You're browsing the archives of BoxJam's Doodle.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are with the kids]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Tomorrow, kids, I thought we'd go to the beach!
/ Little BoxJam/BoxJamina: YAY! / BoxJam: YAY!
/ Ms. BoxJam: You can't go...you're an adult with a job...you have to work tomorrow. / BoxJam: Awww...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Let's make him sweep the ashes and cinders out of the fireplace, too, kids...
/ Little BoxJam/BoxJamina: YAY! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010716.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam are setting up a rocket]] / [[they sit back with the control]] / [[they set the rocket going and it flies off into the air]] / [[a jet comes straight down to their right]] / [[the jet crashes and burns]]
/ BoxJam: Let's not tell your mom about this, O.K?
/ [[Little BoxJam nods]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010717.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Once there was an evil, evil man named Charles Dickens. / Deep in his underground lair, he spent his days subverting numbers. / Soon, all math was impenetrable! / Finally, a giant yak, from the same yak family your mother grew up with-you remember your mom lived with a yak family for a while?-showed him the statue of liberty, and the spell was broken. / [[BoxJam is walking away from Little BoxJam's bed, whose head is spinning]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Your bedtime story privileges are hereby REVOKED. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010718.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Caption: Welcome to the Soap on a Rope / BoxJam's Doodle Crossover! / BoxJam (on phone): Hey Bob...you wanna do a crossover?
/ Bob (through phone): You know, not really... / Caption: This concludes the Soap on a Rope / BoxJam's Doodle Crossover! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010719.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Mallethead: Tell me the story again of how you have no answering machine.
/ BoxJam: Well, when we got married, my wife wanted an answering machine. I hate them. So I said, "Honey, why would I ever care about messages anymore? We live together; I don't care about messages that aren't from you, and none of them will be from you anymore!" and she bought that bill of goods, so we don't have an answering machine. /
/ Mallethead: God I love that story.
/ BoxJam: Me too, Mallet, me too. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010720.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{a guest comic}}
/ Ms. BoxJam: Tell me, now, does this dress make me look fat?
/ BoxJam: Uh, oh. / BoxJam: Gotta say something, but if I say the wrong thing, she'll get angry. Why does she have to put me in these situations?! Ahh! Now, don't panic, just say something nice, and she'll stop looking at you like that. Oh, good God, she wants an answer, ok, here goes... / BoxJam: No, your face does.
/ BoxJam (thinking): Oh for the love of God. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010723.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{A}}
/ [[BoxJam is rolling a snow ball]]
/ [[rolling]]
/ [[gettng annoyed]]
/ [[the snow ball collapses and BoxJam looks furious]]
/ [[looks upset still]] / {{B}}
/ [[BoxJam is stacking snow balls]]
/ [[top snow ball falls off the bottom one and squidges]] / {{C}}
/ [[BoxJam finally has 3 snow balls stacked and is putting a fourth on the side of hte middle one]]
/ [[it falls off and squidges, much to BoxJam's chagrin]] / {{this has been a midsummer reminder
/ from BoxJam: snowmen are just lies
/ stacked upon lies stacked upon lies.
/ You can't build them, unless you count
/ lame s ticks sticking out of a lame pile
/ of snow.
/ It's not your fault.
/ Don't believe the lies again this year.
/ {{Seriously, has anybody ever made a good snowman? The kind you see in cartoons and stuff?}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010724.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: So the doctor wants to see her.
/ BoxJam: Mmm...
/ Ms. BoxJam: You never listen to me!
/ BoxJam: What? / Ms. BoxJam: [[recounts the previous panel]]
/ BoxJam: That's not the way it happened at all! It was more like this:
/ BoxJam: [[recounts his version in the next panel]] / Ms. BoxJam: So the doctor wants to see her.
/ BoxJam: Mmm...
/ Ms. BoxJam: You never listen to me!
/ BoxJam: What? / Ms. BoxJam: That's exactly what I just said!!
/ BoxJam: Oh. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010725.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand talking]]
/ BoxJam: My biggest childhood crush was Karen Hecker.
/ Mrs. BoxJam: How cute. / [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand talking]]
/ BoxJam: I had code words for her, but no one to talk about her to.
/ Mrs. BoxJam: That still kind of cute...I guess... / [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand talking]]
/ BoxJam: You say that as though I'm going to follow up with something pathetic...
/ Mrs. BoxJam: You usually do. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010726.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is waiting at the lights in his car behind a guy who is smoking]] / [[the smoker flicks his cigarette out and BoxJam looks upset]] / [[BoxJam imagines picking up a HUGE flamethrower]] / [[BoxJam imagines turning it on and crispafying the smoker]] / [[BoxJam imagines a robot arm coming out of the flamethrower and flicking the charred top of the once-smoker]] / [[BoxJam sighs, still sitting at the lights behind the smoker]]
/ <<*SIGH*>> http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010727.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: Do you remember the first thing you thought of when you met Little BoxJam the first time? / BoxJam: [[thinking]] Well, well, well... you're the guy who's going to have to plan my funeral... / BoxJam: Um... Not really... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010730.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Here we are, gang - A ridiculously remote vacation hut just built and never before inhabited... / [[BoxJam gets the luggage out of the boat.]] / [[BoxJam arrives at the door of the hut with luggage, only to meet Ms. BoxJam holding out a bag of garbage.]] / BoxJam: If mystery is truly what makes a woman most attractive, then mee-oww.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Meow indeed, baby. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010731.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: Isn't it great to get away from our regular lives?
/ BoxJam: Sure... / Ms. BoxJam: Nothing like lying on a beach to clear your head, is there? / [[Ms. BoxJam lies back on her beach towel. BoxJam stays sitting up.]] / BoxJam (thinking): When there's nothing to do, I sure itch a lot. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010801.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: I'm back from the outlet mall!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Ooh-whaddya get? / BoxJam (he holds out a bunch of outlets): Well, DUHH.... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010802.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: New hair bow?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Yeah. / BoxJam: Nice.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Thanks. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010803.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[From behind a fence]]
/ Voice 1: Whatcha doin'? / [[Other side of fence. BoxJam is sitting and painting the fence]]
/ BoxJam: Something very important. If you wanted to help, you'd have to give, me some marbles, or a dead rat on a string or something. / [[Pause]] / Little BoxJam: Nice try, Bup.
/ BoxJam (thinking): Damn. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010806.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walking]] / [[BoxJam stops in front of a firey crack in the ground with voices emanating from it]]
/ Voices: AAUUUHHH
/ Voices:AAAAIIEEE... / BoxJam: Someone should mark off these open fissures into hell...
/ Voices:OOOOHH...
/ Voices:MOOAANNN... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010807.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walking along]] / [[He comes upon an open fissure bubbling with lava.]]
/ Sign: Caution: Opening to HELL Do not feed the Damned
/ BoxJam: That's much better! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010808.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam finds a package on the front stoop]] / [[Inside, he's opening the package]] / [[Ms. BoxJam walks by]]
/ BoxJam (looking into package): Well I'll be...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Hmm...? / [[BoxJam holds up an Emmy]]
/ BoxJam: Susan Lucci sent me an Emmy... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010809.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Whatsa matter, guy?
/ Little BoxJam: Ah, nothin'... / BoxJam: No, c'mon... you can tell me...
/ Little BoxJam: The other kids won't let me play dodge ball... / BoxJam: That's not very nice, is it? I'm sorry to tell you, you get that from me. Not athletic at all. Couldn't catch, couldn't throw, looked like a doofus trying to dodge.
/ Little BoxJam: They won't let me play because nobody can get me out, and I always win. / [[Pause]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010810.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: ... But I think that we'd want to move far south -- maybe Southern California -- before looting would stop working as a lifestyle. Winters would be a lot more manageable.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Moving in an otherwise dead world is risky, though -- the Rockies, vast desert in Nevada ... / BoxJam: Good point. We'll drive two trucks loaded with supplies, in case one breaks down.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Gas engine trucks. Finding diesel along the way will be just that much more of a headache. / BoxJam: U-Haul or Ryder, then. Should be easy enough to acquire.
/ Ms. BoxJam: It might be better in some remote place like Hawaii. A nuclear-powered sub wouldn't run out of fuel ... / BoxJam: Nuclear sub!? C'mon, let's be realistic ...
/ Ms. BoxJam: OK, sorry. I'll try to stay more grounded when discussing your "What If The Simpsons Halloween Episode Where A Neutron Bomb Destroys Everyone But Your Family" came true ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010813.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: A riddle: Why did the painting have to go to jail? / [[A guard with a gun escorts a handcuffed painting with arms and legs into a jail]] / BoxJam (smiling): It was convicted of murder in the second degree! / {{Today's joke by Little Boxjam}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010814.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is holding a piece of paper]]
/ BoxJam: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010815.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam rubs a trash can.]]
/ Genie: Who has released me from my prison in this trash can? / [[Genie appears]]
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010816.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Look, trash can genie, I want my three wishes ...
/ Genie: OK, but I should warn you that genies, while granting wishes literally, throw in some ironic upshot that make the whole thing not worth it. And call me Sam. / BoxJam: OK, Sam, you do that on my first two wishes and my third wish will be that I never rescued you.
/ Genie/Sam: Man, that didn't even phase you! When did people get so hip to ironic twists? / BoxJam: We kind of O.D.'d on "Twilight Zone."
/ Genie/Sam: What's "Twilight Zone"?
/ BoxJam: How long were you in the trash can? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010817.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to a genie emanating from a trash can]]
/ BoxJam: Wish one: I want to go for one day without taking out the trash.
/ Sammy the Trash Can Genie: Done! Don't take out the trash for the next twenty-four hours... / BoxJam: Look, Sammy, I warned you about pulling any fast ones with these wishes...
/ Sammy the Trash Can Genie: What!? Just don't take out the trash! It's that easy! / BoxJam: But I have to take out the trash right now! This is your last chance, Genie, or you're going back where you came from!
/ Sammy the Trash Can Genie: But it's not me! It's you! Just don't take out the trash! It'll be fine! / BoxJam: That's it! I wish I'd never rescued you from the can!
/ Sammy the Trash Can Genie: But it's not meeee!!...
/ [[Sammy is sucked back into captivity in the trash can]] / BoxJam [[taking out the trash]]: #%^ Ironic genie... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010820.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam stands with a shopping cart in front of several checkout aisles, all with an orange guy already standing in them.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010821.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Why did they have to go by train!? Why couldn't they stick to back roads, travelling by night?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well, they needed to get out of the country as fast as possible... / BoxJam: Yeah, but it was SO risky! Documents checked at EVERY station...
/ Ms. BoxJam: You need to stop getting so wrapped up in movies... "The Great Escape" is never going to be a context you'll find yourself in... / BoxJam: It still hurts... I haven't been this frustrated since "Night of the Living Dead."
/ Ms. BoxJam: N.O.T.L.D. I can see. The thing's basically an instructional video for radiation zombie attacks... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010822.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is at the computer]] / Web Page Text: Virtual poetry slam
/ Rap some verse! Lay it on us! / BoxJam: Cool! / BoxJam: If I had my youth back
/ BoxJam: I would spend many more days
/ BoxJam: with the girl whose joy and sadness then
/ BoxJam: still touch me now.
/ BoxJam: And I'd spend many more days
/ BoxJam: like the one with Kroger beer
/ BoxJam: and not doing much of anything,
/ BoxJam: because 13,313 in, it's one of
/ BoxJam: my fondest to recall. / BoxJam: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010823.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Little BoxJam runs out of cereal.]]
/ <<*Nothing*>> / [[Little BoxJam waits at a bus stop in the rain.]] / [[Little BoxJam gets back an error-filled paper.]] / [[BoxJamina rips up a picture of Little BoxJam.]]
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010824.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 >>