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BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Boxjam is being held at gunpoint by a man with a handlebar moustache.]] / Mustached man: But nobody will realize you are missing, because I'll take your place! Mwahahahaha! / Boxjam, thinking: My evil twin is the Pringles guy...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000922.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Long shot of Ms. BoxJam and BoxJam sitting under a tree on a hill]] / BoxJam: Do you ever think about the ceaseless onslaught of time? / BoxJam: Choose to do something - anything - with an instant. / BoxJam: Bam! It's gone! That instant will never come back, never happen again. / Ms. BoxJam: "The Simpsons" will repeat, dear.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000925.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is sitting down with his paper and pen, Ms. BoxJam is standing beside him]] / BoxJam: Hmmm... / Ms. BoxJam: What? / BoxJam: I wrote "Tsar Head" on this piece of paper as a strip idea - I thought I'd remember what it meant. / Ms. BoxJam: What does it mean? / BoxJam: I have no idea. / [[BoxJam has a large Cossack hat on]] / BoxJam: Does this work?
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000926.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is avidly watching TV for 3 panels before Ms. BoxJam comes up to him]] / Ms. BoxJam: You must be the oldest "buffy" fan in th- / BoxJam: To the hand. / [[BoxJam holds his hand up to Ms. BoxJam's face before she can finish]]
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000927.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Oh, great... I'm awake in the middle of the night... / BoxJam: Why is it, that when I wake up in the middle of the night, I end up thinking about death? / BoxJamL And why is it that at these times, the prospect seems the most disturbing? During the day, I don't think about death constantly. But here, it's inevitable. / BoxJam: My life is such a short thing in universal time. And here it is - this is my instant to be aware, exist, experience. / <> / BoxJam: Maybe I'll go eat a bowl of Cap'n Crunch.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000928.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam holding a newspaper]] / BoxJam: Aw, jeeze. A twelve year-old died. A service will be held tomorrow to "celebrate his life." / BoxJam: I hate that. "Celebrate his life" is such a lie- or should be. Either the people doing this are lying to themselves about the life this kid missed, or some funeral director forced it on them. / BoxJam: This is a time to be angry. Curse the fates, spit on destiny. We're not going to fix anything pretending we're here / to have a good time. / Ms. BoxJam: We're not at the service, dear. / BoxJam: We're going. We're going to help these people. / Ms. BoxJam: Ooh, fun. I'll get a baby-sitter.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20000929.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are talking while submerged in sand at the beach - beside them is a giant clam]] / BoxJam: What if traditional ideas of eternal life are wrong? What if / eternal life means that you 'live' whenever you're remembered? / BoxJam: Every time someone thinks of you, your 'soul' becomes aware - 'witnesses' the event. Achieving immortality would mean doing something unforgetable. / Ms. BoxJam: Would it just be whenever somebody said your name, or would they have to remember you, the person, whether or not they got your name right? / BoxJam: I'd do it as the person, were I the great designer. / Ms. BoxJam: You know, Einstein used to ask himself, "How would I have done it, were I the great designer," only he'd be right. / BoxJam: Oooh - you thought of Einstein! Now he's watching you!
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001002.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [Ms. BoxJam is on the phone - speaking in strange symbols. BoxJam is sitting in a nearby chair looking apprehensive]] / Caption: The Experiment / [[Ms. BoxJam continues speaking, with the symbols going into BoxJam's head. He looks very nervous and twitchy]] / [[Ms. BoxJam's symbols continue into BoxJam's head, which is now shaking]] / [[BoxJam's head explodes. Ms. BoxJam continues speaking in strange symbols on the phone]] / <> / [[Bits of BoxJam's head lie on the floor - his eyes are 'X'd out. Ms. BoxJam goes on talking]] / Caption: Man Was Not Meant To Understand the Secret Language of Women.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001003.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is lying on a chess board with a huge Ms. BoxJam looking over him]] / [[Ms. BoxJam comes up to BoxJam]] / Ms. BoxJam: What're you thinking about? / BoxJam: I just had a stunning revelation about "the game." / Ms. BoxJam: What game? / BoxJam: Nothing.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001004.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are playing Hangman with Little BoxJam. They have already guessed 2 E's in a 6 letter word]] / BoxJam: Y. / Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: O / Little BoxJam: No. / Ms. BoxJam: R / Little BoxJam: Yes. / BoxJam: U. / Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: W. / Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: A. / Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: N. / Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: T. / Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: A. / Little BoxJam: Ha! You already guessed that! / BoxJam: Question mark. / Little BoxJam: Question mark? / BoxJam: Yeah. / Little BoxJam: No! / [[Little BoxJam is left alone, under the __EER_ there is "Y O U W A N T A ?"]] / Little BoxJam: Man. Parents are so bad at Hangman.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001005.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are talking]] / Ms. BoxJam: I thought you were going to Mallethead's! / BoxJam: I was - he's a little, ah... preoccupied... / Ms. BoxJam: Oh, Lord, did you walk in on them? / BoxJam: Are you kidding? I knew from three blocks away! / Ms. BoxJam: Because...they...ah... / BoxJam: Oh, say it. Bang a gong! To get it on! They bang a gong! / {{easter egg alert: This doodle is clickable}}
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001006.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are outside their house looking at a sapling growing next to the house]] / BoxJam: I never noticed this sapling growing so close to the house... / Ms. BoxJam: Oh yeah. Well it's small - you can chop it down easily / before it causes damage... / BoxJam: Yep... / [[Ms. BoxJam walks away]] / [[BoxJam stands looking at the sapling for 2 panels]] / [[BoxJam is carefully replanting it elsewhere]]
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001009.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are having a drink at a bar]] / Ms. BoxJam: How'd you get that scar on your arm? / BoxJam: In a fight. / [[Ms. BoxJam looks incredulously at BoxJam]] / Ms. BoxJam: *You* were in a fight? / BoxJam: Yep. That's where I got the scar. / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam look at each other for 3 panels]] / Ms. BoxJam: You didn't win, did you? / BoxJam: Well, I won you. / [[they look at each other again]] / Ms. BoxJam: It wasn't a fight about me, was it? / BoxJam: Damn.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001010.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam while she is gardening]] / BoxJam: I'm sorry. / Ms. BoxJam: For what? / [[BoxJam looks around]] / BoxJam: I'm sure there's something. / Ms. BoxJam: Fair enough.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001011.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam are playing ball]] / Little BoxJam: 'N if they pick your seat, you get to go down on the field! / Little BoxJam: 'N one of the real players from the team comes out 'n throws the ball to you! / Little BoxJam: All you have to do is catch it three times and you win cool stuff, 'n everybody cheers! / [[BoxJam looks at Little BoxJam]] / BoxJam: You must feel really bad if you drop it...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001012.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Ms. BoxJam comes up to BoxJam looking angry]] / Ms. BoxJam: Suicide ticks me off. / BoxJam: Yeah. We hate suicide! / Ms. BoxJam: And dry-clean only kids' clothes! / BoxJam: Damn straight! / Ms. BoxJam: Oooh... and third parties! / BoxJam: Tell it, girlfriend / Ms. BoxJam: I'm ready! / BoxJam: Do it!! / [[BoxJam whips up a piece of wood and Ms. BoxJam burns a hole in it with her laser eyes]] / [[BoxJam looks at the hole in the wood]] / BoxJam: Hey, nice job! / Ms. BoxJam: Shut up. / BoxJam: ok, you need time to unwind...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001013.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics - A Sweetest Day Carol TITLE: A SWEETEST DAY CAROL / [[The BoxJam family walks through a scenic snowstorm - BoxJam with a top hat, Ms. BoxJam with her hands in a muff, 'Mina in earmuffs. Little BoxJam throws a snowball]] / Ms. BoxJam: Ooohh...Sweetest Day is coming - I just love this time of year! / BoxJam: Bah! Sweetest Day is just an excuse for Hallmark to pick a man's pocket once a year! / [[They walk past Mallethead, who is wearing a top hat and holding a bag. BoxJam now has a walking stick, and Ms. BoxJam has stopped to build a snowman]] / Mallethead: ALMS FOR TH'POOR? / BoxJam: Get bent! / Mallethead: VERY GOOD GUV'NA / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam getting ready for bed]] / Ms. BoxJam: Don't you just love when we put this creepy, shroud-like canopy over our bed? / BoxJam: Bah! Bah! / [[A bearded guy with a crown floats above the bed]] / Guy: Arise, BoxJam! I am the ghost of Sweetest Days' past! / BoxJam: Which is what, all of eleven years? / [[They fly upward together]] / Ghost of Sweetest Days Past: Ooh, verrry funny...just for that, let's visit your first Sweetest Day! / BoxJam: Aw, dag...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001016.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[the spirit of Sweetest Day Past is taking BoxJam for a wild ride to visit his past]] / BoxJam: spirit - I can see the whole village! Wow- my gutters need cleaning... / Spirit: come, BoxJam, I will show you shadows of "Sweetest Days" from your past... / [[BoxJam and spirit look in on a Sweetest Day with BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam when they wer young and unmarried. Ms. BoxJam is handing BoxJam a Sweetest Day card]] / BoxJam: why don't I have a card for her? / Spirit: Because you suck. / Young Ms. BoxJam: Happy Sweetest Day, honey! I got you a card! / Young BoxJam: Happy what!? Bo-gus! / BoxJam: Where are the kids? / Spirit: You didn't have them yet. Look how insensitive you are. / Young Ms. BoxJam: So, like, um, yeah. / Young BoxJam: I guess you wanna go to a movie now. / [[Spirit is looking a bit disgusted]] / Young Ms. BoxJam: Like, cool... / Young BoxJam: uh, I'm a little strapped for cash... can you cover it? / [[Spirit looking very disgusted]] / Young Ms. BoxJam: Me pay for a movie you're taking me to? / Young BoxJam: Is that a problem? / BoxJam: No, seriously- where are the kids? / Spirit: Oh, forget it! Let's go meet the ghost of Sweetest Day Present! / Young Ms. BoxJam: It's setting off my "deadbeat guy" alarm... / Young BoxJam: I hear ya-you're broke too. Let's watch T.V.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001017.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Spirit of Sweetest Day Past takes BoxJam to meet the spirit of Sweetest Day Present, who is a flaming angel ghost]] / spirit of Sweetest Day past: Ghost of Sweetest Day Present, this is BoxJam. He's your problem now. / Ghost of sweestest day present: Piker, huh? OK, BoxJam, let's take a look around your life. Now. / [[BoxJam and Ghost are looking at Ms. BoxJam and Little BoxJam talking]] / Ghost: This is earlier today. Whoa! Your wife is hot! / Ms. BoxJam: Little BoxJam, you seem worried! / Little BoxJam: Mommy, Sweetest Day is coming up! If I don't get card and presents, I might not be... popular! / Ghost: Boring! Let's lookit the woman in bed! / Ms. BoxJam: Oh, honey, don't worry - your dad will get you all kinds of things! / Little BoxJam: I...hope..so... / [[Ghost and BoxJam look in on Ms. BoxJam in bed while she is asleep]] / Ghost: Oh yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about! / Ms. BoxJam mumbling: Mmff... want Hallmark cards...sknxxx...flowers...dinner... / BoxJam: Oh my God! My wife wants attention? I had no idea! / [[a hooded reaper-type ghost comes in, BoxJam looks frightened]] / Ghost: Well, that's it for me- give it up for Sweetest Day yet-to-come! / BoxJam: Hey! Keep the flames away from the bed! What happened to ghosts cold with the touch of dea-yah!...Hi, there...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001018.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[a sign reads "BoxJam is being shown various Sweetest Day visions by...oh, hell, go look at Monday's doodle." yet-to-come is showing boxjam around]] / BoxJam: Spectre, I fear you more than the others...what horrible shadows will you show me of Sweetest Days yet-to-come? / [[Yet-to-come shows BoxJam a row of Nazis marching]] / BoxJam: Nazis!? If I don't celebrate Sweetest Day, the Nazis would have won WWII? Not only won, but taken over the U.S., and continued a military occupation through today, without ever updating their uniforms?! / BoxJam: Are you putting me on?
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001019.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam springs up in bed]] / [[BoxJam jumps out of bed]] / BoxJam: Morning! / [[BoxJam opens a window and yells out]] / BoxJam: You there! Boy! Oh, little Itch! Tell me, Itch, what day is it today? / Boy: Why, suh, y'must be dahft! it's Sweetest Day, by my right! / [[Ms. BoxJam, yawning, comes over to BoxJam at the window]] / BoxJam: Here's twenty ducats! Go buy the biggest card hanging in the Hallmark shop window! / Ms. BoxJam: What are you on about? / BoxJam: It's Sweetest Day, love! / Ms. BoxJam: You're just buying my present now?! / BoxJam: 3 ghosts visited me last night, and... / Ms. BoxJam: Stick to the point! Did you just ask that kid Itch to cover you by buying my present now? / BoxJam: Well, sort of, but... / Ms. BoxJam: Well don't I feel just wonderful? *sniff* *sniff* / Little BoxJam: Did you make Mommy cry? / BoxJamina: Mommy!? / [[Itch comes in with a huge heart shaped card, Little BoxJam is beating up BoxJam, Ms. BoxJam is crying and BoxJamina is crying]] / Itch: Here's yah card, Mistah BoxJam! / BoxJam: Uh, thanks, Itch. / Little BoxJam: I hate you! / Narrator: "And it was said from that day onward, that BoxJam always carried the joy of Sweetest Day in his heart, all through the year. If, by "joy", you mean "guilt."
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001020.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam's physical bodies are both a collection of black, separated particles]] / BoxJam: Fine. Next time I'll call a *qualified* theoretical physicist. / Ms. BoxJam: I'd appreciate it.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001023.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Little BoxJam: What's Frankenstein's favorite animal? / BoxJam [[reading newspaper]: I don't know- what? / Little BoxJam: A giraffe! / BoxJam: Oh... ah... Ha ha ha ha ha ha! / <> / <> / Little BoxJam: OhwaitImean Dracula...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001024.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is looking into BoxJamina's crib]] / BoxJam: You've always been a good sleeper, 'Mina. / BoxJam: Your brother didn't sleep through the night until he was 3. / BoxJam: You slept through the night when you were two weeks old. / BoxJam: I woke up at 7, and realized you hadn't gotten us up all night. / [[BoxJam stares at 'Mina for 3 panels]] / [[BoxJam looks to the side]] / BoxJam: I thought you had died...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001025.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is sitting on the ground with BoxJamina, looking upset, while BoxJamina looks angry]] / BoxJamina: Yoi yoi yoi yoi yoi / BoxJam: Hey, 'Mina- / BoxJamina: Yoi yoi yoi yoi yoi / [[BoxJamina's yois become louder]] / BoxJam: I was wondering if- / BoxJamina: Yoi yoi yoi yoi yoi / [[louder]] / BoxJam: I mean are you - / BoxJamina: YOI YOI YOI / [[very loud]] / BoxJam: I guess she's still mad at me... / BoxJamina: Yoi yoi yoi yoi
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001026.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam looking mad]] / BoxJam: you know, I'd fight for you if I had to. / Ms. BoxJam: I guess that's nice. Why are you so angry about it? / BoxJam: I'm thinking about those guys I'd beat up. / Ms. BoxJam: Really? You picture yourself winning, too?
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001027.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is writing a letter]] / BoxJam (writing): Dear Derbs, you may not remember me, but I ran across your name on the internet, and found your address. it's been yeaers! I still remember summer camp and what good friends we were. / [[BoxJam sends the email and sits waiting for an answer for 20 nights before looking sad]]
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001030.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is walking along with a bag of trash when there's a ripple in front of him]] / [[BoxJam looks very scared]] / boxjam: Ai...ai...ai...ai...ai... / Ghost: Please help mmmeee...my unsettled sssooulll... / Ms. boxJam (from outside the panel): Honey? / BoxJam: urrgle... / Ghost: Give mmeee a huggg... / Ms. BoxJam (from outside the panel): BoxJam! Answer me! / [[Ms. BoxJam walks up with a broom, the ghost is advancing towards BoxJam with arms outstretched and BoxJam's eyes are tiny]] / BoxJam: wehhh... / Ghost: please help me... / Ms. BoxJam: Oh my God-a ghost?! / [[Ms. BoxJam smacks the ghost with the broom, who disappears with a poof. BoxJam's eyes are even tinier]] / Ghost: Helllpp... / << POOF! >> / Ms. BoxJam: Not in MY house, Casper! / Ms. BoxJam: First penguins, now this... next we'll have termites. you just watch... / [[She walks off leaving BoxJam with tiny eyes]]
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001031.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[All we can see is a paperdoll-chain of Ms. BoxJam burning holes in BoxJam's head with laser vision]] / Voice (offscreen): On the one hand, it shows remarkable motor skill development...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001101.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Ms. BoxJam, holding a basket of laundry is talking to BoxJam, holding a bag of trash]] / Ms. BoxJam: The world would be a better place if everybody did what they were really good at. / Ms. BoxJam: Wouldn't it be wonderful? Instead of worrying about money, or what education you have, or what other people thought of you, you'd just do the thing you're best at! / [[BoxJam looks a little worried, and a rat stands behind him]] / Ms. BoxJam: Well? / [[BoxJam still looks worried - the rat runs off]] / BoxJam: What would the people who aren't good at anything get to do?
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20001102.html
 

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