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BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: If I had to, I'd fight to the death for you. And I might not win, but at least you'd know that a good man died for you. / Ms. BoxJam: What good would that do me? / <> / BoxJam: Suddenly I'm reminded of the time I wrote a song for you, and you hated it. / Ms. BoxJam: Oh God - you're not...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics {{This comic appeared on Shakespeare's recognized birthday, April 23. It was part of an organized webcomic event built around Shakespeare's birthday. I attempted iambic pentameter.}} / [[BoxJam and Mallethead stand at the foot of a hill, on top of which is a castle (with a chimney). They're both in armor,...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is watching TV]] / TV: Dear Tide, I never through I'd find myself writing to you, but here I am. / TV: I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself. I'm 24, blonde and svelte. My best friend is a 23 year old, raven haired cutie. It all began about a month ago when she was helping me with some...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Hey! A newspaper! / BoxJam: When did they start doing that? It's kind of close to that guy-I wonder if I can get it without invading "his space"? Probably. / BoxJam: Maybe not, though. But then, I'd just take one section, so I think that offsets the "personal space" thing. Or maybe two sections......
BoxJam's Doodle Comics {{another doodle that came from a dream}} / [[BoxJam and family, in their boat, come to a stop behind a large boat on which a wedding is taking place]] / BoxJam: What's this? / Ms. BoxJam It's the newest thing - getting married in the street! / BoxJam: What!? / Ms. BoxJam: Lots of times people do it at...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: ...but it would seem like, if their grandpa's ghost is always around, his soul must be restless and tortured! / Mrs. BoxJam: Stop vexing precunious. / BoxJam: ... / Mrs. BoxJam: What part of "stop vexing precunious" don't you understand!?
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks past a graveyard. Several ghosts half-rise from graves]] / Ghost: ~HEY BOX-JERK! / Ghost: WHERE'S YOU GET THAT MUG? WANNA BORROW A DEATH MASK? / Ghost: I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THAT MUUMUU! / BoxJam: THE DEAD MOCK ME...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Little BoxJam stands in front of a sea of kids' heads. He holds up a picture of BoxJam]] / Little BoxJam: For Show n' Tell I brought one of my dad's drawings - he does a comic strip on the internet... / [[Little BoxJam looks at the picture]] / <> / Little BoxJam: It's pretty dumb...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Waitaminnit...if it's a cook book, they're probably planning on EATING PEOPLE! The title means how to present people for eating!
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: So I was in the back, with all those cars, and suddenly I couldn't remember why we rent out parking spaces. / Ms. BoxJam: For money, obviously. / BoxJam: Yeah, but I don't think I know those people! Why do they want to park in our back yard? / Ms. BoxJam: Let me suggest something, if I may. / [[They...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam's boat is sputtering]] / BoxJam: Feh. / <<*SPUT* *SPUT* *COUGH* *DIE*>> / [[BoxJam leaves the boat docked and checks his pockets]] / <<*emptiness* *emptiness here, too*>> / [[A guy with a goatee and a beret walks past]] / BoxJam: Excuse me - I've run out of gas and forgot my wallet...could you...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Store Employee: Would you like a dressing room, ma'am? / Ms. BoxJam: Yes, thanks... / Store Employee: She'll probably be a while with these, sir, if you'd like to look around... / Ms. BoxJam: Yes, dear - take a walk around the mall... / BoxJam: No, that's OK. I'll stay with you. / Ms. BoxJam: Really -...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Sometimes I wonder why lemmings rush off cliffs and kill themselves - is there some evolutionary advantage? / Ms. BoxJam: They don't doofus! It's an urban myth! *snicker* / :::silence and staring::: / BoxJam: Well, I didn't know that... / Ms. BoxJam: Well, that's why you're an object of rid...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Is time really a continuum, or is that an illusion? / Ms. BoxJam: An illusion? What sould be non-continuumy about it? / BoxJam: Well, perhaps points in time get randomly picked, replayed, fast-forwarded, rewound... / Ms. BoxJam: No. That's ridiculous. / BoxJam: Is time really a continuum, or...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are talking]] / BoxJam: So the guy got off, because he claimed his actions were because he ate Twinkies! / Ms. BoxJam: No, it didn't happen like that at all. No one got off because of Twinkies. / BoxJam: Yes he did. I read it on the internet! / Ms. BoxJam: http://www.snopes.com/spoons/fracture/twinkie.htm / BoxJam:...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Hi! BoxJam here. I wanted to tell you all that I've been working on a new character! Check this out: bugs make him jumpy! / [[A bug flies in front of a BoxJammy-looking guy in a bowtie]] / Guy: GAH! / BoxJam: Um... that's pretty much all I have so far...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: What do you want from me!? / Ms. BoxJam: Perfection. / [[Beat]] / BoxJam: What'll you settle for from me? / Ms. BoxJam: Just take out the trash.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is reading to Little BoxJam, who's in bed]] / BoxJam (reading): "What do you see when you look at the clouds?" asked Dinky. "I see a froggy," said Farky. / BoxJam: (Eugh.) "I see a bunny." "I see the most hackneyed, stale excuse for 'whimsy' I've ever seen." / BoxJam: "I see a Type-A personality,...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Time and space are as simple as they appear. / BoxJam: There's no way to reach across to different points in the fabric. / [[The Ms. BoxJam in the second frame whaps the BoxJam in the third frame]] / BoxJam: OW! / Ms. BoxJam: It was for your own good.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam appear vaudevillian, with porkpie hats and spats]] / BoxJam: Boy those muumuu designers have some crazy names! / Ms. BoxJam: I'll say! When I'm at the store I try Hooz on first! / [[The jumpy-bug-guy runs in between them, panicked, with a bug following]] / Jumpy Bug Guy: WAHH! MOTH! / Ms....
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam at a computer]] / BoxJam: *GASP* Somebody posted "fanfic" on my message board! / BoxJam (reading): "One day BoxJam and everyboyd (sic) got up and then they died. The end." / [[Beat]] / BoxJam: I got fanfic!
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is on a horse, holding a lariat]] / BoxJam: Hyaah! Hyaah! Giddap! / [[He's looking down]] / Come on, dogies! No stragglers! Hyaah! Hyaah! / [[BoxJam looks at us]] / BoxJam: Ant farming is hard work!
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Thanks for coming to help out on the ant farm, Mallet. I'm going to need all the help I can get on the big drive coming up. / Mallethead: SURE THING. COULD USE THE WORK. / BoxJam: First, though, I need to see how you handle the herd. Let's see you rope up that heifer. / Mallethead: AYUP... / [[Mallethead...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Mallethead and BoxJam ride on horseback. Inset reads "The Big Ant Drive"]] / BoxJam: S'then Letter-man took an 'I' from his varsity sweater, turning "lesson" into "lesion." / [[Inset reads "Suddenly!" BoxJam's horse has reared up] / Mallethead: THAT ANT'S GONE MAD! / BoxJam: He's scaring' my horse! / [[Inset...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Mallethead, on horseback, arrive at a town]] / Sign: Now Entering Dry Gulch -World's Largest Livestock Exchange - Wanna be a member? / [[BoxJam hitches his horse to a post next to an orange horse]] / BoxJam: Mallethead's gonna watch the herd while I go in to negotiate a price...you wait here,...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Mallethead and BoxJam on horseback]] / Mallethead: HOW'D WE DO? / BoxJam: We got 3¢ a head... / Mallethead: Z'AT GOOD? / BoxJam: That's a GREAT price for ants... / <> / Mallethead: MOST PEOPLE BRING MORE THAN 35 AT A TIME? / BoxJam: You know, I'm starting to think maybe...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam takes a drink.]] / Ms. BoxJam: I'm not trying to start an argument, but you need to be better at everything. / <<*SIIIPPP*>> / [[BoxJam walks off]] / [[Ms. BoxJam looks offscreen toward a noise.]] / <> / [[BoxJam reenters.]]Ms. BoxJam: Thank you for going outside to do a "spit take." / BoxJam:...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Caveman BoxJam returns to the cave after a hard day of hunting and gathering.]] / [[The BoxJam family sits around the fire eating something. 'Mina has a leopard-spotted blanket. The females in the family have bones in place of hairbows.]] / [[The family "spits" paint over their hands against a wall...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[A cliff]] / [[BoxJam hurtling over the cliff.]] / BoxJam: WAAAAAAAAA / [[BoxJam plummeting]] / BoxJam (offscreen): AAAAA / [[A cliff]] / [[BoxJam smushed at the bottom of the cliff, Ms. BoxJam standing over him]] / Ms. BoxJam: Well, I timed it at 2.3 seconds, which works out to 9.6 m/s²...now, most...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Ms. BoxJam walks up to BoxJam, who is fishing.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Hey, did some pitcher almost have a perfect game the other day, broken up by a bunt? / BoxJam: Well, yeah...Curt Schilling. But the thing is, it was a two-run game, and the hit was in the seventh inning... / BoxJam: People are talking like...
 

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