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| Goats comic strip from May / 30 / 2001: poker nite (6) | You guys ever think about teaming up? Planning something unspeakably evil? / Like what? / / Like the Llamadome!!! It's the latest + greatest in international extreme llama combat. Two llamas enter, one llama leaves! / / Eh? / I'm not clear on what happens to the non-leaving llama. / Perhaps it leaves later with... http://www.goats.com/archive/010530.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 01 / 2001: poker nite (7) | While I think the llama-dome would be entertaining, I'm not sure how it contributes to overall evil growth. What if we started an evil organization under the guise of a legitimate business? / / Like a registration drive for republicans. / Or we could be ghostwriters for wrestling autobiographies. / / I think... http://www.goats.com/archive/010601.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 04 / 2001: poker nite (8) | I have an idea!! We could start an army of vicious sea monkeys!! And we can use them to attack France! And other countries!! / / We'd have to negotiate with the sea monkey king and queen to forge an alliance. / Sea monkeys aren't an advanced enough species to warrant a king or queen. / / But they're depicted... http://www.goats.com/archive/010604.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 06 / 2001: poker nite (9) | How about an ice cream company that sells evil flavors? / What sort of flavors? / / Like, say, "Schrodinger's Swirl". Maybe there's a cat in there, maybe not. / Or "Litter-Box Delight". / "Hairballs 'N' Cream". / / "Clive Barker Presents: Self-Mutilated Kitties 'N' Berries Low-Fat Yogurt. / Nobody is gonna buy yogurt,... http://www.goats.com/archive/010606.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 08 / 2001: poker nite (10) | Goodnight, guys! / 'Night. / Good evening. / / Later... / Those nimwits don't know it, but tonight, they gave me the most evil idea EVER! / They may not realize it, but they gave me an idea for the most evil plot EVER! / / Will you pick up your room? I nearly broke my neck on that pile of clothes. / That's it! The most... http://www.goats.com/archive/010608.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 10 / 2001: master baiting | It's not like I'm the only person in the world that has dreams about Rainbow Brite. / SPELL "PEDOPHILE." / / Fishmaster has arrived!! I am Fishmaster! / Who? / / Fishmaster is the arch-enemy of Chessmaster 2000! Fishmaster will destroy you! / What exactly does Fishmastering involve? / / I am the master of fish! Fish... http://www.goats.com/archive/010610.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 11 / 2001: won't you be my neighbor? (1) | Baywatch time. Off the couch. / Shh. / / He's watching an old rerun of "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood." / Isn't he a little old for that? / / It's the brewery episode. / Boys and girls, can you say "Kristal Weisse"? / Kristal Weisse. http://www.goats.com/archive/010611.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 13 / 2001: won't you be my neighbor? (2) | Look, I can understand watching children's T.V. occasionally. But Mr. Rogers? / He's a cultural touchstone, Toothgnip... / / Mr. Rogers could explain shoe-tying and make it seem like the coolest thing in the world. He was our uncle and older brother. He told us we were special, and we knew he'd be there for... http://www.goats.com/archive/010613.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 15 / 2001: won't you be my neighbor? (3) | I can't believe you're making me watch this. / Just keep watching. / / / I didn't know there was a Red-Light District in the Land of Make-Believe. / Henrietta looks pretty good in chaps, eh? http://www.goats.com/archive/010615.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 18 / 2001: another word from our sponsors (1) | Tastes great!
/ Makes me drunk. / / Tastes great! / THWACK / / Miller Lite
/ Half the calories. All of the alcohol-fueled aggression. / How does my fist taste, $#@!?! http://www.goats.com/archive/010618.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 20 / 2001: another word from our sponsors (2) | Orthen Tri-Cyclo? keeps my skin clear and artificially swells my breasts, so I can be a complete slut and sleep with many men! / / I hear it's also a birth control pill!
/ Yeah, I heard that too! / / Orthen? Tri-Cyclo
/ not just for preventing babies anymore. / Now in one-night-stand trial size! http://www.goats.com/archive/010620.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 22 / 2001: another word from our sponsors (3) | I'm lost, and I need to call my mommy. / Just call 1-800-CALL TTA! Use the buttons on my shirt!! They're wacky!! / / Why won't you just give me a quarter? / I'm so zany! Consider casting me in your next low-budget comedy flick!! / / 1 800 CALL TTA
/ Artificially extending the careers of talentless has-beens with... http://www.goats.com/archive/010622.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 25 / 2001: green-eyed monster (1) | Things are actually pretty good, Dave. I'm dating a wonderful girl. / Do I know her? / / Probably not. Her name is Megan. / Megan Rutowski? The one that wears thong underwear? / / For your sake, you'd better be psychic or armed. / Does she still do that "Leaping Piranha" thing? http://www.goats.com/archive/010625.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 27 / 2001: green-eyed monster (2) | How do you know Megan?? / In the modern or Biblical sense? / / Both. / We were in some classes together in college, and we would occasionally sleep with each other. For kicks. / / How could you do this to me, Dave? / Technically, you weren't the one I was doing things to. http://www.goats.com/archive/010627.html |
| Goats comic strip from June / 29 / 2001: green-eyed monster (3) | Look, I apologize for not anticipating that you might one day have a relationship with someone that I slept with. / / From now on, I'll consult with you before I pump anyone full of my hot, throbbing manhood. / Okay, I get the point. / / Excuse me, I'd love to penetrate both of you repeatedly, but my friend... http://www.goats.com/archive/010629.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 02 / 2001: green-eyed monster (4) | Slut. / Bless you. / / I didn't sneeze. / True. But you're going to need all the help you can get after I beat the snot out of you. http://www.goats.com/archive/010702.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 04 / 2001: green-eyed monster (5) | You! You you you slept with David!! / Oh, yeah...man, David was a dirty boy. / / I can't believe you would do this to me. / It was seven years ago, Jon. It's really none of your business. / / Try explaining that to my brain, which is currently on fire. / The real irony is that you introduced us. http://www.goats.com/archive/010704.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 06 / 2001: green-eyed monster (6) | Wait...I introduced you to Dave? / Yes. At one of your fraternity parties. / / This is one of those memories that got wiped out in a frenzy of bong hits, right? / Is there any other kind? / / I was in a fraternity? I'm so embarrassed. / You should be. And it gets worse. http://www.goats.com/archive/010706.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 09 / 2001: green-eyed monster (7) | It was the spring of 1994. Quentin Tarantino was still hip, Boyz II Men desperately wanted to make love to you, we had been on three dates. And you, Jon, predicted that the web would never take off, since Gopher was "a zillion times faster." / / You were a Bio major, at the head of your class. / / Your studies... http://www.goats.com/archive/010709.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 11 / 2001: green-eyed monster (8) | Your fraternity held it's Annual Vomit-Till-You-Puke Beerfest that Spring. / ...and we'll be spending all your dues to turn the downstairs bar into a giant conch shell for the party. / Point of order. / / The Chair recognizes Mr. Hudes. / You're an idiot, and you're stupid too. / / Will the Sergeant-at-Arms please... http://www.goats.com/archive/010711.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 13 / 2001: green-eyed monster (9) | Jon, you're going to have to clear out your room for the party. / We're having a party? / / Your room is designated for keg stands and general debauchery. We'll need the space emptied. / This is my room? / / Well, it's where you've been passing out, which is close enough. / What is this? Sanskrit? http://www.goats.com/archive/010713.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 16 / 2001: green-eyed monster (10) | Meanwhile, over at the Chi Chi Chi sorority house, we were readying ourselves for the party. / This bra is far too difficult to remove.
/ Anyone up for a pillow-fight? / I get drunk after only one wine cooler! / I hope I get to sleep with a Bio major! / / Are you sure we went to the same school? / It's my story.... http://www.goats.com/archive/010716.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 18 / 2001: green-eyed monster (11) | And do, the party began. / Dave, if you see Megan, bring her to the front of the line. / Depends. What does she look like? / / Blonde and perky. / And she's here to see you?! Do I get a taste? / / Not if you want that video of you in those assless chaps to remain a secret. / Secret? I'm looking for a distributor for... http://www.goats.com/archive/010718.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 20 / 2001: green-eyed monster (12) | I can't wait to introduce you to jon, but I'm not terribly eager to cram myself inside a crowded frat house. / Where's the worm? / / He's not a worm. He's a very nice boy. / There's supposed to be a worm at the bottom of the boggle. Bottle. / / You're drinking Boone's Farm, Celia. / Oh, wasn't Boggle just the... http://www.goats.com/archive/010720.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 22 / 2001: green-eyed monster (13) | jon was just here looking for you. / Can you talk to him over that thing? / My back teeth are floating. / / No, but I can put in a call for him if you want to wait here. / That would be great. / Is there a bathroom in there? / / Upstairs, on the right. / Thanks! / / / / / Oh. / Excuse me, ma'am. http://www.goats.com/archive/010722.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 23 / 2001: green-eyed monster (14) | Oh, I'm so sorry, I... / Oh, it's my fault, I'm so... http://www.goats.com/archive/010723.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 25 / 2001: green-eyed monster (15) | Someone's spotted Jon. / Yay! Is he on his way out? / / He's getting busy with someone in one of the upstairs bathrooms. / Oh. / / So, um... wanna screw? / Sure, why not. http://www.goats.com/archive/010725.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 27 / 2001: green-eyed monster (16) | ...and that's why women go to the bathroom in pairs. / I would never do that to you. I don't believe it. / / No, you wouldn't now, but back then... well, there were alot of intoxicants involved. / It would take more than that. / No, you wouldn't now, but back then... well, there were a lot of intoxicants involved. / / I... http://www.goats.com/archive/010727.html |
| Goats comic strip from July / 30 / 2001: planet of the horses (1) | That was a terrible movie, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. / I understand how the humans and apes got on the planet, but where did the horses come from? / / Doesn't every space station have horses on it? / It WOULD be the most efficient way of getting around the station. / / Maybe where the proper conditions exist,... http://www.goats.com/archive/010730.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 01 / 2001: planet of the horses (2) | Tim Burton is an infallible god. There cannot be any plot holes in his movies. / But there CAN be thousands of civilizations of intelligent horses scattered about the galaxy. / / It's the more likely explanation. / If there aren't any plot holes, why did the chimp in the space-pod have a gun? / / Simple. If... http://www.goats.com/archive/010801.html |
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