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BoxJam's Doodle Comics Sign: Cwaint Countree Coroner Store / BoxJam: I don't know what's going on - I was sure a country store next to the highway would do well...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Hi Honey - I'm home! / BoxJam and Ms. Boxjam: Mmm... / BoxJam: Your boobs feel good... / [[Ms. BoxJam's eyes bug out.]] / BoxJam: Hugs. Your hugs feel good.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam stands out in front of the house.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Is there a reason you stopped, and waited for the trash to come to you? / BoxJam: I was just thinking how all this going away is not a question of if, but when... / [[Pause.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Yes, we are but moments of time... / BoxJam: No,...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam flies through the air, with groups of people and a house in the distance.]] / BoxJam: Dad! Mom! My big brother! Various relatives and friends! / BoxJam: Ms. BoxJam! Kids! / [[BoxJam flies on, leaving them far in the distance.]] / [[BoxJam flies or hovers, with nothing else in sight.]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Heh... I know people say Schulz wasn't good at the end, but he still had some refreshing, odd, quietly funny ideas - like this: Snoopy wonders if Jesus had a dog... / Ms. BoxJam: Of course not... Leviticus - I think chapter XI, expressly states that animals that walk on their paws are unclean......
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam face each other.]] / BoxJam: The Washington Nationals still don't have an owner, and now someone's challenging baseball's right to the name! / Mrs. BoxJam: You look despondent. / BoxJam: I do despond.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: I have to go out to... ah... visit and console Thelma Lou... / Ms. BoxJam: You seem furtive... / BoxJam: I'm not furting! / [[Ms. BoxJam rolls her eyes.]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Remember that Johnny Cash song where he made fun of bigots' attempts to bring down the phone company by "ripping them off" a dime at a time? They were protesting the phone company hiring blacks... / Ms. BoxJam: Oh yeah, that was a good song... / BoxJam (singing): "Mr. K-K-K, you're A-O-K, cheatin'...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Ms. BoxJam: You've let a bag of trash sit in the kitchen two days! / [[BoxJam hands her a stack of papers]] / Ms. BoxJam: BoxJam Ltd. articles of incorporation? / [[Ms. BoxJam examines the papers]] / BoxJam: You can only indemnify the corporation, and not me personally... / Ms. BoxJam: Was it really...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics TV: Good God, it's just like earth, except the chickens rule over men! / Ms. BoxJam: It's late! Turn that down! / TV: Dr. Avaius, this one talks! / TV: You won't like what you find... / Ms. BoxJam: Not that soft... / TV: A KFC!? You did it! You went ahead and did it! / [[empty thought-balloon appears...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Minister: Our reading this week comes from Leviticus, chapter 13: "The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, 'When a man has on the skin of his body a swelling or an eruption or a spot, and it turns into a leprous disease on the skin of his body, then he shall be brought to Aaron the priest or one of his sons...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: I'm in a dead-end job, the comic strip will never pay the bills, and I'm starting to think my backup plan of a major league baseball career isn't going to pan out either...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and the Orange Guy stand at the waiting spot]] / [[The normal 'Wait Here' sign has an additional sign: 'sponsored by Orange Guy.' BoxJam seethes.]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks up to a wall-mounted tank.]] / [[BoxJam opens a valve and pours some of the tank's contents onto a plate.]] / <> / BoxJam: We go through a lot of butter in this house...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is sitting under a tree and a womanly shape made out of spots is in front of him]] / BoxJam: Whoa... this must be a dream... / [[BoxJam wakes up 'Matrix'-style in his pod with tubes in him]] / [[BoxJam is back under the tree]] / BoxJam: Uh... not that much of a dream... / [[BoxJam wakes up...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is sitting before his boss]] / BoxJam's boss: BoxJam, we like a very tight group here... we think of you like you're family... / [[BoxJam is at home at the dinner table with his family]] / Ms. BoxHam: How'd your review go? / BoxJam: My boss has it in for me...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Two men fighting with a game board on the ground in front of them]] / Caption: AuSTRaLian RuLES CRiBBagE
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam carrying grocery bags]] / BoxJam: Outside the grocery store they've put one of my favorite things - a vending machine with generic soda! / BoxJam: They're color-coded so you know what they are... the red one is cola, the green one lemon-lime, brown root beer, purple grape... / BoxJam:...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Ms. BoxJam and BoxJam as flowers.]] / Ms. BoxJam: You didn't even remember our anniversary!? You're a disgrace to the species! / Caption: It was true - He was a terrible kill-her-while-she-sleeps. Although in this particular instance, it'd've probably been more ironic if he were a forget-me-not.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Mallethead are singing together on a green background]] / BoxJam/Mallethead (singing): Wellll, it's over lads, the war is done, our comrades have fallen, but the victory's won... / BoxJam/Mallethead (singing): Save but six counties, like fair Londonderry, at least we think so, not great...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: I wonder if I should take a class in bookbinding... / Little BoxJam: Why? You'll just be terrible... / BoxJam: What? / Little BoxJam: You're awful at everything... You're the worst person I've ever seen... / BoxJam: Don't you usually feign some *pretense* of support? / Little BoxJam: Just couldn't...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Mallethead sitting at the bar. BoxJam's beer is ENORMOUS]] / Mallethead: SEE, AND I'VE ALWAYS HEARD THAT KIDNEY STONES CALLED FOR NON-BEER FLUIDS.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Ms. BoxJam: I was just reading about a minor celebrity who committed suicide... / BoxJam: Why? / Ms. BoxJam: He left a note that said there was nothing in this life for him... / BoxJam: I wonder if he ever played the bagpipes... / Ms. BoxJam: Why? / BoxJam: I don't how you could say there's nothing...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Ms. BoxJam: I'm home! / BoxJam: Hey, babe... / Ms. BoxJam: I guess you missed me... / BoxJam: Well, sure, I guess... but you were only gone two hours... Why? / Ms. BoxJam: Your nose prints are all over the window...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: I was aware of the very day I outlived my father... / BoxJam: And I was aware of the day he had been dead as long as he'd ever been alive... / BoxJam: Is that a bit weird? / Ms. BoxJam: Well, you know 'weird' is a relative thing...I mean sure, it's weird, but who cares? It makes me [obscured] / BoxJam's...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks in, looking upset.]] / BoxJam: "The Tortoise and the Hare" is just a lie The Man tells to keep us down, isn't it? / Ms. BoxJam: ... and... Mark! 41 years, 15 days... Pathetic, but at least you arrived...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is telling BoxJamina a story in bed - her eyes are glazed]] / BoxJam: ...worked hard all summer, while the grasshopper lazed about... finally, the chilly autumn came... / BoxJam: ...so the grasshopper laid off the ant, and liquidated the ant hill, telling the ants things were like this because...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Group of people loiter before a gated wall guarded by bearded man. Gate is adorned with music notes]] / [[Bearded guard looks at his pager/cell phone]] / <<*BEEP *BEEP*>> / [[Bearded guard clicks his pager, gate opens, and two figures walk to gate]] / Saint Peter: Sanders? Party of Two? Congratulations--enough...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam sits near a gated wall guarded by a bearded man, Saint Peter, who is reading something. Gate is adorned with music notes.]] / BoxJam: I wonder if the living will ever pray for me enough to get into Heaven... / Saint Peter: Well, I wouldn't panic... you've got 6 years of eligibility left... / [[Orange...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Inset: "You can't get into Heaven until enough people have prayed for you." - Thom. Aquinas / [[BoxJam stands at the gates of Heaven, studying them]] / BoxJam: I'd have never guessed the gates of Heaven were inspired by the gates at Graceland... / St. Peter: It makes perfect sense, if you think about...
 

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