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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam look at the kids in bed.]]
/ Caption (in verse): Each year 'round this time (this Monday right now), / when it's kind of cold and the last leaves have fallen, / comes the night the kids go to bed early, / awaiting a visit from jolly Slip-Sollen. / [[A man with pointy-ears and wearing a hat like Mercury slips in the window.]]
/ Caption (in verse): He jimmies a window, / slips in without sound, / steps carefully over the lamp cord, / and begins making his rounds. / [[Slip Sollen stands back to the wall by the slightly-ajar door to a darkened room.]]
/ Caption (in verse): To each child's room he sidles most deftly, / while taking great pains to make not a noise, / and takes 27, um, 28 cents from his...fanny pack, / and leaves it on night stands of good girls and boys. / [[Slip Sollen, by the bed, slaps his forehead and quickly makes a balloon animal.]]
/ Caption (in verse): Then he tiptoes away, / and, um, no, before he leaves, / makes balloon animals for each child he spies, / and ties it to their...pajama top sleeves. / Caption (new paragraph): Yes, their SLEEVES. Does ol' Slip-Pollen-ImeanSOLLEN. / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam enjoying a quiet dinner with a bottle of wine.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: How'd you get the kids to bed so early?
/ BoxJam: Magic. Oh, do we have any balloons? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021209.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam wear one large dual-compartment muumuu, back-to-back.]] / [[BoxJam leans forward.]] / [[The reaction makes them both jiggle.]] / [[They slowly stop jiggling.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Knock it off. / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam wear one large dual-compartment muumuu, back-to-back.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021210.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Little BoxJam sits in a chair on scaffolding, above BoxJam and Mallethead.]]
/ Inset Box: Canadian Telepathy Races / [[Little BoxJam points at Mallethead]]
/ Little BoxJam: One/un! / [[BoxJam and Mallethead are both concentrating harder, and sweat begins to fly off them.]] / [[They think even harder. Little BoxJam points at BoxJam.]]
/ Little BoxJam: Two/deux! / [[They are now concentrating painfully hard.]] / [[Little BoxJam points at BoxJam as Mallethead's head explodes.]]
/ Little BoxJam: Tripping! Le tripping!
/ << BANFF! >> http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021211.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is on a chair with his children on his knees, looking upset]]
/ BoxJam: So, remember how your friend Taylor's dad was very sick? Well, I'm afraid he died. / Little BoxJam: Does that mean Taylor will be out of school for a while?
/ BoxJam: Yes, it does. / Little BoxJam: Does Taylor have to go to the graveyard?
/ BoxJam: No...
/ Little BoxJam: Will his dad be in the sky, like "The Lion King"?
/ BoxJam: I don't know... / 'Mina: Is Taylor's dad coming over today? / BoxJam: No.
/ 'Mina: Why not?
/ BoxJam: He died.
/ 'Mina: Oh, man... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021212.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam in the family boat.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Christmas is coming up, and Taylor's dad won't be around to see it...
/ BoxJam: Yeah...I was just thinking about that today... / [[3 panels of them boating silently.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021213.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: So Taylor's dad died...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Yeah... / [[silence]] / BoxJam: I'm still not really down with this whole "death" thing... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021216.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Alright, death sucks, but I guess I can accept it...
/ Ms. BoxJam: That's good, because everybody else is going to accept it... / BoxJam: That's true, isn't it? Someday everyone in the world will be okay with the fact that I'm dead. But you know what? I accept that.
/ Ms. BoxJam: You know what else? Someday everybody in the world will be okay with your children being dead... / BoxJam: OK, death and I are on the outs again... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021217.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A young woman kneels and addresses a group of kids, including Little BoxJam and 'Mina.]]
/ Young Woman: OK, gang, before we get started on the play equipment, let's go over some things...no climbing on top of each other, no grabbing, no pushing... / Young Woman: If anyone gets hurt, I'll call your mom and dad--
/ Boy: I don't have a dad! / Young Woman: Oh! Well, um, I mean, OK...that's, um... / [['Mina raises her hand.]]
/ 'Mina: He died! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021218.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks up to a table, on which a glass with water is leaning diagonally against a stack of books.]] / [[He examines them closely. The water level is parallel to the top of the glass, not to the horizon. (books: The Compleat Soap on a Rope, Chopping Block by Lee Adam Herold, and ???]] / [[BoxJam, the table, books and glass now go sliding off in the direction of the new horizon, which has also tilted.]] / {{Someone complained with this comic that I had it wrong - I should have had everything fall perpendicular to the water level, because of the center of gravity being perpendicular to the water level. I'm not sure how to argue what the proper result is in intentionally bad physics.}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021219.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: She thinks it's a fungal infection... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021220.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Flower: Have you ever thought about getting a vacation property as an investment?
/ Pot: You know, not really... since I'm a cheap galvanized pot... / Flower: Do you know how we got like this?
/ Pot: I think maybe your Mom is Endora... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021223.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: "... and then Santa disappeared with a touch to his nose." Good night, and merry Christmas.
/ Little BoxJam: Bup? / BoxJam: Yeah?
/ Little BoxJam: Where did Santa Claus get his powers? / BoxJam: He was bitten by a radioactive elf. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021224.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam family kneeling in prayer]]
/ Offscreen voice: ...any other intentions we will pray for, which our congregation will share now... / Offscreen voice: Tersei Sparke
/ Offscreen voice: Cairon Drembow
/ BoxJam: Raynor Pite / [['Mina raises her hand]]
/ 'Mina: He died! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021225.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Some kings with a camel are hiding behind a wall, watching shepherds, an angel, Mary and Joseph and the Baby Jesus]]
/ King: On my mark, everybody... / [[the kings and camel charge at the holy group]]
/ King: Attack! / [[BoxJam is watching BoxJamina and Little BoxJam play with the figures from a Nativity Scene; they are making them fight]]
/ BoxJam: *Sigh* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021226.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam comes up to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: I did not see a fox, my dear...
/ Ms. BoxJam: But there was a fox! He was near here! / BoxJam: I did not see a fox go past; when you said 'fox' I came out fast. In our yard you saw me walk...
/ Ms. BoxJam: What is with the way we talk? / [[a fox wearing a big red hat thinks "idiots."]]
/ {{If I may say so, a very decent rendition of a Dr. Seuss-style fox}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021227.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam comes upon Ms. BoxJam, who is on the computer]]
/ BoxJam: Whatcha doing?
/ Ms. BoxJam: I found a site called "Missed Chances"... / Ms. BoxJam: It's supposed to be therapeutic...people write messages to people they'll never see again...apparently, though, some people have been going there looking for messages to them! Talk about vain! / [[Ms. BoxJam, alone, still on the computer]] / [[At night, BoxJam is alone on the computer]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021230.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[New Years Eve - The BoxJam family is gathered watching BoxJam lower a suspended bag of trash marked '2003' into a waiting trash can.]]
/ Announcer: 10...9...8...7...6... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20021231.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [little BoxJam standing in front of standing poster of bird, BoxJam and Mrs. BoxJam sitting together in front of him]
/ Little BoxJam: My report on Birds of the Seas. / Little BoxJam: Sea Gulls don't really explode if you feed them alka-seltzer. Cormorants used to have rings around their necks so they couldn't swallow fish. / Little BoxJam: Although parrots can live longer than humans, puffins' toes can live even longer--even 65 or 70 years. The end. / Little BoxJam: What do you think?
/ BoxJam: For some reason, I'm afraid to move...
/ Mrs. BoxJam: What about the cormorants again? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030101.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks up to Ms. BoxJam, wearing a tie]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Oh, good...you're ready to go... / [[BoxJam's tie ignites] / [[It bursts into full flame]] / [[the tie is now smoldering]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Fortunately, we know enough now to allow extra time for one of your tie fires... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030102.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam wears a welders' mask, holding a torch up to a metal structure]] / [[Ms. BoxJam approaches]]
/ BoxJam: This is going VERY slowly...
/ Ms. BoxJam: You haven't turned the flame on! / BoxJam: Oh... / BoxJam: I thought the flame was just blue! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030103.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam holds a bag of trash for BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: Hey! I've got a great new idea for a TV show!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Can we please have one garbage exchange without an unrelated, uninteresting discussion? / [[BoxJam takes the trash]]
/ BoxJam: It's about a pet psychic who solves crimes!
/ Ms. BoxJam: You're drinking... / [[silence]] / BoxJam: Her sidekick is a supernatural dog named "Dog Angel"! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030106.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[a pet psychic is held at gunpoint]]
/ Pet Psychic: I know all about your scheme, thanks to your cat Fritzy!
/ Gun-wielding Thug: It doesn't matter now, Pet Psychic! Prepare to do your readings on the other side! / [[A haloed-dog comes through a hole to another dimension. The stunned thug drops the gun]]
/ Pet Psychic: Good to see you, Dog Angel! Good boy!
/ Thug: Magic Dog! AHHHH! / [[BoxJam sitting up in bed, talking to his supine wife]]
/ BoxJam: ...See, and then the chief of police, who's a skeptic, wonders how she does it...
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'M ASLEEP! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030107.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[The BoxJam family walks through a parking lot outside a stadium. BoxJam is angry.]] / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030108.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is sitting up in bed - his wife is lying down.]] / BoxJam: You awake? Will you do me a favor? / BoxJam: I can't sleep...will you lie to me and tell me everything's alright? / Ms. BoxJam: The whole world is fed...nobody is at war...nod kids are being abused right now...deep down, we all have some good...everything's alright. / [[BoxJam s lying down]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): I was talking about me not paying the gas bill, but that was a damn good lie! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030109.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: I was just thinking about your hat - it's amazing.
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well, thanks. It's kind of funky, isn't it? / BoxJam: Since your hat is the greatest thing in the world, I have written a poem about it on this scroll...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Look, really, it's just a hat... / BoxJam: 'Just a hat!?' That hat is the largest thing we own!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Do you want me to wear the hat? / [[Ms. BoxJam wears a hat much bigger than either BoxJam or his wife]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): I really like that hat... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030110.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam are dressed in stereotypical Bavarian clothes]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Traeshenchore is gut. / BoxJam (taking trash): Ja. / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030113.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks up to Ms. BoxJam, who has a paper and a pen]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Please sign this document stating that you're always to blame... / BoxJam: Will you take care of the necessary filling? After all, I'd
/ probably screw it up...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Agreed. Already got it covered... / BoxJam: Marriage is suprisingly like all the bad comedy about marriage... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030114.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Little BoxJam is reading a book.]]
/ Book: After a harrowing trip to the site of its birth, the salmon spawns, and then awaits its demise...
/ Little BoxJam: Bup...what does "harrowing" mean?
/ BoxJam: Figure it out from context! / Little BoxJam: Huh?
/ BoxJam: See if you can figure it out by the words around it! / Little BoxJam (thinking): "harrowing" = "stupid" "site" = "stupid place" "spawn" = "do something stupid" "demise" = "stupid parents" http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030115.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam closes a cellar door over the family.]]
/ BoxJam: OK...now we sit tight until it blows over!
/ 'Mina: My blankie! / BoxJam: Honey, I'm sure your blanket will be fine...we'll get it after all the tornadoes have blown through...
/ 'Mina: Need my blankie now! / BoxJam: But honey, el niņo is causing a line of 200 tornadoes to blow through our yard...
/ 'Mina NEEDITNOW NEEDITNOW NEEDITNOW NEEDITNOWNEEDITNOWNEEDITNOWNEEDI / [[BoxJam leans hard into the wind, towing a bag of trash with him.]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): Well, they are only 175 mile per hour winds...and it is on the way when I take the trash out... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030116.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks up to an angry Little BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: Hey, bud...what's the matter?
/ Little BoxJam: Mommy won't let me keep a German Shepherd that followed me home... / BoxJam: Well, I'm sorry...but you know we're not ready for a dog!
/ Little BoxJam: Who said anything about a dog? / [[Wide scene. To the side stands a German shepherd, holding a sheep crook.]]
/ German Shepherd: Wie gehts? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030117.html |
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