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| Goats comic strip from August / 22 / 2003: a tangled web (5) | Wow, Arnaud! Nice office you got here! / No time for pleasantries. We've got a pitch to a client in....twelve hours. / / No sweat. We did eight hours once, remember? / But this time we're bidding against Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick. / / Ooh. Scary. / Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick killed my parents. http://www.goats.com/archive/030822.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 25 / 2003: a tangled web (6) | Mike, it's been far too long. How goes it? / Oh, you know me, still the same old carefree "I'll do anything for a buck" fun-guy hipster. / / Since I left Soylent, I've been working on some personal projects. This summer we found a subculture of mole people in some abandoned subway tunnels that were really into the speed-quilting scene. I started an e-commerce site specializing in infrared hornrimmed glasses and phosphorescent yarn. / / Speed-Quilting? / Yeah, apparently it gets really, really boring down there. http://www.goats.com/archive/030825.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 27 / 2003: a tangled web (7) | So what's the project? / The client wants a value-driven inventory tracking and scalable e-consolidation portal with real-time supply-chain optimization featuring cross-channel integration with legacy stuff. / / / Do you even know what that is? / No, but neither does the client. / I think we should make it bright orange. http://www.goats.com/archive/030827.html |
| Goats comic strip from August / 29 / 2003: a tangled web (8) | ...and the site nav is self-configuring, so maintenance should be a breeze. / That's all good and fine, but what we really need is a snappy name for it. / / I've got it. How about the "Relational Asset Tracking Goal-Oriented Network And Database"? / / You want to call it R.A.T.-G.O.N.A.D.? / Well, it's undeniably memorable. / And the domain name is available too. http://www.goats.com/archive/030829.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 01 / 2003: a tangled web (9) | So that's the last of it. I think we're ready. / Good, because the client will be here in about ten minutes. / / Who is the client, anyway? / Looks like they're a bit early. / / A Mister Dispater here to see you, sir. / If they're not ready for us, I can just read a magazine. http://www.goats.com/archive/030901.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 03 / 2003: a tangled web (10) | Well, what can I say? This is just fabulous. Exactly what we need to manage our...inventory. And I adore this shade of orange. / / I'm glad you like it. / Of course, we're going to have to pay you in human souls. / / This is worse than working for Fox News. / I'm just pulling your leg. I have a corporate Amex. http://www.goats.com/archive/030903.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 05 / 2003: a tangled web (11) | The next project I want to work on is a biggie. As you might guess, the sixth level has a bit of a poor reputation as a vacation spot. We're looking to bring in more tourists. Families, if possible. / / You want us to do an online ad campaign promoting hell as an alternative to Disneyworld? / Personally, I think we have better rides. / / "Hell: it's not just painful disembowelments by a Taco-Spork-wielding-madman for all eternity anymore!" / I'd go a bit less wordy. http://www.goats.com/archive/030905.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 08 / 2003: a tangled web (12) | Arnaud, I'm not entirely comfortable with this client. / Oh, c'mon. It's gonna be great. We've got Slobodan Milosevic doing endorsements. / / And that's supposed to make me feel good about it. / I mean, I was hoping for Hitler. He's got better name recognition in our target demographic. But this is okay. / / You're not getting this at all, are you? / I hear Hitler's difficult to work with anyway. http://www.goats.com/archive/030908.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 10 / 2003: a tangled web (13) | I'm serious, Arnaud. I'm not religious, but this does seem like one of those instances where a bit of caution would be wise. / / No, it's okay, I get you. No need for you work on this project. I have a new production team starting today, and I can put them on it instead. / / You're hiring more people? Who are they? / Oh, I think you'll be meeting them shortly. http://www.goats.com/archive/030910.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 12 / 2003: a tangled web (14) | What part of "I never want to see you again" do you find confusing? / It's good to see you too. / / You're quitting. Today. / No, I think it's going to be much easier to stalk you if I'm in the same office. / / And what's your excuse, traitorous lobotomite? / Don't mind me. I'm just here for the schadenfreude. http://www.goats.com/archive/030912.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 15 / 2003: loose ends (1) | Have you seen Squeaky McGee around? / Who is Squeaky McGee? / / You don't remember him? Oh my. He's probably been erased from the space-time continuum due to some sort of temporal accident. / Oh no! / / It's a shame really. You two shared some special moments. / I miss Squeaky so much. http://www.goats.com/archive/030915.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 17 / 2003: loose ends (2) | C'mon. It's time to settle up. / Can you cover me? I'm a bit short on cash. / / Let me guess. Your cat died. Again. / Do you have any idea how expensive these things are to replace? / / Maybe you should poke some little air holes through the bandages. / Hey, I'm a busy guy. I don't have time for arts and crafts. http://www.goats.com/archive/030917.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 19 / 2003: loose ends (3) | C'mon, Megan, it wasn't even my fault. Lori forced herself on me. / It's not about the kiss, Jon. It's the choices you've made. / / I've had some time to consider this, and it's become clear that you're far too immature to ever have a real-world relationship with anyone. You chose to spend your life in a bar, ogling some white trash slut, safe in your teenage fantasies. Now it's my turn to choose. And I choose to wash my hands of all of this. / / Good-bye, Jon / Well, now I choose you! / I choose you, pikachu! http://www.goats.com/archive/030919.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 24 / 2003: loose ends (5) | Well hello there, Mister. Back for more sugar? / Are you joking? Megan broke up with me because of your little stunt. / / Then a bit of horizontal action can't make matters much worse. Unless you think there's a chance you could get her back. You know, that's quite the dilemma you've got there. / / Get out of my mind, Bene Gesserit Witch! / Pet names already? That's so precious. I'm going to call you "snookums". http://www.goats.com/archive/030924.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 26 / 2003: loose ends (6) | Get your hands off me. / Fine. Your loss. I won't lose any sleep over it. / / But the thing that's going to keep you up at night is trying to decide if I was simply sabotaging your relationship for kicks, or if I really wanted you. / / No, I think I'll sleep quite well tonight. http://www.goats.com/archive/030926.html |
| Goats comic strip from September / 29 / 2003: loose ends (7) | Jon? / / Jon, what are you doing? / / Megan!? / squik / / Oh no. http://www.goats.com/archive/030929.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 01 / 2003: loose ends (8) | Fish, I am so sorry. / What for? / / I like totally killed you. / I don't think so. I feel pretty good, like a carousel pony. / / You have a spike in your chest. / I have a body piercing now! Does that mean I'm cool? http://www.goats.com/archive/031001.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 03 / 2003: loose ends (9) | So you're saying Fish is immortal. / Musta been that zombie goop we fed him. / / He can't be invulnerable. What if he was eaten by a cat? / Well, yes, then he'd be a snack. At which point the cat itself would most likely become immortal. http://www.goats.com/archive/031003.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 06 / 2003: loose ends (10) | I am Space Mummy. I am going to take your fish. / Okay. / / You can't let him take Fish! / Why? Do you think he's the bad type of Space Mummy? / / Of course not. I'm sure he's a humanitarian Space Mummy. / That's good. Because he's really big and scary. http://www.goats.com/archive/031006.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 08 / 2003: loose ends (11) | Time to make another choice, Jon. / One step ahead of you. HEY! Mr. Space Mummy! / / Speak. / I'll give you THIRTY BUCKS to let the fish go. / / Jon! / Okay, forty! But I'm gonna have to borrow back subway fare from you. http://www.goats.com/archive/031008.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 10 / 2003: loose ends (12) | Insolent worm. I will take your woman as well. She will be sold to the sentient flatulence worms of Bortox Seven for use as live bait. / / Well, this couldn't get any worse. / Sure it could. / / Who wants some coffee!? http://www.goats.com/archive/031010.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 13 / 2003: loose ends (13) | We used to hang out, man. We used to be TIGHT. / It's not my fault, Frank! I swear! / / Then whose fault is it? / Its, uh, the Space Mummy's fault. Yes. / / Him? What'd he do? / Stuff. Lots of stuff. Kill him now, please. http://www.goats.com/archive/031013.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 15 / 2003: loose ends (14) | Alright, buddy, tea time is over. / / / Be quiet. http://www.goats.com/archive/031015.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 17 / 2003: loose ends (15) | Koff Koff / / You've won this round. But you haven't seen the last of SPACE MUMMY. / / Mummy - B - Gon / 98% guaranteed mummy removal spray http://www.goats.com/archive/031017.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 20 / 2003: loose ends (16) | Since when do you carry a can of anti-mummy spray? / Did you know this stuff's main ingredient is chili dogs? / / Jon / It's Phillip's. He left it in the bathroom when he moved out, and I'm just getting around to returning it to him. / / Phillip keeps mummy spray in the bathroom? / I think he likes the little picture of Heather Locklear on the side. http://www.goats.com/archive/031020.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 22 / 2003: loose ends (17) | I gotta admit you really came through, Jonny. Color me impressed. / Thanks. Listen, Megan, I have something I think I need to say. / / What you said to me earlier was a wakeup call. I need to rededicate myself and turn things around. I think I can do it with your help. Megan, will you marry me? / / Oh. Jon, I'm so sorry, but no. http://www.goats.com/archive/031022.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 24 / 2003: loose ends (18) | No? No? Megan, no? Did you say no? / I still don't know if I can trust you, Jon. / / I saved you from a freaking Space Mummy, Megan. / And that's super. But it's not enough. / / I destroyed Phobos for you, too. / Well, maybe something can be worked out. http://www.goats.com/archive/031024.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 27 / 2003: loose ends (19) | I won't marry you, but I am willing to give you another chance. / So, wait. Are we still living together? / / Yes. / Are we having sex on a regular basis? / / Sure. / So what's the difference? / / I'm not your girlfriend--we're just dating. / Again, what's the difference? / / You have to take me out for nice dinners. / fin. http://www.goats.com/archive/031027.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 29 / 2003: killing time (1) | What the hell is on your t-shirt? / It's a pirate monkey robot. I bought it from some webcomic. / / What does that have to do with the webcomic? / Dunno. Maybe it mentioned monkeys once. / / And why exactly did you buy this monkey shirt? / Lack of free will? http://www.goats.com/archive/031029.html |
| Goats comic strip from October / 31 / 2003: killing time (2) | Hitler's Internet Musings / Friday, October 31st, 2003 / 10:13 am - Happy Halloween! / I don't know about you guys, but I am so psyched for Himmler's costume party tonight. He said they're probably getting a keg and they might be able to get some Triple Sec too, which is my absolute fave. Eichman is going to be there -- I think he might have a crush on me. / / We're going to see Scary Movie 3 next weekend. I'll let you know what happens! / / I have to say I'm a little disappointed with the new Radiohead album. I just don't get it. I think maybe they've lost their golden touch. / Anyway, not much else going on today. / Here's a naughty picture of me! / Peace out, Hitler / / I really didn't need to see Hitler's nipple today. / I think I'm going to buy him something off his wishlist. http://www.goats.com/archive/031031.html |
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