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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{metaphor about life}}
/ BoxJam: I often picture it as a giant house, maybe with a few different entrances... / BoxJam: There are TONS of rooms in the house, and you pick your way...sometimes a room has more than one way out, sometimes it doesn't - but you can never go backward... / BoxJam: Somewhere along, you realize that you must be at least halfway through the house, and no matter what, you can't change that... / [[Reveal that BoxJam is telling this to Little BoxJam at bedtime]]
/ Little BoxJam: You ever think about talking to someone besides me about this stuff, Bup?
/ BoxJam: ...and you hear people say they've seen windows to the outside, but you realize they're deluded or lying... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050418.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{metaphor about life}}
/ BoxJam: Sometimes you know what's on the other side of a door; sometimes you don't. Most of the time you have a good guess and you just have to go with that. / BoxJam: It's always out there, though...one door will open to the outside, where you find everybody who has come before... / BoxJam: That's the thing...sometimes you'll find people again in other rooms, sometimes not until you're outside...but you have to keep going through those doors, and no matter how much it seems otherwise, you're really doing it alone...don't you think so? / [[Reveal that BoxJam is telling all this to 'Mina at bedtime]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050419.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks in (trash in hand) on Ms. (well, Dr.) Boxjam reading a book.]]
/ BoxJam: You look bored...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Oh, it's just tiring preparing this psych lecture... / Ms. BoxJam: It's the suicide chapter in the mental illness course... and I have to read all these suicide notes... they're all so redundant and rambling! / BoxJam: Do you expect them to edit for content?
/ Ms Boxjam: Would it hurt them to care about their writing a little bit? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050425.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam at a customs' official's desk]]
/ Hamburger-shaped Customs Official: No, this is the Burger KINGDOM. Fast food is two more exits...
/ (sign1): Have passport ready
/ (sign2): Customs/Douane http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050426.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is on the computer; Ms. BoxJam stands behind him, looking over his shoulder.]]
/ BoxJam: Yet another strip where there's a blue guy, and the orange guy is a jerk...
/ Ms. BoxJam: I thought the orange guy wasn't really a jerk in your strip... / BoxJam: Well, that's just it... they steal your idea, then change just enough so that you can't sue them.
/ Mrs. BoxJam: I see... / [[Pull out to reveal BoxJam Jr., sitting at a minature piano a la Schroeder from Charles Schulz's "Peanuts"]]
/ BoxJam: Could you play softer, sport?
/ Junior: Brahms' birthday is coming up! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050427.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[A very uncomfortable Boxjam is surrounded by love-struck woodpeckers. The object of their affections? His jackhammer, which he is using on the sidewalk.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050502.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Sign: Wait Here / Sign: Wait Here
/ [[Ms. BoxJam creeps up on BoxJam]] / Sign: Wait Here
/ Ms. BoxJam (whispers): orange guy...
/ [[BoxJam's hackles rise]] / Sign: Wait Here
/ [[BoxJam's hackles remain raised]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050503.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [BoxJam and Ms. BoxJam sitting on a bench in front of several other couples sitting on a bench. Strange lines, one doesn't know what they are sitting on.]
/ BoxJam: How long is this trip? I'm famished!
/ Ms. BoxJam: Think about dead people...you'll be fine... / [same scene, BoxJam looks startled]
/ BoxJam: What are you *talking* about?
/ Ms. BoxJam: Well, you've got this thing where after a funeral, or even being in a funeral home, you won't eat for *hours*... / [zoom out, can now see that they are sitting atop a dinosaur]
/ BoxJam: That's not a "thing"...it's an instinctual urge to separate your food from your dead people...
/ Ms. BoxJam: Whatever...use it to your advantage...I wish we had a dead person here for you to touch...you wouldn't eat for days... / [zoom back in, same scene as before, Ms. BoxJam leaning in and pointing her finger at Boxjam]
/ BoxJam: Why is that your solution for everything?
/ Mrs. BoxJam: Dead people *would* encourage better dental hygiene. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050509.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Whether to take out the trash, or watch TV and raise my cholesterol...
/ Shoulder devil: TV and junk food...
/ Shoulder angel: What the heck...you work hard...take a break... / BoxJam: Really? One night of guilt-free life wasting?
/ Shoulder devil: Absolutely.
/ Shoulder angel: ...and you know what else? Spill some crumbs... / Shoulder devil: Especially potato chips..oh, and leftover pizza, if you have any...
/ Shoulder angel: Yeah...pizza's good...spill pizza everywhere! / BoxJam: I don't see why I need to be intentionally messy...
/ Shoulder devil: Hey...you've earned it! Make a mess!
/ Shoulder angel: That's right...show the world you have the right to be a slob! / BoxJam: Why does your pitchfork look like a cocktail weiner stabber?
/ Mouse dressed as devil on shoulder: Oh...and fritos...see if you have any fritos...
/ Mouse dresed as angel on shoulder: Peanut butter cups! I could eat like a million peanut butter cups! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050513.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Sometimes I wonder what our lives would have been like if we never met... / BoxJam: I wonder if you'd have become an adult film star, and if I'd never have found the right woman... / BoxJam: ...and then maybe one day I'd watch a movie with you in it, and some part of me, for reasons I couldn't put my finger on, would not be able to stop looking at you... / BoxJam: You'd have this certain "something" that would make me both happy and sad, so I'd rewind the best scene over and over, wishing I were that guy, or maybe that other woman... / Ms. BoxJam: *Blink* / BoxJam: Isn't that romantic? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050516.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ant in Fedora: There's no way an exoskeletal creature as large as me could survive in this gravity... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050519.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | A Laff-A-Day
/ "I've been really depressed since my wife kicked me out...almost suicidal..." http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050520.html |
| The Parasaurolophus One | Parasaurolophus: I lived so long ago, and I'm tired with the weight that all who are done living feel. / Parasaurolophus: I lived a lifetime- it may have been 12, 15, 20 years... I'm not sure, but it was a full span and I was satisfied when it was done... / Parasaurolophus: We didn't talk like you, but we never missed it... we knew what we felt, and we knew how to communicate all the things that mattered... my mother knew what I needed, and I knew what my children needed... our love was just like yours... / BoxJam: There's a whole museum in here, and we can't get her to move past one stupid skeleton! Why do we even bother? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050523.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: It was a typo. They were looking for a MONEY manager. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050527.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Narrator: The explosion was predictably horrific, scattering body parts and bits of armored carrier we'd belly-loaded with putty with equal effectiveness. Enemy one: no factor. Anymore.
/ [two people huddling behind a mountain while explosion happens in background.] / Narrator: Our second enemy, though--the bitter cold, and our lack of sufficient shelter and clothing--the approaching night could kill us far more easily and fearlessly than any mortal...
/ [one person, looks to be some rope, same mountain, smouldering fire from explosion.] / Narrator: Equal parts miracle and curse, we found our defense against the cold...through some freakish turn, most of our dispatched foes' outer clothes were useable...the curse was that body parts still occupied them...nothing teaches you "life is an ugly compromise" like removing detached hands from precious, warm gloves.
/ [person smoking cigarette, other person, bloody hand on ground.] / BoxJam: Where are the kids?
/ Mrs. BoxJam: It's the cutest thing...they've been dressing his G.I. Joe's in her old doll clothes for over an hour.
/ [Mrs. BoxJam doing something indescernable on counter, BoxJam behind her.] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050531.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | I think "God is vacuuming" is a fun way to explain tornadoes to kids... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050606.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam walks up to the Flash (the superhero).]]
/ BoxJam: Hey, Flash ... I've got a beef with you! / BoxJam: YOU should be able to fly!
/ Flash: Believe me -- I've tried. It doesn't work... / BoxJam: Yeah, only because you're an idiot! Air's a fluid, right? SWIM through it like you're underwater! But do it fast, Brainiac! Makes WAY more sense than Superman flying!
/ Flash: Hmmm... / [[Flash tries it -- it's working. He flails his way into the air.]]
/ Flash: thanks, Citizen!
/ BoxJam: No problem... / {{Later...}}
/ [[Superman and Batman are kicking the crap out of the Flash, who lies on the ground in obvious pain. BoxJam is walking by.]]
/ Superman: This is for trying to fly like me!
/ Batman: And THIS is for looking like a putz doing it!
/ BoxJam (thinking): Jerk... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050613.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: YOU GUYS SEE THIS OLD, OLD METAL TRACK SCREWED INTO THE BRICK HERE? THIS WAS TO GUIDE A DRIVERLESS, HORSE-DRAWN STREET CAR! / BoxJam: THE ORGANIZERS NEW ENDEAVORS OF THE NEW TRANSIT AUTHORITY EXPERIMENTED WITH THE IDEA AS COMPETITION TO NEW ELECTRIC STREET CARS . . . LEADS INTO THE TRACK KEPT THE HORSE ON COURSE ON A CONTINUOUS CIRCUIT! / BoxJam: THEN ONE DAY, A YOUNG MAN, WITH A NEWLY EXPECTANT BRIDE ... GOSH, HE WAS CLOSER TO YOUR AGE THAN TO MINE ... GOT OUT ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TROLLEY! HE WAS TRAPPED ... AND I NEVER MET MY FATHER ... I KNOW IT HURTS TO HEAR ABOUT THE GRANDFATHER YOU NEVER KNEW, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT! / Ms. BoxJam: I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR NOT POINTING OUT THE INCONSISTENCIES IN THAT STORY ...
/ Little BoxJam: I WASN'T EVEN LISTENING ...
/ BoxJam: SEE THOSE PIGEONS? PIGEONS DIDN'T EXIST UNTIL THEY WERE BRED TO BE FOOD TASTERS . . . http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050620.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Mr. Microphone: Say, guys, you don't want to shoot that guy and then rob a bank... / Narrator: Although he had the ability to broadcast over any nearby radio, "Mr. Microphone" never entered the top pantheon of superheroes. Plus, he was killed seconds after this, his first mission, began. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050627.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Little BoxJam and 'Mina: BUP! BUP! DID YOU BRING US A PRESENT FROM EXPLODING MONKEY ISLAND? / BoxJam: WELL, LET'S SEE ... I -- / (Sound effects) BLAM BLAM / BoxJam: -- ACTUALLY FORGOT ... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050711.html |
| Thinking Outside the Box | BoxJam: Well, at least this didn't feel as silly as the experiment pushing the envelope... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050715.html |
| A Trash Gag | BoxJam / Darth Vader: NOOO!! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050725.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Mike: HOW ARE YOU FOLKS? MY NAME IS ALSO MIKE, JUST LIKE THE LAST GUY - AND I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF . . . I'M DIVORCED, I'M SCARED OF COMMITMENT, I DON'T LIKE [TO] PLAY GAMES, [I] HAVE A LOT OF LOVE TO OFFER ...
/ Caption: IT WAS THE STRANGEST "OPEN-MIKE" NIGHT EVER. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050727.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Early sidecar http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050729.html |
| In line at the Mega Mart | Ms. BoxJam: This is ridiculous... / Ms. BoxJam Those people ahead of us have a huge cart full of stuff, and we just have one vegan sausage...
/ BoxJam: It's fine, honey... we'll just wait... / Ms. BoxJam: It's NOT fine! This whole line is held up because the people buying all that stuff won't let anybody go ahead...you have to say something...
/ BoxJam: I do NOT have to say anything...it was our choice to come to a mega-warehouse that sells everything from car parts to real estate... / Ms. BoxJam: Because it's cheaper! Should we pay a penalty for only buying what we need? Be a man for once and just tell them we need to go ahead!
/ BoxJam (sotto): I AM a man! This has nothing to do with manliness! They got in line before us!! / Ms. BoxJam: Talk to them or I'll get L-Jam to do it! (sing-song) Oh, L-Jam... / BoxJam: You wouldn't! That's totally unfair! Don't make him!-- / BoxJam: *sigh* / BoxJam: ...See, ahhh, the thing is, we're kind of in a hurry, and you're buying a lot more than we are... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050808.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Orange guy and BoxJam at 'Wait Here' sign] / [[Orange guy's head expands and he swallows BoxJam]] / BoxJam (thinking, from inside Orange guy's stomach): Jerk. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050810.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | (Flyer): Lost: Nerve / answers to "Courage" / Caution: touchy! / 555-3825 http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050912.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: I screwed up our plans... I let it slip that the last two days of our trip aren't meeting with agents... just goofing off...
/ Mallethead: You what!? Hey, dinkhead, the padding of the business trip is a serious guy secret! / BoxJam: Yeah, I know...
/ Mallethead: Jeez-o-flip! If any woman pieces together that when we say we're working, we're goofing off, it's just one more step to figure out that when we say we're goofing off, we're doing something really bad... / BoxJam: I know, man... I'm sorry. I blew it, and put all men in jeopardy. I get it... / Mallethead: You didn't tell her there's really no such game as "golf," did you?
/ BoxJam: I'm not that stupid... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050914.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Little BoxJam: Hey Bup, think fast! / BoxJam: About what? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050926.html |
| Brick to the Head Part 2 | Little BoxJam: Hey Bup, think fast about this brick coming at your head! / BoxJam: I bet it'll hurt! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20050928.html |
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