You're browsing the archives of Goats.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Goats comic strip from August / 16 / 2005: infinite typewriters (67) | So... what was out there? / Nothing. / / Do... do you want to talk about it? / NO. / / Thank God. 'Cause I'm not really equipped for empathy. Plus I don't like you that much. http://www.goats.com/archive/050816.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 17 / 2005: infinite typewriters (68) | Alfred, you say you've been here for nineteen thousand years, but you seem like a pretty contemporary guy. / Like I say, eet ees only been zat long subjectively. / / Eet was 1982 in Switzerland when I was first brought here. I remember because I had just started to despise Culture Club. / So that's twenty-three... http://www.goats.com/archive/050817.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 18 / 2005: infinite typewriters (69) | You're saying that we're going to be stuck here for a year of subjective time before anyone notices we didn't come home? / That's about right. / / So even if someone realized we were missing, had the means to discover where we were, and mounted a rescue mission to steal Oliver's robot and come find us... / Decades,... http://www.goats.com/archive/050818.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 22 / 2005: infinite typewriters (70) | So why does this aborted fetus of a universe just happen to look like our pub? / Ah, you Americans. Zo self-centered. / / Every single dimensional 'brane has an axis pub. You are not so special, you know. Zere needs to be something, yes? / / But why a pub? Why not a zoo? Or a lubricant factory? Or a ZOO FACTORY?... http://www.goats.com/archive/050822.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 23 / 2005: infinite typewriters (71) | Zees thing you call ze internet... how does eet work now? / Well, I personally invented twelve percent of the internet, so I can tell you all about it. / / Fabulous! Other visitors have told me of zees wonder, but I have never gotten to see eet myself, being from 1982. / Well, you see, the internet is called... http://www.goats.com/archive/050823.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 24 / 2005: infinite typewriters (72) | You know, it's weird. I've been trapped here for less than a day and panicking the whole time. / / Alfred? Nineteen millenia and he's still always got something to smile about. What's wrong with me? What's wrong that my perspective could be so utterly screwed up? / / CLICK / Maybe I can try and CHANGE my perspective.... http://www.goats.com/archive/050824.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 25 / 2005: infinite typewriters (73) | This is amazing! It's... it's as if a large weight has been lifted from my burdened shoulders, or as if a blindfold had been lifted from my eyes. Or an unwelcome gila monster removed from 'twixt my thighs. / / Wow. I feel like a hundred Mike Tysons! This is going to change EVERYTHING. / You stay the hell... http://www.goats.com/archive/050825.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 29 / 2005: infinite typewriters (74) | As happy as I am to see you find true bliss, it's made you more unbearable than ever. Science dictates that this sort of growth cannot go unchecked. / / I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to harsh your buzz. It's for you own safety. / Happiness is a choice, man. You say what you want. It's all kittens and sunshine... http://www.goats.com/archive/050829.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 30 / 2005: infinite typewriters (75) | Of course I'll see Megan again. Sure, it might take a few thousand years, but we'll be rescued! / Who do you know that's competant enough to stage a rescue? Jerrell? Neil? Diablo? / / / Maybe we'll die young. / Alfred! Twelve more scotches, neat. http://www.goats.com/archive/050830.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 31 / 2005: infinite typewriters (76) | Phillip, it's time like these, when a man is stuck in a midget dimension with no chance for escape, that he takes stock of his life. / / On reflection, I can easily say that all the mistakes I have made are, in some way or another, your fault. Every bad turn I've made, you've been at the helm, sowing chaos... http://www.goats.com/archive/050831.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 01 / 2005: infinite typewriters (77) | I completely forgot! My PSYCHIC POTATO! We can use it to call for help! / We're saved! / / Oh yeah. I gave the potato to Oliver a while back. Sorry. / We're doomed / That potato was almost out of juice anyway. / / That donkey puncher gave me a bum potato! http://www.goats.com/archive/050901.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 05 / 2005: infinite typewriters (78) | Freaking hippie long-hair. He'll get his. Man, my enemies list is getting unwieldy. / / That should keep the robot out of view while I get me a new goddamn potato. http://www.goats.com/archive/050905.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 06 / 2005: infinite typewriters (79) | cough cough / Goddamn, where did I pop into? The dusty redneck dimension? / / SCREECH! / Time to get proactive. TRAFFIC! STOP IN THE NAME OF OLIVER! / / You gentlemen will immediately escort me to the nearest potato-serving establishment. / I could go for a potato. / Fabulous, more carbs. You want to get chubby like... http://www.goats.com/archive/050906.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 07 / 2005: infinite typewriters (80) | Bob, I think I found them. / Yup. That's the singularity's energy signature. But what are they doing in Arkansas? / / Doesn't matter. But one of us is going to have to tell the goat. / I'm not going back there again. He's CREEPY. / / He's just a bit singed. Your closet shrine to Dakota Fanning, now THAT'S creepy. / I... http://www.goats.com/archive/050907.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 08 / 2005: infinite typewriters (81) | Toothgnip? Hey there. Just came to see how you're doing. I brought CHEETOS! / You've found the eggling and the fish. / / Uh... yes. How'd you know? / Arkansas, eh? We're going after them. Prepare the sublight engines for travel. / / He's... he's inside my MIND! / And its FILTHY in there. I'm buying you a Roomba... http://www.goats.com/archive/050908.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 12 / 2005: infinite typewriters (82) | I reckon we'll hit Missy's Diner before breakfast is over if we head out of here at first light. / And then that potato will be MINE! / You sure do like potatoes. / KHAN NOONIEN SINGH had no need for potatoes. There was no room for a potato in his clenched iron fist. You know, the fist that he ruled with. http://www.goats.com/archive/050912.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 13 / 2005: infinite typewriters (83) | So what's up with Khan Junior? Did he have a few too many Gary Busey moments out there on his bike? / Ah no way, man. It's his pops. / / He never knew who his old man was, see. And his mom never told him. / Best he can figger is that Ricardo Montalban was his father cause he found his photo in his Ma's wallet... http://www.goats.com/archive/050913.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 14 / 2005: infinite typewriters (84) | Screw this. Khan would never have sat around bullshitting by a campfire. He would have hijacked a starship and taken that diner out. / / We don't need to take out the entire diner, Junior. We just needs a potato. / Also, starships are fictional. / / Don't you sass me boy. I've FORGOTTEN more about starships... http://www.goats.com/archive/050914.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 15 / 2005: infinite typewriters (85) | Oh no. Them biker boys are back! We can't afford another front window, Lucilla / Lemme handle these fellas, Cookie. / / We demand that you give us... A POTATO. / / Sure thing, Honeychile. You want that tater baked, or cut up inta freedom fries? / Can we get both? http://www.goats.com/archive/050915.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 19 / 2005: infinite typewriters (86) | I know it ain't none of my beeswax, but what do four rough-and-tumble boys like yourselves need with a potato anyhow? / / This potato is the first step in a much larger journey, Lucilla. Although they do not yet know it, my companions are about to accompany me on a quest to gain absolute control over the... http://www.goats.com/archive/050919.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 20 / 2005: infinite typewriters (87) | See, I got to thinking. If Fineas is right about all this universal instability and unchecked coincidence going on, then something is causing that. Something at the core of it all. / / If I could figure out what that thing was and find it, I could find a way to control it. I could bend it to my will. And... http://www.goats.com/archive/050920.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 21 / 2005: infinite typewriters (88) | KA-CHICK / VOOMVOOMVOOM / Cookie, I thought I told you those boys ain't allowed in here no more! / And a pleasant day to you too, Missy. We're just here for some tubers. / / VOOMVOOMVOOM / You and your boys better get those potatoes to go. I've already called sheriff Ponet and he's on his way with bigger guns than... http://www.goats.com/archive/050921.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 22 / 2005: infinite typewriters (89) | VOOMVOOMVOOM / See? See!? There ARE starships! Finally I am VINDICATED! Finally, I am proven righ- / / VOOMVOOMVOOM / BRRAAAAPPP / / VOOMVOOMVOOM / Crispy fries! http://www.goats.com/archive/050922.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 26 / 2005: infinite typewriters (90) | NO!! Kahn Junior! You're too awesome to die! / / You were more of a father to me over the last five hours than my real father ever was. / / KHAAAN!!
/ Junior! http://www.goats.com/archive/050926.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 27 / 2005: infinite typewriters (91) | Well, well. Look what we've got here? Our little arsonist friend. / And you said stopping for milkshakes would be a waste of time. / / Just another happy coincidence, I guess. If you're going to disintegrate me, go ahead and do it. I'm a busy man on a tight schedule. / / STUN!! / Oh no. That wouldn't do at all.... http://www.goats.com/archive/050927.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 28 / 2005: infinite typewriters (92) | PIZZLE / Wake up, little Suzie! We have some questions to ask you. / BLECH! GICK!! AGH! Stop that! / / ZZZZIP / I have fifteen separate urinary bladders. That first one contained a substance not entirely unlike your Earth beverage 'Tang'. I suggest you cooperate with us if you do not wish to find out the contents... http://www.goats.com/archive/050928.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 29 / 2005: infinite typewriters (93) | Find 'em yerselves. I ain't helpin' you two fruit booty suckas. / Toothgnip may show some mercy if you provide us with some useful information. / / That goat's still kicking? He looked like he spent the night in a deep fryer last time I saw him. / You may want to show him a bit more respect now. Things have... http://www.goats.com/archive/050929.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 03 / 2005: infinite typewriters (94) | Oliver, we're going to take a short break while I drink a pot of coffee or two. I suggest you use this time to think about what you'd like to get out of our next encounter. / The third bladder is Pepto-Bismol. / / Come back here and fight, you pee fiends! Dammit, why do they always put the door controls so... http://www.goats.com/archive/051003.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 04 / 2005: infinite typewriters (95) | SQUISH RUMMAGE / People are just like robots, only smellier. If I can get a robot up and running, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to do the same for you, Khan Junior. / / Lessee... this nerve here looks like the functional equivalent of the servomechanical linkages for a standard robotic ambulatory... http://www.goats.com/archive/051004.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 05 / 2005: infinite typewriters (96) | Without Oliver's cooperation, there isn't much we can do to find the singularity. / The robot's shielding makes it impossible to get a precise fix. / / Screw the singularity. Get him to tell us where the matchbox is. / Matchbox? / / Fineas, I found your goggles, and... What's this? Looks like Oliver left us a... http://www.goats.com/archive/051005.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 >>