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| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is at the computer, Ms. BoxJam standing behind him.]]
/ BoxJam: Mallethead sent me his novel for critiquing... / Novel: "FIX ME A TROPICAL PARADISE," Stallion slyly intoned, referring both to an alcoholic drink specialty and perhaps something else too. Phoebe clucked in disgust at this tube-headed brute, yet she couldn't shake the thought of him, either.
/ Out of a sense of duty - as the innkeeper of the island's only inn - and for no other reason (she told herself), she inquired about the molten lava that had earlier splashed onto his arm, inlaying itself in the figure of a crude stone horsehead totem in his forearm. "Most unusual tattoo I've ever seen," she heard herself breathily say.
/ "I GUESS THE VOLCANO LIKES TO MARK HER ENEMIES," the can-head quipped. "I'M STALLION, SO SHE SIGNED ME WITH HER OWN BOILING BLOOD AS HER HORSE. BRANDED, SIGNED, EVEN BEJEWELED BY HER I AM, AN' ALL IN ONE ACT," he winked. / BoxJam: I think the cylindrical-headed guy who speaks in all caps is based on him... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060816.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is at the computer, Ms. BoxJam standing behind him, both blinking.]]
/ BoxJam: Mallethead's novel is terrible... But I couldn't tell him that! What can I do? / Novel: "I'M GOING BACK UP THERE," he insisted. "MY DESTINY AND MOUNT MONAMONAHAHA'S ARE INTERWOVEN, AND IT'S NO USE FIGHTING IT."
/ Phoebe began to weep. She hated herself for caring - so many macho men had died trying to subdue this monstress and she didn't mind - why did this rough-hewn granite horse of a man make her feel thus? There was nothing to be done now, of course, except to make the best of it.
/ "At least let me prepare you some Buffalo wings before you go - it always was our favorite dish," the simple island girl offered.
/ "BUFFALO WINGS - WITH CELERY!" he replied, and they shared a laugh. / BoxJam: Ok, it looks like he's incorporated some of my suggestions... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060817.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: So, I finished reading your novel, Mallethead... First-ish draft, right? It's great that you pushed on, and have a finished draft...
/ Mallethead: I SOLD IT. / BoxJam: Sold it? You took some publish-on-demand deal? Wouldn't it be better to polish it up, and try for--
/ Mallethead: I SOLD "SWEET HOT ASH" TO RANDOM HOUSE. 50,000 FIRST RUN. OH, AND SOME MOVIE HOUSE OPTIONED IT. / [[BoxJam and Mallethead are silent.]] / Mallethead: THANKS FOR YOUR HELP! http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060818.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ [[Title: l'Truth Inconveniente]]
/ [[BoxJam is blindfolded and kneeled in a guillotine.]]
/ [[Caption: People are swayed by adamance, even over contradictory, concrete evidence.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060819.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ [[Title: An Inconvenient Dick. or, Moby Truth.]]
/ [[BoxJam is poised with a handheld harpoon in a whaling boat, about to strike down into a whale. The whale's tail looms overhead. In the distance is a two-masted ship.]]
/ [[Caption: My mother-in-law's apartment building smells funny.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060820.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam at a desk where a man sits behind a sign "V.F.W."]]
/ BoxJam: You fought in Korea? Really? My uncle fought in Korea! / BoxJam: Did you know Bob Joyner? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060821.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Text above the comic proper: Webcomics with Action!
/ Always on the cutting edge, 'For Better Or For Worse' has realized that on the interweb, your options are limitless. When you have a lot of action in your comic - tripping in horse manure, driving your pathetic old boyfriend around, running from your wife, people want to see the action. Or at least the blinking. Because animating tripping, driving, and running, is kind of hard.
/ Always on the stealing edge, I am taking the idea and changing it just enough. Your eyes aren't deceiving you - the characters are really breathing. Look for more fun stuff like this in the future. Probably a waste of your time, but still, you can look.]]
/ [[BoxJam standing there. Every once in a while, his chest expands and relaxes again]]
/ BoxJam: Just living is tiring... / BoxJam: *Sigh* http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060822.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam (thinking): I should think about going to bed soon... / [[BoxJam's body falls to the ground as his spirit watches]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): I'm more tired than I realized... / [[Little BoxJam's spirit is running past]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): The boy must be dreaming - boy! Wake up! Get help! / Little BoxJam (thinking): I'm in bed - honest!
/ BoxJam (thinking): No - go get HELP! / [[Little BoxJam disappears into his bedroom wall]]
/ < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060823.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam looking at a magazine]]
/ BoxJam: Oh good grief... "Smithsonian" has an article this month about whether Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare... / BoxJam: They present both sides, but even giving Oxfordian arguments credence bugs me...like the argument "the author had great knowledge of Italy" is presented without challenge! / BoxJam: The guy set three plays in Venice and never once used the word "canal"! He also placed a town called "Belmont" a day's sailing trip away from Venice! / [[BoxJam looks around - he's alone.]] / [[BoxJam walks up to Ms. BoxJam, who's pulling a bag of trash out of a waste basket. He's angry.]]
/ BoxJam: Where have you been? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060824.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam at the 'Wait Here' sign talking to a small planet]]
/ BoxJam: Hey, I'm really sorry you got downgraded from "planet" status...
/ Pluto: I WHAT!? / BoxJam: Oh gosh! I'm sorry! You weren't going to hear about it for days, out where you are!
/ Pluto: Nah, I'm kidding...I'm only severl hours away by radio...I heard... / Pluto: Besides, I was a planet only about a fourth of a year. And I tell you what else- I will be a planet again! It's just taking me longer to clear all the junk out of my path... / BoxJam: A fourth of a year?
/ Pluto: Pluto years! They're like Canadian years - add 32 and multiply by 9/5 or something... / [[Inset: Silent Panel]] / Pluto: Hey, sorry to hear about your demotion from "real comic" status...
/ BoxJam: Thanks, I ...what? http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060825.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ [[Title: An Inconvenient Truth.]]
/ [[BoxJam is spelunking, just soming over a ledge.]]
/ Caption: The Washington Nationals' "W" looks exactly like the stupid Walgreen's "W." http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060826.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ (Pssst...An Inconvenient Truth) / [[A man stands suspiciously behind a lamppost]] / "Period" costumed people say "Huzzah" a lot more than people really did. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060827.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[The BoxJam family in church]]
/ Preacher (offscreen): Ushers will now come down the aisles, collecting your blessed gifts to continue God's work... / [[BoxJam writes a note]]
/ Note: Thank you, God, for thinkin' 'bout me...I'm alive an' doin' fine... / [[He attempts to hand it to the angry basket-bearing usher.]] / [[BoxJam splayed out, Beatle-Bailey-beaten-up style, by a sign and God.]]
/ Sign: That doesn't really work. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060828.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Ms. BoxJam: I have to admit, it must be cool to have a comic strip, where you can share your opinions on whatever you want every day...
/ BoxJam: Yeah... / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060829.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is speaking to Ms. BoxJam as he looks at the computer.]]
/ BoxJam: So as soon as they stun Mark Karr with the news he didn' kill JonBenet, they up and ship him to California to see if he killed some other little girl... / BoxJam: I just hope he can put this all behind him soon so he can go back to his teaching job... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060830.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam carries a bag of trash past the telephone. The telephone rings]]
/ <<*BRNN* *BRNN*>> / Voice on phone: Brandhoe! I have the website we were talking about!
/ BoxJam: I'm sorry - you must have the wrong number... / Voice on phone: What!? But, guy, this is the number you gave me!
/ BoxJam: No, see...it's a wrong number... / < http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060831.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam rings a doorbell.]]
/ <<*Bing* *Bong*>> / [[A man with a moustache answers.]]
/ BoxJam: Retromud is fun to play! / [[BoxJam hands him a piece of paper.]]
/ BoxJam: Here's your doodle... / [[BoxJam driving his boat.]] / [[BoxJam at the door where a woman has answered.]]
/ BoxJam: Consider switching to Keenspot Premium! / [[He hands her a doodle.]] / [[BoxJam back in the boat.]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): There's gotta be a better way to do subscriptions...
/ [[A sign points 'Australia ->']] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060901.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ Title: _n _nc_nv_n__nt Tr_th
/ [[A BoxJam with wings, seen from behind, runs up off a ramp]]
/ Caption: Rape will remain so long as it is a successful reproductive strategy. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060902.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ [[Title: Eine Kleine Inconveniente Truet]]
/ [[BoxJam sits like the statue "The Thinker"]]
/ Caption: I might be DEAD by the time you read this. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060903.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[Uncle Sam and John Bull]]
/ Uncle Sam: Separation of church and state is for losers! It had its place, but it's time to move on!
/ John Bull: Well chap, you're always on about freedom though...won't that be a problem? / [[Uncle Sam is walking up to a moose-antlered personification of Canada and a Frito-bag-carrying sombreroed personification of Mexico]]
/ Uncle Sam: Freedom is WHY I'm doin' it! Freedom-hating atheists have declared war on Christmas!
/ Canada: War on Christmas? Could you not go to church? Could private entities not put up pagan Christmas decorations? Um, eh? / [[Uncle Sam is now walking up to two middle-Eastern people, one carrying a sword]]
/ Uncle Sam: Some kid couldn't wander around a school party passing out red cookies that said "this is the blood Jesus shed." Oh, and you can't put the ten commandments in the middle of a courthouse. Hey guys!
/ Guys: Oh hi! There is no just state unless it explicitly involves God!
/ Inset: Mixing state with religion. All the cool countries are doing it. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060905.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam shows Ms. BoxJam a bag shaped like a Klein bottle]]
/ BoxJam: ...and there's no point to taking the trash out, since it can never be said to be in the bag... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060906.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam at a computer]]
/ Computer Screen: You have 1 new message(s). / Computer Screen: Dear Boxjam, I hope you're satisfied, Mister, because you've RUINED WEBCOMICS. / [[BoxJam sits in silence.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060907.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | BoxJam: Sometimes I wonder if they use fear to manipulate us...
/ [[sign: Watch ABC! ... or terrorists might kill you.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060908.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ [[Title, In Large, Calligraphic Script: An In Con Ven Ient Truth]]
/ [[BoxJam is hoeing rows of earth with an old-fashioned peasant's hoe.]]
/ Caption: Nothing I do is ever good enoug enough.
/ [['enoug' is scratched out.]] http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060909.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | {{An Inconvenient Truth}}
/ [[BoxJam kneeling in anguish on a beach - in the background is the half-submerged Statue of Liberty.]]
/ BoxJam: I'm pretty sure there's a library book I haven't returned for 25 years... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060910.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam is reading as Ms,. BoxJam looks on.]]
/ BoxJam: The stories are so frustratingly brief, but sometimes if you push, you can get more human aspects out of the narrative...our protagonist does not rise - is he alive or dead? / BoxJam: You look and look, trying to glean more meaning from little bits of text... / BoxJam: ...the old man is snoring! He's not dead, just woozy from bumping his head! / BoxJam: It's been a debate between cynics and romantics for ages... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060911.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mallethead]]
/ BoxJam: ...Barney told Fred that HE went to the doctor, and they told HIM they couldn't have children... / BoxJam: ...so it's pretty clear he was sterile... ...sometimes you have to read between the lines... / Mallethead: I WENT TO THE DOCTOR, AND SHE SAID MY WIFE ISN'T HAVING CHILDREN OUT OF SPITE. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060912.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam and Mallethead]]
/ BoxJam: ...but it wasn't skim milk - it was 2%! If it has a pastel pink top, a jug of milk should be skim! / BoxJam: Which is not to say all skim milk should necessarily be pink-capped - "all A is B" does not imply "all B is A"... / BoxJam: ...but if you DO put a pink cap on...it's like putting root beer in a green can! / Mallethead: COWS DO THAT OUT OF SPITE. http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060913.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | Inset Sign: BoxJam's Rules fer Livin'
/ BoxJam: Find your passion in life, make it your vocation, and you'll always succeed! / BoxJam: Because if you love it, that will come through, and it will work out! / [[BoxJam is embraced by his family]]
/ BoxJam: Your family will support you, because they don't need to eat, wear shoes, or go to the doctor! They'll wait until you strike it rich with your passion, because that happens, and they believe in you! It's a cycle that breeds success! / [[BoxJam is drawing a comic]]
/ BoxJam (thinking): I do make myself laugh sometimes... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060914.html |
| BoxJam's Doodle Comics | [[BoxJam looks in a cabinet]] / [[BoxJam looks in the refrigerator]] / [[BoxJam has dinner going on the stove. Ms. BoxJam peeks in from the door.]]
/ Ms. BoxJam: The rice is soggy and the peas are cold... / Ms. BoxJam: I know you haven't ruined dinner YET, but I'm in a hurry... http://boxjamsdoodle.com/d/20060915.html |
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