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BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are in bed]] / BoxJam: God I'm exhausted. / Ms. BoxJam: Me too - Shh! - I hear something! / BoxJam: It's Little Boxjam! It sounds like he's headed for the bathroom! He'll pass by here and - want something! / Ms. BoxJam: Feign death! / [[BoxJam lies on the floor, Ms. BoxJam in bed, both with X's for eyes]] / [[BoxJam lies on the floor, Ms. BoxJam in bed, both with X's for eyes]] / Ms. BoxJam (whispering): I think the coast is clear. / Ms. BoxJam: We'll burn for that. / BoxJam: But we'll be well rested. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000630.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam walks down a road; the dashes on the median writhe like snakes]] / [[BoxJam looks at the dashes; they'recompletely still and normal-looking]] / [[BoxJam goes on walking; the median dashes go back to writhing]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000703.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Ms. BoxJam: One of little BoxJam's action figures took a dive -- his toys must have some good times. / Toy: Good times? Hell, I was trying to kill myself! Let me escape this life! Please kill me! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000704.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[Ms. BoxJam greets BoxJam at the door with a bag of trash.]] / Ms. BoxJam: I saw a Confederate flag hung with an American flag yesterday. / BoxJam: Uh-oh. / [[BoxJam is at the trash can with the trash.]] / Ms. BoxJam: I recognize the right to free speech, but that's just dumb! It's the 4th of July! Celebrate it or don't! You can't celebrate the country and wish you left! / BoxJam: Yeah... / [[Ms. BoxJam greets BoxJam at the door with a bag of trash.]] / Ms. BoxJam: However you feel about the Confederacy, leaving the Union was treasonary! / BoxJam: Treasonary? / [[BoxJam is at the trash can with the bag of trash.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Treason-ary. Treasony. Treasonish. / BoxJam: Treasomodacious! Treasoriffic! / [[Ms. BoxJam greets BoxJam with a bag of trash.]] / Ms. BoxJam: I heard that. Treaso-nate. Treason-imbued. / BoxJam: Magically treas-licious. Hi, honey, I'm home! / Ms. BoxJam: Treasonicious. Take the trash out. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000705.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam bound around the kids]] / Ms. BoxJam: Bark! Bark! / BoxJam: Ruff! Ruff! / [[As a group they approach 'Gate XYY', Gate 'XYZ', and 'Gate XZA'. BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are on all fours]] / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam have apparently gotten the kids into their seats]] / Ms. BoxJam: Ruff! Ruff! / BoxJam: Bark! Bark! / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam sit on either side of the kids. Ms. BoxJam holds a shepherd's crook.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Man it's tiring taking kids to a sporting event! / BoxJam: You're telling me... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000706.html

BoxJam's Doodle Comics: Christploitation	BoxJam: There's a new store at the mall -- they sell all kinds of Christian-related products. / Ms. BoxJam: A whole store? / BoxJam: Yeah -- WWJD bracelets, Jesus t-shirts, Christian rock CD's, novelizations of the end times . . . / Ms. BoxJam: Is it doing well? / BoxJam: Oh yeah -- the owner said he's making tons of money! / Ms. BoxJam: Let me guess -- "The Jesus and Mary Chain"? / BoxJam: "Christploitation," actually. / Ms. BoxJam: At least he's honest about it . . . http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000707.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: Hey, I just heard a joke about a woman who had deja-vu! / Ms. BoxJam: I've already heard it. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000710.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Ms. BoxJam: Another hour at church. / Ms. BoxJam: Gosh, that sounds harsh, doesn't it? / Ms. BoxJam: Sometimes I wonder, though. Do we get anything out of it? / Ms. BoxJam: Neither one of us care particularly for this church. We both want the kids exposed, but - / Ms. BoxJam: Are they getting anything out of it? / Kids: Mommy - Go lay down so we can nail you to the cross! / Ms. BoxJam: Besides new ways to frighten and disturb us, I mean... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000711.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: I am going to ride my pogo stick! / / BoxJam: That was fun! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000712.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Hurry! Move along! / Faster! Faster! / Move along - Follow the track beams on the floor Move along - Follow the track beams on the floor / BoxJam: How was the bathroom? / Ms. BoxJam: Good. Now they've removed the lights to deal with the "compact mirror" incident they had... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000713.html

BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Ms. BoxJam: Who do you like in the election? / BoxJam: Hmm... haven't really thought about it. Patterson's running, right? / BoxJam: Or Williams! I owe her a favor; I'll go with Williams. Wait - Davis owes me a favor! / BoxJam: Davis is embattled anyway, after the "Soap on a Rope" fund-raiser shipment never materialized - and I'm his closest ally - gasp If he gets impeached, I could be president! / Ms. BoxJam: I meant national elections, not P.T.A. / BoxJam: No-one can stop me! I am Charles Foster BoxJam! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000714.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Little BoxJam: Can I have some orange soda? / BoxJam: Uh-huh. / BoxJam: Uh-huh. / Little BoxJam: Can I build a bike jump? / BoxJam: Uh-huh. / Little BoxJam: Can I drive the car? / BoxJam: Uh-huh. / Little BoxJam: Can I play with matches, with the intent of burning down the house? / BoxJam: Uh-huh. / Little BoxJam: Can I have a new china hutch? / BoxJam: Uh-huh. / Little BoxJam: You owe me a Gameboy. / Ms. BoxJam: Just ask your father. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000717.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Little BoxJam: 'Mina, would you like to share my toy cars? / 'Mina: No! No! No! I must have them alone! On second thought, I just want to break them! I hate you! / Little BoxJam: May I at least keep one to play with? / 'Mina: No! You may not know even the simplest pleasure! Yaragha Ghphlbt!! / Little BoxJam: So then I said "Surely there is some part of you not filled with badness..." / Yoi, yoi, yoi... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000718.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: So Little BoxJam tried to tell me 'Mina is a devil! / Ms. BoxJam: She is! / BoxJam: Huh? / Ms. BoxJam: Well, possessed, technically, but same difference. C'mon, you knew this! / BoxJam: I did? / Ms. BoxJam: Yes! What did you think the bleeding walls were all about? The exorcism that burned the priest? / BoxJam: Well, still, it's not like you ever told me... / Ms. BoxJam: The earth under us screams it out all night long! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000719.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: Pssst... / BoxJam: Buzz / BoxJam: Gotcha! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000720.html

BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam has wings and is flying above some small shaggy bipedal creatures, along a path, and in the direction of a sign in the shape of an arrow that says "THERE."]] / [[BoxJam comes to rest in one of two giant spotted mushrooms, to seek cover from rain. More of the shaggy creatues are huddled around the bases of the mushrooms.]] / [[BoxJam wakes in his dark bedroom, looking startled. Ms. BoxJam is holding his hand and gently snoring in her sleep, by his side. A crescent moon is visible through the window]] / [[BoxJam again has winged and is flying above two of the shaggy monsters that are sitting on a squiggle/tangle of something.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000721.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: Little Boxjam is 98.7 degrees, with a heart rate of 72 and B.P. at 122/80. Blood sugar normal. / BoxJam: 'Mina checks out with 98.6 degrees, 80 B.P.M., 120/80 and normal too. / BoxJam: All windows secure, rooms examined and deemed generally safe. / BoxJam: The kids are alright. / Ms. BoxJam: Check. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000724.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[The top halves of the heads of BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are attached opposite each other and horizontally (proper orientation) to the lower half of a head and what could be the body of either of them.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000725.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: This ghost costume will really scare Ms. BoxJam! Ghosts are scary! / / BoxJam: You'd be surprised how overwhelming is my sense of humiliation... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000726.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: So it turned out that the caretaker of the estate was actually plotting to bring it down... / Mallethead: Huh. / BoxJam: Yeah. I mean the guy whose very title means he should be looking out for the whole shebang, is the guy who would destroy everything ... / Mallethead: Wow. / / BoxJam: It was the most ironic "Scooby Doo" ever. / Mallethead: No kidding. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000727.html

BoxJam's Doodle Comics	BoxJam: Hey - Check out my Florentian hat! / Ms. BoxJam: You look like an Amish pimp. / BoxJam: Really? / BoxJam: Get thee thy money maker churning, harlot! / Ms. BoxJam: Let me restate my meaning ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000728.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam is holding a shovel and has just started digging a hole. He looks intent.]] / [[BoxJam is chest-deep in his hole and has wide eyes, looking panicked. Two mounds of dirt are behind him.]] / [[BoxJam's shovel is now the only part of him that is visible from outside the hole. The two mounds of dirt are larger.]] / [[Not even BoxJam's shovel is now visible. The mounds of dirt are still bigger.]] / Ms. BoxJam: I called the Reverend. "Boogie Bass" is not mentioned in "Revelations." / BoxJam [[from hole]]: It's still the end of civilization. Did you find a book on which plants are edible? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000731.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[Secret Dad Meetings]] / BoxJam: Aw, crud! I forgot my card! / Doorman: Just show me a picture of your ratchet set. / BoxJam: Metric or English? / Doorman: Hmm ... 32 pieces ... I think I had one like that when I was single ... / Doorman: Describe the taste of "Sam Adams" ... / BoxJam: Like a dad can afford that - does it taste like Busch? / Doorman: Good answer. Two cycle or four cycle? / BoxJam: Umm ... My wife bought our lawnmower ... / Doorman: @?‡*$!! Why do you make my job so hard!? What Helen Hunt movie was on TNT last night? / BoxJam: Last night I sat plotting my strategy if one intruder tried to break into my boy's room at the same time as a fire starts, blocking the stairs. / [[Doorman motions for BoxJam to enter]] / Doorman: By the way, after you kill the intruder, throw his body out the window and use it as a cushion when you jump with the kids ... / BoxJam: Well, yeah ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000801.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Ms. BoxJam: So they offered one free pickup and delivery of muumuus. And, you know, I expected to get a hard sell after that. / Ms. BoxJam: I mean, free samples have a price, right? They get you to try it, then try to guilt you into buying. / Ms. BoxJam: But this is ridiculous! They SHOW UP, nearly every day, ringing the doorbell - "What muumuus can we take today?" / Ms. BoxJam: Well? Don't you have any opinion about this? / BoxJam: I was waiting until you had explained why it's my fault. / [[BoxJam has laser hole in torso]] / BoxJam: That WAS just dumb ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000802.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam holds a torch over a coffee table]] / BoxJam: You were a good coffee table! / Ms. BoxJam (crying): Excellent table... / [[watching the burning coffee table float on a raft out to sea]] / BoxJam: Be strong, dear... / Ms. BoxJam: sniff / BoxJam: That's what should have happened, instead of all MY stuff going in the garage until one day you called Good Will behind my back! / Ms. BoxJam: Good Will wouldn't take it. I had to call the trash guys. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000803.html

BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam looking up, face covered in goo]] / BoxJam: There's not really a magic ham up in the sky either, is there? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000804.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	Little BoxJam: Hey - he's asleep! / Little BoxJam: Help me put this trout on him like a hat! / BoxJam: Yawn - Hey, guys, how's it going? / Mallethead: We don't know - trout hat! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000807.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are clearing the land with a scythe and plow]] / BoxJam: Hey - I heard episodes of "Land of the Lost" are coming out on DVD! / BoxJam: Besides the episodes, it's got interviews with the people who played Holly and Chaka, and with Sid and Marty Kroft! / BoxJam: Did you know they hired a linguist to develop a language for Chaka? Or that a late episode was written by David "Trouble With Tribbles" Gerrolds? / Ms. BoxJam: Is that the show with the robot? / / BoxJam: That's "Lost in Space"! / BoxJam: Never heard of "Land of the Lost"?! Do you do this on purpose? / Ms. BoxJam (thinking): Well, duh ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000808.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics: Dad's Revised Grocery List	[[Boxjam's revised shopping list]] / 1. Bass Ale [[crossed out]] / Revised: / 1. Milk [[crossed out]] / 2. Pete's Wicked [[crossed out]] / Take 3: [[crossed out]] / 1. Milk [[crossed out]] / 2. Band-Aids [[crossed out]] / 3. Leinenkugel's [[crossed out]] / You forgot kids' medicine [[arrow pointing to "Leinenkugel's"]] [[crossed out]] / 1. Milk [[crossed out]] / 2. Band-Aids [[crossed out]] / 3. Robitussin [[crossed out]] / 4. Tylenol Chewables [[crossed out]] / 5. Busch [[crossed out]] / No wait! [[arrow pointing to "Tylenol Chewables"]] / Milk / Band-Aids / Robitussin / Tylenol Chewables / Soup / Schlitz / BoxJam [[looking at list and looking disappointed]]: <<sigh>> http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000809.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics	[[BoxJam carries bags inside]] / BoxJam: That's everything except the new vacuum cleaner ... / Ms. BoxJam: You left the vacuum cleaner outside!? / [[Ms. BoxJam and BoxJam run outside]] / KRAK / Hail Hail Hail / / / Ms. BoxJam: Nature ABHORS those things ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000810.html

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