little kid who investigates mysteries, only she's really just running around with a toy magnifying glass! / God: HAH HAH THAT'S ADORABLE
/ T-Rex: Okay, so give me a better one! / God: T-REX THERE... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1882 |
| anyway! who wants a massive hug?? | T-Rex: Only chums wait for a nickname to coalesce around them naturally! As a non-chumpified guy, I'm CHOOSING my new nickname. / T-Rex: And I choose... "The Singularity"!! / Dromiceiomimus: Isn't the singularity when we invent superintelligent machines that can make even more superintelligent machines,... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1883 |
| based on true events? nope, i'm the best grandson there is and any non-grandmas who tell you otherwise ... | T-Rex: It's my grandmother's birthday today! I'M going to call her to wish her happy birthday! I'm doing this because they don't give those "#1 Grandson" mugs to just anybody. / Narrator: THE NEXT DAY:
/ T-Rex: Frig, I forgot to call!
/ T-Rex: FFFFRRRIIII- / T-Rex: -IIIIG. Okay, I will call my Grandmother... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1884 |
| WE CAN EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN ONLY ONCE PER UNIVERSE IF THAT / I JUST WISH IT WERE A BETTER GAME | T-Rex: So I've been working on a little project: a secret internet diary! And today it's finished! / T-Rex: Today I have fully documented ONE WEEK of my life! / T-Rex: Granted, it's not THAT long a period but -
/ God: HOLD ON A SECOND T-REX THIS IS CRAZY
/ God: THIS IS INCREDIBLE
/ T-Rex The nap I described... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1885 |
| there's a parallel universe in which every person you've ever even considered asking out has come up ... | T-Rex: Let's assume the quantum mechanics many-worlds hypothesis is true, and for every decision I make, there's parallel universes where I'm making the decision differently, with every possible outcome being realized! / T-Rex: That's a lot of T-Rexes kicking around, cats and kittens! / T-Rex: But... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1886 |
| "Sure! But you probably find something in me that's worthwhile! Either that or you think I'm super ... | T-Rex: I am a dude who adapts himself to the people around him. If I'm with party dudes, I am more likely to want to party! / T-Rex: There's no shame in this, on account of how PARTYING IS AWESOME?? / T-Rex: And when a party dude hangs out with his library friends, he quiets down and finds a book to... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1887 |
| tantalus later stole a SOLID GOLD DOG from the gods. tantalus: what is his DEAL? | Narrator: THE STORY OF TANTALUS
/ T-Rex: So Tantalus was a Greek dude who threw a dinner party for the gods! And he thought to himself, "I need to make sure this party goes off without a hitch. I'm going to serve the PERFECT MEAL" / T-Rex: Accordingly, he kills his son, chops him up, and makes him into... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1888 |
| a thank you at this point would be unexpected and startling! according to my research, you guys domesticated ... | T-Rex: The population of the world in 400 BC is estimated to be 7 million people! 7 million dudes! / T-Rex: Dudes! That's not that many dudes! / T-Rex: For comparison, New York City is the entire population of 4000 BC all hanging out together. Last year, apple talked everyone from 4000 BC into buying... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1889 |
| it's the thing i say after discovering i wasted another half-hour on reddit | T-Rex: A medical doctor is a pretty prestigious job to have! The catch is, it takes years of work to become a doctor. Like, literal YEARS. / T-Rex: I do not have time for literal years! / T-Rex: On the flipside, digging a ditch is pretty easy, but nobody's THAT impressed when you tell them you can... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1890 |
| to be fair, some of the snowplows here in reality ARE pretty stupid | T-Rex: There's a big snowstorm coming tonight. This is so great! By tomorrow morning, everything will be buried under snow, and society will have finally reached its snowmageddon. / T-Rex: It's time to start new civilizations in our living rooms, you guys! / T-Rex: We'll abandon the laws of man as... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1891 |
| This is what I've been waiting for, you guys! | T-Rex: Rain is falling tonight! THE RAIN WILL WASH AWAY OUR CIVILIZATION AND WE CAN START FRESH. YES. / T-Rex: This is what I've been waiting for, you guys! / Dromiceiomimus: T-Rex, we're only getting a centimeter of rain, easily within the abilities of our civilization to withstand. Plus, you talked... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1892 |
| T-REX WHEN YOU SAY "I LIKE GAMES THAT ARE FUN" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN BECAUSE IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE IT MEANS ... | Devil: GREETING T-REX IT IS I THE DEVIL - I HAVE A QUERY TO PUT TO YOU AND IT GOES THUSLY - DO YOU THINK IT'S REASONABLE FOR A COMPANY TO RELEASE A REMAKE OF A VIDEO GAME
/ T-Rex: Sure! / Devil: OH SO YOU DON;T BELIEVE GAMES SHOULD STRIVE FOR INNOVATION
/ T-Rex: They should do that too! / Devil: AND... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1893 |
| okay so i decided to do medusa after all! | Narrator: THE MYTH OF MEDUSA
/ T-Rex: Medusa was a lady who was super sexy! But then she sexed up Poseidon (God of the Sea!) in Athena's house and Athena go so CHEEZED that she turned Medusa's hair into snakes! / T-Rex: And THEN she made Medusa's face so crazy that anyone who saw it would turn to stone! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1894 |
| truth and beauty ebola | T-Rex: Alright guys, I'll go right out and say it. We could all use a little SEXUAL TENSION al up ons! / T-Rex: "All up ons" is slang that means "around here or whatever"!, just FYI! / T-Rex: And "just FYI" is slang for "just Friggin' Yell It", which means "please excuse my minced oath, but listen... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1895 |
| alternate ending: several generations ago in a parallel universe's alternate timeline, t-rex gets told ... | T-Rex: So I'm walking down the street with Utahraptor and there's this guy walking in the opposite direction, coming towards me. / T-Rex: We lock eyes! / T-Rex: And neither of us looks away, and for some reason I think, "What's this guy's deal? Is he... A JERK?" and clearly the other guy's thinking... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1896 |
| "it's leftover racism from when they were born in history and all the racisms were in" | T-Rex: You know in those stories where there's this immortal guy and they talk about how bored they are and how boring life is after 5000 years or whatever? I am going to call something. / T-Rex: I am going to call SHENANIGANS. / T-Rex: You know who writes those stories? MORTALS. Folks using some of... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1897 |
| eat only flavoured jellybeans for a week; think hard about the future you want | Narrator: ASK PROFESSOR SCIENCE
/ T-Rex: Our first letter comes from "Chuggy G", who writes -
/ T-Rex: Hey, it's Chuggy G!! / T-Rex: We used to date! / T-Rex: Anyway, Chuggy G says "Dear Professor Science: why can't we get all our meals in pill form?". One time Chuggy G and I went to a pond to feed the... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1898 |
| past futurists, why'd you have to be so darned optimistic | T-Rex: When movies were invented, people were super-excited! For the first time, we could capture life, in real time, as it was happening. / T-Rex: This was a super big deal! / T-Rex: Even if the films were black and white, folks could see the potential. Essays were written extolling how movies with... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1899 |
| looking around the room while chewing is my favourite thing for folks in comics to do while chewing | T-Rex: Spider-Man's Nasty Cake, a tale of betrayal and self-discovery, by award-winning author and thoughtsmith, T-Rex! / T-Rex: Wait, "thoughtsmith" has maxed-out pretentious! / T-Rex: Okay, it's by T-Rex, "author of award-eligible wordsmithery".
/ Dromiceiomimus: That sounds like it's your first time... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1900 |
| superhero culinary is a genre i just made up but MORE IMPORTANTLY, a genre i am extremely extremely excited ... | T-Rex: Spider-Man was still eating nasty cake. "I am a character owned by another corporation, and you are not a valid licensee" he spat out, along with the cake, which he was already spitting out. It was gross and rude! / T-Rex: Spider-Man was being gross and rude! / T-Rex: Then Spider-Man "webbed"... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1901 |
| there's actually tons of competing companies and predictions, utahraptor, so we're going to have to work ... | T-Rex: I joke about trends forecasting, but it's actually super interesting! There are folks whose ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL LIVES are spent determining what stupid dress colours will be future popular. Okay, that didn't sound that interesting; I can do better. / T-Rex: They're professional futurists, for... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1902 |
| feel free to say that last line during your day today; time travelers around you from the past will trip ... | T-Rex: Who's been going around websites saying "You'll engage readers when you end articles with a question"? Attention, websites that do this: I am going to say this as a friend, as a sassy friend who'll pull you aside and give you some REAL TALK. / T-Rex: Honey! You look pathetic and desperate! / T-Rex:... http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1903 |
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