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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Ms. BoxJam and BoxJam walk along, with Ms. BoxJam animatedly talking.]] / [[BoxJam's head swells, and continues to get bigger and bigger, until it explodes.]] / [[Ms. BoxJam observes the head-exploded BoxJam.]] / [[She pulls another BoxJam out of the bushes.]]
/ <<*YOINK*>> / [[They continue on, Ms. BoxJam still talking animatedly.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20041129.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | (various mathematical symbols)
/ Error: Invalid operation exception! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20041206.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Little BoxJam: Whoops! / BoxJam: What does it mean if you get a menorah to last eight nights, and it only lasts one?
/ Ms. BoxJam: It's an elcarim! Or God hates you... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20041213.html |
| BoxJam's Brush With Death | BoxJam's brush with death! / [[BoxJam is brushing his teeth.]] / [[The grim reaper is brushing his teeth alongside BoxJam.]] / BoxJam's brush with death! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20041220.html |
| Case York's Doodle Comics | Little BoxJam: Hey Bup, did God create you?
/ BoxJam: Um... yeah, I guess. / Little BoxJam: Did God create me as well?
/ BoxJam: Of course. Why do you ask? / Little BoxJam: I was thinking how he was doing much better work in recent years. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20041221.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Oh, Broom Hilda... you loveable concubine of Satan... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20041222.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: FOUND 'EM! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050103.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: ... But the most crucial thing you have to - / [[Little BoxJam, from 'behind' the web page, busts a hole in it.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam's Static Sentence Fragment: ... But the most crucial thing you have to - / [[Little BoxJam climbs through the hole.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam's Static Sentence Fragment: ... But the most crucial thing you have to - / [[Little BoxJam rappels down from the hole to the ground.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam's Static Sentence Fragment: ... But the most crucial thing you have to - / [[Little BoxJam begins attacking Ms. BoxJam's sentence fragment with a flamethrower.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam's Static Sentence Fragment: ... But the most crucial thing you have to -
/ BoxJam: You gotta admit, when he interrupts, he does it well... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050110.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Minister (offscreen): ... thoughts are with them. Also in our prayer basket this week, a request to remember someone whose comic books from 1992-1995 inclusive seem to be mysteriously missing, and whose wife swears she had nothing to do with it, even though she threw out a few boxes recently which she refused to identify... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050117.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Disappointed Man: ... thought you said you'd handle it. In short, I'm very disappointed. / Sign: Please take a number!
/ (Signs): Disappointed. Angry. Just hate me. / BoxJam: It's so much easier since I started this system... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050124.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Life insurance policy came... / BoxJam: Now you can fantasize about everything you'd buy if I died! / BoxJam: Ha Ha! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050201.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: You kids know you're great, right?
/ Little BoxJam: Yeah...
/ 'Mina: Yeah... / Little BoxJam: Why do you tell us something you figure we already know?
/ BoxJam: Parenting magazine said to. No other reason. / Little BoxJam: You read parenting magazines?
/ BoxJam: No, but your mother tells me about 'em... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050202.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: ... the truth is, I was going to ask you to marry me tonight...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Marry you!? I... had no idea... / Ms. BoxJam: I can't. I'm sorry. / BoxJam: *sigh* / Little BoxJam: What are you even doing? / Little BoxJam: She can't marry you because you're already married to her! / Little BoxJam: Helllooo... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050203.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Mornin', Boss! / [[The boss stares angrily]] / [[The boss stares angrily]] / [[The boss stares angrily]] / BoxJam: I'm pretty sure he's my boss, anyway... I should check on that... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050207.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks by Ms. BoxJam, looking stricken.]] / Ms BoxJam: What horrific revelation has stricken you now?
/ BoxJam: The "long i" sound doesn't exist... / Ms. BoxJam: What?
/ BoxJam: I! It's not real! It's just "Ahh-Eee" really fast! / Ms. BoxJam: When might the world expect you again?
/ BoxJam: Try me Monday... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050210.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is carrying a shovel and handing a necklace to Mrs. BoxJam.]]
/ BoxJam: Happy Valentine's Day, Honey! I got you this heart necklace!
/ Ms. BoxJam: (surprised) Oh -- it's stunning! And on our budget... / BoxJam: (guiltily) Oh, well, you just have to get creative... / [[Silence as BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam look at necklace.]] / Ms. BoxJam: "You" + "creative" usually equals grave robbing...
/ BoxJam: Aw, c'mon -- I cleaned it! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050214.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{animated gif}}
/ Narration: Today, 912 people will get married who never thought they could.
/ Aujourd'hui, 912 gens obtiendront ont épousé qui a pensé ils ne pourraient pas. / Narration: 409 people will meet a grandchild for the first time.
/ 409 gens rencontreront un petit-enfant pour la première fois. / And 1,464 people will finally stop reading Case Yorke's "gluemeat."
/ Et 1,464 gens arrèteront finalement la lecture Case Yorke «gluemeat.»
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050216.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Two BoxJam's stand over a bloody, lifeless, blue guy from "gluemeat." One BoxJam holds a bloody hook. The art is static for all four panels.]] / BoxJam 1: "Sluice" is a good word...not over-used, so it still carries come weight...impact... / BoxJam 2: Kinda like "truncheon"...
/ BoxJam 1: Exactly... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050228.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Two BoxJam's stand over a bloody, lifeless, blue guy from "gluemeat." One BoxJam holds a bloody hook. The artwork is static for all four panels, except the 4th panel has added animation.]]
/ {{I really did ask for, and get, trashcans for my birthday.}} / BoxJam 1: So, for my birthday I'm asking for a new trashcan...
/ BoxJam 2: Huh... / BoxJam 1: Yeah...45 gallon jobber-plastic, on wheels..."wind-whipper" striations...
/ BoxJam 2: You can get whippers on the plastic numbers now? / BoxJam 1: Yeah...
/ BoxJam 2: Sweet... / [[In the last panel, Ms. BoxJam occasionally chases the orange guy from "gluemeat" across the panel, trying to run him down in a car.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050301.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | One BoxJam: A person who eats just one pear has not eaten a pair... / Another BoxJam: That's very true... / [[They stand silently by a gutted blue guy from Gluemeat. Another BoxJam is holding a bloody sickle]] / [[Scene supposed to be reminiscent of "Angriest Dog in the World"]]
/ Dog straining at leash: grrrrrr... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050303.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | WILD n' WACKY LAWS OF THE LAND
/ [[A judge is shown holding his gavel in a gesture of amused confusion.]] / NARRATOR: IN LANHAM, MARYLAND, IT'S ILLEGAL ON SUNDAYS TO "KNOWINGLY POSSESS NARCOTICS NOT PRESCRIBED BY A LICENSED PHYSICIAN WITH INTENT TO SELL OR REDISTRIBUTE." WHO KNEW?
/ [[Two men caught in the act of selling/buying drugs look wide-eyed at the reader.]] / NARRATOR: DON'T GO FORCEFULLY ENTERING PRIVATE RESIDENCES IN TATUM, OREGON -- NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO RISK A HEFTY FINE AND/OR IMPRISONMENT!
/ [[A man looks speculatively at the rock in his hand as he stands in front of a window.]] / NARRATOR: . . . AND IT'S AGAINST THE LAW IN GOOD OL' LANSING, MI, TO "ABDUCT AND HOLD A PERSON OR PERSONS AGAINST THEIR WILL"! . . ROGER THAT, ONE-ADAM-TWELVE!
/ [[Two men, one with gun in hand, the other tied to a chair and gagged, give identical expressions of innocent ignorance to the reader.]] / NARRATOR: ONE THAT NEVER GOT TAKEN OFF THE BOOKS IN OREM, UTAH, IS THE LAW AGAINST "FALSIFYING DOCUMENTATION IN ORDER TO OBTAIN MONEY, GOODS, OR SERVICES." WHOOPS!
/ [[A dirty man holds up an official-looking document while another holds out a wad of money.]] / {{Text at bottom: and yet it's not illegal to sell a product that's made more of smushed bugs than 2 of the 3 pictured fruits on the label (the mixed berry flavor)...}} http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050307.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Coworker:: ...And I need this urgently...
/ Boxjam: < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050314.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Voice-Over: COOL SPIDER FACTS / [A BoxJam looks wary]
/ Voice-Over: For every spider you see, there are eighteen million you touch and never realize! / [BoxJam sleeps while spiders crawl and dangle]
/ Voice-Over: You ingest (eat) 36.2 spiders a month while sleeping! / [BoxJam stands on a grid, each node of which is a spider]
/ Voice-Over: You're never more than 17 inches from a spider! / [BoxJam tries to talk to a giant spider, who has 4 legs crossed]
/ Voice-Over: Spiders never age! And they can't be frozen, drowned, tortured, or reasoned with! / [BoxJam's legs are covered with spiders]
/ Voice-Over: Scientists estimate that 42% of every person's body weight is spiders! / [Graveyard, struck by lightning]
/ Voice-Over: Dead people who are given a jolt of electricity will usually repeat the very last thing they ever said!
/ Grave 1: AAAAAH!!
/ Grave 2: Oh, @#!"?!!
/ Grave 3: AAAAH!
/ Grave 4: Rosebud...
/ Grave 5: AAAH!
/ Grave 6: What's this button do?
/ Grave 7: AAAAH!
/ Grave 8: Oh, @#(storm cloud) (scribble)!! / [BoxJam sits, listening to Little BoxJam, who stands in front of a poster that says 'My Report on Spiders']
/ BoxJam: What does that last one have to do with spiders?
/ Little BoxJam: It's just another cool fact I found on the internet... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050321.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam drives his boat]]
/ Sign: Welcome to New Mexico / [[Siren flashes behind him]] / [[Siren flashes behind him]] / [[Man in sombrero appears. Lights around the sombrero blink red and blue]]
/ Cop in Sombrero: I'm gonna need to see your license and registration. / Cop in Sombrero: Is something amusing, sir? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050328.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is carrying trash]] / [[World is behind Boxjam]]
/ World: Hey I gotta joke...
/ Boxjam: What's that? / [[World hits Boxjam]]
/ World: APRIL FOOL!
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050404.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Sign: Public school sponsored "health" museum sex education multi-media presentation "optional" curriculum for students and parents
/ [[Parents and students go in.]] /
/ [[People come out, bug-eyed.]] / [[Everyone starts smoking furiously, students included.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050411.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam sits alone in stadium stands, wearing a baseball cap with a 'W']] / BoxJam: I wonder if it means I'm getting old that I think about how nice the grass is as much as the game... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050412.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: I've finally developed a super power! / BoxJam: It's nothing like x-ray vision or the ability to communicate with dead dogs, but my navel can produce high-quality photos! / [[BoxJam clenches his fists and squints]] / [[BoxJam looks down the front of his muumuu]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050413.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam; BoxJam holding trash]] / BoxJam (singing): Girl... you're a girl-rl...whoa, girl...yeah, you're a girl... / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050414.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Throughout the comic, BoxJam stands with a parrot perched on his left arm. ]]
/ BoxJam : Say "pretty boy"... / [[awkward pause]]
/ BoxJam : Say "pretty boy"... / [[another awkward pause.]]
/ Parrot: I was old when you were born, I will still thrive when you have died, and what was the other thing? Oh yeah... You suck. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050415.html |
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