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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam holds up a loaf of bread.]]
/ BoxJam: Bread! / Ms. BoxJam [[pointing]]: You've got bread!
/ BoxJam: Yes I do! / Ms. BoxJam: It's the staff of life!
/ BoxJam: So it is! / Ms. BoxJam: On the other hand, man does not live by bread alone!
/ BoxJam: Nope! Consider, however, the modifier 'alone' - implies bread is necessary! / Ms. BoxJam: But not sufficient!
/ BoxJam: Quite so! / [[The loaf, alone]]
/ Bread. It's necessary, but not sufficient. / Ms. BoxJam: Maybe with soy cheese!
/ BoxJam: Could be! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030120.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam sitting at a computer]] / Computer modem: <<*Dial toooone* *Tweet tweet* *Click* *Hmmmmm* *Fuzzzz* *Whistle**Click*>> / Computer: Welcome! You've got krill! / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030121.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: You look beat... / BoxJam: Let's just say I was "up late" "playing" "video games" / Ms. BoxJam: You're an "idiot"... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030122.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam is on the phone.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: No, he's not available... / Ms. BoxJam: He's, umm...just busy. No, I can't explain what...he just is... / [[BoxJam with a guitar behind a closed door in a dark room.]]
/ BoxJam: Hello Cleveland! You ready to rock!? (singing) Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a routine expedition...Met the grea-No, crud...
/ [[musical notation shows the chords BoxJam was playing, with the questioned B-flat right over "grea-no, crud" - the chords are F (over MARshall), Bflat (over ROUtine), F (over expeDItion), and Bflat?]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030123.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[a CEO addressing an audience]]
/ CEO: ...and so, fellow employees, I'm sorry to tell you I have to let you all go. Thank you for your service. / [[BoxJam talking to Ms. BoxJam]]
/ BoxJam: YOU WHAT!?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Decided we'd stop buying junk food for a while. It's not the end of the world... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030124.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam holds a propellor.]]
/ BoxJam: When I was really little, a Sunday school teacher told us God was everywhere - even in her hat...I thought God looked like her hat!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Lots of kids have funny misconceptions about God... / [[Reveal an altar with a hat, candles, kneeling pillow and portrait of BoxJam praising]]
/ BoxJam: Do you think the shrine was too much?
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'm more worried about that sect you started that still has a hold in Eastern Europe... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030127.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Didja hear the Touchstones have a new titanium auto-correcting can with a graphite lid and programmable retracting wheels?
/ Ms. BoxJam: No. / BoxJam: Oh. / BoxJam: 'Cause they do! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030128.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam in bed. Ms. BoxJam is reading.]]
/ [[silence]] / BoxJam: You know how when you go to the doctor, they drain that fluid out of your head? / [[silence]] / BoxJam: What do they do with it? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030129.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam with Mallethead]]
/ BoxJam: Where do you see yourself in five years? / [[Ms. BoxJam comes running through]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: WILDFIRE! OH WILDFIRE! HERE, WILDFIRE! / Mallethead: I DUNNO...HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030130.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Man, you have the life...
/ Ms. BoxJam: No, you have the life... / BoxJam: I wish I were you...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well, I wish I were you... / [[They switch bodies.]] / [[beat.]] / BoxJam: Oh, yeah, this does suck. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030131.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mallethead at the bar]]
/ Mallethead: SO...HOW MANY?
/ BoxJam: Well, ah...you know... ...it depends... / Mallethead: DEPENDS ON WHAT? / BoxJam: Grover Cleveland...
/ Mallethead: GROVER CLEVELAND!? HOW COULD "IT" DEPEND ON THAT!? / BoxJam: Would you count his presidencies as one or two? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030203.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam on a cloud with a God-like bearded figure. They are looking down]]
/ BoxJam: I can't believe I'm about to be born!
/ GLBF: It's a pretty exciting time...your name will be 'BoxJam'... / BoxJam: 'BoxJam'...an interesting name... / BoxJam: 'BoxJam'...I like that...the name inspires greatness!
/ GLBF: HA HA HA HA HA / BoxJam: What?
/ GLBF: Nothing...I just...uh...thought of something that happened this morning... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030204.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mallethead at the bar]] / BoxJam: Marge or Leela?
/ Mallethead: WHAT THE HECK'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? SHEESH! / [[Mallethead looks askance.]] / Mallethead: MARGE! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030205.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks by a storefront.]]
/ Sign in Store Window: NEW! Infrared Digital Cameras! Check these out! / BoxJam: I've always wondered how they infrare a camera... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030206.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is holding a bag of trash.]]
/ BoxJam: After I remove this refuse, I'm going to safely operate the car to obtain groceries!
/ Ms. BoxJam: That sounds foolproof! / [[Chickens attack BoxJam.]]
/ BoxJam: WAUGHHH!
/ Chickens: Brawk! Brawk! / Title Card: Chickens. They're more dangerous than you think. National Chicken Council. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030207.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam, on the back of a large fish, rides through a pretty underground scene.]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): It's beautiful down here...why don't I need to breathe?
/ Fish (thinking): I'm supplying you with oxygen.]] / BoxJam (thinking): Is it just me, or are other fish avoiding you?
/ Fish (thinking): They know I'm going to suck out your organs and lay eggs in your carcass... / Title Card: Giant Empathic Seduction Fish. They're more dangerous than you think. Giant Empathic Seduction Fish Council. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030210.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Some wood shavings fall to the floor.]] / [[More do. The beginning of BoxJam's head comes through the hole where the shavings have fallen.]] / [[His head and shoulders are through - he's facing a different direction - he's screwing his way through.]] / [[BoxJam gets a foot out.]] / [[He stands up out of the hole and dusts off.]] / [[He sees the rest of the family on this side of the wall and looks puzzled.]]
/ BoxJam: ? / [[Behind the hole BoxJam screwed through is an open door.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030211.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam approach each other pulling wagons full of something.]] / [[They give their wagons to each other.]] / [[They kiss.]] / [[Caption: Happy Potato Chip Wagon Day! Hope yours was crisp and lovely!]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030212.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A wolf stands outside a house made of straw, with a pig at the window.]]
/ Caption: "So the wolf said to the piggy in the house of straw, let me in!" / [[A pig in overalls sits watching TV with a beer in his hand]]
/ Caption: "When he refused, the wolf blew the house in, and the piggy, who'd always been a whiner and underachiever, ran back home, quit his job and mooched off his parents." / [[An old woman has 'Mina in her lap and is reading her a story.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: How much longer is your mom here?
/ BoxJam: At least this time she didn't turn the "huffing and puffing" line into an anti-drug message... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030213.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks past a business corner. On one "side" of the corner is a window to a business, on the other "side" is a door into a pizza shop.]]
/ Window Sign One: Frarming & Stoomp C.P.A.
/ Window Sign Two: One-Stop PIZZA / BoxJam: Wait - that was utterly impossible! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030214.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam hands BoxJam a bag of trash.]]
/ BoxJam: I suppose you want me to take this out to the trash kan...
/ Ms. BoxJam: "Kan?" / BoxJam: Right - that spelling is my way of throwing off the shackles of oppression!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Way to stick it to "the man"... / BoxJam: Yeah! ...but I'm spelling that "the myn"...
/ Ms. BoxJam: You go, grrl... / {{I was kind of surprised nobody sent me any hate mail for this one.}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030217.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is holding a trash can. It sparkles. He shows it to Ms. BoxJam.]]
/ BoxJam:: Look! I got the new trash can!
/ Ms. BoxJam:: Great! / [[BoxJam puts it down, and stands admiring it, arms akimbo.]]
/ BoxJam: She'll do thirty gallons, and her lid is carbon-steel alloy that can withstand being run over!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Great. / [[BoxJam squats down closer to the trash can, which continues to sparkle.]]
/ BoxJam: She's got Wind-Whipper (tm) Striations to help her stay fast and true in any storm.
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'm walking away now... / [[BoxJam lies on the ground and props his head up with hands, still admiring the trash can.]]
/ BoxJam: And she doesn't have any payments for twelve months!
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'm coming back now... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030218.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | 'Mina: I got a scab on my knee!
/ BoxJam: Oh...um, I'm sorry, honey... / 'Mina: Yeah but it's my first one!
/ BoxJam: Yes, well...I'm sorry... / [[BoxJam experiences a moment of understanding.]] / BoxJam: There's no "knee scab fairy," 'Mina...
/ 'Mina: Dag... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030219.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam is asleep and rolled over facing away from BoxJam, and BoxJam is sitting up in bed reading.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Stop snoring.
/ BoxJam: Huh? I'm not even asleep... / Ms. BoxJam: You were asleep, and loud as all get out. Stop it.
/ BoxJam: I fell asleep reading? I don't feel like I was asleep... / [[Ms. BoxJam looks at BoxJam.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: There you go again! Please stop snoring!
/ BoxJam: But how could I be - oh, never mind. / [[Ms. BoxJam rolls back over. BoxJam gets out of bed.]] / [[Their boat.]] / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030220.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Oh no! I've finished my snack, and now I have this icky wrapper! Whatever shall I do?
/ I... I don't know, lambchop! / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030221.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam turns a corner to find Ms. BoxJam advising her children.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Remember, kids - If you spot Bup, don't use the chloroform indiscriminately... just enough to incapacitate him for a minute! / [[BoxJam withdraws behind the corner of the wall, while Ms. BoxJam continues.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Now... let's spread out and find him! / [[Little BoxJam and BoxJamina chase their father holding chloroform-soaked rags.]] / [[As BoxJam runs up stairs, Little BoxJam runs up stairs that go the opposite direction.]] / [[Traditional Scooby-Doo chase scene with the hallway of doors, BoxJam and BoxJamina are running.]] / [[Now the doors are everywhere, different sizes. BoxJam, BoxJamina, and Little BoxJam run to different doors.]] / [[BoxJamina standing on the shoulders of Little BoxJam stop BoxJam in his tracks. The chloroform fumes enter his nose.]]
/ BoxJam: OK... You got me! I...~ / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030224.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Hey-who was George Washington?
/ Little BoxJam: A big freak... / BoxJam: A big freak in a...
/ Little BoxJam: A big freak in a tri-cornered hat and a wig and false teeth made from elephant who married a freaky old bag... / BoxJam: But he...
/ Little BoxJam: ...but he won a war for independence and turned in his commission rather than making himself dictator for life, making him a super freak... / BoxJam: He's a super freak!
/ Little BoxJam: He's super freaky... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030225.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam zips down a dinosaur tail]] / [[He launches off the end.]] / [[He is heading for his boat.]] / [[He lands hard in the boat.]] / [[Just as he's recovering, the dinosaur's head appears in the frame, and he's mad.]] / [[BoxJam gets smushed into the boat by the dinosaur.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030226.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and son follow a crowd through a door]] / [[BoxJam and son move towards some empty seats in a busy stadium.]] / [[BoxJam and son shown in seats amongst a large crowd with no empty seats around them.]] / [[View of a large packed stadium from afar]]
/ Announcer: Before tonight's game the home team has requested that a certain person - who is so terrible at every sport that his mere presence may make the atheletes do worse - leave. Ladies and gentlemen, plase direct your attention to BoxJam - Leaving! / [[A spotlight is present on BoxJam as his son sneaks off to the side with the eyes of the people around BoxJam watching him.]] / [[A distant view of the stadium is filled with a chorus of "ha ha's" as BoxJam and son leave on their boat]]
/ BoxJam: How was I to know?
/ Son: This happened last time they sent you free tickets! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030227.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to Ms. BoxJam who is handing him a bag of trash]]
/ BoxJam: I've figured out how to increase the human lifespan-guaranteed!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Uh-huh...wonderful... / BoxJam: Nobody's allowed to have kids until they're 35 for the next 500 years!
/ Ms. BoxJam: And you guarantee this how? / BoxJam: Well, I meant "guarantee" colloquially... simply in the sense of "for sure!" But listen...then, every 200 years, you increase the parenthood age by one year...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Take out the trash... / BoxJam: No, wait...there's more to it...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Just keep bringing the same bag back, then, so we can keep this going... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030228.html |
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