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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam at the stove, reading a cylindrical box]] / [[He walks out and stands on a newspaper Ms. BoxJam was reading]]
/ BoxJam: See? It says, "simmer for one minute, stirring occasionally!" / BoxJam: How many times can one stir occasionally in one minute!? Leno's "Headlines" city! / [[BoxJam sitting alone with a bowl of oatmeal]]
/ BoxJam: Well, I thought it was funny... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011120.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walking through a door with a sign saying "Improv classes here"]] / [[BoxJam is talking to a man with a beard]]
/ BoxJam: Yea, Oberon, like an arrow I fly to complete your errands! / [[BoxJam has his arms out and his eyes closed]]
/ Bearded Man: Wait - what? / BoxJam: Well, in this "Midsummer Night's Dream" production I once saw, the fairies were all on roller blades, and I thought -
/ Bearded Man: You suck. / BoxJam: But I-
/ [[Instructor walks up]]
/ Instructor: OK, you've worked with most everone here tonight - how many thought he sucked? / [[a whole group of people raise their hands]] / [[BoxJam walking away from the door with the sign]]
/ BoxJam: It wasn't a close vote or anything... people in the back didn't need to raise both hands... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011121.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[The BoxJam family as Puritans]]
/ BoxJam: Well, I'm looking forward to the feast... Goody Touchstone makes good fish soup..
/ Ms. BoxJam: Aye... and Goodman Touchstone is a good shot... I'm sure he'll have bagged a prise pheaasant... / BoxJam: Yes, well I'm sure Goodman Touchstone is helped by not having to take the kids wherever...
/ Ms. BoxJam: ... And he raises good corn, too... And makes all the kids' clothes... Aye, it'll be good to see him... / BoxJam: Look, all I said was Goody Touchstone makes good soup!
/ Ms. BoxJam: ... And for Christmas I heard he's sailing them all down to Santo Domingo... / [[later, the family is seated at the Thanksgiving feast]]
/ BoxJam: ... And I'm thankful for our life here in the new world...
/ Ms. BoxJam: ... And Goody Touchstone's fish soup! Don't forget her fish soup! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011122.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: You know that new guy who moved in down the street?
/ Ms. BoxJam: You mean "The Drifter"? / BoxJam: Yeah.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Sure. What about him? / BoxJam: I heard he's moving away.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Huh. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011123.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam]] / [[They are duplicated in pink]] / [[They are duplicated in three colors]] / Ms. BoxJam: That's really annoying.
/ BoxJam: Sorry. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011126.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam and the kids crouch behind a bush.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: There it is, kids! The great white bellied sloth! In his typical state - sleeping! / Ms. BoxJam: This species is very rare, because he has trouble finding a mate! And that's because of his lazy habits! He sleeps his life away! / BoxJam: He doesn't seem to be very useful - doesn't build the home, doesn't provide food...he has to be physically prodded to remove waste from the den! / [[BoxJam, in a pith helmet, crawls up behind them]]
/ BoxJam: Hey...any luck spotting that sloth?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Yes ~ there's one in a tree over there! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011127.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Little BoxJam.: Aughh!! I can't remember the "memory trick" our teacher gave us for remembering the planets in order!
/ BoxJam: "Make Very Easy Money -- Just Save Utility Nails, Punk!" / Little BoxJam.: Ok, so how do you remember that?
/ BoxJam: Easy -- it stands for "Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto"! / [silence] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011128.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. Boxjam is writing something into a calendar; Boxjam is on her left, looking on.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Do you know when Sven's birthday is?
/ BoxJam: January 1. / Ms. Boxjam: Really?
/ BoxJam: Yeah -- all Norses celebrate their birthday on January first! / [[pause]] / Mrs. BoxJam: That's HORSES!
/ BoxJam: Oh. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011129.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is watching the TV news.]]
/ TV: Finally on tonight's news, children's author Arnold Lobel has died. Most famous for his "Frog and Toad" books, his writing always focused on the importance of friendship. / TV: He leaves behind a wife, Anita Lobel, who is an illustrator of children's books, notably "A Coat for Anna," and adult children. / TV: He may not be the most famous kids' book writer ever, and "Frog and Toad" don't even appreciate the stature they should, but then again, what would it matter if he had Seuss-like popularity? He's dead. Like all of us, he'll one day be forgotten.
/ Other voice on TV: Um... / First TV anchor: No matter the beauty of the simple truths he wrote, no matter how hard generations work to remember him, our old friend entropy will ensure it's for naught.
/ Second TV anchor: Ted, are you sure this is appropriate for a newscast? / Ted: Sure, his wife and kids are over it by now, but should they be?
/ Other anchor: Over it!? When did he die!?
/ Ted: Well, 1987...
/ Other anchor: 1987!?
/ Ted: Look, I just heard about it today, OK? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011130.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and BoxJamina are standing together, 'Mina trailing her customary blanket.]]
/ BoxJam: Wow, 'Mina... Look how big you're getting! / BoxJam: ... And you're learning so fast! You're so smart! You take after your mother, and -- / [['Mina holds out a full trash bag to her father, who takes it.]] / [[BoxJam takes out the trash.]]
/ BoxJam: -- and now that this has happened, the next big milestone is the dreaded "woman talk." Ewghh... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011203.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: OK honey- test the Christmas lights! / [[ The entire earth and moon are lit up]] / BoxJam: That's good! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011204.html |
| The Great Escape | Little BoxJam and/or 'Mina: Mommy! We let Bup outside and somehow he got over the fence and escaped!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Hmm... / [[Ms. BoxJam notices a trail of trashbags]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: You know what, kids? I think I just might know of a way to find your dad, after all... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011205.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Television: ... in other news, a group of more-or-less unreligious non-extremists did not kill anybody in God's name... / Television: Self-described "unassuming lackadaisicals" issued a statement just afterward, claiming responsibility. / Television: "We're not, like, atheists or anything," came the anything-but-stern warning. "I guess we could go to church more... anyway, point is, didn't kill or hurt anybody on a directive from God." Experts say this is nothing new for the group, and the world should brace for more of the same. / BoxJam: ... and I took out the trash.
/ Television: Finally tonight, BoxJam took out the trash. This has been "Obvious News." Good night. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011206.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: So you see, kids, being "brave" means doing something even though you're scared! Everybody gets scared! / BoxJam: What does Bup do when he's scared? / 'Mina and Little BoxJam: Girlie scream.
/ BoxJam: My girlie scream! Right! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011207.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Look, all I'm saying is we've got our health, we've got friends... / BoxJam: We're rich in every sense of the word! / Ms. BoxJam: ... every sense except the actual definition.
/ BoxJam: Well, granted. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011210.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Sign: Wait Here / Sign: Wait Here
/ Orange Guy: Hey- did you hear about that controversial new artist?
/ BoxJam: Um... / Sign: Wait Here
/ Orange Guy: All this guy did was fill seven big vials with sailor men!
/ BoxJam: ! / Sign: Wait Here
/ Orange Guy: What's controversial is that all these sailor men have to stay in these vials!
/ BoxJam: ... / Sign: Wait Here
/ Orange Guy: Anyway, it's interesting... / Sign: Wait Here
/ BoxJam (thinking): Man I hate that guy! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011211.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Mechanic: Well, your front axle shaft's CV boot needs replaced...
/ BoxJam: How soon? Can it wait a month? / Mechanic: Well now, it might be able to wait a month- on the other hand, you might get a mile down the road and the car'll blow up!
/ BoxJam: *SIGH*- Go ahead and fix it, then... / BoxJam: Do CV boots explode, or was he threatening to booby-trap my car? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011212.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam comes up to BoxJam while he is watching tv]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: you need to clean out the garage...
/ BoxJam: Sure... hey, what are the odds the sun explodes tonight? / Ms. BoxJam: Maybe about .00000000000000000000000001 / Ms. BoxJam: Now, about the garage...
/ BoxJam: Look, since we agree there's a chance the whole garage thing is moot... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011213.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam rides up on a segway-like scooter]]
/ BoxJam: I'm back from the store!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Did you get the stuff I asked for? / BoxJam: No way! I'm not going to leave a $2000 scooter out while I go INSIDE the store!
/ Ms. BoxJam: We need to lock it, then / BoxJam: Maybe I'll write "tough guy" sayings on it...
/ Ms. BoxJam: What about a lock? / [[BoxJam rides the scooter with a big, ungainly lock hanging therefrom]]
/ BoxJam: *sigh* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011214.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{A friend of mine actually set up a toy laser gun as his doorbell. I guess I owe him about 15 cents, which is about what I've cumulatively made on the whole week of doorbell jokes. Is that how you spell 'cumulative' - it doesn't look right}}
/ [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: I know that you don't think I'm much of a handyman, but I think you'll agree we need to find ways to save money... / BoxJam: I took the liberty of attacking a few projects today... / BoxJam: I think we'll both benefit if you keep in mind that half of being a handyman is using what you have ~ what's available... / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011217.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: I realize the "door gun" was probably a bad idea... / BoxJam: I've dismantled it. You can relax... / [[A huge slab on a rope crashes into the floor.]] / BoxJam: Door sledge - I'll get it! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011218.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: "Door rats" are a "no," then?
/ Mrs. BoxJam: AAAIIEE! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011219.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: ...So now I've rigged it so that when somebody presses the doorbell, our house becomes the "Sabado Gigante" show... / [[Ms. BoxJam looks around, panicked]] / BoxJam: Of course, I can't just MAKE somebody show up at our door... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011220.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: Tell Bup he needs to fix the doorbell again... / [[There is a straight line marking the path Little BoxJam walks from Ms. BoxJam to BoxJam]]
/ Little BoxJam: Mommy says to fix the doorbell...
/ BoxJam: OK... / Note underneat: apologies to Bil Keane~ http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011221.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: Why don't we live it up like there's no tomorrow?
/ Ms. BoxJam: We've got two kids and gigantic Christmas bills. / [[BoxJam alone]]
/ BoxJam: Yeah, but what if there's no tomorrow? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011228.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is waiting at the wait here sign with the Orange Guy, looking annoyed]] / [[In the background a strange something is coming toward them]] / [[It is closer, looks like a horn and some eyes]] / [[A rhino head pops out of the ground, Orange Guy and BoxJam look surprised]] / [[The rhino jumps out and pokes Orange Guy in the ass to his surprise]] / [[Orange Guy starts to run, the rhino jumps out of the ground to chase him, BoxJam looking startled]] / [[BoxJam is left alone at the sign, with Orange Guy being chased by the rhino in the distance]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): I didn't even know there were ground rhinos around here http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20011231.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam hands Ms. BoxJam money]]
/ BoxJam: Well, I know I owe you a lot... I hope this will do for now... / [[BoxJam hands Little BoxJam money]]
/ BoxJam: ...And something for you, Champ... I hope this squares us... / [[BoxJam hand 'Mina money]]
/ BoxJam: And you, too, sweetie... Will this set things right? / [[Little BoxJam whispers to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ Little BoxJam: (Are we ever going to tell him it's new year's resolutions, not restitutions?) / Ms. BoxJam: (Shh!) / BoxJam: *sigh* I better start saving up for cash Wednesday... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020101.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: You know, even though the Beverly Hillbillies are rich, they could still live where they used to, if they'd be happier there... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020102.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[under a huge dark cloud]]
/ BoxJam: Man! Big storm blowing in!
/ Ms. BoxJam: That's not really a storm-it's a metaphor for our financial situation... / BoxJam: I hurt... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020103.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: Right when I wake up, if I try to make a fist, I have no strength to clench it...
/ BoxJam:
/ > Right when I
/ > wake up, if I
/ > try to make a
/ > fist, I have no
/ > strength to
/ > clench it...
/ I've heard that may be a mild form of "sleep paralysis"... / Ms. BoxJam: That's really annoying.
/ BoxJam: Sorry. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020104.html |
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