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BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is in his boat.]] / Sign: Ferry Ahead / [[He pulls onto a long boat.]] / Sign: Slow / [[He's in a line of boats.]] / Sign: End Ferry / BoxJam (thinking): This doesn't make any sense at all...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam, in his boat, is in a line of cars in a bigger boat.]] / Sign: Pay Here / BoxJam (thinking): A ferry? It just doesn't make any sense! / BoxJam (thinking): Who's running this thing anyway? I don't see anybody! / [[He comes face-to-face with a tiny fairy.]] / Fairy: That'll be a buck-fifty!
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[ms boxjam is handing boxjam a bag of trash]] / boxjam: what if the world was created, and is watched over, by a malevolent god? / [[boxjam is now holding the bag of trash]] / ms boxjam: what? / boxjam: well, the two major camps seem to be benevolent god, and no god...why not consider evil god? / ms boxjam: that's ridiculous... / boxjam: why is a good god more likely than a bad one? it would explain all the bad things that happen... / boxjam: maybe we're created, and given eternal life simply as torture...eternity would eventually be unbearably boring, would it not? / [[ms boxjam looks at boxjam]] / [[ms boxjam walks away looking mad]] / ms boxjam: oh, yee. / boxjam: oh, and beets. it would explain those, too.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Mallethead and BoxJam are walking through the woods when they come across an opening in a rock wall]] / BoxJam: Hey- a small opening to a cave! / [[they bend down and look inside]] / BoxJam: Man... it really opens up in there! / BoxJam: Well, I guess the only time that would be useful is the next time we find ourselves in some sort of post-apocalyptic, hellish survival-is-all-there-is world! / [[BoxJam and Mallethead laugh]] / [[BoxJam writes it down on a piece of paper as Mallethead walks away]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are sitting on chairs in silence. Ms. BoxJam is reading]] / BoxJam: First of all, I can only think of one other song about rainbows at all, never mind what's on the other side...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is coaching his kid's soccer team]] / BoxJam: OK, gang, let's go out there and play hard! / Kid: Coach - you forgot to do the team cheer! / BoxJam: Oh yeah... we'll give it our all! Which way will we kick the ball? / Kids: That way! That way! Yay! / [[They point in two different directions]] / [[Kids run off shouting]] / Kids: RAHH!! / BoxJam (thinking): At least they only pointed in two different directions this time...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is walking toward the door]] / [[BoxJam starts to go through the door but an alarm sounds]] / [[BoxJam walks back, looking angry]] / [[BoxJam comes back and walks through the door, looking angry, with a bag of trash. The alarm doesn't sound]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is walking behind Ms. BoxJam]] / Ms. BoxJam: Quit following me around... I'm in a bad mood... / BoxJam: But I'm bored and I can't find Mallethead or Hudson to play with... / Ms. BoxJam: Your uppance could be described as "coming"...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is walking. He encounters a poster with the ubiquitous smiley face; the caption "SMILE" labels the bottom. The only thing missing is the actual smile to connect the two lines at the ends.]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[ BoxJam and his family appear to be floating in space. BoxJam is holding onto an asteroid. Ms. BoxJam is holding on to a second asteroid. Mina and Little BoxJam are floating on a third. BoxJam is looking down. ]] / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are now looking at each other]] / BoxJam: I can explain... / Ms. BoxJam: Don't bother...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is walking along. He has dark sunglasses on]] / BoxJam:These are the best sunglasses I've ever had! / [[BoxJam is talking to Mrs Boxjam]] / BoxJam:Check out my new sunglasses! / Ms. BoxJam: They're nice... / [[BoxJam is walking away from Ms. BoxJam. Ms. BoxJam is looking back towards him]] / BoxJam:You're tellin' me! / [[BoxJam is standing there]] / BoxJam: It's too bad I don't wear sunglasses...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is talking to Ms. BoxJam. She is holding a bag of garabage]] / Ms. BoxJam: The Touchstones are getting a nice new car, an addition on their house, and he's building a deck off their kitchen... / [[BoxJam is now holding the bag of garbage]] / Ms. BoxJam: Our bathroom is rotting, You broke a window trying to open it and our car's in the shop... / Ms. BoxJam: Why don't you seem to smile much anymore?
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks in the door and Ms. BoxJam greets him]] / BoxJam: I'm home! What's for dinner? / Ms. BoxJam: Pizza burgers, tater tots, and sliced peaches in heavy syrup... / [[BoxJam looks at Ms. BoxJam]] / BoxJam: That "School Lunchlady Cookbook" still has a few surprises, I see... / Ms. BoxJam: You betcha...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[sign reads "The Day the Giant Spider Pirate Showed up"]] / [[BoxJam is talking to the spider pirate]] / BoxJam: And I expect to see every one of those hapless mariner carcasses cleaned up - and the silk - before the TV / gets turned on tonight! Are we clear? / Spider Pirate: Aye, BJ... aye... / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam looking at the spider pirate walk off]] / BoxJam: When I was a giant spider pirate, we didn't carry on like that... / Ms. BoxJam: You were never a giant spider pirate, dear... / BoxJam: Well, I guess the kid's alright, then...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is walking while holding a tiny bag of garabage]] / [[BoxJam place the tiny bag of garbage into a normal sized trashcan]] / [[BoxJam is walking back, looking out at us]] / BoxJam: From 'Mina's dollhouse...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks through the door and Ms. BoxJam is waiting for him]] / Ms. BoxJam: Where have you been? All you had to do was take 'Mina to preschool! / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam walking]] / BoxJam: Well, there's this crossing guard on the way there who I always wave to... / BoxJam: Two days ago he didn't wave back when I waved... / BoxJam: Then yesterday I waved and he didn't wave back again! / [[BoxJam looks down and Ms. BoxJam looks at him]] / Ms. BoxJam: You drove three miles out of your way so you wouldn't have to see him today, didn't you? / BoxJam: Yeah...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are having a walk in the park, there are some people playing with a ball in the background]] / BoxJam: So then I took out the trash again / Ms. BoxJam: ...and there was more trash waiting for you back in the house! / BoxJam: Yeah... / BoxJam: You ever feel like we're the half-drawn characters in the background of some actually interesting strip over there?
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is in bed awake at night]] / BoxJam (thinking): Hey... I'm briefly awake in the middle of the night... / BoxJam (thinking): Hey! In waking up, I can enjoy the sweetness of flipping my pillow to the cool side! / BoxJam (thinking): Whoa, mama...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks up to Ms. BoxJam looking upset]] / BoxJam: Duckpin bowling is dying. Nobody makes the equipment anymore, and the remaining lanes are slowly closing... / Ms. BoxJam: Have you ever been duckpin bow- / [[BoxJam interrupts her looking very upset]] / BoxJam: That is hardly the point!
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is standing behind Ms. BoxJam. She has her arms crossed and is obviously angry. BoxJam is looking at her]] / [[BoxJam looks away]] / [[BoxJam looks at her]] / BoxJam: I didn't mean to get my phat groove on... / Ms. BoxJam: I don't want to talk about it...
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks up to Ms. BoxJam]] / BoxJam: Hey - have you seen those kids that live upstairs? / Ms. BoxJam: I think they're outside... / BoxJam: Outside? What would they be doing out there? / Ms. BoxJam: I couldn't begin to guess... playing maybe? / BoxJam (thinking): Heh... kids love that playing...
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks past a sign that says "Go This Way"]] / [[He walks down stairs following a sign that says "Down Here"]] / [[He now goes in the direction of a sign that says "This Way Again"]] / [[He comes upon the "Wait Here" sign]] / [[He stands next to the Orange Guy at the "Wait Here" sign]] / BoxJam (thinking): Jerk. / [[He waits with the Orange Guy at the "Wait Here" sign]] / [[He waits with the Orange Guy at the "Wait Here" sign]] / [[He waits with the Orange Guy at the "Wait Here" sign]] / [[He waits with the Orange Guy at the "Wait Here" sign]] / [[He waits with the Orange Guy at the "Wait Here" sign]]
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks up to Ms. BoxJam]] / BoxJam: I want you to know that I realize that life goes fast, and that the sun doesn't go down; it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round... / Ms. BoxJam: Do you realize that taking a pop song's advice literally doesn't cause anything especially noteworthy to happen? / BoxJam: I hadn't, no.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[Ms. BoxJam and the kids are doing the hokey pokey when BoxJam comes up to them]] / BoxJam: *sigh* Sometimes I just don't know... sometimes I think I don't even know what the hokey-pokey is about... / BoxJam yelling: Isn't there anyone who can tell me what the hokey-pokey is all about!? / Little BoxJam: Sure, Bup... I can tell you what the hokey-pokey's all about... / [[Little BoxJam walks away]] / Little BoxJam: Lights, please... / [[Little BoxJam is in a spotlight on a stage]] / Little BoxJam: You put your left foot in; you take your left foot out. You put your left foot in, and you shake it all about. You do the hokey-pokey, and you turn yourself around. / [[Little BoxJam walks back to his family]] / Little BoxJam: That's what it's all about, Bup... / BoxJam: Wow- suddenly I don't feel so bad about- / Ms. BoxJam (interrupting): You blockhead.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: Whenever I whistle "Bewitched" I can't remember how "I Dream of Jeannie" Goes!
 
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is helping Little BoxJam with his math]] / Little BoxJam (writing): 724 - 237 = 497 / BoxJam: No, if you borrowed 10 so you could subtract 7 from 4, then you don't have 2 anymore in the tens column... / [[Little BoxJam crosses out 497 and writes 496]] / BoxJam: What? No...OK, you probably got confused when I said "borrow"...that's what they called it when I was a kid... It's the tens column you need to look at! / [[Little BoxJam crosses out 496 and writes 507]] / BoxJam: No! Don't just keep changing numbers until I say it's right! I want you to understand this, so think about it! / [[Little BoxJam, looking very angry, crosses out 507 and writes 506]] / BoxJam: No! Listen! 14-7 *is* 7. But if there's only 1 left in the tens, then you need to get a hundred from the hundreds so you can do 10 minus 30... / [[Little BoxJam is looking very angry and violently crosses out 506 and writes 307]] / BoxJam (looking upset): 487. The answer is 487. / [[BoxJam is left alone standing by the math looking upset]] / BoxJam: I thought we really bonded there... what do you think?
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam walks up to BoxJamina while she is drawing]] / BoxJam: 'Mina, have you seen Hudson? / BoxJamina: Who? / BoxJam: Hudson! You know- the purple, armless guy you drew because that's how you draw people! / [[BoxJamina hands BoxJam her drawing]] / [[BoxJam looks at the drawing and it is a red man, drawn with a head, a body, legs and arms]] / BoxJam: *gasp* You can't draw people like this! Draw them suckier!
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam runs up to Ms. BoxJam looking very upset]] / BoxJam: 'Mina's drawing people with bodies and arms and I / can't find Hudson! / Ms. BoxJam: What? Who? / BoxJam: Hudson! The scribbly armless thing that came to life because 'Mina drew him with a purple crayon only she doesn't draw like that now and I can't find him! / Ms. BoxJam: He was always wishing he didn't exist, right? / BoxJam: Yes, that's the guy. You seen him? / Ms. BoxJam: Uh, no.
BoxJam's Doodle Comics BoxJam: HUDSON! / [[He looks around.]] / [[He walks off.]] / [[He goes to Little BoxJam and 'Mina, who are playing a game.]] / BoxJam: Kids, Hudson...has gone to live on a farm, where he can run and play all the time... / [[BoxJam walks off, considering a purple crayon.]] / Little BoxJam: Did our dog die? / 'Mina: We got dog!?
BoxJam's Doodle Comics [[BoxJam is sitting on the floor when Ms. BoxJam comes up to him]] / Ms. BoxJam: I'm sorry about Hudson, but remember... he didn't want to exist! / BoxJam: Yeah, I'm trying to remember that...still, I wonder what the point was... / BoxJam: Why was I, who fear non-existence and the ultimate victory of entropy, who fights for the posterity of the obscure, witness to this ephemeral phenomenon? / BoxJam: Why am I, who would preserve all, so often faced with aiding entropy along in her course? / Ms. BoxJam: Now you're overstating things...you can't think like that... get back into your routine and put this out of your mind... / [[BoxJam walks off with a bag of trash]]
 

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