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| Goats comic strip from November / 03 / 1997: join the circus like you wanted to (10) | Jon, you have to come back home... Because you ran away, mutant eggplants bit off Diablo's head. You're the only one who knows how to reattach it. / / To be honest, i'm not really sure how to fix it. Whenever this happens, it just seems to take care of itself. The next day, his head is just there... / / Ooh!... http://www.goats.com/archive/971103.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 04 / 1997: the worst joke ever (1) | GOATS presents: THE WORST JOKE EVER.
/ A mind-numbingly bad pun in three parts.
/ Today's Episode: THE SETUP
/ / / I've decided to take a pottery class. It's being taught by Ringo Starr. / Why would Ringo Starr be teaching a pottery class? / / Gee... That is rather strange. / Almost like a setup for a really bad... http://www.goats.com/archive/971104.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 05 / 1997: the worst joke ever (2) | GOATS presents: THE WORST JOKE EVER.
/ A mind-numbingly bad pun in three parts.
/ Part 2: THE BEE / / How was your first day at pottery class? / Great! Ringo Starr taught me how to make a bee out of clay. / / It looks like a malformed zebra. / I'm not done with it yet. http://www.goats.com/archive/971105.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 06 / 1997: the worst joke ever (3) | GOATS presents: THE WORST JOKE EVER.
/ A mind-numbingly bad pun in three parts.
/ The Conclusion: A CRY IN THE DARK / / I can't believe this! It's only my second day of pottery class, and someone's stolen the bee I was making! Ringo Starr is going to fail me if I don't find it soon. / / Who would do such a... http://www.goats.com/archive/971106.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 08 / 1997: studly and virulent | Look at those prissy little mallrat girls with their big hair and their belly-button rings... / I don't think I've dated any of them yet. / / They disgust me. Completely self-obsessed. They think those flannel-clad frat boys are the end-all be-all. All because they haven't met a man as studly and virulent... http://www.goats.com/archive/971108.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 09 / 1997: pudding hut (1) | I've decided to start my own fast-food chain. The continuing trend of specialty chains, focusing on a single food item, is potentially lucrative. / / Unfortunately, most of the good ones have been taken. Burgers, coffee, cookies, pretzels... Too much competition exists already. But no one has a pudding... http://www.goats.com/archive/971109.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 10 / 1997: pudding hut (2) | So you're serious about starting this chain of pudding stores? / Sure I am. It's my life-long dream. All I need is a butt-load o' cash. / / Gentlemen, my card. I represent 'The Diablo Group', a conglomerate of venture capitalists interested in funding your chain. / / 1-800-LOAN-SHARK / It's a typo http://www.goats.com/archive/971110.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 11 / 1997: pudding hut (3) | I need money to start my chain of pudding stores. / You've made an excellent decision, gentlemen. The Diablo Group is looking forward to doing business with you. / / Before we sign the papers, i'll need a copy of the business plan, a valid drivers licence, your eternal souls, and a thong bikini. / / Thong bikini? / We... http://www.goats.com/archive/971111.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 12 / 1997: pudding hut (4) | I am Beer. You will spend all your money on me. / I am Pudding. That money is for your dreams... For starting your chain of pudding stores. / / I can soothe your pain and help you forget how pitiful your life is. / I can make you rich, attractive to women, and cure cancer. / / Liar. / Deception: Pudding's only natural... http://www.goats.com/archive/971112.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 13 / 1997: pudding hut (5) | Wow! Do I ever have a craving for pudding! / Well, you should head on down to PUDDING HUT! / / Pudding Hut serves you the pudding you crave in over 500 different pudding-rific flavors! Pudding hut pudding is pre-tasted for your safety and fortified with Vitamin ass! / / PUDDING HUT (c) We know where you're... http://www.goats.com/archive/971113.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 14 / 1997: pudding hut (6) | Pudding Hut has been officially open for 5 minutes now. / And we haven't had a single customer yet. / / You know who's behind this? Who's keeping our chain of pudding stores down? Bill Cosby. It's a conspiracy. Cosby and his damn Pudding Pops and his monopolistic practices and his communist regimes. / / Did... http://www.goats.com/archive/971114.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 16 / 1997: pudding hut (7) | What kind of pudding do you have? / Well, we have hundreds of your favorite pudding flavors. / / We have tapioca, rice, spleen, severed limb, unwashed panties, used hankerchief, liver, bloody stool, puncture wound, rotting torso, charred baby flesh, and monkey feces stout mint chip. / / Do you have chocolate?... http://www.goats.com/archive/971116.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 17 / 1997: pudding hut (8) | Here's what some satisfied customers have to say about Pudding Hut(r) pudding! / I guess it's okay. / If I could form my own opinions, I'd love it! / DIE DIE DIE FORNICATE / Well, beat me about the face and neck with a slim jim, it's great! / Tasty, yet morally ambiguous. / Mmm... Delicious. / Even better than a kick... http://www.goats.com/archive/971117.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 18 / 1997: pudding hut (9) | Whatcha doin'? / I'm working on Pudding Hut's computer systems. / / I'm developing an electronic pudding delivery system. All you'll have to do is type in the ptp:// prefix and the address, and you can electronically deliver pudding to anywhere in the world. / / ptp:// ? / Pudding Transfer Protocol. http://www.goats.com/archive/971118.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 19 / 1997: pudding hut (10) | You cannot deliver pudding electronically. It's physically impossible. / Oh yeah? Watch me. / CLICK / / It's not working. / / Why are there unearthly screams coming from the pudding room? / Hold on. This piece of code is written backwards. http://www.goats.com/archive/971119.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 20 / 1997: pudding hut (11) | So, I made a small error in my Pudding Transfer Protocol. Seems it delivers the customers to the pudding. / / / This is bad. Very, very bad. / Not really. It lends the pudding a merengue sort of taste. / Not really. It lends the pudding a meringue sort of taste. http://www.goats.com/archive/971120.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 21 / 1997: pudding hut (12) | This is a public relations disaster. We've transported our customers into the pudding silos. / I think I can fix it. / / Diablo! Get down from that pudding silo. / The computer doesn't understand the pudding. I must teach it about the pudding. / / Diablo, get down here now! And stop gnawing on that man's leg.... http://www.goats.com/archive/971121.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 23 / 1997: pudding hut (13) | Jon, something horrible has happened! During my Pudding Transfer Protocol tests, I accidentally combined the pudding with a housefly! / Oh my god. / / I saw something just like this in a movie once. Before you know it, the fly will start vomiting acid on us. Then, Geena Davis will divorce us, we'll develop... http://www.goats.com/archive/971123.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 24 / 1997: pudding hut (14) | I think maybe we've done all we can... The Pudding Transfer Protocol just isn't going to work. / Just one more second... / CLICK / / POOF! / / Whoa. / We're home. http://www.goats.com/archive/971124.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 25 / 1997: pudding hut (15) | Ooh! Look! It's a Weihenstephaner Heifeweizen! / What is this place? / / And there... It's a bottle of Marsten's I.P.A.! / It's like we've been transported to some bizarre alternate universe. / / Whoa... I haven't had one of those since I lost my underwear in Germany. / Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Germany... http://www.goats.com/archive/971125.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 26 / 1997: pudding hut (16) | Wow, this alternate universe sure is a wacky place! I wonder what will happen next? / Wow. / Hi boys. / / We were just passing by and we saw you two virile handsome men standing here. / Would you two be interested in getting a drink? / / Nothing I have experienced has adequately prepared me for this moment. / Or we... http://www.goats.com/archive/971126.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 27 / 1997: pudding hut (17) | All right. This place is getting a little weird now. / Ah, Jon. We finally meet. Perhaps I should explain. / / During your experiments with the Pudding Transfer Protocol, we sensed an opportunity to bring you over... to the BIZARRO UNIVERSE... A place where all that you are familiar with is reversed. I am... http://www.goats.com/archive/971127.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 29 / 1997: pudding hut (18) | All this alternate universe stuff is making me thirsty. / So, what exactly is this place? / I'll explain it again for the thought-impaired. / / There are an infinite number of planes of existence. On this plane, the bizarro universe, things are the exact opposite from your plane. For example, in this universe,... http://www.goats.com/archive/971129.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 30 / 1997: pudding hut (19) | Meanwhile, at the "alternate" pub... / It's true. / No way. This is not an alternate universe. / / I can prove it. How are you enjoying your beer? / It's quite good, actually. A tasty, well-crafted ale. / / It's a Busch Draft Light. / Whoa. We really are in another universe. http://www.goats.com/archive/971130.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 01 / 1997: pudding hut (20) | And now I, Bizarro Jon, will reveal my evil plan... I will strand you here in my universe, with its beautiful, easy women and plentiful beer, while I take over your mediocre life! Bwahaha! / Cool. / / POOF! / / Wow! What a strange dream that was! It sure is good to be back in my normal universe. / Pardon me, but... http://www.goats.com/archive/971201.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 02 / 1997: valor and pancakes (1) | Pancakes is the better part of valor. / / That's not right. It's discretion. Discretion is the better part of valor. / Which do you like better, discretion or pancakes? / / Ooh. Pancakes. I like pancakes. / Well. There you go. http://www.goats.com/archive/971202.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 03 / 1997: valor and pancakes (2) | I was talking to Toothgnip yesterday. He said something to me... something that changed my life. Something about... about pancakes. / / And? / And... uh... pancakes and discussion. I think. Maybe. / / You have the attention span of a fish. / No... I would have remembered if he had mentioned fish. http://www.goats.com/archive/971203.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 04 / 1997: enter the fish (1) | Excuse me, uh, fish, but what is this? / That's Detective Fish to you. And it's a warrant for your arrest, you fish racist. / / Yesterday, you were seen using the phrase "Attention span of a fish." This epithet shows... uh. Something. Yes. Maybe. Is it warm in here? / / Aren't you a bit far from your bowl,... http://www.goats.com/archive/971204.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 05 / 1997: enter the fish (2) | Have you seen a fish around here? / Yeah. Short guy. A little confused. Keeps forgetting his name. / / Where is he? I should get him back to his bowl before he dries out. / Already taken care of. He's in fish Nirvana. / / Hey... this fishbowl makes me feel all funny. http://www.goats.com/archive/971205.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 07 / 1997: diablo's internet dating extravaganza (1) | Whatcha doin'? / I'm talking to a girl I met in a chat room. / / Your species conducts mating rituals over a computer? Isn't that a bit impersonal? / Mental stimulation can be very sensual. / / You can't pour hot wax on a computer's nipples. / You'd be surprised how little that concerns me. http://www.goats.com/archive/971207.html |
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