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| Goats comic strip from November / 18 / 2004: guest week(s) 2004 (9) | Deutschmarks or dollars. / / American Express will do nicely, thank you. / Delicious! / / Could you loosen up my collar? / / Do you WANT to see me do the shimmy again? / Whimper http://www.goats.com/archive/041118.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 19 / 2004: guest week(s) 2004 (10) | AAAUGH! Yes! / / Oh YES! YES! / Excuse me... Sorry... / / I'm not buying that for a second, sweetheart! / Toothgnip, WHAT is going on? / / I'm staging auditions for a fake shampoo commercial. The idea is that this shampoo is so incredible that it causes girls to have multiple orgasms. MY job is to ensure that the... http://www.goats.com/archive/041119.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 22 / 2004: guest week(s) 2004 (11) | Phillip, what in the HELL are you doing? / These little gray sons of bitches KNOW something, Jon. Something they aren't telling us. / / Maybe you should remove the ball gags if you want them to say something. / Do I go to the gay horse porn store and tell YOU how to do YOUR job? / / You KNOW I'm still upset about... http://www.goats.com/archive/041122.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 23 / 2004: guest week(s) 2004 (12) | Smtp! Bcc: Imap! Subject REPLY! / / Yay! I am the evilest little wizard evar! / GRUUH / / I have conquered email and achieved infinite penis extension! / / Earth is mine! http://www.goats.com/archive/041123.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 25 / 2004: guest week(s) 2004 (14) | HOW IS YOUR HIPPOCAMPUS / I HAVE THE POWER TO FARM / / YOU SHALL FARM LIKE A SPEEDING GAZELLE / A GAZELLE WHO DOES NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD "TEMPERANCE" / / FARM LIFE HAS MADE YOU A STAR / BUY MY BOOK http://www.goats.com/archive/041125.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 26 / 2004: guest week(s) 2004 (15) | BENTAR THE MAGNIFICENT HAS ARRIVED / HOORAY FOR INDEPENDENT FILM / / BENTAR WILL GUESS YOUR HERITAGE / I AM DESCENDED FROM A PROUD LINE OF DENTAL ASSASSINS / / FROM THE FLUORIDE MINES OF EURASIA / IN PERFECT STEALTH WE HUNT THE DENTIST http://www.goats.com/archive/041126.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 29 / 2004: space wizards (1) | Mister Toothgnip, why do I feel sad sometimes for no reason? / Usually it's because there's a space wizard battle nearby. / / Space wizards? / They're from space. And they like to fight a lot. Space wizard energy permeates the sadness centres of the brain and stimulates the production of sadness ions. / / My brain... http://www.goats.com/archive/041129.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 30 / 2004: space wizards (2) | We have to find the space wizards and make them stop putting sadness lions in my brain. / Sorry, I can't help you there, kiddo. / / Why not? / It's that damned Prime Directive again. You know how it is. But I can point you in the right direction. / / You can? / Space wizards like to hang out at the MANHOLE, over... http://www.goats.com/archive/041130.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 01 / 2004: space wizards (3) | And where are you off to, little fish? / Im going to fight the space wizards! / At the MANHOLE. / / That's excellent. I tip my imaginary hat to you, good sir. / My hat is real! / Ask him about the outfit. / / He looks like a tiny Marlon Brando. / These are my wizard fighting clothes! / Bist du rumble-fertig? http://www.goats.com/archive/041201.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 02 / 2004: space wizards (4) | I can't believe you just sent fish off to the Manhole all by himself. / Oh, c'mon. He'll be fine. / / I don't care either way. I just thought you had a moral threshold. / I do. I like to keep it at home, in a drawer, where it's not so cumbersome. / / I am here to rumble with space wizards. / Rumbling's on Tuesdays,... http://www.goats.com/archive/041202.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 06 / 2004: space wizards (5) | You wait here. I'll go get you some meatloaf and green beans. / Okay, mister space wizard! / / Mister Bruce the Sleestak? Is that you? / Oh! Fish! Uh... Hi there. Well, this is certainly awkward. / / I didn't know you were a space wizard! / I haven't heard that one before, but, I suppose I've been called worse. http://www.goats.com/archive/041206.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 07 / 2004: space wizards (6) | ...so then Toothgnip told me I should come here and do battle. / Fish, you're not being tortured by space wizards. / / I'm not? / No. It sounds to me like maybe you're a little depressed. / / Depressed? That makes me so angry! / You're going to have to quit having new emotions until after we figure out the current... http://www.goats.com/archive/041207.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 08 / 2004: space wizards (7) | You're right. I'm depressed. Depressed because I am still in love with REESE WITHERSPOON. A love that can never be. / / And yet, somewhere inside of my body, I still hold a small beacon of hope. Despite the odds, some part of me still feels like a small fish and a big Hollywood actress might somehow be... http://www.goats.com/archive/041208.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 09 / 2004: space wizards (8) | So what should I do to get rid of all this depression? / I say take decisive action. Follow your heart. / / Really? / To hell with what polite society says. Me? My fate is governed by one rule only: Live to regret nothing. / / Maybe a fish and an actor lady really can be in love. / Honey, if Holly and Chaka were... http://www.goats.com/archive/041209.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 13 / 2004: space wizards (9) | Well, I'm off to Hollywood to pledge my undying love to Reese! / Vaya con Dios, my phallic-faced friend. / / / You can come out now. / Is he gone? http://www.goats.com/archive/041213.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 14 / 2004: space wizards (10) | Geez, New York is big. / / CRACK / I wonder which part is HollywoOOOF. http://www.goats.com/archive/041214.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 15 / 2004: space wizards (11) | Wha.. Where am I? / / / Whoa. Massive head trauma is a highly underrated method of travel. http://www.goats.com/archive/041215.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 16 / 2004: space wizards (12) | Excuse me mister! Do you know the way to Reese Witherspoon? / / FO SHIZZLE, MAH NIZZLE. (Vulcan for, "Why certainly, I can give you the directions you seek.") / Leonard Nimoy!? What are you doing here? / / I'm volunteering to help lost people find where they're going. / Today is just about the most convenient... http://www.goats.com/archive/041216.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 20 / 2004: space wizards (13) | First, go left at the hot dog store. Then, go straight for three miles. You'll pass two ogres and a troll. Make another left at the troll. / Okay. / / That turns right into the parking lot for the giant castle where all the Hollywood stars live. The castle guard is a tiny pink man with perfect hair. You'll... http://www.goats.com/archive/041220.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 21 / 2004: space wizards (14) | I wouldn't do this for just anyone, you understand. It goes against regulations. / I'm sorry. / / But your woeful tale of unreqiuted love touched me in a place I had long assumed to be dead. A dry, dessicated husk of mummified dryness. Maybe with some desert voles or something scampering about. / / Morning,... http://www.goats.com/archive/041221.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 22 / 2004: space wizards (15) | I've taken you this far, but these last few steps you must take alone. / But they're so tall! / / Sir, this is a private moment, meant to be shared by you and your lady love. Alone. / But I'm scared. / / ~ SEVERAL LAST FEW STEPS LATER ~ / Ring the doorbell for me. / Now you're pushing it. http://www.goats.com/archive/041222.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 23 / 2004: space wizards (16) | You better be here to drop off a pizza. You done woke Deacon up. / Ah! Miss Witherspoon! Hi. Hi there! It's me. Fish! I came all the way to Hollywood to see you. / / Fish? You that same Fish that's been sending me so many freaky-deaky love letters that my zip code got all worn out? / / Yes, that was me! I brought... http://www.goats.com/archive/041223.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 27 / 2004: space wizards (17) | Reese, something is not right! You weren't this mean last time I saw you! / Hon, I've never met you before in my life. / / You weren't smoking last time. I have heard that smoking can be bad for you! Maybe it's making you mean. / / Where is it exactly that you think this alleged meeting took place? / In the crazy... http://www.goats.com/archive/041227.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 28 / 2004: space wizards (18) | Listen, hon, none of that stuff ever really happened. It was just in your imagination. / But it seemed so real! / / Well, you need to start to learn how to differentiate real life from whatever it is that goes on in your head. There was no red room, no Robert Goulet. We've never met, and whatever you think... http://www.goats.com/archive/041228.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 29 / 2004: space wizards (19) | Ah hell. / / BZZZT / Ok boys, shut it down. We'll try Plan B. / / This helmet doesn't breathe at all. / We can try the brainstem tap again. / Nah, this is fine. http://www.goats.com/archive/041229.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 30 / 2004: space wizards (20) | Pardon me, mister, but who the DAMN HECK HELL are you? / Am I to understand that you don't recognize your good friend and benefactor Gregor Mendel? After all, if it wasn't for me, you'd be food for worms instead of the other way around. / / One could say that you literally owe me your very life. And we scholars... http://www.goats.com/archive/041230.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 03 / 2005: return of the chaos pope (1) | I don't know why they call them nuggets. It's an ill-fitting word. Poop comes in nuggets. / What would you call them? / / / Breasticles. / Oh, that's appetizing. http://www.goats.com/archive/050103.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 04 / 2005: return of the chaos pope (2) | Guys, you would NOT believe who I just ran into outside. / Tony Curtis. / / No, not Tony Curtis. Why would you even say Tony Curtis? / Why wouldn't I? / I thought Tony Curtis was dead. / / No, he's alive. / He owns a bakery! / Every minute I am exposed to you two is draining five minutes of intelligence out of my b... http://www.goats.com/archive/050104.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 05 / 2005: return of the chaos pope (3) | I just saw the Buddha outside! On the road! / Sid Gautama himself? Oh, dude, you're totally screwed. / You know what they say. / / Why are they always saying things all the time?! / "If you meet the Buddha on the road, you must kill him." / / See? They always have to mess up a good idea with some fruity saying. / As... http://www.goats.com/archive/050105.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 06 / 2005: return of the chaos pope (4) | You know it's just a saying. / I'm well aware. / / So that means you don't need to take it literally. It's meant to be interpreted, like a zen koan. The Buddha represents an internalized or externalized ideal that we have to overlook in an effort to find the true self. / / But, of course, I suppose I'm just... http://www.goats.com/archive/050106.html |
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