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BoxJam's Doodle Comics Little BoxJam: I didn't run over it with my bike! / Narrator: The only thing we know for sure about how the flower pot on the stoop got broken is that Little Boxjam didn't run over it with his bike.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990622.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Mrs. BoxJam is a vegatarian. Consequently, so are Little BoxJam and BoxJam-ina. / BoxJam is not. / HOWEVER... BoxJam, using very sophisticated mathematics, can demonstrate that eating anything in the food system displaces as much bio-energy into you as anything else. That is, the total bio-energy you are claiming for yourself means just as much bio-energy can't feed other organisms. So eat them or starve them. / [[BoxJam at chalkboard displaying a simple equation]] / Mrs. BoxJam is not impressed. Something about quality of life, or something. / [[BoxJam gets a pie in the face at chalkboard]] / [[dead BoxJam is thrown off a cliff to hungry sharks]] / Therefore, when it's my turn to go, I'm leaving instructions for Little BoxJam and BoxJamina to feed me to sharks. I'll pay back in bio-energy what I owe in quality of life.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990623.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics So the other day, I'm lifting up the house because Ms. Boxjam thinks she smelled something "funny" under there, and then she's all like, "No, just put the house down. I'll be fine." Man, I hate that.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990624.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Little BoxJam hits puck into goal with hockey stick]] / Little BoxJam: I scored again! C'mon, Bup, get out here! / BoxJam Voiceover: By the time I got my shoes on and my stick out, the score of Little BoxJam and my one-on-one hockey game was 8-0. / [[BoxJam scores a goal]] / Little BoxJam: That didn't count! Offsides! / [[BoxJam scores a goal]] / Little BoxJam: You're standing in the creased! / [[Little BoxJam scores a goal]] / Little BoxJam: Time for a faceoff - Hey I scored again! / [[Little BoxJam scores a goal while BoxJam sits by]] / Little BoxJam: Hey I scored again! Look I scored again! Bup I scored again! / BoxJam Voiceover: Final score: 23-4.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990625.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam Voiceover: One day in 1998 all my parenting biorhythms were soaring, and I was in the parenting zone. / [[BoxJam rocks BoxJamina on a teeter seat with his foot while warming a bottle]] / BoxJam Voiceover: I knew when to make a bottle moments before it was needed. I had stimulating activity ideas to spare. My foot was rocking the teeter-seat without my conscious brain ever getting involved. / [[BoxJam rushes a towel under Little BoxJam's spilling drink while BoxJamina starts to whine]] / BoxJam Voiceover: I could smell when someone was about to start whining. Spills looked like they were happening in slow motion. It all clicked. / BoxJamina: Wh... / [[BoxJam stands triumphant, one foot upon a radio flyer wagon]] / BoxJam Voiceover: There will be thousands of days of parenting; I know that. But for 1 day in 1 household, I was as good as they come. Never let that be forgotten.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990628.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Poems]] / (Untitled) / I stare at BoxJam. / He stares back at me. / It's like a staring contest / that he always wins, because / he's a drawing. / (Untitled) / I am BoxJam. / BoxJam I am. / Do I like black eggs and ham? / Do I like them on a train? / Do I like them in the rain? / Would I, could I, in a house? / Would I, could I, with a mouse? / Sure! / {{author's note: so bad it's embarrassing}}
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990629.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJamina runs shrieking from a giant mouse]] / BoxJamina: AAAH! AAAH! / Caption: Chuck-E-Cheese terrorizing BoxJam-ina.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990630.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is riding in a motorboat/car]] / BoxJam Voiceover: You know what we need? A new song to replace "Route 66." It could be about I-90, and could list how much the tolls are for each state, and average traffic density and could be updated each year with construction information. That would be so great.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990701.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Man, that coffee wore off in a hurry.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990702.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics I guess if I had painted "The Scream," it would look pretty much the same, only I wouldn't be screaming- Just kinda standing there. I mean, MELLOW OUT, guy.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990705.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[A man in a cowboy hat with a drink sits in a Cheers bar. A bottle of Pantene, Mrs. BoxJam looking at a Fudgsicle while BoxJam glares, and the video case of Robin Hood.]] / BoxJam Voiceover: Some things that shouldn't bother me, but they do: 1. "Cheers" bars in airports 2. Guys in cowboy hats in airport. 3. Guys drinking beer in the early morning in airports 4. The fact that the hair-care product line is called "Pantene" 4. The fact that my wife says "fudge-sickle" and "fudgical" 6. The fact that Mel Brooks is still allowed to make movies.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990706.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics SHE PROBABLY WON'T MIND IF I DON'T EMPTY THE DISHWASHER NOW. / [[BoxJam hides in the bushes]] / GOOD. ONLY TWO DOGS. SHE'S NOT SERIOUS.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990707.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam looking at a pitifully empty sandbox]] / 150 POUNDS OF SAND SOUNDED LIKE SUCH A LOT / MEANWHILE, AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE BOXJAM CONTINUES TO AVOID DISHWASHER DUTY
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990708.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and family at the door to a room where several wild animals have taken up residence]] / BoxJam: I was sure I closed that window... / [[BoxJam scaling a cliff]] / Still haven't had to empty the dishwasher!
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990709.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Little BoxJam invented a game called "Water Baseball." It's pretty much like batting practice, but you stand in an inflatable pool, hitting small beach balls. / [[BoxJam in foreign legion]] / BoxJam: You know, sometimes I wonder if I shoulda just emptied the dishwasher.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990712.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks a wheelbarrow of money to a pit]] / [[At the pit, he empties the wheelbarrow into a dragon's mouth]] / Ms. BoxJam: Pay the bills? / BoxJam: Yep.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990713.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and 'Mina sit on a bench]] / [[A woman approaches]] / Woman: Oh, hello, pretty girl! Hi, there! Oh, hi! Hi, there! Hello! Can you wave? Hi! / BoxJam: Can you say 'hi,' Elizabeth? / [[The woman leaves]] / <> / <> / <> / <> / 'Mina: Hi! / [[Second comic - a headstone reads 'BoxJam']] / Headstone (thought balloon): Maybe I shoulda emptied the dishwasher...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990714.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Little BoxJam holds up what looks to be a really soggy forkful of spinach]] / BoxJam Narration: Little BoxJam calls a bite-sized unit of really mushy spinach a "drap," and I have to admit, I kind of know what he means.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990715.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam have radio-control boats pushing against a ball]] / BoxJam Narration: And now, I, BoxJam, give to the world a million-dollar idea: radio-control car soccer. Get two RC-cars and a ball. Figure the rest out. It's a blast. And the scores are about the same as real soccer games! / BoxJam: Move. / Little BoxJam: No, you move. / BoxJam: No, YOU move. / Little BoxJam: No, YOU move. / BoxJam: Just move. / Little BoxJam: YOU just move! / BoxJam: Move.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990716.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam looking dubious as Little BoxJam explains something excitedly]] / BoxJam Narration: Little BoxJam thinks it would be a good idea if I dressed like Sammy Sosa, so they'd let us in and we could play at Wrigley Field.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990719.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam in bed]] / Ms. BoxJam: JFK and Jackie had that one child who died after two days. / BoxJam: Wow, that would be hard. / Ms. BoxJam: Yeah. Remember that family at school that lost a baby after 4 days? / BoxJam: Oh my God, yeah. How could you ever be the same after? / [[BoxJam watches BoxJam-ina sleeping in her crib]] / <>
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990720.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[family in the car]] / Boxjamina: Aaah! Aah! / Little Boxjam: Boxjamina, gimme that! / Boxjamina: Aaah! Aah! / Little Boxjam: That's my toy! / Boxjamina: Aaaahhh!! / Boxjam: Knock it off, both of you! I can't think! / Boxjam: Could you please distract the kids so I can drive!? / Ms. Boxjam: Kum bah yah, my lord, kum bah yah... Kum bah yah, my lord, kum bah yah... / Boxjam: Oh for God's sake...
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990721.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics It's hot, hot, hot.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990722.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics I love bad television.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990723.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Elinor Donahue is so under-appreciated.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990726.html
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is standing amongst things he's collected in storage. A duffel bag has the tag 'O.J.']] / If we get a bigger house, Ms. BoxJam says some of my stuff can come out of storage. She's lying.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990727.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BOXJAM: "MONEY UNLOANED MAKES FOR FRIENDSHIPS UNBROKEN." / MRS. BOXJAM: THAT'S BEAUTIFUL . . . / [[They are revealed to be playing Scrabble.]] / MRS.BOXJAM: . . . BUT 'UNLOANED' STILL ISN'T A WORD. GET IT OFF THE BOARD.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990728.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics Little BoxJam: What if a monkey was driving a bus full of oranges and bananas so fast and youu know what happened? / BoxJam: What? / Little BoxJam: They crashed! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA / BoxJam: Little boxjam is learning to tell jokes.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990729.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[A young BoxJam is shown.]] / BOXJAM: WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOXJAM, I WANDERED THE NEIGHBORHOOD FREELY. / [[Young BoxJam winces in pain.]] / BOXJAM: ONCE I DROPPED A BIG ROCK ON MY TOE THAT MADE MY TOENAIL FALL OFF. ANOTHER TIME A BEE BIT MY TONGUE. / [[Young BoxJam is being wailed on.]] / BOXJAM: AT HOME, MY BIG BROTHER BEAT ME UP A LOT. / [[Current BoxJam stares at us.]] / BOXJAM: I SHOULD BE A BITTER MAN. BUT, YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M JUST TOO TIRED.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990730.html
BoxJam's Doodle Comics I hate Mondays.
http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/19990802.html
 

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