You're browsing the archives of BoxJam's Doodle.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam on a "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" type show]]
/ Quiz Show Host: For one million dollars...name a food that does not contain okra... / [[BoxJam thinks]] / [[Long dramatic shot. BoxJam thinking]] / BoxJam: Gumbo?
/ Quiz Show Host: No, I'm sorry...according to this, gumbo does contain okra...also, on this show, you go home with nothing... / [[Disgraced BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam on the way home in the family boat]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: A million dollars! How could you have blown a million dollars?
/ BoxJam: Well...do you know any foods that don't contain okra? / [[Ms. BoxJam broods, apparently unable to think of a reply.]]
/ Caption: Does ANYBODY know any foods that don't contain okra? Or is it the universal ingredient? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030303.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is holding a bag of trash and speaks with Ms. BoxJam.]]
/ BoxJam: I was thinking our family could start doing XYZ...
/ Ms. BoxJam: That's a great idea! First, though, we need A B, and C... / BoxJam: I got you... there's no such thing as XYZ... I was just checking if you would find fault with an imaginary suggestion before I even started...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Tell me... if XYZ did exist, could you possibly do it without first getting A, B, and C? / [[BoxJam walks away with the trash.]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): OK, but still... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030304.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Why do humans find music pleasant? Isn't it amazing how our ears can pick out sounds at relative frequencies, and rhythmic patterns, and we inherently enjoy it? What is music pleasing?
/ Ms. BoxJam: It isn't. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030305.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam swinging through the streets in Spiderman fashion.]] / [[He swings up to a wall.]] / [[Ms. BoxJam hands a bag of trash to an upside-down BoxJam leaning in through the window.]] / [[BoxJam swings off with the bag of trash.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030306.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam is in a cow costume.]]
/ BoxJam: Wow - I'm so proud of you! You obviously got the part in "Cow! The Moo-sical"...
/ Ms. BoxJam: "The" part is right! I'm Hedy, the cow who's loved, lost, and is ready for love again... / [[BoxJam hugs her.]]
/ BoxJam That's fantastic...if I could think of a cow pun right now I'd offer it...
/ Ms. BoxJam: None is needed... / [[BoxJam is apparently rehearsing with Ms. BoxJam - he's holding a script, and she is in costume on a set with a barn and a prop cow.]]
/ Inset Caption: Three weeks later...
/ BoxJam: It's udderly great!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Really, it's not necessary... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030307.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam checking the mail]]
/ BoxJam: Jun...bill...junk...Oh! Jury Duty! Hon, I've got JURY DUTY!
/ Ms. BoxJam: *Jury duty!?* / BoxJam: Jury duty! My chance to publicly serve, to fultill my citizen responsibility!
/ Ms. BoxJam: I'm so happy for you, I'm almost jealous! / BoxJam: It's been so long...almost two years...I was afraid they'd forgotten about me...but they didn't forget! They hadn't forgotten at all!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Tonight we have pie! Jury duty pie! / [[BoxJam in line at the court house]]
/ BoxJam: I'm ensuring our constitutional right to trial by jury of one's peers!
/ Some guy in line: Me too, bud! Right on!
/ Some woman in line: You too? Yay! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030310.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam, with guitar, walks up to Ms. BoxJam, in cow costume before music stand.]]
/ BoxJam: Hey, do you think they'd allow you to add another song to that play you're in?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Surprisingly, no... / BoxJam: Well, never mind...they'll change their minds when they hear this...remember that song I wrote in college, "400 Reasons I'm Pretty Sure You Don't Love Me Anymore?"
/ Ms. BoxJam: You've spoken of it many times... / BoxJam (singing): The time I saw those Easter Island Head sketches that were drawn too thin in your room -- now what were those about? And when you went to the campus police to see if they had a lost and found when you lost gloves - was it because you don't love me?
/ [[Ms. BoxJam checks her watch.]] / BoxJam (singing): You know when you dressed as a dog figurine for the costume party, you let the cat out of the bag...yeah, I've collected 400 reasons why I think you don't love me...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Cows don't go to college... / BoxJam: Farm, college...it's all the same thing...change a word here and there...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Cows don't wear gloves! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030311.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam and BoxJam lie in bed talking to each other, Ms. BoxJam wearing a cow suit with a cowbell around her neck.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: Sometimes I worry I'm not the actor I need to be for this role...
/ BoxJam: They picked you at the audition because they like you... You'll be great! / Ms. BoxJam: But what if they're wrong abut me? I've never had a big role, and nothing since high school!
/ BoxJam: You'll be great... / Ms. BoxJam: ...trying to be relatable to a human audience while remaining true to the role of a cow... I don't know how to do that!
/ BoxJam: You'll be great... / Ms. BoxJam: ...not to mention the song where I'm wearing a bustier... In front of hundreds of strangers!
/ BoxJam: You're a cow in a bustier? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030312.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Three people are hiking]]
/ BoxJam (VO): As the day grew late, the three lost teachers continued to hike above the tree line. / [[Someone watches them from afar]]
/ BoxJam (VO): Unbeknownst to them, the accountant watched their every move from below. / [[Flames surround them]]
/ BoxJam: Suddenly, the mountain caught fire! They were trapped! If a rescue copter were to find them, it needed to get there right now! / [[Reveal: BoxJam is telling Little BoxJam a bedtime story]]
/ Little BoxJam: Whenver you get stuck in a story, it catches on fire...
/ BoxJam: Suddenly, the sky caught fire! Oh no! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030313.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Sign: Tofu mine / [[Boxjam double-takes]] / Taped-over sign: Tofu farm / Boxjam: I've long suspected as much... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030314.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam stands in a cow costume with a shopping cart.]] / [[Ms. BoxJam's cell phone rings]]
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030317.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam walks in the door in a cow costume]]
/ BoxJam: How did rehearsal go? What did the director say? / Ms. BoxJam: Needs more cowbell... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030318.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: OK, kids... time for dinner! / BoxJam-ina: Where's Mommy?
/ BoxJam: At her cow play rehearsal! Don't worry though... Bup made a nice milky hash, with big glasses of milk! Now I'm going into the kitchen to sit with the milk carton a while... / Little BoxJam: This meal is way too Freudian to eat... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030319.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: The play opens tonight! I'm so excited!
/ BoxJam: I know, honey, we're all happy for you... / Ms. BoxJam: Well, if we're going together, we need to go really early, finish your doodle!
/ BoxJam: Oh, no problem... I work well with a deadline... I'm best under pressure! / [[Neither moves or speaks for 2 frames]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030320.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam is posed very seductively in a cow-leotard]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030321.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: Well, what'd you think of the play?
/ BoxJam [[bug-eyed]]: Great... You were great...
/ [[Little BoxJam is a little bug-eyed too. BoxJam-ina looks at something out of frame.]] / Ms. BoxJam: Well, thank you... I was nervous...
/ BoxJam: Yep...
/ [[Little BoxJam looks at Ms. BoxJam, bug-eyed.]] / [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam brush their teeth, BoxJam still bug-eyed.]] / [[In bed, BoxJam stays awake, still bug-eyed.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030324.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Bearded man: First of all, I want you all to know how valuable each of you is to our team... / Bearded man: You've always full met our expectations; however, the economy has not... so we're having to make some cuts... / Bearded man: All of you in this room, unfortunately, are part of that cut, while we tell the rest of your group in... yes, question? / BoxJam: We're being laid off from a yoga class?
/ Bearded man: Believe me, it was a painful decision... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030325.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: My grandfather... your great grandfather... sold comedy door-to-door, as was the custom in those days...
/ BoxJam's Grandfather: Say... D'ya notice that spelling names such that any 'schwa' sound is represented by the common letter 'Y' seems ridiculously affected and less than manly? To wit: Regynyld...
/ Householder: I say... ho ho! / BoxJam: Back then, you didn't have to be 'P.C.', and his bit usually ended with a dance, a cane in his eye, and a long litany of expletives.
/ BoxJam's Grandfather: @#↯$*%█~+☁↯^<<деƵ##@#!!
/ Householder: Har... I laugh in spite of myself... [[tosses coin]] / BoxJam: Often, the cane caught fire... he also took daily orders, like the milk man... then the cane, the milk and the orders caught fire....
/ Little BoxJam: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030326.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam in line at the grocery store]]
/ PA: Your attention please: All customers in lane 4 have been cut due to budget cuts. Thank you for your loyal patronage. / BoxJam: Man, it's a tough economy! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030327.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: My father sold comedy on the phone, as was the custom in his day... he started off just cold calling numbers in sequence...
/ BoxJam's Father: And pop tops... do they really 'pop'?
/ Phone: Well, kind of... / BoxJam: He made a sale on just his second call! He was truly a master of phone humor...
/ Phone: Yes, this is 111-1112... may I help you?
/ BoxJam's Father: Has a 'pay phone' ever paid you? I think not!
/ Phone: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030328.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: C'mon, bud... it's a school night... let's go to bed!
/ Little BoxJam: I don't have to go to school tomorrow... / BoxJam: Whaddya mean? Tomorrow's a school day! / [[Little BoxJam hands BoxJam a note]]
/ BoxJam (reading): "If you receive this note, your child is among our painful budget cuts. Please know that this is not a reflection on your child's performance, but our dollars." / BoxJam: Man, it's a tough economy! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030331.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Later in Dad's career, he took to mass mailing his material...
/ Householder (reading junk mail): "What's the difference between the president and you? The letter 'P' - You people make me sick! Call Johnson Siding today! Free estimates!" / BoxJam: He continued in that medium until the day he died...
/ Householder (reading junk mail): "Duster? What the hell kind of name for a car is that? Does it come with a can of Pledge? You people make me si-< http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030401.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Sign on door: the BoxJams
/ [[BoxJam walks up.]] / [[BoxJam walks away.]] / Sign: County Jail
/ BoxJam: Please?
/ Guard: No!
/ BoxJam: I believe I'm a danger to myself and others!
/ Guard: No! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030402.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam walks up to BoxJam.]] / [[Long pause.]] / Ms. BoxJam: What are you looking at? / BoxJam: Sometimes I get a funny, sad feeling that I don't understand when I think about all the good times in your life I missed before we met... / Ms. BoxJam: That's ridiculous! What a waste of energy! You may as well feel bad about all the people you never met! / BoxJam: Well, I just don't. But I do get a funny, sad feeling thinking about you before we met... / [[Pause.]] / Ms. BoxJam: I was a total jerk...
/ BoxJam: Oh... OK then! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030403.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: How'd the audition go?
/ Ms. BoxJam: See for yourself! [[She hands BoxJam a note.]] / BoxJam: You got the part! Congratulations!
/ Ms. BoxJam: The director had apparently seen me in "Heifer Vixen"... / [[BoxJam reads further.]] / BoxJam: Anything special I should know about "An underwater musical comedy"?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Help me remember not to eat an hour before rehearsal.... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030404.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam rides up an escalator]] / BoxJam: Can someone really be so tired of life that an escalator ride no longer gives that special "thrill?" http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030407.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam plays bagpipes and hands out balloons to birds]]
/ BoxJam: Can I really be so tired of life that playing bagpipes and handing out balloons to the birds no longer gives that special "thrill?" http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030408.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam walk in moonlight. BoxJam is carrying trash]]
/ BoxJam: How's your paper cut?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Good... / Ms. BoxJam: Even though we've been married a while, we're still romantic... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030409.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: A word with you about the Missouri Compromise... / BoxJam: It's always been my understanding that Henry Clay was the author of the bill...
/ Ms. BoxJam: No. Although it would be hard to underestimate (sic) his importance in that bill coming to be law, most of the actual language survives from the first version of the bill, written by Jesse Thomas of Illinois. / BoxJam: I see... / {{I obviously meant "overestimate" when I said "underestimate." I am filled with shame.}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030410.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is talking to 'Mina]]
/ BoxJam: Well, I couldn't establish radio contact with Houston, 'Mina...
/ how you feeling with me?
/ 'Mina: Dissappointed. / [[BoxJam looks at the reader]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): Well, that makes 6,000,000,000 of you... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20030411.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 >>