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| Goats comic strip from October / 02 / 1997: diablo's cookies (10) | The trial begins. / Please state your name for the record / Jon. I think. / / Isn't it true that you brutally murdered and baked eight dozen first-grade cookies and a hamster! / No. / / Ha. Your lies are as transparent as something very clear. I rest my case. / Is this a valid technique for a defense lawyer? http://www.goats.com/archive/971002.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 04 / 1997: diablo's cookies (11) | Mr. Diablo, is it true that you are a chicken? / You... You are a lawyer. I have heard of your species. / / Although I admire your dedication to evil, your species is slow and stupid. You will be my personal bootlicker once darkness claims the earth. / / Let the record show that the witness is a chicken. / Saliva... http://www.goats.com/archive/971004.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 05 / 1997: diablo's cookies (12) | Your Honor, I present Exhibit A: the alleged cookies allegedly found in my client's apartment. / / Ooh! It's shaped like Jimmy Carter. / / Mmm! These cookies are fantastic. I find the defendant not guilty. Case dismissed. / Damn, I'm smooth. http://www.goats.com/archive/971005.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 06 / 1997: green eggs and... | I will not eat green eggs and ham. / I will not eat them, Sam I am. / / I will not eat them on a boat. / I will not eat them with a ... a ... Hmm. / / Ooh. That's a tough one. / Moat? Croat? Bloat? Merlot? http://www.goats.com/archive/971006.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 07 / 1997: jedi mouse (1) | I... I found a mouse in the sink. / I wonder how he got in there. / / / He looks vicious, watch out. He could attack at any moment. / Look at the size of those fangs. http://www.goats.com/archive/971007.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 08 / 1997: jedi mouse (2) | I don't think I can bring myself to kill the mouse in the sink. / What are we going to do? / / Maybe we can scare it away. / Oh yeah! You're good at that. Just pretend it's a woman. / / This situation is somewhat different. I'm not attracted to the mouse. / We could get some frilly lingerie for the mouse, and... http://www.goats.com/archive/971008.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 09 / 1997: jedi mouse (3) | Maybe if we yell at the mouse, it'll get scared and run away. / Sure. Give it a shot. / / You stupid mouse! You're so stupid! And your job is unfulfilling! And women loathe and avoid you! And even if you managed to get into a relationship, it would be with someone that played with your mind and hurt... http://www.goats.com/archive/971009.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 10 / 1997: jedi mouse (4) | The mouse is still in the sink. / Persistent little vermin, ain't he? / / So what do we do now? / I have an idea. / / Phillip, you're brilliant. / You'd be surprised how many problems beer can solve. http://www.goats.com/archive/971010.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 11 / 1997: jedi mouse (5) | You know, no matter how many of these we have, we're still going to have to deal with the mouse in our sink. / Yeah. / / Okay. I have an idea. We construct a large P.V.C. scaffolding over the sink. Then, we use the nylon straps from your backpack as a harness. We place the neighbor's cat in the harness,... http://www.goats.com/archive/971011.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 12 / 1997: jedi mouse (6) | The mouse! It's gone. It's not in the sink anymore. / It couldn't have climbed out... it's too high. / / Maybe it just... vanished. Maybe it was a Jedi Mouse, and it's time had come. As it died, it's body simply disappeared, and it became one with the force. You know, like Yoda. / / Maybe it crawled down... http://www.goats.com/archive/971012.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 13 / 1997: jedi mouse (7) | Pardon me, but is that the spirit of the mouse we found in our sink floating in mid-air? / / Yes, a mouse I was, but not just a mouse. For I was a Jedi Mouse. Now, I have passed on to the other side, and I have become one with the force. I have returned to guide you, to teach you the ways of the Force. / / Have... http://www.goats.com/archive/971013.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 14 / 1997: jedi mouse (8) | Okay, let's assume that you are indeed the spirit of a dead Jedi Master Mouse. Why have you returned? / / I have returned to guide your destiny. You must travel to the Dagobah system. There, you will meet Brooke Shields, the Jedi Master that instructed me. She will teach you in the ways of, you know,... http://www.goats.com/archive/971014.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 15 / 1997: jedi mouse (9) | Neil! I need a lift to the Dagobah system. / No can do, Jon. / / Bob is our pilot, and he's completely loaded. You'll have to wait until he sobers up. He's been running around the bar all night, claiming he's the "Lord of the Dance". / / Mambo or be vaporized, turtleneck boy. / Roger! Come take a gander at... http://www.goats.com/archive/971015.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 16 / 1997: jedi mouse (10) | I am Bob, Lord of the Dance. I am grace and I am beauty. My movements are poetry. / / Fluid and serene, my lithe body floats through *hic* space, creating patterns of *hic* inherent aesthetic. / / Alright, Mambo King, you're cut off. / Noone cuts off the Lord of the Dance. http://www.goats.com/archive/971016.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 17 / 1997: jedi mouse (11) | Bob, go run outside and warm up the spaceship. We're taking Jon to the Dagobah system. / / Is he okay to drive? He was pretty drunk. / Oh, no problem. We sobered him up with our secret alien blend of eleven herbs and spices. / / Remember, kids, don't drink and operate complex alien spacecraft. / Remember, kids,... http://www.goats.com/archive/971017.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 18 / 1997: jedi mouse (12) | How was your trip to Dagobah? / We never went. / / After careful perusal of some star charts, we determined that Dagobah isn't real. It's only in the 'Star Wars' movies. You know, life is a lot like a movie. / / No it's not. If it was, it'd be over in 2 hours. / That still doesn't explain the Jedi Mouse. Or... http://www.goats.com/archive/971018.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 19 / 1997: chessmaster 2000 (1) | Goats: The Comic Strip ~Presents:~
/ The Adventures of Chessmaster 2000
/ Wherever there are blockaded bishops... wherever there is the threat of an irruptive sacrifice... there will be...
/ Chessmaster 2000! And his faithful sidekick... Speak and Spell! The only object on Earth that will speak to him!
/ Chessmaster... http://www.goats.com/archive/971019.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 20 / 1997: chessmaster 2000 (2) | Chessmaster 2000 and his partner, Speak-and-Spell, await the call to action...
/ Ready to fight the enemies of chess wherever they may rear their ugly heads... / / / Spell "Yawn." Spell "Loser". / Shut up. http://www.goats.com/archive/971020.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 21 / 1997: chessmaster 2000 (3) | Check. / Hmm. / / / Move your knight. / Shut up. http://www.goats.com/archive/971021.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 22 / 1997: phillip takes over | Goats: Phillip takes over!
/ ...otherwise known as humiliating jon until he lay sobbing uselessly underneath his desk... / / Drinking heavily is like riding a bicycle. / Why? / / You fall down a lot!!! / Ha. Ha. Ha. http://www.goats.com/archive/971022.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 23 / 1997: true tales of the congenitally stupid | True tales of the congenitally stupid... / How was Prague? / Wonderful. / / Susan and I had a great time. Did you know that Prague is the most expesive city in the world? / / Really? / Yup. It's more expensive than New York, and almost as expensive as Tokyo. http://www.goats.com/archive/971023.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 24 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (1) | Hi, Jennie... I'm not going to be able to make it to work today. / Why not? / / I'm sad. / / Sadness is not an acceptable illness. / Sure it is. All of my pets died from terminal depression. http://www.goats.com/archive/971024.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 25 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (2) | I'm too sad to go into work today. / Excellent. / / I love it when you're depressed. Witnessing your pain and suffering makes me feel better about my own pitiful existence. / / I appreciate your candor. / You do? Damn it. http://www.goats.com/archive/971025.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 26 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (3) | I think the reason I've been so depressed lately is because I'm dissatisfied with my job. / / All I ever wanted to do was to have a job where I could be creative... where I could bring happiness and entertainment to thousands of people. Where I could bring a smile to a child's face. / / I wonder if there... http://www.goats.com/archive/971026.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 27 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (4) | I found this tear-stained note taped to Jon's "Barney" doll. / / Phillip,
/ I have run away to join the circus like I wanted to when I was a http://www.goats.com/archive/971027.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 28 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (5) | We here at 'Goats' have heard from concerned parents who are worried that their kids might try to imitate certain characters' actions. / / In yesterday's strip, Jon dealt with his problems by running away from them. Kids, that's the wrong way to deal with your problems. Why? Because if you do, we'll... http://www.goats.com/archive/971028.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 29 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (6) | YEEHA! / / This happens far too often to be mere coincidence. http://www.goats.com/archive/971029.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 30 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (7) | Hold on... I can see Diablo's head. It hasn't been completely digested yet. / This is all Jon's fault. He never should have run away. / / I think I can pry it out. / Everyone knows that you don't run away from your problems. Unless, of course, you want your pets eaten by mutant eggplants. / / Ooh. I hope Diablo... http://www.goats.com/archive/971030.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 01 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (8) | Alright... Diablo needs to have his head reattached, and Jon is the only one who knows how to do it. But his note said that he had run away to join the circus. / / So, where do we go to find him? / / Ooh! Disneyworld! / Let's try this again. http://www.goats.com/archive/971101.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 02 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (9) | Hi... Can I help you? / Yes... I've come to apply for the 'Clown' position. / / Okay. Can you juggle? Have big feet? Fit into a small car? / No. No. No. / / Well, at least you won't need much makeup... Your face is laughable enough as it is. / Oh. That's reassuring. http://www.goats.com/archive/971102.html |
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