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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{I drew this one in a different style after someone on a message board railed about all the poorly drawn comics that looked like they had been "scribbled." I scribbled until I got rough shapes of BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam.}} / BoxJam: Stop me if you've heard this one before...a man weighs all goods brought into his household, and also all the trash that leaves it...
/ Ms. BoxJam: I've heard it. / [[Three panels of silence]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010309.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A young BoxJam at a desk at school]]
/ Young BoxJam (thinking): Someday, I'm going to draw a terrible comic strip! / [[shot of a yearbook picture of BoxJam]]
/ Yearbook caption: "Most likely to draw a terrible comic strip;" newspaper 11, 12; JV art club 10, 11, kicked off 12 / [[door that has a window with stenciling "The College Paper"]]
/ Voice from behind the door: These are really terrible!
/ Thought balloon from behind the door: Yes! / [[BoxJam getting out of bed. The clock reads 5:00]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Come back to bed!
/ BoxJam: I have to go draw my terrible comic strip! / [[closeup of a book]]
/ Writing in Book: Index of great, good, or even halfway decent comic strips of all time, in alphabetical order, p. 12: Boner's Ark, Boy and His Dog, Boy Who Hums a Lot, Boy Ziggy, Braille Comics, (obscured)
/ Thought Balloon (from offpanel): Whew! / [[BoxJam talking to a guy at a party]]
/ Guy: Really!? That's the most terrible comic strip I've ever seen!
/ BoxJam (blushing): Thanks... / [[Headstone]]
/ Epitaph: BoxJam *Drew a Truly Terrible Comic Strip* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010312.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam have grossly disproportinate heads]]
/ BoxJam: And our whole future depends on this appraisal!
/ Ms. BoxJam: No... / [[Now heads are the right size, but BoxJam's hand is gigantic, as are Ms. BoxJam's hairbow and foot]]
/ BoxJam: Yes! If it comes in low, we may as well live on the street!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Don't be ridiculous... / [[BoxJam looks flattened and Ms. BoxJam's arm is longer than her body]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: You've got to keep things in perspecitve. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010313.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A cup of liquid is coming straight at the viewer. There are crosshairs in the middle of the picture, and Little BoxJam in the background.]]
/ Caption: The last frame of the video http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010314.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A choo-choo train chugs along under a bright sun, with a giraffe in the first car, and a monkey in the next.]] / [[The train heads up a big hill - we now see the third car has an elephant.]] / [[It heads down the hill.]] / [[It crashes into a large block at the bottom of the hill.]] / [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam high-five each other over the toy train, which has scattered all over the floor.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam (thinking): At least it was a circus train...
/ Little BoxJam: WHOO!
/ BoxJam: YEAH! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010315.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam's head is misshapen]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Since you began, how many BoxJam heads have you drawn?
/ BoxJam: Couple, few thousand...what's your point? / [[Ms. BoxJam walks away dumbfounded]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Nothing... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010316.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: So, in elementary school, did you have to spend way too many hours singing "One Tin Soldier"?
/ Ms. BoxJam: No. We never sang that. / BoxJam: Sure you did. You know: "Listen, children, to a story, that was written long ago..."
/ Ms. BoxJam: Nope. / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010319.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam hands 'Mina a doll that looks a lot like a teletubby]]
/ BoxJam: Here, 'Mina - I got you a telebuddy! His tummy really shows videos!
/ Telebuddy: Push tummy! Push tummy! / Telebuddy: Here's a video of your dad shelling out sixty bucks for this toy! / BoxJam: I don't know whether to be morally outraged, or just really respect that...
/ Telebuddy: Ha ha ha! Play again! Play again! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010320.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam reads; BoxJam watches her]] / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010321.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A tired BoxJam and family pull up to their house in the boat]]
/ BoxJam: OK, everybody- we're back home from our three week vacation! / [[They walk up to the front door carrying luggage]] / [[Ms. BoxJam stands inside the door with a bag of trash for BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: I will never get how this works... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010322.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: I was at the grocery store when a fruit bat came up to me. / Ms. BoxJam: She asked me for some change so she could buy an apple / Ms. BoxJam: They say you should always be careful around strange animals, so I tried to get to an aisle with other shoppers, but she followed me... / BoxJam (singing): Came the answer, from the valley, mount your horses, draw your swords! And the kil-
/ [[Ms. BoxJam laser-eyes BoxJam throught the head]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: WE NEVER SANG "ONE TIN SOLDIER!" http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010323.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and The Orange Guy at the 'Wait Here' sign]] / [[The Orange Guy spontaneously combusts]] / [[He continues to burn]] / [[Finally there's just a pile of ashes]] / BoxJam (thinking): Jerk. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010326.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[overhead view of BoxJam being rained on]] / [[regular view of BoxJam being rained on]] / [[Ms. BoxJam, under an umbrella, walks up to BoxJam.]] / Ms. BoxJam: It's raining.
/ BoxJam: Oh. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010327.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJamina is crying and BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are standing next to her]]
/ BoxJam: What's with her?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Oh, just toddler anxiety, I suppose... / Ms. BoxJam: It's a tough age. she gets constantly corrected, since there's so much she's not allowed to do, and so much more she fails at when she tries... / Ms. BoxJam: Imagine if you felt like everyone was disappointed in you in every aspect of your life... / [[BoxJam crouches down to 'Mina, who has stopped crying]] / BoxJam: I use beer... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010328.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is at the door to hell. Satan is standing there with a bag of trash to hand to him]]
/ BoxJam: I've got to admit- I was expecting more clever irony~ http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010329.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam walks, fuming, into the frame.]] / [[She stops at BoxJam.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam (furious): Oh, shut up... / [[She walks angrily off. BoxJam looks out at audience]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010330.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam has 'Mina on his shoulder and Little BoxJam at his side]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: How was the zoo, guys?
/ BoxJam: Fine, mostly. There was one know-it-all volunteer delivering self-righteous truisms to nobody in particular by the gorillas... / BoxJam: "Gorillas are considered the most gentle primate. If you don't know who the most dangerous is *dramatic pause* ~ LOOK IN THE MIRROR." Well, thank you, Mr. Superior. We've never heard THAT before! / Ms. BoxJam: Uh-huh...
/ 'Mina: Zebra go poo poo!
/ BoxJam: So I punched him! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010402.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Inset: The least popular "Just So" Story / [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam under a tree]]
/ BoxJam: ...which is why helium is now a noble gas, alpacas still have a taste for human flesh, and people in France don't have place value in their number system!
/ Little BoxJam: Huh. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010403.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Little BoxJam jumps up into the bottom of a floating red box with an exclamation mark. Ms. BoxJam watches through a monocular.]] / [[Little BoxJam flies off wearing a winged hat.]]
/ Little BoxJam: Wa-hoooo! / Boxjam: How long has that been there?
/ Little BoxJam (flying past): Eee heee! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010404.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Tell Mommy you're bathed and brushed your teeth!
/ [[BoxJam sends 'Mina up an air tube.]] < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010405.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010406.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[The BoxJam family are walking along in Star Trek uniforms. BoxJam looks down at his red security muu-muu.]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): I don't like the looks of this... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010409.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam, in a bumper car, has been pulled over by a bumper car cop, who is writing a ticket, and whose bumper car siren is lit]]
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010410.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam has bags of trash on his arms]]
/ BoxJam: These bags of trash should make me fly...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Why don't you use something more winglike? / BoxJam: ... / BoxJam: OK... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010411.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand outside looking at the sky]]
/ BoxJam: Well, the moon looks the same. And the big dipper does too. Both of these are indications we're still on Earth, within several thousand years of the year 2001. / [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand outside looking at the sky]]
/ BoxJam: Big Dipper leads us to the North Star, which I'll rough out is 45-50˚
/ off the horizon, putting us at 40-45˚ North latitude. / [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand outside]]
/ BoxJam: Flora just budding and blooming, it's spring. We've got time to get established. We should be able to find one of Earth's old population centers, and shelter, before long.
/ Mrs. BoxJam: OK, OK... You're right... / [[BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam stand outside]]
/ Mrs. BoxJam: "Planet of the Apes" could have been a much shorter movie.
/ BoxJam: Hey, why'd they send 3 of us and one chick? I'd have sent 4 women and some sperm to colonize a new planet... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010412.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is taking a bag of trash to the trash can. In the distance, a glowing trash can sits upon a floating cube in the air]]
/ BoxJam: I wonder if that other trash can's as good as they say... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010413.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: If you were lost in the woods for a long time, would you eat leaves?
/ Ms. BoxJam: What on earth for? / BoxJam: The survivalists say you're supposed to.
/ Ms. BoxJam: If survivalists told you to jump off a bridge, would you? / [[BoxJam ponders.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010416.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: I wiped hair off the bathroom floor.
/ Ms. BoxJam: You missed a lot. / [[BoxJam drops to his knees]]
/ BoxJam: YES! YES! YES! I am now infinitely hopeless, by virtue of disappointing everybody in every aspect of my life! / BoxJam: I do nothing but try to please, yet I fail utterly at work, with you, with the kids, my friends- everyone! The denominator is zero - my futility ratio is infinite! / [[BoxJam fist pumps]]
/ BoxJam: WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Your sarcasm needs work. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010417.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam and BoxJam in bed]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Do you ever wonder what someone from the past would think of today?
/ BoxJam: Yeah, sometimes... / Ms. BoxJam: George Washington would be very interested to see the constitution still working, I suppose...
/ BoxJam: I'd show the father of our country what it's like to die in a clinic of my l33t Super Smash Brothers SK1llz... / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010418.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[George Washington and BoxJam are sitting on the floor, playing video games. Washington's controller is purple.]]
/ George Washington: First in war, first in peace, and first in fragz, baby!
/ BoxJam: I'm losing to a 269 year old man...as Team Yoshi...
/ George Washington: Yeah, you lose to your seven year old, too...what's your point? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20010419.html |
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