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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{Pay attention to the date}}
/ BoxJam: Everybody! You've got to come see this! / Ms. BoxJam: What is it?
/ BoxJam: Just come see! / Ms. BoxJam: Wow - that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!
/ BoxJam: I was just taking out the trash and suddenly / [[Only the dialogue in this frame appears. The rest of the comic is blank - cut off.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020401.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Cashier: Let's see... $2.20, $3.99, $1.79, $1.99... / BoxJam: Um...
/ Cashier: ... $2.49, $2.79, & $3.89... What? / BoxJam: Nothing. / Store sign: Everything's a damn dollar!!
/ BoxJam: Sometimes I wonder if people take advantage of me... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020402.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Boxjam rushes into a hospital emergency entrance.]] / Boxjam: How is he?
/ Ms. Boxjam: He was fine all day, then he just collapsed in pain from a sudden headache! / Boxjam (thinking): Sudden headache!? Oh my God, he's got a tumor! Brain tumors always start like that! Oh God please don't let him die!
/ Ms. Boxjam: [[obscured by Boxjam's word bubble]] ctor says it ...onds like a ...raine... you know... migraines, and... bly inherited... at from me... / Boxjam (thinking): Oh he's so brave! We just have to remember, it's not the end of the world - we can beat a brain tumor if we caught it early... oh God!!
/ Ms. Boxjam: [[still obscured]] ...t them when ...m stressed, so ...nk about his... nything too... ul in his life ... ow? - Hello? / Ms. Boxjam: Have you heard a word I've said!? Don't you even care about this!? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020403.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Boxjam: So it's a migraine, huh?
/ Ms. Boxjam: Most likely... the doctor ruled out everything else. / Boxjam: He seems too young to have migraines...
/ Ms. Boxjam: He's eight... that's almost ten... / Boxjam: Gosh, he's almost a teenager - he'll be driving soon!
/ Ms. Boxjam: Driving to college - away from home forever! / Boxjam: No wonder he has a migraine!
/ Ms. Boxjam: He feels like he's being thrown out! / Little Boxjam (thinking): I have a migraine because you're my parents... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020404.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Boxjam (reading): ... looking for the woman with the yellow rose in her lapel. He saw her, and his heart sank, for this woman was well past forty, had chubby ankles, some gray hair, and had a "worn down by life" look... / Boxjam (reading): ... Nevertheless, he thought he could still have a wonderful friendship with this woman, and after all, he had promised to meet her. So he introduced himself, whereupon she said, '"It's not really me you want. That beautiful woman over there had me wear this rose as a test!" / [[A migraine-suffering Little Boxjam ponders the story.]] / Little Boxjam: I guess right about now the frumpy woman started to feel pretty used, huh? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020405.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Boxjam-ina: How you spell "store"? / Boxjam: S-T-O-R-E. / Boxjam-ina: How you spell "dog"?
/ Boxjam: D-O-G. / Boxjam-ina: How you spell "cart"?
/ Boxjam: C-A-R-T. / Boxjam-ina: "House"?
/ Boxjam: H-O-U-S-E.
/ Boxjam-ina: "Ball"?
/ Boxjam: B-A-L-L.
/ Boxjam-ina: "Slide?"
/ Boxjam: F-O-R-T-H-E-L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D-P-L-E-A-S-E-S-T-O-P. / [[Pause.]] / Boxjam-ina: "Car"?
/ Boxjam: C-A-R...
/ Boxjam-ina: "Candy"?
/ Boxjam: C-A-N-D-Y... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020408.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam is giving BoxJam a trash bag with a skull and crossbones symbol on it]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Today we're throwing out some napalm, turpentine, oily rags, tnt, golf ball centres, nitro glycerin and rechargable batteries, so don't put it with the regular trash.
/ BoxJam: Got it. / BoxJam: Hmm... where to toss it? / BoxJam: This random hole should do the trick!
/ [[BoxJam chucks the bag into a well]] / [[BoxJam stands by the well]] / [[BoxJam walks off]]
/ BoxJam: Well, I don't have all day to sit around waiting to hear it hit the bottom! / [[~In Memory of Timmy~]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020409.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is watching TV]] / [[Ms. BoxJam stands behind BoxJam]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: You watching ESPN-4 again?
/ BoxJam: Uh-huh / Ms. BoxJam: Really, how can you watch all these fringe sports?
/ TV: New snake! / [[BoxJam watches TV, Ms. BoxJam stands behind him]] / [[Ms. BoxJam sits on BoxJam's lap, blocking his view]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020410.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to Mallethead]]
/ BoxJam: Mallethead - you've got it all - money, power, charisma... what's holding you back from taking over? / [[Mallethead looks down]] / Mallethead: I have sensitive skin. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020411.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: When I was a kid, the bit of pseudoscience I wanted to be true more than any other was the "Loch Ness Monster"... / BoxJam: Even while Bigfoot enjoyed his most popular days, and "Project UFO" bedazzled the nation, I remained true to Nessie... / BoxJam: Those were salad days for all kinds of pseudoscience, of course..."In Search Of..." was an artistic and commercial
/ success, and, um... [[cardboard cut-out of Ms. BoxJam falls over]] / [[Ms. BoxJam standing with cardboard cut-out of BoxJam]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'm sorry, but your nostalgia sometimes bores me to tears... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020412.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam talking]]
/ BoxJam: Free will is incredible... it differentiates us from just being biological machines... / BoxJam: Watch me move my arm... now, I could also say "watch me move my arm," and not move it...What's the only difference? My will! / BoxJam: No external stimuli creates that difference...now, how do I move my arm? Neurons fire impulses from my brain down to my arm muscles... / BoxJam: How did my brain do that? Chemical triggers - it "released" some chemicals that caused an electrical
/ imbalance... I think... it's been a while since biology... / BoxJam: It's immaterial anyway...there's some biological
/ process that causes it... ah, but what causes that process? maybe it's known, maybe not... / BoxJam: No matter how many processes you can explain, though, you're eventually going to reach a point where you can't go anymore... where you have to bridge the gap from physical back to your will... / BoxJam: Even if it's at the subatomic level, if you accept free will, moving a muscle is a legitimate psychokinetic ability! / [[Ms. BoxJam holds out bag of trash]] / [[BoxJam is walking with bag in hand]]
/ BoxJam: On the other hand, there are some pretty good arguments against free will... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020415.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Whew! Jackhammering is hard work! / Ms. BoxJam: I'd imagine - That thing could shake you to bits! / BoxJam: Yeah - Not to mention dealing with all the disappointed female woodpeckers!
/ Fat trumpet sound: Wah wah wah waaaahhhhhh.... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020416.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam are behind a curtain on a stage]]
/ BoxJam: What!?
/ Little BoxJam: I said I'm not going out there. / BoxJam: You have to go out there and say your poem... it's in the program! the whole show is waiting on you!
/ Little BoxJam: No... / BoxJam: I'll take you out for ice cream after...
/ Little BoxJam: No.
/ BoxJam: Buy you Legos?
/ Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: Get out there and recite, young man!
/ Little BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: Aww... come on!
/ Little BoxJam: No. / [[Ms. BoxJam walks over]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: You are going to go out there and say your poem, or I'm going out there and telling everyone just how much you mean to me, and how I love you to the stars and beyond. / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam stand together alone]]
/ BoxJam: That's why you're the Mommy...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Amateur.
/ Little BoxJam (ofscreen): Dogs are friendly and oh so fun - they fromp around in the warm spring sun... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020417.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is sitting on the floor with a doll, Ms. BoxJam is sitting in a chair reading]] / [[sitting silently]] / BoxJam: If squirrels were constantly given toy squirrels, would they become capable of symbolic thought, perhaps challenging
/ us for domination eventually?
/ Ms. BoxJam: No. / [[sitting silently]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020418.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Box reading: BoxJam in: Sad Funnies]] / [[1. BoxJam walking]] / [[2. Truck speeds past, presumably running BoxJam over]] / [[3. BoxJam is gone]]
/ [[Box reading: End.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020419.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is leaning in through a hole, Ms. BoxJam is sitting reading a book]]
/ BoxJam: I think I've found proof of society's collective conciousness!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Oh, thank God. / BoxJam: Face painting!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Mmm-hmm. / BoxJam: They didn't thave it when we were kids... but
/ then it never really came about... everyone was just
/ all of a sudden like, "oh, yeah. face painting."
/ Ms. BoxJam: fascinating. / BoxJam: I'll say... it makes the mind reel! the collective mind!
/ Ms. BoxJam: I gather the collective mind was how you knew I was hiding in the air shaft? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020422.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam talking to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: I'm gonna have a webtoon event to stop terrorism!
/ Ms. BoxJam: How? / BoxJam: Whaddya mean, "how?" I'll send out announcements, get participants, and we'll all do cartoons
/ about it!
/ Ms. BoxJam: How will that end terrorism? / BoxJam: They have these things all the time - hunger awareness, Shakespeare's birthday...everything!
/ ms boxjam: but how will that stop terrorism? / [[later]]
/ [[BoxJam is at his computer, Ms. BoxJam is standing at the side]]
/ BoxJam: Wow - look at all the traffic! take that, terrorists!
/ Ms. BoxJam: *sigh* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020423.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam is reading the paper on the floor and BoxJam is standing over her, talking to her]]
/ BoxJam: So, since Shakespeare's birthday was yesterday, I've decided to write a Shakespearean play.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Yippee. / BoxJam: So you have to tell me about some Shakespeare plays.
/ Ms. BoxJam: I see. Well, "Hamlet" was about an emotionally slow prince whose father, the king, was murdered by an evil brother... / BoxJam: prince!? I thought he wrote about pirates!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well, Hamlet was a PRINCE, and unsure of himself. Because of his inaction, everybody ends up dead. / BoxJam: "Hamlet II: Breaking Training..."
/ Ms. BoxJam: A-yup http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020424.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is sitting alone on a stone wall outside watching the sun set and is thinking]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): Conciousness - it must exist - I can think about it. I can "hear" myself thinking about it in my mind...but I could write a computer program that insisted the same thing, even though it didn't. Conciousness is an illusion to make the mind feel better. / BoxJam (thinking): Wow. if that's the case, then free will doesn't exist - the brain is an absolutely reactive machine insisting it's
/ making choices...and emotions themselves don't really exist... anger is just the brain insisting it's angry and releasing chemicals... / BoxJam (thinking): I'm not happy...I just feel happy... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020425.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is eating out of a bowl with 'munch munch' noises]] / [[Ms. BoxJam comes up to him]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: You look dazed... / [[Ms. BoxJam starts to walk off]]
/ BoxJam: I'm having a mental block - I can't remember what cereal Mikey wouldn't eat!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Oh... that's life! / [[BoxJam alone, looking angry]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): Well thanks for nothing! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020426.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[a picture of BoxJam done in the style of "Chopping Block" looking sad and holding a bag of trash]]
/ Caption: As BoxJam took out the trash on this evening where spring kissed summer, he contemplated why he felt more tired than invigorated. maybe it was the thirty fresh bodies he'd just buried in the yard. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020429.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walking with a bag of trash]]
/ BoxJam: ...but if self-awareness is an illusion - if part of the brain just sends messages that it's self-aware, who is it sending the messages to? / [[BoxJam puts the bag of trash into a trash can]]
/ BoxJam: Somebody in there is listening to the messages! / [[BoxJam walking back]] / [[BoxJam walking back again with another bag of trash]]
/ BoxJam: Introspection sucks. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020430.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam driving past a pair of smoke stacks with BoxJamina]]
/ BoxJamina: Lookit Bup-spaceships! / BoxJam: Actually, honey, those are smoke stacks- they don't move... / BoxJamina: At daytime they're smoke tacks, after dark time they're space ships! / BoxJam: No. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020501.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam talking]]
/ BoxJam: I had a dream I was on Mars with somebody-can't remember who... / [[BoxJam talks on and on, Ms. BoxJam looks the other way]]
/ BoxJam: That's kind of sad-but the station was like a house! and a light bulb provided enough warmth in it - at one point, I had to go outside to pick up a bunch [obscured by boxjam's head] loves we-
/ I mean [obscured] was there with me [obscured] hanging on a [obscured] I had to [obscured]old my bre[obscured] hurry.
/ It was [obscured] then / Ms. BoxJam: Fine... you don't have to listen to important family news if I don't have to listen to your dreams...
/ BoxJam (thinking): Score! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020502.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is on his computer, Ms. BoxJam is walking past with laundry]]
/ BoxJam: Whoa! there's a web site where you can enter messages to be shown to people in 50,000 years! / Ms. BoxJam: 50,000 years? Will English be readable then? Will digital storage be readable?
/ BoxJam: ...and they claim they're putting it on a satellite which will return unharmed in 50,000 years! The whole thing's ridiculous! / [[BoxJam looks to the left, where Ms. BoxJam disappeared]]
/ BoxJam (typing): Dear future guy, don't laugh at me - one day you'll be dead this long. No, seriously, check out boxjamsdoodle.com ... it's simply drawn, but... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020503.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Prologue: Three years ago~
/ BoxJam: ... My parents had to go into hiding, and I haven't seen them since...
/ Mallethead: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020506.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Oh no! Mallethead's in a coma! It's all because of that amulet! It happened like this: / [[stat of May 6, 2002 strip]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020507.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Hey, gang - I'm having a bit of writer's block, so today, I'm recapping our exciting story, "Lethiferous Subterfuges." Thus far... / BoxJam: Mallethead went into a coma: [[stat of May 6, 2002 strip]] / BoxJam: And then BoxJam recalled how it happened: [[stat of May 7, 2002 strip, including stat of May 6, 2002 strip]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020508.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Mallethead's in a coma and it's all my fault! I need help! / [[A shadowy figure approaches, silhouetted in the foreground.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020509.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is on the floor cradling the head of an unconscious Mallethead in his arms]] / Caption: A mysterious person mysteriously approaches... / Caption: Look, everybody! It's Denouement Brown!*
/ Denouement Brown: It's okay, everyone! The amulet just had four-day sleeping gas, and BoxJam, your parents aren't hiding-they just hate you!
/ Mallethead: Unhh... / [[Denouement Brown laughs]] / *Denouement Brown is a creation of Adam Burke.
/ {{One of my favorite Adam Burke cartoons was an episode of "The Grimbles" featuring "Denouement Brown," a character actor brought in in movies to resolve plots that seemed unresolveable. As of this writing, Burke is doing a comic called "The Splendid Everlasting" at WebcomicsNation.}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020510.html |
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