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| Goats comic strip from November / 02 / 2000: evil in the air (13) | Balloons can pop. They make a loud noise. It's very scary. / You're afraid of balloons. / / / Central Park squirrels. / We're talking irrational fears, here. Balloons can't draw blood. http://www.goats.com/archive/001102.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 03 / 2000: behind the scenes (1) | Wondering where your favorite characters have gone? Delve into the dirty underbelly of comic strip hiring practices as we go...
/ BEHIND the SCENES
/ Day 1: Cheese of Evil / / It was a matter of artistic differences, really. I was ad-libbing during the shoot, and I said to Toothgnip, I said, "Behold the... http://www.goats.com/archive/001103.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 06 / 2000: behind the scenes (2) | Cartoon casting can be a spiky, rust-laden pit of legal complications and bruised egos. Come join is as we go spelunking...
/ BEHIND the SCENES
/ Day 2: Gretchen and Heidi / / Goats was the best time of my life... the drugs, the groupies, the free accordian tunings. Jon said I'd never need look for another... http://www.goats.com/archive/001106.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 07 / 2000: behind the scenes (3) | The pressure of instant celebrity often claims the innocence of an unwitting youth. Like oil and vinegar, drugs and fame just don't mix...
/ BEHIND the SCENES
/ Day 3: Biff Wellington / / Goddamn disposable lighters... I friggin' go through three of these a week. Man, I'd kill for some Cheetos. / *snick... http://www.goats.com/archive/001107.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 08 / 2000: behind the scenes (4) | In today's sexually charged workplace, mild flirtation can often grow into something much bigger. Something long and hard and throbbing...
/ BEHIND the SCENES
/ Day 4: Sex Dwarf / / I thought Phillip was just being friendly, but he wanted more... much more. I walked off the set the day he showed up naked... http://www.goats.com/archive/001108.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 09 / 2000: behind the scenes (5) | Even comic strip celebrities have everyday problems... everyday needs. Sometimes health problems get in the way of cartoon success...
/ BEHIND the SCENES
/ Day 5: Jedi Mouse / / I joined goats back in the early days, back before it was only about money. But at least we had a benefits package. / / But when... http://www.goats.com/archive/001109.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 10 / 2000: behind the scenes (6) | Not all the characters that have left our strip have come to bad ends. Occasionally, there's a light at the end of the tunnel...
/ BEHIND the SCENES
/ Day 6: Lori / / GRAGHRAGH!! BRAINS!! GRAAA!! / gnaw gnaw / / I'm working at Tiffany's now. They're an equal opportunity employer. http://www.goats.com/archive/001110.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 13 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (1) | What's this "suggested donation" thing? / You're helping to support the museum. Just pay it. / / So I don't have to pay the full amount? / The five bucks won't bankrupt you. Just pay. / / How much just to see the monkey-men? / Monkey men is five dollars. http://www.goats.com/archive/001113.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 14 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (2) | We are bound to time. / What? / / We're slaves to time. The future and the past, worries about what was and will be, conspire to keep us from our lives as they are in the present. / / Only when we are drunk or in love can we escape time and live purely in the moment. / And which are you now? http://www.goats.com/archive/001114.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 15 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (3) | But time gives you perspective. Time allows for comparative analysis. / How so? / / Fractal-style patterns are inherent in everything. It's a property of the universe and our lives. You can only truly see where you are with perspective to the other levels of the fractal. / / Personally, I'm a big fan of level... http://www.goats.com/archive/001115.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 16 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (4) | So it boils down to understanding vs. enjoyment. Comprehension vs. experience. / Pretty much. / / And you can't have both. / I blame Heisenberg. Dirty Bastard. / / I think i need a beer. / That's an excellent third option. http://www.goats.com/archive/001116.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 17 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (5) | They don't make turtles like they used to. / Gah. http://www.goats.com/archive/001117.html |
| Goats comic strip from November / 29 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (6) | You. You. You. / There's only one of me, Jon. / / You were at the reunion. And now you're here. / I'm in New York on a consulting project. I was hoping I'd see you. / / Female...Too close. Talking...difficult. / Take a deep breath, and we'll go sit down by the giant mosquitoes. http://www.goats.com/archive/001129.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 01 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (7) | ...so it looks like I'll be in town a few months while we get this site built. / You're an internet consultant. / / Yeah. The travel is a pain, but the money is good. / Where are you staying? / / At a hotel, downtown. But I'd much rather stay with you. If that's ok. / Alan Funt is back there, right? http://www.goats.com/archive/001201.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 04 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (8) | You seriously want to come and stay with me? / Sure, I mean...
/ If it's okay...
/ Are you, um, seeing anyone? / / Who, me? No, No. Not really. / Yeah. Me neither. / / You can understand I'm still having some trouble processing all this. / You can work on it while I get my stuff. http://www.goats.com/archive/001204.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 06 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (9) | Phillip, I need your help. What's the name of that mystery girl? / Madonna / / No, you know...
/ The girl with no name. From reunion. / You meant the horse with no name. From the desert. / / C'mon Phillip. I'm serious. / Yahoo Serious? http://www.goats.com/archive/001206.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 08 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (10) | A girl is coming to live with us in an hour, and I don't even know her name. / You rock my small, self-centered universe. / / This is a real problem. How will I alert her to danger, or the availability of food? / You could ask her what her name is. / / No. I'd look stupid. / Well, yes, but that's a genetic con... http://www.goats.com/archive/001208.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 11 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (11) | It could be worse. You could have Hirsch Sprung's Disease. / I don't even want to know what that is. / / Symptoms include bowel movements the size of footballs. / That's unreasonable. / / Did you know John Wayne Died with 63 pounds of excrement in his bowels? / What the hell are you reading? http://www.goats.com/archive/001211.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 13 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (12) | The doorman is going to buzz her up any minute now. / You should run away. / / No. / Fine. You should sick rabid coelacanths on her. / / Where am I supposed to find coelacanths at this time of day? / Process doesn't concern me. I'm a high-level thinker. http://www.goats.com/archive/001213.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 15 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (13) | Oh Hell. She's here and I still don't know her name. / Run now while you still have a chance. / Buzz buzz / / Click / Hello? / I'll tell her you were maimed in one of those tragic blimp accidents you're always getting in. / / Megan is here to see you. / Thank you. / Lucky bastard. http://www.goats.com/archive/001215.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 18 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (14) | Hi. / Hi. Megan. Hi. / / Is that your only bag? / I won't be needing many clothes. / / Oh. http://www.goats.com/archive/001218.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 20 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (15) | Thump thump thump / / Dial dial dial / / Hello, 911? I think I have a wolverine trapped in my apartment. / I told you to stop calling. http://www.goats.com/archive/001220.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 22 / 2000: that belongs in a museum (16) | Wow. What was that? / The leaping piranha. From one of my old tantra classes. / / You learned that at college? / Yup. You don't remember? That used to be your favorite. / / I think my memory is going to need a lot of refreshing. / I suggest you call in sick to work this week. http://www.goats.com/archive/001222.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 25 / 2000: sticky, but yellow (1) | jon is having sex. / Liar. Did you see the "Help Wanted" sign outside of Wendy's? / / No, really. Furniture is being up-ended as we speak. / It said "Expanding Staff"! / / I can't take it, Phillip. / Oh, c'mon. It's only a mild double entendre. http://www.goats.com/archive/001225.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 27 / 2000: sticky, but yellow (2) | Thanks for letting me move in while the sex continues / No problem. / / Why are you decorating that tree with miniature snowboarders? / It's our X'mas tree. / / A little late aren't you? / The 'X' stands for 'Xtreme'. http://www.goats.com/archive/001227.html |
| Goats comic strip from December / 29 / 2000: sticky, but yellow (3) | I can't believe I missed X'mas again. / I blame Jon. Jon ruined our X'mas. / / Him and his 'Jew-People', always ruining holidays and killing deities. / And having loud, animalistic sex. / / Sex with deities? / Yes, Phillip. All the time. http://www.goats.com/archive/001229.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 01 / 2001: sticky, but yellow (4) | Well, we may have missed Xmas but I won't let the Jews ruin New Years! / Uh... Phillip? / / We'll have a big party with lots of beer, and dancing monkeys, and transvestites! It'll be the best New Year's ever! / We missed New Years too. / / I said, "it'll be the best New Years ever"... / I'll go get the monkeys... http://www.goats.com/archive/010101.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 03 / 2001: megan (1) | Thanks. I'm parched. / Here's your water. / / What do you say we go out tonight? Take a break? / Good idea. I think I've run out of sperm. / / They're showing the director's cut of "Brazil" at the Angelika. / And we can get you a diamond ring on the way home. http://www.goats.com/archive/010103.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 05 / 2001: megan (2) | So you don't have a boyfriend, you're not psychotic, and you like Gilliam movies. / Yes on all counts. / / And you're not a zombie, you don't have feet growing out of your face, and you don't have sexual relationships with musical instruments. / Yes. / / I don't get it. So what is wrong with you? / Sounds like... http://www.goats.com/archive/010105.html |
| Goats comic strip from January / 08 / 2001: megan (3) | Two for "Brazil", please. / I mean, this just doesn't happen. Something must be wrong here. / / That'll be nineteen dollars, please. / And you're paying for the tickets, so you can't be after my money... / / Oh, but I am... I'm going to make you buy the popcorn!! MWA HA HA!! / Wait... that's not sinister. That's... http://www.goats.com/archive/010108.html |
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