You're browsing the archives of BoxJam's Doodle.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: From whence came this pile of potato chips?
/ BoxJam: Tsk... "Whence" doesn't require "from," as it's already implied. / BoxJam: It follows a pattern, common in Middle English, traces of which are still in our modern language. "Wh-" is the question form of a word; "h-" is "this one"; "th-" is "that one":
/ [[A table shows the following paradigm:]]
/ whence: from what point? / hence: from this point / thence: from that point
/ where: what place? / here: this place / there: that place
/ whither: to what point? / hither: to this point / thither: to that point
/ wherefore: for what reason? / herefore: for this reason / therefore: for that reason
/ wherein: in what? / herein: in this / therein: in that / BoxJam [[sitting by the potato chips]]: So, just as you'd never say "from thence," there's no reason to say "from whence"...
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'm sorry... from now on I'll only say "from" when asking "from which jerk" something emanated... / BoxJam [[munching happily on a chip]]: Which jerk are you talking about?
/ Ms. BoxJam [[pointing at him]]: Hich one. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020805.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam looking at the paper]]
/ BoxJam: Wow - they're selling hominy for 29¢ a can...
/ Ms. BoxJam: We don't eat hominy... / BoxJam: Yeah, but 29¢ a can!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Yes, 29¢ a can...but we won't use it! If they were selling runaway trains for 29¢ a can, would you buy that? / [[BoxJam is nonplussed.]] / [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam in an open-topped runaway train, tearing down a mountain. The car they're in is marked 29¢]]
/ BoxJam/Little BoxJam: WHOOO! WHOOO! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020806.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam walk along, torn and beaten.]]
/ BoxJam: Man, runaway trains are the coolest thing EVER.
/ Little BoxJam: I thought you once said anything could be made cooler with the addition of lava... / [[BoxJam stops in his tracks.]] / [[BoxJam and Little BoxJam tearing down a laval-covered hill in a runaway train.]]
/ BoxJam/Little BoxJam: WHOOO! WHOOO! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020807.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam sits at his computer, hand on mouse.]]
/ Goggle web directory:
/ The Goggle web directory is organized by volunteers who won't ever recognize your new host or url, possibly because your category has no volunteer. / [[BoxJam rests his head on his hand, and continues reading.]]
/ Our patented rankpage system then sorts your outdated link to the bottom, indicating to the category browser that you suck. Incidentally, if you volunteer to be the maintaining volunteer for the category, we'll deny you based on your bias, even though the rank on the page is entirely determined by scripts. Oh, and your outdated url. / BoxJam: *SIGH* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020808.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: The kids are asleep...get out your "Top 10 Things to do Before You Die" list...
/ BoxJam: Is it our annual "Take Stock of Your Life" day already? / Ms. BoxJam: Mine, of course, hasn't changed much since we had kids...of course, that used to be number one...we are saving up for travel...so we're likely to get either "go to India" or even "visit the Holy lands" checked off in the next couple of years if political situations improve...
/ BoxJam: Uh-huh...is there anything you want to replace, even though we haven't done it, because you've thought of something new you want on the list? / Ms. BoxJam: No...I know myself pretty well...the things I have on there are likely to stay until they get done...
/ BoxJam: OK, cool...I guess let's look at mine then... / [[Ms. BoxJam reads over BoxJam's list]] / Ms. BoxJam: This one about "own a minor league baseball team where there's a lake in center field and there's some seats in boats in the lake" is new, isn't it?
/ BoxJam: Yeah - a spot on the list opened up when I did "something cool with lava" on Wednesday... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020809.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{The dialog on this comic changes - there are two versions of each utterance in the first two panels}}
/ BoxJam v1: I've decided to master the art of lucid dreaming!
/ BoxJam v2: Me derided Forester Thibault of Lake Drainee!
/ Ms. BoxJam v1: Is that where you're dreaming, but you know it's a dream?
/ Ms. BoxJam v2: If that were your creamery, what would you incinerate? / BoxJam v1: Exactly! The key is to have failsafe tests I do all the time to determine if I'm awake or asleep!
/ BoxJam v2: Examine this pea in the elephantine nests, Kato. Alas, key lime pie tempts me from anemone studies!
/ Ms. BoxJam v1: They say a good one is to read something, look away, then read it again...
/ Ms. BoxJam v2: Whey lays a poor hormone trail. Soothing, good trays can keep in a hen... / BoxJam: Wait a minute - you just said something different!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well yeah. The readers are asleep... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020812.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. Boxjam watch TV]] / [[BoxJam and Ms. Boxjam watch TV]] / BoxJam: See, the girl's not really a skunk - just a cat with a stripe painted --
/ Ms. BoxJam: GOT IT. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020813.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam in a jail cell]
/ Guard: BoxJam - you have a visitor... / [[BoxJam at the visiting divider]]
/ BoxJam: You came to visit me!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well of course I did - this is entirely unfair! / BoxJam: Wow! Thank you for believing that I didn't commit-
/ Ms. BoxJam: Since you've been in prison, I haven't gotten a single break from the kids! Not one! / BoxJam: Honey, I'm in prison, and...
/ Ms. BoxJam: ...and it's prison. Not a vacation. End of story. / [[BoxJam in his jail cell, with Little BoxJam and 'Mina, both in prison garb]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): This is just weird... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020814.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is watching TV, Ms. BoxJam is standing behind him]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: More talk about airline bankruptcies?
/ BoxJam: Yeah... people are still afraid to fly... / [[Ms. BoxJam is now leaning on the side of the couch as they talk]]
/ BoxJam: People need to fly again! they need to realize a 9/11 couldn't happen again! One of the key elements of 9/11 was that 15 of the 19 hijackers didn't know it was suicide! / BoxJam: Next time, the hijackers would know! One of them would rethink at the last minute! / BoxJam: All you hear from the Middle East is a suicide bomber every few days... what you never hear about is the ones every day who, at the last minute, don't go through with it! / BoxJam: Each day there's not a suicide bomber, we should think, "Somebody walked away today." / [[They look at each other]] / Ms. BoxJam: You're cute when you're undermining terrorist strategy. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020815.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is drawing and Ms. BoxJam is standing beside him]]
/ BoxJam: Have you ever heard the truism that if you ever find your true passion in life, you'll always succeed?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Sure... / BoxJam: It's a total lie.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Is that a shark or a hot dog?
/ BoxJam: No. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020816.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to a riding bird]]
/ BoxJam: hey, there, riding bird...I don't pay enough attention to you... / BoxJam: you guys are pretty cool... always hanging out, ready to give anyone a ride... never judgmental / riding bird (thinking): I thought if I kept avoiding eye contact, he'd go away by now... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020819.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[boxjam is watching tv]]
/ tv: "well, there were two guys,
/ they had good jobs,
/ but they decided to quit and hike...
/ along the appalachian trail!" / [[boxjam looks surprised]]
/ tv: "along the appalacian trail!
/ starring chet daniels...
/ hack mcclure... and charlie
/ the dog as himself... special
/ guest star bebe baxter." / boxjam: wow - something inside me
/ knew the bebe baxter episode
/ was going to air tonight...
/ I have "album next track recall"
/ for along the appalachian trail! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020820.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: You want to ride the "Sucka, I'll kill you dead" coaster?
/ Little BoxJam: Yeah! You get strapped in by your ankles and thrown around into side walls! On the big hill, a machine fires baseballs at you! / BoxJam: That sounds . . . excruciating.
/ Little BoxJam: After that we'll try the "Rip open your rib cage and show you your heart" ride . . . it's got tasers! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020821.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mallethead are at a bar talking]]
/ BoxJam: You know how, once you have a family, every once in a while you end up at the hospital?
/ Mallethead: YEAH. / BoxJam: The way to the hospital is some kind of panic... and you don't know how serious it is until you get there...
/ Mallethead: UH... / BoxJam: No matter what, one of these trips will be the last! This is how it likely will end... I wonder if all these other trips are meant as cosmic rehearsals... / Mallethead: YOU'RE A REAL FREAKING DOWNER SOMETIMES, MAN. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020822.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[boxjam is waiting at the traffic lights in his car]]
/ boxjam thinking: huh. wbmr is still
/ my number one
/ pre-select on my
/ select-o-buttons... / boxjam thinking: that station hasn't been
/ cool in years! they used
/ to not have playlists, but
/ now they're corporate, and
/ the on-air talent still
/ lives in the sixties! / boxjam thinking: still, though... I haven't
/ changed it before now...
/ I bet I had a good reason
/ for not changing the
/ select-o-button... / [[boxjam sits silently at the lights in his car]] / boxjam thinking: this isn't the
/ kind of thing
/ you need to
/ rush into... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020823.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are talking]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: We need somebody to fix the sink.
/ BoxJam: I could give it a shot. / Ms. BoxJam: Don't make me laugh.
/ BoxJam: I don't think I'm capable. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020826.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[boxjam is sitting on the couch watching tv]]
/ tv character 1: what were you two
/ thinking for this room?
/ tv character 2: Well, doug, we'd
/ like to see our neighbours
/ get more light, and have
/ some color, while having
/ a still functional room
/ for their computer and
/ exercise equipment... / tv character 2: well, what we're going
/ to do is a dungeon... we're
/ going to unfixably blacken the
/ walls and ceiling by burning
/ this tar mixture in here for
/ several hours, then we're going
/ to create impressions of where
/ people hung... / boxjam: lately I think
/ "trading spaces" is just
/ toying with us... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020827.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are talking]]
/ BoxJam: everything happens just the way it does.
/ Ms. BoxJam: yet the universe could still be random. / BoxJam: or yet perfectly deterministic.
/ Ms. BoxJam: or yet some of each. / BoxJam: if we conclude "random," then I'm not responsible for the lack of a punchline...
/ Ms. BoxJam: random it is. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020828.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam comes across some quick-sand]]
/ boxjam: omigosh! / [[Ms. BoxJam is standing on the other side of the quick-sand]]
/ boxjam: looks like I'll be delayed getting home, honey! - until I can figre out how to get there! / [[ms boxjam walks around the quick-sand, stands next to boxjam with her arms crossed looking mad]]
/ boxjam: well, great...now I have to figure out how to get both of us across... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020829.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[boxjam is doing a dance]] / [[dancing with arms up]] / [[dancing with arms down]] / [[dancing with arms to the side]] / ms boxjam: other wives have normal
/ husbands who just take
/ the six-pack and say
/ "thank you"... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020830.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[ms boxjam walks up to boxjam]]
/ ms boxjam: there's something
/ I need to tell
/ you... / ms boxjam: I want to thank you
/ for being the father in
/ this family. I know we're
/ insane most of the time,
/ and you have to weather
/ it all... / ms boxjam: your life is infinitely
/ harder for being with us,
/ and I never say this,
/ but I appreciate it. / ms boxjam: frankly, I don't
/ know how you put up
/ with us - we make
/ your life miserable...
/ you can never do
/ anything without us
/ ruining it...
/ boxjam thinking: this has got
/ to be a dream... / [[boxjam wakes up in bed beside a sleeping ms boxjam]]
/ boxjam thinking: damn. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020902.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[ms boxjam and boxjam are talking]]
/ ms boxjam: the trash is
/ full, and it's
/ not going to take
/ itself out...
/ boxjam: I know! we can put
/ on a play and raise
/ money to get the trash
/ out! sure... we've got
/ the old barn... I'll write
/ some music... will you
/ star in it? / [[the family is in a barn, ms boxjam is singing, boxjam is playing the piano, a sign reads "quiet please! rehearsals"]
/ ms boxjam singing: the trash will
/ go out...
/ tomorrow!
/ ms boxjam thinking: I hope we don't
/ have to do this
/ every time the
/ trash is full... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020903.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[boxjam and ms boxjam are standing beside a time machine]]
/ boxjam: well, I built a time
/ machine so I can go back
/ and stop those "red bull
/ energy drink" commercials,
/ but now I'm having second
/ thoughts... time travel usually
/ brings about ironic punishments
/ for those who alter the past...
/ ms boxjam: yeah, but it would
/ be nice to be rid
/ of those commercials... / [[boxjam steps into the machine]]
/ boxjam: okay, then...
/ wish me lu-
/ ms boxjam: I was
/ kidding... / [[boxjam steps out of the machine]]
/ well I'm back!
/ no more red bull
/ ads, and things
/ look pretty normal!
/ ms boxjam: the new
/ national sport
/ is soccer. / boxjam: WAUGHH!!
/ ms boxjam: I got you
/ a pennant. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020904.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[boxjam and little boxjam are walking along talking]]
/ little boxjam: bears are cool...
/ they're big and
/ friendly, and do
/ great in movies... / [[walking]] / boxjam: of course, there's
/ always that whole
/ mauling thing with
/ bears, too...
/ little boxjam: oh, sure... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020905.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam while she is brushing BoxJamina's hair]]
/ BoxJam: If you died, I'd never find another woman...
/ Ms. BoxJam: really? why's that? / [[BoxJamina walks away looking upset]]
/ BoxJam: Well, before that could happen, I'd have to take off my wedding ring, and I realized today that I just can't imagine that.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Oh... that's sweet! / BoxJam (thinking): Not without tons of grease or tinsnips, anyway... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020906.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam looking a tad wild]]
/ BoxJam: Look at my hair! It's excellent! My hair is so much better than anybody else's will ever be! / [[BoxJam goes up to Little BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: My hair is so great, it commands you out of my way! / [[BoxJam goes up to BoxJamina]]
/ BoxJam: My hair rules! Just look at it! Is that not the greatest hair you've ever seen!? / [[Ms. BoxJam stands alone with her children as BoxJam goes running off into the distance]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: That IS good hair...
/ BoxJam: RAAH! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020909.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[ms boxjam and boxjam are talking]]
/ ms boxjam: we have to go to a p.t.a meeting tonight - my mom took the kids.
/ boxjam: your mom has the kids? we could do anything! - I'll take you out to dinner! / ms boxjam: if we don't go to the p.t.a meeting, it means we don't love our kids. / [[boxjam and ms boxjam walk toward the school which has a sign reading "p.t.a. tonight! topic: 'if you don't give us more money, it means you don't
/ love your kids'"]]
/ boxjam: *sigh* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020910.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is mini-golfing with the kids]] / [[BoxJam and the kids at a playground]] / [[BoxJam and the kids with milkshakes]] / [[BoxJam and the kids walk into the house.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: I thought you said you were going to do something special for 9-11...did you forget?
/ BoxJam: Not at all... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020911.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks into a building under a sign that reads "Book, Look and Listen Appreciation Society"]] / [[BoxJam at a podium]]
/ BoxJam: I'd like to discuss our "raison d'etre..." nobody remembers this mid-70's product of Maryland Public Television but us! / [[BoxJam walks from the podium to the one chair, empty.]] / [[BoxJam in the chair, raising hand]]
/ BoxJam: I suggest that maybe that alone justifies our existence - if we don't remember, who will? / [[BoxJam at the podium, speaking to the empty chair]]
/ BoxJam: If we don't remember, what does it matter then? There will be nobody to say, "you should remember this!" Do we even think the show was good? / [[BoxJam in chair, speaking to the empty podium]]
/ BoxJam: Not "good," per se...but it may have been the first show that so quickly had characters not appear, and have, essentially, one-person shows because the other actors simply weren't there! I can't believe we're even having this conversation! / [[BoxJam at podium]]
/ BoxJam: It's a question we must face! I can't be part of a club I'm not sure should exist! / [[BoxJam in chair]]
/ BoxJam: Well, if that's how you feel, why don't you just leave?]] / [[BoxJam returns to the podium to storm off in a huff.]] / [[BoxJam is in the chair.]]
/ BoxJam: He'll be back... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020912.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks up to a book/magazine stand. There is a large roll on a spool at the stand.]] / [[BoxJam pulls off several feet of printed material from the roll.]]
/ << FWIZZZ!! >> / [[BoxJam tears off his scroll from the larger roll.]]
/ Vendor: Book or magazine?
/ BoxJam: Call it a book...
/ Vendor: $5.39 with tax... / [[BoxJam walks up to the 'Wait Here' sign where the Orange Guy stands reading a scroll stamped 'MAGAZINE.']]
/ BoxJam (thinking): Heh...jerk. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20020913.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 >>